I'm feeling lonely...

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Drew_TNBDDrew_TNBD Frets: 22445
Can I get some wisdoms please?
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  • tone1tone1 Frets: 5112
    New baby can do that... Your wife (and you) will be mega busy and maybe not have as much time for each other...then when you do sit down together your both too tired to talk..
    Early days are tough..
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  • RMJRMJ Frets: 1274
    I'll give you a wiz
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  • AlnicoAlnico Frets: 4616
    I read this, looked around me and THIS is the only thing I have to give you.
    It might give you something to use when you've got nothing else you want to do and you want some new ideas in your music.

    The Baby is like a job it's not living the way it was and it will be more like again as she gets older, but now it's just your job. There are nice moments but the shift is huge and you've just got to find something to immerse yourself in when you get time that makes you feel like this.
    A guitar helps a lot for me and always has done.

    That App I linked you to can be set to show you just about everything you want and it does tunings as well.
    I gave you a wiz.
    Try to keep smiling man.
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  • CHRISB50CHRISB50 Frets: 4290
    Wank. You know it makes sense. 

    I can't help about the shape I'm in, I can't sing I ain't pretty and my legs are thin

    But don't ask me what I think of you, I might not give the answer that you want me to

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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280
    My wife was massively into the baby phase. She loves babies. I found that bit hard work without really getting so much out of it. I was never one to just sit holding a baby and cooing at it, the one thing that most women seemed to be designed to do. I much preferred every other stage of my kids growing up. I think that one thing I possibly regret is that once our family got going I neglected most of the things I used to do with other people outside of my family. If you stop going to social stuff with other people you end up off the radar. 

    I find that life has ups and downs. Usually for me the next up is not that far away.
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  • Flink_PoydFlink_Poyd Frets: 2490
    Why is everyone assuming this is to do with  the baby? 
    Nobody is guaranteed tomorrow.....


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  • RMJRMJ Frets: 1274
    Why is everyone assuming this is to do with  the baby? 
    Yea that's what I was thinking...
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  • chillidoggychillidoggy Frets: 17136
    He's pining for @Emp_Fab


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  • BigBearKrisBigBearKris Frets: 1747
    If more wisdoms helps you - have one from me.


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  • Drew_TNBDDrew_TNBD Frets: 22445
    Aye nowt to do with anything other than me being a piss taking cockend. Nowt to see here gang!
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  • Flink_PoydFlink_Poyd Frets: 2490
    Wiz me if you think Drews a fretwhore
    Nobody is guaranteed tomorrow.....


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  • Mate, Loneliness is THE WORST. Literally the worst. Scientifically, actual loneliness is like poison. There a bunch of TED talks about how Loneliness can be deadly, I'll put links at the end of the post. They highlight how being social is a NECESSITY for health and well being.

    If you're lonely, and don't have any friends that you can call on, trust me I've been there.  Sit tight, cus here's my story :)

    Being isolated and actually alone increases your sensitivity to perceived threats to your well being, thus making it even harder to make new friends. 

    I actually designed my life in order to not have to rely on other people. I have a basic recording project studio in my flat, a weights bench so I don't have to go the gym, and I live right next door to a shop. I'm currently unemployed but aside from playing gigs and going to work, I never had to leave the house.

    My job at the time was also very isolating, Call Centre work. I did make a about 3 friends that I still speak to to this day, but in general, you are paid to pay attention to customers for 8 hours straight.

    Losing myself in videogames, youtube, overeating and other indulgences doesn't help. Maddening, frustrating cycles of escapism, regret and shame.

    Abstinence from these potential vices only helps so much. Being Social is the key, being brave enough to ask for help is a key challenge.

    I say this because I'm currently broke, unemployed and having to leave my house. Luckily I have family and friends (my band members, no less) that I reached out to who helped me find a place to stay, get a job which I start in two weeks. I am even starting a Masters degree! 

    Asking for help and admitting that I was struggling to cope eventually saved me. I still get nervous when having to be social, sometimes being unable to enter a club or shop due to anxiety. But, with social support, you go from being unwell, unsupported and unable to cope to a much sunnier perspective. It's really like magic.

    I personally love going for coffee dates with friends, or watching a movie. Even if I don't have anyone to go with, just being around other strangers in a pub or cafe takes away the edge of loneliness. I tend to take a pen and paper with me to doodle on, and I usually treat myself to a coffee and a caramel slice.

    In 2018 I will be looking to integrate more social stuff into my life. The local cinema puts on Cinema course where you watch a film and discuss with the group. I like dancing so I'll look to enrol in my unis dance classes too. They have a climbing wall as well so I can't wait to use that.

    So there you go, that's my story, what's working for me, and what didn't work. Hope that's enough wisdoms!

    Here's a link to the TED talks I was on about as well:

    This one is about the lethal danger of Lonliness:


    This one is about asking for help (by independent musician Amanda Palmer, who raised over a million dollars on KickStarter!)


    and this last one is about dream teams, how pretty much anything is possible when you form a team. The speaker is pretty lousy at telling stories BUT there is wisdom within this one, I promise:
     

    All the best Drew, let me know if any of this helps, or whether it just came across as drivel!!
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  • boogiemanboogieman Frets: 12314
    Nice sentiments and good on you for getting through things but you're kind of missing the point. Drew is known round these parts as a bit of a wind up merchant. ;)
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  • RandallFlaggRandallFlagg Frets: 13929
    Don't indulge the fool


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  • camfcamf Frets: 1190
    People are really nice sometimes. 
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  • dindudedindude Frets: 8534
    Basically, some genuine responses to a disingenuous thread. 
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  • Drew_TNBDDrew_TNBD Frets: 22445
    dindude said:
    Basically, some genuine responses to a disingenuous thread. 
    How could you even mistake it for a genuine one?!
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  • dindudedindude Frets: 8534
    Drew_TNBD said:
    dindude said:
    Basically, some genuine responses to a disingenuous thread. 
    How could you even mistake it for a genuine one?!
    I didn't. Some people did.
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  • mike_lmike_l Frets: 5700
    Wiz me if you think Drews a whore
    fixed.

    Ringleader of the Cambridge cartel, pedal champ and king of the dirt boxes (down to 21) 

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  • tone1tone1 Frets: 5112
    dindude said:
    Drew_TNBD said:
    dindude said:
    Basically, some genuine responses to a disingenuous thread. 
    How could you even mistake it for a genuine one?!
    I didn't. Some people did.
    I did....but it was late and I'd had some Red wine and I must of let my guard down....that's my excuse... B)
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