Things that are guaranteed to put you off an eBay listing

Stuckfast

The word L@@k.

The use of phrases like "from Neve SSL studio" or "like Gibson, PRS" in the listing header.

Passive aggressive selling ("This is the LAST TIME I'm listing this" -- well, it's not anyone else's fault you set a ridiculously high starting price, is it?)

"Grab yourself a bargain" -- it's an auction, how do you know it'll be a bargain?

Sob stories ("I really don't want to sell this but my rabbit needs an operation...").

Listing it as a Fender or Gibson when actually it's a Squier or Epiphone.

"Sold as seen because I have no way of testing it..." It's a snare drum. You hit it. It makes a sound.

I'm sure there are many more.

BloodEagle

'RARE'

tone1

My favourite is...'I have 2 of these and this is my spare one'

HarrySeven

Any over-effusive, flowery language which talks-up the item in question.

Sassafras

'She' is a beauty.
'She' plays well.
'She' is a frigging plank of wood, you moron!

Bygone_Tones

Descriptions that begin "I am selling my..."

Flink_Poyd

People listing as Best Offer and replying with "ha ha ha" like some bloke did today.

Danji

Guitars with dubious and tenuous links to celebs, "this guitar belonged to [insert shitty indie band] and was given to the roadie after their first UK tour".

Then asking £10,000 for a Japanese Telecaster...

Out of focus pictures, or stock photographs of the real thing.

stimpsonslostson

"plays better than my Custom Shop guitar"... But you're selling this rather than cashing in on that.. why?

"Modified"... Followed by a list of modifications to justify a big price hike over an unmolested example. 

"She" makes my skin crawl. 

Anything with ridiculously high postage charges. £20 is ok... More than that makes me think twice. 

There's a few sellers i wont bid on- you can tell they're shill bidding to put the price up.
 One even refused to sell me an item because the end price wasn't "economically viable" for them (no reserve though). 

Voxman

When they insist on cash only even though its a breach of Ebay rules because Paypal always has to be offered.

Ads where the price includes the cost of mods that I don't want!

Ads where you'd expect the hard case to be included for that guitar but the seller has kept it but expects to get the same price!

Ads with no or low feedback responses.

Ads that require collection only with no postage option, which means its pointless bidding if they are too far away. 

Ads where something is missing or broken and the seller says its easy and cheap to fix/replace. If its that easy and that cheap why hasn't the seller fixed it so they can sell it easier and get a better price!?

Ads where the seller says they know nothing because they are selling it for a friend!  Doesn't inspire confidence! 

WezV

stimpsonslostson said:

Anything with ridiculously high postage charges. £20 is ok... More than that makes me think twice. 

walk into a post office with a cased and properly packaged guitar and you would be lucky to walk out with change from £40

i trust people charging high postage more than those who assume they can post a guitar for a tenner

ICBM

Ebay

stimpsonslostson

WezV said:

stimpsonslostson said:

Anything with ridiculously high postage charges. £20 is ok... More than that makes me think twice. 

walk into a post office with a cased and properly packaged guitar and you would be lucky to walk out with change from £40

i trust people charging high postage more than those who assume they can post a guitar for a tenner

Guess I'm lucky- My local guitar store will send your guitar via their courier for £20. They'll even help you package it up! 

WezV

stimpsonslostson said:

WezV said:

stimpsonslostson said:

Anything with ridiculously high postage charges. £20 is ok... More than that makes me think twice. 

walk into a post office with a cased and properly packaged guitar and you would be lucky to walk out with change from £40

i trust people charging high postage more than those who assume they can post a guitar for a tenner

Guess I'm lucky- My local guitar store will send your guitar via their courier for £20. They'll even help you package it up! 

Oh, there are loads of cheaper ways to do it and if you see a high postage charge it's worth asking what you are getting for the money.

There are also loads of people who underpack and send by the cheapest and slowest route.   

mr-mac

Should be ok but not got means to test it...

Oh what BS... Read... Tested and it's fucked!!!

TonyR

"Plays like butter"...

Sassafras

A priceless piece of rock memorabilia which will only go up in value.
A unique opportunity to buy this once in a lifetime investment. 

musicman100

WezV said:

stimpsonslostson said:

Anything with ridiculously high postage charges. £20 is ok... More than that makes me think twice. 

walk into a post office with a cased and properly packaged guitar and you would be lucky to walk out with change from £40

i trust people charging high postage more than those who assume they can post a guitar for a tenner

Totally agree. 

musicman100

It's not just on eBay but gumtree etc and even forums.
over use of the word rare?
best guitar I've ever owned?
Only selling because I need the money but will trade for a special guitar?

FreddieVanHalen

stimpsonslostson said:

WezV said:

stimpsonslostson said:

Anything with ridiculously high postage charges. £20 is ok... More than that makes me think twice. 

walk into a post office with a cased and properly packaged guitar and you would be lucky to walk out with change from £40

i trust people charging high postage more than those who assume they can post a guitar for a tenner

Guess I'm lucky- My local guitar store will send your guitar via their courier for £20. They'll even help you package it up! 

Yep, that is a bloody good service! Wish I had a place near me that did that.

usedtobe

Lawsuit