You know you are posh when...

RandallFlagg

You pronounce 'Ascot" as "Aascut"

You use 2 adjectives, one bad followed by good, to describe people and things: "I say, that young filly is frightfully pretty" "Roger was damned brave when he was paying polo"

Funkfingers

Sounds like something from the Uxbridge English Dictionary game on I'm Sorry, I Haven't A Clue. One of my favourite definitions was provided by the late, great William Rushton.

Crèche - a motoring accident in Woking.

EricTheWeary

There’s a line, IIRC, in the novel Notes on a Scandal which is something like ‘ she was too posh to know what a three piece suite was’ which seemed about right to me. 

Three Piece Suite sounds like an indie band now I look at it. 

Nitefly

Sex - what they deliver coal in, in Edinburgh.

simonk

EricTheWeary said:

Three Piece Suite sounds like an indie band now I look at it. 

AlexC

I don't understand this thread. And my Butler doesn't understand it either.

Sporky

When you have a preferred brand of brioche, and a favourite way of cooking swan.

goldtop

When, without any embarrassment and with full eye contact, you can ask the staff at John Lewis if they have a special type of spoon for taking olives out of the jar without also getting any of the liquid.

(I'm working up to it; still practicing in the mirror at the moment.)

JezWynd

goldtop said:

When, without any embarrassment and with full eye contact, you can ask the staff at John Lewis if they have a special type of spoon for taking olives out of the jar without also getting any of the liquid.

(I'm working up to it; still practicing in the mirror at the moment.)

or you could just ask for a slotted spoon (saves any embarrassment).

scrumhalf

AlexC said:

I don't understand this thread. And my Butler doesn't understand it either.

Ask the footman.

Dominic

When social etiquette permits you to introduce yourself by Title and not name ;
i.e. Gloucester , Hereford , Marlborough
You DONT use the first bit e.g. Duke of or Marquis of etc etc
That's properly posh.

Dominic

When your furniture belonged to your great grandparents......
I always remember a very posh titled old lady I know describing some "quite ghastly " people who had "probably bought their own furniture " !
 She had a photo on her mantelpiece of her and her late husband (An Admiral ) sitting close to The Queen and Prince Philip at their wedding........."Phil the Greek "she called him and ...."that mean bastard never did give us a gift when they came to our wedding "!

proggy

When you get out of the bath to have a piss.

57Deluxe

you have your cake on a Cake Stand...

grungebob

If you don’t be have to double up your toilet paper. 

RaymondLin

Dominic said:

When social etiquette permits you to introduce yourself by Title and not name ;
i.e. Gloucester , Hereford , Marlborough
You DONT use the first bit e.g. Duke of or Marquis of etc etc
That's properly posh.

I live in Hereford and I am far from posh...

Funkfingers

The downside to all of this landed/wealthy existence is that you can never be entirely certain whether other people genuinely like you for the person that you are, they are being pleasant because etiquette requires it or they are shamelessly after your money?

Most of the human race is, indeed, "quite ghastly".

The "bought his own furniture" put-down is usually attributed to an Alan Clark diary entry about Michael Heseltine. The attitude goes back centuries. 

goldtop said:

I'm working up to it; still practicing in the mirror at the moment.

Try channelling your inner Dame Edith Evans as Lady Bracknell in The Importance Of Being Earnest. What could possibly go wrong? Worst case scenario, you leave the John Lewis store with a haaaandbaaaaaaaaaag.

Dominic

RaymondLin said:

Dominic said:

When social etiquette permits you to introduce yourself by Title and not name ;
i.e. Gloucester , Hereford , Marlborough
You DONT use the first bit e.g. Duke of or Marquis of etc etc
That's properly posh.

I live in Hereford and I am far from posh...

Yes but you're not the Duke of it ...........or perhaps you are FAIK

goldtop

JezWynd said:

goldtop said:

When, without any embarrassment and with full eye contact, you can ask the staff at John Lewis if they have a special type of spoon for taking olives out of the jar without also getting any of the liquid.

(I'm working up to it; still practicing in the mirror at the moment.)

or you could just ask for a slotted spoon (saves any embarrassment).

See, it seems so simple when you say it like that. If they do small sizes, I'm sorted.

chillidoggy

.......when you’re part of RandallFlagg’s circle of friends.

HAL9000

...when, after having been a member of a successful girl group, you wake up next to David Beckham.