Flu.....what an utter barstarding cockweasel

paulnb57

I've thought I'd had Flu in the past, but that was just a heavy cold. 7 days in and not even close to feeling on the mend....everything aches even my fucking teeth, my throat feels like Ive swallowed razors, Im either freezing or sweating....even my farts ache!
I cant remember feeling this bad for so long...ever.......sneezing, coughing, shivering....utter, utter bastard......

randella

Yeah I'm with you - when you get flu you know about it.  I've only had it once and never again - it ain't no common-or-household cold, that's for sure.

Hoping you feel better soon!

jellyroll

Achy Breaky Farts? Lol.  Must be a Billy Ray Cyrus Virus

Jalapeno

jellyroll said:

Achy Breaky Farts? Lol.  Must be a Billy Ray Cyrus Virus

Masterful !!!!!!

stimpsonslostson

Yup. That sounds like flu.
I had it last year, MrsLostSon came home to find me sitting (wrapped in blankets) staring at the blue screen that comes up when a DVD finishes on our player.

"Why havent you put something else on"
"I didn't want to get up & knew you'd be home soon"
"How long ago did it finish?"
"About an hour ago"

I was PATHETIC! All the best.

Dominic

Real flu is terrible ...........emphasis on real

speshul91

jellyroll said:

Achy Breaky Farts? Lol.  Must be a Billy Ray Cyrus Virus

Absolute genuis lol, i may or may not be stealing that. 

Jalapeno

Sounds like a proper flu as opposed to a head cold. 

Plenty fluids, paracetamol and keep warm.

Chuffola

Just be grateful it's not man flu.

Jalapeno

Chuffola said:

Just be grateful it's not man flu.

Sounds like it is tbh

CloudNine

I would recommend a large dose of man-the-fuck-up. 

Things should improve from then onwards.

thermionic

Something similar spoilt my Christmas. Exactly as you say - like the worst few hours of a really heavy cold but you wake up day after day with no improvement. My sinuses were so painful one night I couldn't get to sleep at all. I could still feel the aftereffects 3-4 weeks later.

shrinkwrap

Had the swine version when that was around.
Eight days in bed and ended up with hallucinating daydreams. When I felt recovered I remember going to work and up a set of stairs I normally take two at a time, and even at a slow single step, I had to stop to get my energy back.
Far worse than glandular fever that I had as a young adult.
Cloud Nine has obviously not had it!

stickyfiddle

Oh man, every sympathy. Real flu is properly horrible. I've only had it a couple of times but it seriously fucks you over. When you start the hallucinations you know it's really bad..!

jonnyburgo

I've had it once in my twenty's when I really wasn't looking after myself, couldn't walk to the chemist without stopping every 10steps, looked and felt like a junkie doing cold turkey, to top it off picked up some horrible throat infection, literally was ready to write a will. Lasted over a week. Horrible. On the plus side you can say to people "that ain't the flu" when they come in to work claiming they have it.

CloudNine

shrinkwrap said:

Cloud Nine has obviously not had it!

Of course I have. I just adopted a positive mental attitude, powered on through it.

I did exactly the same with the Ebola. Bleeding from every orifice is a nuisance, but you can't be daunted by these things.

freakboy1610

"utter barstarding cockweasel" Make mental note

VimFuego

had proper flu once, woke up in the wee small hours shivering as I'd basically sweated through the duvet, it was soaked through. Eveything hurt, as you say, but the worse was how ay touch hurt my skin. Took me a good week to get over it. The irony was I got it cos mrs F had an ear infection one night and had to go the docs and didn't want to walk round on her own (balance had gone) so I went with her and waited in the waiting room, pretty sure I picked it up there, those places are like fucking leper colonies or something.