How do you find or research what job would suit you?

thecolourbox

Thanks all for the input and thoughts it's really helpful

I don't necessarily need to enjoy my job. I would like something that suits me, yes, but I don't need to enjoy it. That would be a bonus but not essential. I want something I can cope with, at present I can't cope getting home late and having no life at home because of having two hours a night to do everything.

I understand a drop in salary would be likely, that's fine to an extent as long as it's not too much - I already don't earn much especially considering the two jobs I'm doing, money is not my motivation but I do accept I need it to live and not have my house repossessed. There's a balance - I don't need to be paid tons of money as long as it's regular money and I can actually leave at least once a week before 6pm that would be an infinite improvement.

My cynicism has been learned or grown or whatever, I didn't used to be so bad. It's just that uni and my first job, and now my second job, have worn me down because I've worked so damn hard at it only to be overlooked dumped on, and paid less than a graduate salary. I genuinely do not care if they are reading this, because I'd say it to their face - DTZ you are an absolute joke and I'll be glad when you go under again. Sorry, off on a tangent there. But yeah, it's a cause and effect thing - my cycicism is a result of where I've been, not what has got me here.

I'm also very introverted which is a huge problem for me

underdog

WezV said:

walk out.  Start again.

it sounds ridiculous and scary, and it will be for a while.  But you will find another job and you will realise that you have many other options if you chose to take them

Some of the best jobs I've ever had were ones I just went for because I needed a job desperately, jobs I'd definitely not applied for had already been working. So a lot of sense in what you say wez

Best advice I can offer in terms of employment happiness, work for yourself.

thecolourbox

underdog said:

WezV said:

walk out.  Start again.

it sounds ridiculous and scary, and it will be for a while.  But you will find another job and you will realise that you have many other options if you chose to take them

Some of the best jobs I've ever had were ones I just went for because I needed a job desperately, jobs I'd definitely not applied for had already been working. So a lot of sense in what you say wez

Best advice I can offer in terms of employment happiness, work for yourself.

I imagine it could happen, sadly didn't work for the two jobs I've had and they were both in those circumstance! Also, not sure I could work for myself until I actually have something to work doing, skills or product or whatever

underdog

thecolourbox said:

underdog said:

WezV said:

walk out.  Start again.

it sounds ridiculous and scary, and it will be for a while.  But you will find another job and you will realise that you have many other options if you chose to take them

Some of the best jobs I've ever had were ones I just went for because I needed a job desperately, jobs I'd definitely not applied for had already been working. So a lot of sense in what you say wez

Best advice I can offer in terms of employment happiness, work for yourself.

I imagine it could happen, sadly didn't work for the two jobs I've had and they were both in those circumstance! Also, not sure I could work for myself until I actually have something to work doing, skills or product or whatever

The people I know who are actually happy in their job generally took a huge leap of faith and a massive risk and just went for something that seemed ridiculous and out of reach. 

Like you had a job I wasn't happy in, when I was 32 I quit my well paid secure job in IT, paid out of my own pocket to RE train in an another area, almost 7 years (and lots of risk and hard work later) I'm well paid but far more importantly happy in my job. At the time I quit I have a over 100k on the mortgage and a new born.

thecolourbox

underdog said:

thecolourbox said:

underdog said:

WezV said:

walk out.  Start again.

it sounds ridiculous and scary, and it will be for a while.  But you will find another job and you will realise that you have many other options if you chose to take them

Some of the best jobs I've ever had were ones I just went for because I needed a job desperately, jobs I'd definitely not applied for had already been working. So a lot of sense in what you say wez

Best advice I can offer in terms of employment happiness, work for yourself.

I imagine it could happen, sadly didn't work for the two jobs I've had and they were both in those circumstance! Also, not sure I could work for myself until I actually have something to work doing, skills or product or whatever

The people I know who are actually happy in their job generally took a huge leap of faith and a massive risk and just went for something that seemed ridiculous and out of reach. 

Like you had a job I wasn't happy in, when I was 32 I quit my well paid secure job in IT, paid out of my own pocket to RE train in an another area, almost 7 years (and lots of risk and hard work later) I'm well paid but far more importantly happy in my job. At the time I quit I have a over 100k on the mortgage and a new born.

I'm not well paid though so I don't have the security of enough money in the bank to do that - It's a more viable option if you've been well paid. I only finished the real estate training last year but if I have to retrain I will, just don't know how to find what to aim for. 

underdog

thecolourbox said:

underdog said:

thecolourbox said:

underdog said:

WezV said:

walk out.  Start again.

it sounds ridiculous and scary, and it will be for a while.  But you will find another job and you will realise that you have many other options if you chose to take them

Some of the best jobs I've ever had were ones I just went for because I needed a job desperately, jobs I'd definitely not applied for had already been working. So a lot of sense in what you say wez

Best advice I can offer in terms of employment happiness, work for yourself.

I imagine it could happen, sadly didn't work for the two jobs I've had and they were both in those circumstance! Also, not sure I could work for myself until I actually have something to work doing, skills or product or whatever

The people I know who are actually happy in their job generally took a huge leap of faith and a massive risk and just went for something that seemed ridiculous and out of reach. 

Like you had a job I wasn't happy in, when I was 32 I quit my well paid secure job in IT, paid out of my own pocket to RE train in an another area, almost 7 years (and lots of risk and hard work later) I'm well paid but far more importantly happy in my job. At the time I quit I have a over 100k on the mortgage and a new born.

I'm not well paid though so I don't have the security of enough money in the bank to do that - It's a more viable option if you've been well paid. I only finished the real estate training last year but if I have to retrain I will, just don't know how to find what to aim for. 

I was well paid in that the wage was good, I had literally zero saved not single penny

thecolourbox

underdog said:

I was well paid in that the wage was good, I had literally zero saved not single penny

Yeah but imagine that, with less wages

underdog

I guess it's easy for me to say having done it, but for all the risks I took it was worth it a hundred times over in the end.

chrispy108

Can you change companies in the same field?

If your current lot (whose name I would delete if I was you) are a shower of shit, then maybe it's them you don't like, not the entire field.

EricTheWeary

I have occasionally wondered if there was a career I should have pursued but have no real knowledge of. Would I have been happier as an optician or jam maker.
It is very hard as an adult to switch careers. I applied for things like van driving but people just think you're a bit weird and there are lots of people in the world with van driving experience so I got nowhere. The people I know who have done it ( changed careers) successfully have pretty much had to give up work to train and end up in debt. 
Sorry, that's not very positive but you could give some thought as to how you could freeze the mortgage for a year once you've found something to do.

thecolourbox

chrispy108 said:

Can you change companies in the same field?

If your current lot (whose name I would delete if I was you) are a shower of shit, then maybe it's them you don't like, not the entire field.

Theoretically yes I can do that but it wouldn't make any difference, I already did that and it ended up the same story

jonnyburgo

Sounds like you need a challenge, maybe something in a helping role where you learn to communicate with people. Just because you are introvert now doesn't mean you always have to be. Maybe your introvert nature has led you to feeling that you've been passed over and dumped on, A shitty company will do that to its quiet staff all day long.

I know you said you don't want specific job suggestions but think about what you like and what you are good at and also areas of improvement that need to be challenged..

And try for a job that you enjoy. You spend too much of life just doing a job that "pays the bills" Ive been there done that for years and ultimately it's depressing, I absolutely love my work because its challenging, makes me use my imagination, tests my interpersonal skills, keeps me young and I'm actively making a difference to peoples lives. That's not to say it would be the job for you though of course, in fact most would run a mile!

Sounds like you are in a real funk, maybe you just need to think outside the box a little, new directions are always scary but its your call man, either do it or feel even worse 10 yrs down the line.

Best of luck pal.

ToneControl

thecolourbox said:

ToneControl said:

retrain as a plumber

Not necessarily that but I have considered other manual things even though I'm about as practical as a wet fish. But i'm really not after job recommendations, just how to find what I might want to do

find out who has a better lifestyle than you, and doesn't seem stressed out from work
think about whether you want to work in an organisation, or self-employed?
in an office or not
a call centre?
targets set for you by others?
are you good at office politics or not?
do you like interacting with new customers
are you good at problem solving?

my mate does plumbing, rarely leaves for work before 9am, sometimes has lunch at home, is usually home by about 5pm, and has earned over £60k up north

thecolourbox

Thanks everyone for your kind help and comments. I have quite a lot to start off on so I'm very grateful, will give it some energy and attention along with a wider decluttering of life and see what happens.

Thanks again for the kind wishes and tips

Myranda

I am trained (and quite good) as  Goldsmith... Loved the work but without your own tools/workshop the pay can be punishing low and this is am expensive area... 

Then I got made redundant because my boss hadn't upped his prices in years but everything was more expensive... 

Pretty small job market so I ended up in a crappy warehouse job to pay the bills... After a while I was in your position - hated what I was doing, always tired... 

So I started to think - what *can* I do? What interests me? What do I enjoy? Where are my talents? 

Well I used a computer since I was tiny, getting a computer and a "write your own games" as a sort of educational present for I think my 7th birthday... I am interested in technology, cyber security, computer forensics (all forensics actually), law, music and film... 

Well law would require a huge investment (degree alone isn't enough LPC, etc costs morey)... I'm not good enough at music to make money from it, and doubt anyone will pay me to watch films... So computers. Applied for every interesting but poorly paid job I could see - Hopefully the qualified types wouldn't apply as it wasn't paid well enough... Nothing. 

So I went to uni. Start over and f*** it. Scary as hell - my job was crappy but it paid my bills and fed me... 

You have a house and mortgage - you can sell it pay off mortgage and have savings... Try new jobs, train, go to uni, travel... Start your own business. You can do anything if you want it enough... 

What are you good at? What interests you? What are your talents? There are some HR types on this forum... Given your skills and interests they might (or might not) come up with a job you could enjoy... 

thecolourbox

That's the trouble though, if I had identifiable skills or abilities then it would point in a certain direction but I don't really. The only qualification I have of any use whatsoever is my masters in real estate (not a real masters though don't get excited, just a faster degree) so I'm kind of stuck for skills really. I don't have any useful hobbies or anything

What I also think is a big problem and obstacle for me is that it's essentially my own fault as I've caused this over the last 15 years and now I've realised I messed up. I've never known what to do or what I want so I've just done whatever presented itself and was expected of me. In wider life in general I just do what other people want because I'm not too fussed myself, and now im getting my comeuppance

Myranda

While you might not feel you have transferable skills I'd bet you have some... 

But, you stand at a fork in the road - continue down the path of being miserable (and when you've already decided you're not happy, that will only get worse) or... Do something about it. 

Retrain, go back to school, quit sell up and move... Something. But you will want to be proactive - otherwise you'll waste years and then have a proper mid-life crisis 

Roland

thecolourbox said:
... if I had identifiable skills or abilities then it would point in a certain direction but I don't really. The only qualification I have of any use whatsoever is my masters in real estate 

That's a qualification, not a skill. Skills are things like playing guitar, keeping tidy records, and neat handwriting. You will have some of those. You will also have saleable attributes. Some people are happy to travel for hours and live out of hotels. Others are happy to sit at the same desk every day of their lives. 

thecolourbox said:

... In wider life in general I just do what other people want because I'm not too fussed myself, and now im getting my comeuppance

That's step one. It's your equivalent of "I am an alcoholic". Realisation that you need to change is the first step towards doing something about it.

thecolourbox said:

Yeah I just need to find something to make me want to have drive...vicious circle

Drive comes from having goals to work towards. There are plenty of people with energy running round like headless chickens, but with no direction in life. If you've got a goal that you want to achieve then you will find the time and energy to work towards it.

One way of identifying what motivates you is to write your own obituary. Then set goals based on that. So, for example, if you want to be remembered as a guitar player you can then decide whether that's for technical ability, entertaining performance, or being solid band member. You can then set yourself an appropriate target, such as playing at an open mic night before the end of 2017. 

You might find a goal which causes you to change career path, or you might decide that you just want a 9 to 5 which brings in the cash whilst you put your energies elsewhere.

Grunfeld

Roland said:

thecolourbox said:

Yeah I just need to find something to make me want to have drive...vicious circle

Drive comes from having goals to work towards. There are plenty of people with energy running round like headless chickens, but with no direction in life...

One way of identifying what motivates you is to write your own obituary. Then set goals based on that...
You might find a goal which causes you to change career path, or you might decide that you just want a 9 to 5 which brings in the cash whilst you put your energies elsewhere.

I'm gonna add something about that which might seem like a minor thing to a lot of people but for me it was a game changer.
I got rid of goals as the primary motivation.
The thing about goals, in my mind at any rate, was they were like things on a shopping list.  Once I'd done them I was, "And now what?"   And THAT bloody feeling of "now what?" was the problem.
Which was why I mentioned "values" earlier.
You never get to complete a value -- they are like a beacon which guides you.  You never actually get there but at least you know which direction or directions you want to be going in.  (And yes, inevitably you get some competing values cos life is messy.)
So values guided my own personal change of career; not goals as such.  The goals kind of look after themselves once you know where you're going.
Where do you find your values?

Google!  And have a think and be ruthlessly honest.  I thought I "ought" to be more family oriented in my values but the truth of it is that  I'm not.  I care about other things instead.

ThePrettyDamned

Myranda said:

I am trained (and quite good) as  Goldsmith... Loved the work but without your own tools/workshop the pay can be punishing low and this is am expensive area... 

Then I got made redundant because my boss hadn't upped his prices in years but everything was more expensive... 

Pretty small job market so I ended up in a crappy warehouse job to pay the bills... After a while I was in your position - hated what I was doing, always tired... 

So I started to think - what *can* I do? What interests me? What do I enjoy? Where are my talents? 

Well I used a computer since I was tiny, getting a computer and a "write your own games" as a sort of educational present for I think my 7th birthday... I am interested in technology, cyber security, computer forensics (all forensics actually), law, music and film... 

Well law would require a huge investment (degree alone isn't enough LPC, etc costs morey)... I'm not good enough at music to make money from it, and doubt anyone will pay me to watch films... So computers. Applied for every interesting but poorly paid job I could see - Hopefully the qualified types wouldn't apply as it wasn't paid well enough... Nothing. 

So I went to uni. Start over and f*** it. Scary as hell - my job was crappy but it paid my bills and fed me... 

You have a house and mortgage - you can sell it pay off mortgage and have savings... Try new jobs, train, go to uni, travel... Start your own business. You can do anything if you want it enough... 

What are you good at? What interests you? What are your talents? There are some HR types on this forum... Given your skills and interests they might (or might not) come up with a job you could enjoy... 

I really wish I could get back to uni. I did the wrong degree and now I don't get loans. Fair enough, to be honest! So I'm on a transferable skills type cv atm, it's a slightly odd looking cv but it's getting me interviews. 

I did chemistry,with a view to graduate medicine. I wound up chosing against medicine as I wasn't enjoying the work at the hospital so it is back to square one. 

Since, I've had some amazing work done - really special stuff, not run of the mill. My cv looks much better, and although I'm struggling to get a job right now, I'm in a far better position than I've ever been before. I've also really found the niche I'd like to settle into for now, which could send me back to university for a masters conversion. It took me over a year to get here, and I'm constantly bugging two companies in particular with my cv. Eventually, one will cave they both really like me, so I really think it's just time. 

Ultimately, I still want to be a photographer but I need a solid job for a while, build some funds and continue building my portfolio on the side. So long as I enjoy it, I'm happy. And the fact the career path I've found has real prospects (not for mega money, but good work that makes a real difference to the world) I know I'll be happy to do it.