Bah! Band given me the boot

EricTheWeary

Cirrus said:

The thing you have to realise is most musicians are in some way socially deficient, snivelling cowards who will always take the easy way out. The vast majority are also stupid.

I include myself in the above. You've just got to realise it, and appreciate the times it all actually comes together despite the best efforts on the part of the musicians to fuck it up.

It's just the downside to dealing with musicians. And it's why I'm in a band with a computer programmer, a business man and a van driver - it's easy when I'm the only arty twat.

But - even people who function perfectly well in other aspects of their lives seem to have decided that massive selfish twat is the way to go in a band situation. The aformentioned optician, schoolteacher, computer programmer, brickie, policeman, all sorts.
~X(

randomhandclaps

So are we agreed, as a music based forum, that fundamentally all musicians are twats?

Cirrus

randomhandclaps said:

So are we agreed, as a music based forum, that fundamentally all musicians are twats?

I'm prepared to stand up and be counted here.

JAYJO

indeed  im guilty!    I told the richest member of our gang he could sing so he would buy a PA system. He tried singing like Suggs to Elo tracks. After we all pissed ourselves laughing we all took turns hogging the mike, turns out none of us could sing but only one of us was out of pocket.

mike_l

randomhandclaps said:

So are we agreed, as a music based forum, that fundamentally all musicians are twats?

I refuse to be called a musician. Still a twat though. :-?

GIJoe

octatonic said:

Also, giving people lifts all the time drains band members.

It is always better if people can organise their own transport and be on time with it.

Sorry to hear you've been ousted though- make sure you find something else soon.

I seriously doubt that's why - why not just say get your own lift

This thread seems to be gaining momentum though.

octatonic

GIJoe said:

octatonic said:

Also, giving people lifts all the time drains band members.

It is always better if people can organise their own transport and be on time with it.

Sorry to hear you've been ousted though- make sure you find something else soon.

I seriously doubt that's why - why not just say get your own lift

This thread seems to be gaining momentum though.

It may not be in your case but I was fired for a band way back in 1995 and the reason was given was a change of direction.

The bassist confided in me later than he was also sick of giving me lifts.

It might not be the only reason but it could be a factor.

Or not.

Handsome_Chris

octatonic said:

GIJoe said:

octatonic said:

Also, giving people lifts all the time drains band members.

It is always better if people can organise their own transport and be on time with it.

Sorry to hear you've been ousted though- make sure you find something else soon.

I seriously doubt that's why - why not just say get your own lift

This thread seems to be gaining momentum though.

It may not be in your case but I was fired for a band way back in 1995 and the reason was given was a change of direction.

The bassist confided in me later than he was also sick of giving me lifts.

It might not be the only reason but it could be a factor.

Or not.

I have to agree with @Octatonic here.  Non drivers can be a source of piss taking without even knowing they are doing it. While this is itself not a major problem, it can certainly work against you when you are in competition with driving musos.

In future would it be possible to be dropped off at band practice by your mum or dad?

ThePrettyDamned

mike_l said:

randomhandclaps said:

So are we agreed, as a music based forum, that fundamentally all musicians are twats?

I refuse to be called a musician. Still a twat though. :-?

Took the words from my mouth.

GIJoe

Handsome_Chris said:

octatonic said:

GIJoe said:

octatonic said:

Also, giving people lifts all the time drains band members.

It is always better if people can organise their own transport and be on time with it.

Sorry to hear you've been ousted though- make sure you find something else soon.

I seriously doubt that's why - why not just say get your own lift

This thread seems to be gaining momentum though.

It may not be in your case but I was fired for a band way back in 1995 and the reason was given was a change of direction.

The bassist confided in me later than he was also sick of giving me lifts.

It might not be the only reason but it could be a factor.

Or not.

I have to agree with @Octatonic here.  Non drivers can be a source of piss taking without even knowing they are doing it. While this is itself not a major problem, it can certainly work against you when you are in competition with driving musos.

In future would it be possible to be dropped off at band practice by your mum or dad?

No.  This could be a factor, but to get another guitarist then shove me out without any warning is a bit off.

GIJoe

Handsome_Chris said:

octatonic said:

GIJoe said:

octatonic said:

Also, giving people lifts all the time drains band members.

It is always better if people can organise their own transport and be on time with it.

Sorry to hear you've been ousted though- make sure you find something else soon.

I seriously doubt that's why - why not just say get your own lift

This thread seems to be gaining momentum though.

It may not be in your case but I was fired for a band way back in 1995 and the reason was given was a change of direction.

The bassist confided in me later than he was also sick of giving me lifts.

It might not be the only reason but it could be a factor.

Or not.

I have to agree with @Octatonic here.  Non drivers can be a source of piss taking without even knowing they are doing it. While this is itself not a major problem, it can certainly work against you when you are in competition with driving musos.

In future would it be possible to be dropped off at band practice by your mum or dad?

No.  This could be a factor, but to get another guitarist then shove me out without any warning is a bit off.

octatonic

That is how bands work- not sure how old you are or how much gigging you've done but get used to this sort of thing.

I've seen it happen all the time and a lot, lot worse than that.

Ché

Sorry to hear that bro, could work in your favour though.

It's hard to find a group where you all gel and have a democracy. There's always some-one with some megalomania, not all bad, a good source of inertia for the band but sometimes they have their own master plan for the band which you don't fit it.

I joined a band a year or so back which I'm still in and love but I've had to fight my corner a lot. They're used to having guitarist who just play what they are told to play and that's that. I'm a lot more creative and strong minded which can cause clashes but it's healthy. Rather than arguing about different parts in the song it becomes a fight to improve the song because we're so passionate about it. 

I think it depends how far your strayed from the base line. I have a few solos and melodic riffs in verses but I know when I'm overplaying and when what I'm playing is counteractive to the groove. Most of the time it gets ironed out in practices which is the key thing...it's all about communication of peoples opinions, once you have a healthy mechanism for that it makes everything a lot easier to deal with. When it comes to playing live I improvise but I see the band as a sum of it's parts, it's everything and everyone working together that makes it.

Think of it this way, throw 4 random people together off the street and get them to work together for hours at a time, travel to get there, for no pay and tell them whatever they come up with will be put on public display and judged and you are all accountable...

Being in a band is harder than it seems... you can't gel with everyone so take it on the chin and get posting those classifieds!

Handsome_Chris

@Ché, wise words.

koneguitarist

I have been sacked once, or replaced by a keyboard player, I was bassist. Pisses you off, but move on.

I left a band once, and tried to do it on good terms, which can also be difficult.

Other guitarist of the band came down and asked me to reconsider etc etc, I said no, nothing personal but its time to move on blah blah , but he kept on an on, and eventually I had to tell him, sorry mate its YOUR guitar playing that's the problem, when he asked what was wrong I said just two things, your lead playing and your rhythm playing !!! Stopped asking anymore after that !

close2u

That sucks.

I was once sacked from my own band .. by email.

JayGee

close2u said:

That sucks.

I was once sacked from my own band .. by email.

That's the thing, it's less about what's done than the way it's done. If someone doesn't want to play with me anymore then that's fine - if they aren't enjoying it then sooner or later I won't be and I'm perfectly happy[1] to accept that, shake hands, wish them well, and move on. 

But all the pantomime, melodrama, backstabbing, discourtesy, and outright lies that all too often seems to go with a band breaking up or parting company with a member? Bollocks to that, I left school some time ago and grew out of silly playground games about who's friends with who and who's in which gang long before that...

[1] Well, not happy exactly but certainly capable of accepting reality, taking it on the chin, retaining a sense of proportion and walking away while everybody retains a bit of dignity.

Rocker

However difficult it is, send each of the band members a good wishes text and let one of them know you are available for a gig if needed. You might end up poaching one or more of the band members for your own group soon. You now know what is required in a gigging band so maintain your fitness level ie practice those songs as if you were preparing for a gig in two weeks time. And learn some new stuff too.

EdGrip

I've never been in a band. I love jamming with my mates but the idea of turning up to a village hall to meet a band who want a "guitarist" (I'm not, I just play guitar) turns my stomach with fear.

So, kudos to you for getting that far. Rejection hurts, whatever the form, but the key is to just shrug it off and move on to the next thing. And then later, when it's not so raw a wound, have a think about whether they had a point and if you can do anything about it in a way that makes you a better version of you and not a shitter version. (This part only works if they have bothered to give you an actual real reason for kicking you out).

midiglitch

I've been fired from a band and I've been the one doing the firing. To me this conversation should always be done face to face. People deserve that. Sadly I was ditched by email and I just thought it was such a gutless move.

Still, as @rocker says, i tried to be gracious, wish the rest of the band well and let them know I was available for gigs if needed.  My thinking was that they might be gutless twats, but I'm not lowering myself to that level.  That felt good and I'd recommend it.

I do agree with other posters that have mentioned how giving someone lifts can become a disproportionate drain on the driver.  I've been there and It can very quickly feel like you're being taken for granted, particularly if there are no genuine gestures of thanks such as offering fuel money or at least a pint every now and then.

I hope you manage to stay mates and something better comes along.  Obviously it depends on the music and the band philosophy but lead guitarists not being consistent can be annoying for the other band members -I've been guilty of that in the past and although I was having fun the gigs weren't as good as they could have been.  We talked it through and I addressed the issue and the gigs are better for it.  So I guess what I'm saying is that how much freedom you have is a band choice first and foremost