Final Decision on Band Situation..Advice Welcomed(Now Quit)

Bellycaster

So, a couple of months back I posted this:

http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/97490/should-i-sack-them-off-band-advice-please/p3


Thank you again for the advice on that . At the time I decided to give until the end of April as a trial period to see if things got better.

There has been glimmers of hope, at random times, but most of the time I am left feeling utterly exhausted with it, don't look forward to rehearsals and generally feel despondent after most rehearsals.

I'm gonna fill you in with some more details and would appreciate your thoughts on them. I have told them today what I'm not happy with, but wanted to vent on here before my final decision (which is all but decided anyway), could do with having some of you to chin wag with

On the Original thread (linked above) I posted that we had 16 songs done by end of February.

Songs were:

Ziggy
Queen Bitch
Moonage Daydream
Jean Genie
Starman
Hang onto Yourself
Rebel Rebel
Sorrow
Suffragette City
Heroes
Man Who Sold the World
Modern Love
China Girl
Let's Dance(this sounds ok without keys)
Loving the Alien (Live Version)
Dancing in the Street

So we took out "Loving the Alien", leaving 15 songs. We eventually, but not quickly enough, decided on a "full set" of 24 songs, which are the ones above plus:

Changes(Guitar does Piano)
Space Oddity
Let's Spend the Night Together(Bowie cover of Stones Track)
Blue Jean.....Which I've asked the others to look at for the past 2 weeks and no one has except me, learned it in 30 minutes
All the Young Dudes
Diamond Dogs
Kooks
John, I'm Only Dancing
Passenger (Yeah, I know, very tenuous Bowie link)

So, this is an adequate set at best and has a look of being "Chucked together" if I'm honest, but, there is no "Life on Mars" in there. Whenever I mention doing it using the SPDS Keyboard Sampler that I was told on joining that they had and that they were going to use for it, they've moved the goalposts on it saying, "Meh, don't really want to do it that way."

So when I suggest to do a good Guitar only version of it (using a clean Guitar instead of Piano) the suggestion just gets brushed aside.

More annoyances.....They are using paid rehearsal time for listening and learning stuff - even stuff we've played correctly before - that they should have learned at home first, listening to songs through the mics with their phones. Singer is forgetting lyrics to songs we have been rehearsing 10 weeks or more and still using his lyric sheets for a lot of them.

Using paid for rehearsal time for designing the order of the set, intelligent placing of the tracks etc, then for shorter gigs and longer gigs. Kin 'ell, yes this is good but FFS do it while we're not paying for it.

We had 3 hours last night and because we had a half decent week last week in playing through some of the more recent additions to the set, I thought "Great, we'll be able to play through the whole of the set tonight". Did we fuck, they were forgetting stuff all over the place. FFS we've played all the songs multiple times.

Wanting to skip past songs they thought were a given, until I insisted that we did them and then they fucked up/forgot some of the parts of those proving that they were not a "given".

You'd seriously think that after 14 rehearsals at 3 hours a time, that any band who were serious and were putting in the work at home before coming to the rehearsal day and brushing up on it to keep it up there would be able to whip through this easy set well within 3 hours, especially when they knew half the set before I joined.

I've learned around 29 Bowie tracks, all at home, some without being asked, all so I've got them upstairs and ready to play and it pisses me off when no one else equals the effort.

Then the icing on the cake was - on us wasting more practice time talking about what we'll wear at gigs we don't even have yet - one of the guys telling us about a 5 foot tall Elvis impersonator he saw, who didn't sound anything like Elvis, but looked so cool and dressed up so well, that he got bookings all over the place and was never out of work. His point of this conversation was, and I quote...."If we look good up there, most people notice that more than how we sound"

So I've put 3 and a bit months and £100 in rehearsals into this and it's 30 mile round trip to where we practice. I've got a great mate who I've known all my life who stepped in to help me when he found out I was joining them by taking me there and back when I don't have my work's van and I've obviously given him a fair bit in Petrol money too, he deserves a bloody medal that bloke.

I'm so pissed off, it's been soul destroying, but I had to give the band a trial period I guess.

Have you ever been this let down by a Band?

Thanks for reading.

dazzajl

Ouch!!

I've not had band stress in nearly 30 years, since the one we started at school but I've been in projects where people aren't on the same page like that and it gets ugly. 

These days I only play with people I'd want to be with even without the music because life is just too short. If it's not paying your bills and you don't need to be there, sure priority one is that you enjoy it. 

ICBM

I would have left before it got anywhere near as bad as that.

Been in a couple which were quite disfunctional which died of their own devices before it got to that point.

EricTheWeary

Have you got any gigs booked? They'll either focus the mind and it will all come together or they'll be a car crash. Either way you'll have an answer. 
If there are no gigs booked or no likelihood of them I might be chalking it down to experience at this point. 

DesVegas

Sounds like you should get together at a pub to go through the set list. See how that goes, without any instruments. If you still think it's not going to work then sack it off and save yourself the stress. Advertise for a new Bowie covers band and see if anyone else wants to put the effort in you have.

Adam_MD

As soon as it's not fun I'd quit.  No point doing t if the rest won't put in anything close to the effort you were.  You and your mate who drove you there every week deserve a medal for putting up with that shit.

John_P

Walk away.       As soon as someone start learning songs in rehearsal more than once you know that it's their way and they won't change - you'll just get frustrated.      Could have been a great project but they are not working at your level or taking on board your comments.     Life is too short for that - especially without lots of gigs.  

timmysoft

tail end of last year i started jamming with a new originals band, all really good guys, all of a similar age and all wanting to make good rock music. Getting everyone together was a real struggle, 3 months passed with only 3 rehearsals taking place and the band only really using material that they'd previously written (without me). The rehearsal time was quite unproductive, start and finish times were vague, as was the intention of the band. 

 Ultimately it lacked direction so last month it ended. It actually made me realise that if i'm doing another originals band, i'm doing it on my terms and putting it together myself. 

 Bands are hard work and a lot of the time people don't want a second job or to be bossed around for something thats essentially a hobby and should be fun. For me though, the fun bit of being in a band is creating something thats good.

tony99

Tell Rod Stewart to take his leopardskin leggings and fuck off!

Bellycaster

ICBM said:

I would have left before it got anywhere near as bad as that.

Been in a couple which were quite disfunctional which died of their own devices before it got to that point.

I'll not make the same mistake twice

DesVegas said:

Sounds like you should get together at a pub to go through the set list. See how that goes, without any instruments. If you still think it's not going to work then sack it off and save yourself the stress. Advertise for a new Bowie covers band and see if anyone else wants to put the effort in you have.

I'd love it if the set was the only problem, that could be worked on, very true, but there is such a gulf with too many other things.

Adam_MD said:

As soon as it's not fun I'd quit.  No point doing t if the rest won't put in anything close to the effort you were.  You and your mate who drove you there every week deserve a medal for putting up with that shit.

Too bloody right mate Not many have mates as good as that!


On a separate note, I've always, from the start compared this Bowie band to my last covers band (who, incidentally, has just got back together). Just to put things in perspective, my reformed band rehearsed for the first time in 5 months last week and did 20 songs without a glitch. We did the rehearsal with our original singer from waaaay back who hadn't done the songs for even longer and he just reeled them off no problem, quite an alarming difference I think you'll agree.

I would be sacking the Bowie Band off even if my other band had not been reformed by the way, that's jut coincidental.

I have walked away now @John_P

They've been given the news anyway, I've not got a reply yet, oooooh, that'll be a good read.

horse

timmysoft said:

 Bands are hard work and a lot of the time people don't want a second job or to be bossed around for something thats essentially a hobby and should be fun. For me though, the fun bit of being in a band is creating something thats good.

^ This ^

I'd have been long gone

richardhomer

I should imagine you're feeling under pressure....

Bellycaster

tony99 said:

Tell Rod Stewart to take his leopardskin leggings and fuck off!

Haha, Lolled

You remembered @tony99 ;



Yes @timmysoft I imagine with an originals band it's even more demanding to get things right. Your situation sounds just as draining as mine was.

Worse is I found myself kidding myself on about this band at times, although with very brief glimpses of light, there's always one day when you realise just how much of a waste of time it is in a bad situation, it hits hard.

sw67

Its not easy - i had 14 months of problems in my current band some of which made me quit twice. After 3 drummers 1 guitarist and a singer we now have a 4 piece band that is getting good gigs , is fun and we are all mates now that have a good time.

Voxman

ICBM said: no ok

I would have left before it got anywhere near as bad as that.

Been in a couple which were quite disfunctional which died of their own devices before it got to that point.

Ditto. Long post but short answer is if most of the time you're not enjoying it, put it down to experience, bow out gracefully and move on. Simples. None of the rest matters. 

Bellycaster

richardhomer said:

I should imagine you're feeling under pressure....

I have more a feeling of Sorrow, but I'll get over it. I never wanted Fame anyway.

Bellycaster

sw67 said:

Its not easy - i had 14 months of problems in my current band some of which made me quit twice. After 3 drummers 1 guitarist and a singer we now have a 4 piece band that is getting good gigs , is fun and we are all mates now that have a good time.

Glad that worked out for you, hope you carry that on and you do well.

I have been in a similar situation of having a core of a band and then trying to build up members to complete it, it was for a Funk Band, it lasted about 16 months, went through 3 drummers and countless time wasters and almost bagged the Holy Grail, which is a Keyboardist, but we never realised our dream, everything that could have gone wrong did just that.

It puts years on yer

Kebabkid

That's crap, J and I know how hard you've worked at this.

Speak to you soon

Bellycaster

Kebabkid said:

That's crap, J and I know how hard you've worked at this.

Speak to you soon

Cheers, Cos. Yeah, I've been Uber-Tolerant and over optimistic at times with this lot, but sense will always prevail

Get back to you on a PM soon when things get less mental.

JezWynd

Bellycaster said:

richardhomer said:

I should imagine you're feeling under pressure....

I have more a feeling of Sorrow, but I'll get over it. I never wanted Fame anyway.

Time is a great healer.

  

Funkfingers

Seems to me that the OP is the wrong band.

POLITICS
The politics do not seem to be working. You seem to have neither a collaborative consensus nor a controlling mastermind - calling the shots BUT paying the others a wage. Three against two and no definite pay rates is a punch-up waiting to happen.

MUSIC
An act that bills itself as a Bowie tribute should stick to Bowie material - either recordings released under his name or songwriting collaborations.

The Roderick/Faces material belongs in a different act - even if it is the exactly the same personnel, working under a different name.

I dare say that it would be possible to put together a "double bill" tribute show. First set - artiste A. Second set - artiste B. The trick would be to choose to cover acts of either compatible musical styles or compatible audiences.

Bowie 'n' Rod is a train wreck waiting to happen. Bowie 'n' Iggy or Bowie 'n' Lou Reed shows might conceivably find willing audiences.