Bad gig experiences...

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  • CirrusCirrus Frets: 3520
    Oh, there was that one out the back of a terrible pub in Digbeth where we realised as we were due to start playing that it was a gig for a militant communist organisation. They were all there in combats, mostly for the free soup. The sound guy was literally deaf; our entire set was buoyed up by pillows of bassy feedback washing in and out. It rained, and we had to put our amps in certain positions to avoid the streams of water coming through the canopy above.

    There was an aggressive dog that wanted to kill us.

    Half a dozen friends came to see us, but the pub took their money and sent them upstairs to where a different band were playing, so they thought they were at the wrong venue and went home.

    Afterwards, the pub turned all the lights off so we had to cart our gear in pitch darkness down a dogshit filled alley at the side.
    Captain Horizon (my old band);
    Very (!) Occasional Blog
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  • mr-macmr-mac Frets: 196
    Coulda been worse @Cirrus coulda found out too late you were playing for Conservatives 
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  • Danny1969Danny1969 Frets: 3577
    I lost my trousers on the way to a gig once ..... I was in the building trade and most of my clothes were covered in paint \ gripfill \ mastic etc apart from 2 pairs of jeans I kept pristine for gigs. Coming home one Friday night from London I race indoors and sit in the bath eating my dinner while the bass player warms the van up outside. It's 6 o'clock, I live in Portsmouth and we need to be at the Worthing gig by 6:30. So I get out the bath and disaster ! ..... both good pairs of jeans are washed but neither are dry!! 
    Times not on our side so I think fuck it I'll get in the van in my boxers  and hang em out the window to dry on the way to the gig. This was actually working out pretty well until I thought it was safe to jam em in the window so I could roll a fag. Unfortunately the window let me down and doing 70mph up the A27 Chichester bypass my jeans vanished from the window into the night !

    I ended up doing the gig in a pair of the sound guys old jeans which had been abandoned in the van because he had been sick on them .... they were several sizes too big and smelt like a bag of arsehole :)
    www.2020studios.co.uk 
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  • AlexCAlexC Frets: 1352
    edited May 16
    @Danny1969 “I lost my trousers on the way to a gig once...” Is your name Robin Askwith, per chance? Confessions Of Rock Band! 
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  • Panama_Jack666Panama_Jack666 Frets: 2563
    Danny1969 said:
    I lost my trousers on the way to a gig once ..... I was in the building trade and most of my clothes were covered in paint \ gripfill \ mastic etc apart from 2 pairs of jeans I kept pristine for gigs. Coming home one Friday night from London I race indoors and sit in the bath eating my dinner while the bass player warms the van up outside. It's 6 o'clock, I live in Portsmouth and we need to be at the Worthing gig by 6:30. So I get out the bath and disaster ! ..... both good pairs of jeans are washed but neither are dry!! 
    Times not on our side so I think fuck it I'll get in the van in my boxers  and hang em out the window to dry on the way to the gig. This was actually working out pretty well until I thought it was safe to jam em in the window so I could roll a fag. Unfortunately the window let me down and doing 70mph up the A27 Chichester bypass my jeans vanished from the window into the night !

    I ended up doing the gig in a pair of the sound guys old jeans which had been abandoned in the van because he had been sick on them .... they were several sizes too big and smelt like a bag of arsehole :)
    Amazing!
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  • mudslide73mudslide73 Frets: 1679
    Our singer had a trouser malfunction and had to use a bungee to hold them up. They kept boinging up and down. He managed to fit a couple of Jagger "My trousers keep falling down" quips in.

    I lost the power to my pedalboard halfway through Hard to Handle due to the bass player kicking my adaptors off the side of the stage. I was on my hands and knees de bugging the problem when my pint got knocked over and my legs got soaked in lager. I stank of yeast and beer.

    At the same venue (outdoors) we had some pissed lads stood on the beer garden wall jump down and dent our drummer's car bonnet on the other side. It had to be a 6ft drop. We didn't realise it had happened until we packed the cars up.

    Our drummer left his van parked blocking a taxi rank and had to run out to move it mid gig. Luckily this only took 5 mins but the police were not impressed. 




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  • HHwarnerHHwarner Frets: 71
    we did a gig in pontadawe and there was dog shit on the stage! 
    Iv had cat shit on stage, Dragged my cab wheels through it and an amp flight case.
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  • Paul_CPaul_C Frets: 4303

    Regarding the driving to a gig stories, I once agreed to take a mate's band from Northampton to The Clarendon (Hammersmith Broadway) for a gig, as I worked for Kenning Car Hire at the time and I managed to borrow a minibus for the night.

    I had to pick it up from a local garage who did lots of repairs for us because the last person to hire it (probably Motorway Maintenance) had wrecked the clutch. I was told to tell my boss "it's working, but only just, if it breaks again it'll need a whole new clutch".

    Having loaded the band and gear into the bus we set off, and the clutch packed up before we'd even left town. . . but as the bus was still driveable I decided it would be a laugh to carry on (I was 19 ;) ) so we did. The motorway was fine (changing gear was a matter of revving the engine a little and holding the gear lever until it dropped into gear, so wasn't too bad).

    The hardest bit of the journey was getting round the North Circular in rush hour - every set of lights on red was approached slowly in the hope they'd change by the time we got there. We only had to stop once, which, after stalling, involved putting it in first and starting it in gear to get moving again.

    Having got the van unloaded it was dumped down the side of the pub until after the gig (which still pains me as I stayed with my mates instead of watching The Ramones upstairs). Once they'd finished I had to jump in the bus and get someone to stop the traffic while I reversed out on the starter motor.

    We got back out of London without drama and the only other problem was that it started raining on the M1 and a couple of times the wipers and lights cut out completely (I kept going), fortunately not for long ;)

    We made it back and I left the bus outside the garage, so it could have a new clutch fitted.
    CEO ACME Moats Inc.
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  • BridgehouseBridgehouse Frets: 15712
    As a youthful student at uni, an older mate of mine in our band used to pick up odd bits of work from other guys he knew. 

    He popped over one night and asked me what I was up to on Saturday night. “Not much” I said - “Good, then we are running a karaoke gig 75 miles away”

    Saturday came, and we headed over to run the karaoke night in the dodgiest pub I’ve been in for some time. 

    I ended up singing “ooh aaah just a little bit” as a warm up to the two people who showed up.

    Just as we were getting bored, about 50 people seemed to show up out of nowhere - they didn’t want to sing, they came to see the local hero. He turned up 10 mins later dressed as Elvis and looking like Les Dawson in drag. He did a dozen Elvis numbers and then we headed home... sheesh!
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  • bigjonbigjon Frets: 632
    Panama_Jack666 said:
    Someone on here has a great bad gig story... I seem to recall someone didn't like the UB40 song they were playing so pulled a gun on the band and told them to stop. 

    Whoever it is, make yourself known and correct/validate the story pleaseeeee! It's my favourite! 
    That was @viz IIRC
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  • vizviz Frets: 4950
    edited May 17
    bigjon said:
    Panama_Jack666 said:
    Someone on here has a great bad gig story... I seem to recall someone didn't like the UB40 song they were playing so pulled a gun on the band and told them to stop. 

    Whoever it is, make yourself known and correct/validate the story pleaseeeee! It's my favourite! 
    That was @viz IIRC
    Yep! But what happened was the gunman didn’t like the Van Halen song we were doing so we immediately switched to UB40, and in fact we rolled off four UB40 songs on the trot just to make sure. 
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  • FarleyUKFarleyUK Frets: 422
    I had an old thread on this with the video as proof.... but there was a certain venue in Hemel we used to play, and every night there would be a huge fight during the third set. Second to last time we played there, a guy came running in the first song, stood by the PA speaker in front of me, started to jump.... and pushed the PA speaker over onto me, the guitar etc.

    Made for a great clip, but my God what a c0ck-womble.

    Thank God we don't play there anymore, was a real chickenwire place.
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  • Panama_Jack666Panama_Jack666 Frets: 2563
    viz said:
    bigjon said:
    Panama_Jack666 said:
    Someone on here has a great bad gig story... I seem to recall someone didn't like the UB40 song they were playing so pulled a gun on the band and told them to stop. 

    Whoever it is, make yourself known and correct/validate the story pleaseeeee! It's my favourite! 
    That was @viz IIRC
    Yep! But what happened was the gunman didn’t like the Van Halen song we were doing so we immediately switched to UB40, and in fact we rolled off four UB40 songs on the trot just to make sure. 
    I didn't realise it was you @viz ;

    I bet you have loads of ace stories. We need a pint one day ;)
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  • peteripeteri Frets: 855

    Haven't gigged enough to have any of these magnificent stories, but if I could share someone elses.

    My best friend from school had a big Irish family on one side, all lovely people - but solid farmer stock.

    At his wedding reception, we arrived at the local village hall to hear what can only be described as the loudest disco I've ever heard, the DJ they hired clearly had delusions of 'Fat Boy Slim' and was playing so loud it was uncomfortable in the car park.

    Walked in to find a lot of his Irish relatives sitting at one end, arms folded with a clear 'this would never happen back home' look on their faces.

    The father of my friend, as wide as tall and former tug of war champ had been quietly and not so quietly criticised by his mum all day for it not being a Catholic wedding - goes and asks the DJ 'can you turn it down?'. DJ, clearly not recognising who was in front of him (a man on the edge, who was also paying his fee) - replied 'F**k off, it's my music'.

    Recognising the moment for conversation was over, the father threw a frankly impressive straight right, spread the guys nose all over his face and then turned all the knobs down to zero, and snapped them off.

    Suspect that was the DJs worse gig!

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  • vizviz Frets: 4950
    viz said:
    bigjon said:
    Panama_Jack666 said:
    Someone on here has a great bad gig story... I seem to recall someone didn't like the UB40 song they were playing so pulled a gun on the band and told them to stop. 

    Whoever it is, make yourself known and correct/validate the story pleaseeeee! It's my favourite! 
    That was @viz IIRC
    Yep! But what happened was the gunman didn’t like the Van Halen song we were doing so we immediately switched to UB40, and in fact we rolled off four UB40 songs on the trot just to make sure. 
    I didn't realise it was you @viz ;

    I bet you have loads of ace stories. We need a pint one day ;)
    Yep! 

    The funniest one was when we did our pre-gig ritual of having a huddle, downing a vodka, getting on stage, starting the intro to the first song which had the instruments coming in one-by-one, then I noticed a commotion at the back of the audience, someone was making his way to the front, waving his hand and pulling up his trousers - it was our keyboard player. 
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  • HaychHaych Frets: 526
    Not had that many bad gigs to be fair, but then probably not had many gigs compared to most people.

    The most awful onstage moment was when supporting a band who provided the PA but who didn't have any on-stage monitoring.  All was ok until the one song where we used a drum machine (I can't remember why and it was a stupid idea I thought since we had a competent drummer, I think it was the singer's idea) and none of us could hear it!  We had a vague echo of the FOH mix bouncing off the back wall of the venue so timing was truly abysmal.  It was definitely one of those "please let this song end soon" moments.

    After the gig I packed the car and was waiting for the other guys so we could clear off and I got cornered by the village nutter.  The village nutter on this occasion was female, barking mad and who, for some reason, wanted to pull yours truly.  Within half an hour I'd met her entire family (who were also nutters), learned about her family history and she'd also told me all about her favourite subject - the WWII holocaust!  There were tyres squealing out the car park that night!


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  • paulnb57paulnb57 Frets: 1176
    edited May 17
    Some years ago I played Bass in a Rock Blues covers band around Cambs...anyroadup we got a short notice gig as a band had cancelled at the Dragonfly pub in Peterborough, which had a reputation for being a bit ruff, so we rock up and no-one has told the punters that Platfrom 4, the glam rock covers band are not coming, the punters know the band members and are not happy it's us....we are approached by a short tattooed woman, with a shoulder hump (really!) and many tattoos and a mini skirt that would make a belt look wide, who declares, "you'd better be fucking good".......we exchange nervous glances and launch into our first number, finish and the crowd just stood there and looked at us, no clapping...nothing......shitting it into the second number, I think it was Money for Nothing, we finish and one person slow clapped.....into paid practice mode and battle on, wondering if we will be lynched.......at the end of th first set there were folk up dancing and by the end of play, the lass with the hump wanted photos and autographs! Funny old world, gigging........we were even asked back...we declined.....
    Stranger from another planet welcome to our hole - Just strap on your guitar and we'll play some rock 'n' roll

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  • StageStruckStageStruck Frets: 76
    Took a last minute gig on a cancellation booking in a boozer on a housing estate. Turned up, the lassie behind the bar had no idea we'd been booked to play and reluctantly told the folks on the pool table to finish up. The audience at the start of the show consisted of a table of 6 coke-heads who were bailing out to hit the nightclubs in the town centre and a few punters at the bar. Two songs in and the coke-heads have disappeared leaving around 6 disinterested folks at the bar who were more interested in the football scores on Sky Sports. After the end of the first set (booked for 3 sets, 9-12), the lass behind the bar asked us when we were going to be finished as she was going to shut the pub early. We got paid no problem which took the sting off it!

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  • ricorico Frets: 880
    Our singer has a thing for having tins of Stella on stage and at three of six gigs over the last month or so has knocked said cans over and made us look like right fools. The last gig even saw the manager come out with a mop and bucket to clean up mid set. She did not look happy. 

    We played a gig mid week in a decent little venue in Deptford but the promoter had booked us on a bill with an Aussie indie pop group and a French screamo punk band. We knew what we were getting into but the other two bands were more than a little pissed off having travelled halfway round the world for £50. 
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  • TrudeTrude Frets: 321
    I remember playing an Elvis tribute gig in Wales.  After an interminably long drive, we set up in front of a couple of hundred Welsh Rockabilly fans, and did our thing for 90 minutes or so.  It wasn't bad, but the quote of the evening that stayed with me was (in an endearingly lilting Welsh accent) - "Yeah, you were quite good, boys.  Bit too much Elvis for me though, see?"
    Trading feedback here
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  • deloreandelorean Frets: 66

    Apologies for the long post

    TL;DR - played a sh*t venue, no one turned up and management were f*cktards


    Fortunately after many years of extremely hard slogging, our band now has a great following and plays to full venues every gig these days - but it wasn’t always like that! 

     

    About 7 or 8 years ago, my current band were booked to play at a nightclub in Chalfont Saint Peter - way out of our usual catchment area, but we were assured that they had a great rep for live music nights and a strong regular crowd.

     

    So we duly roll up at about 7pm as requested, and the place is locked with no one in sight to ask.

    We had only been given a landline number for the club which wasn’t picking up as no one was in. 

     

    The club is in the absolute middle of nowhere (bordered on one side by fields and a golf course, and the other side by a residential estate).  Alarm bells immediately started ringing – how the hell would punters get here from the main town?  There was no hope of passing foot traffic, and the nearest hub of civilization was a few miles down the road.  Anyway, we put that thought to one side as it was cold and we were too busy feeling irritated by the fact we couldn’t get in.

     

    After 45mins of waiting, someone turns up to open the doors – no apology.  We load in and get on with the setup.

     

    An hour or so later and we’re good to go.  We were booked to start playing at 10pm, so had a thorough soundcheck and a drink while we waited. 

     

    At 9:50pm, I went to locate the manager to let him know we were good to start.  He was nowhere to be found, and the barstaff couldn’t tell me where he was either.  They also couldn’t tell me whether it was ok to cut the house music without speaking to the manager for his permission.

     

    So, I went on a wander around the venue trying every door in an effort to find him.  Finally, and out of frustration I burst through a door marked “private” to find him in a darkened room, surrounded by half-crushed cans of lager, sprawled across a sofa, in boxers and a grubby string vest which was (and I sh*t you not) pulled up to his armpits, softly rubbing his hairy, exposed belly and breathing wheezily whilst watching the cinematic masterpiece that is Aliens vs Predator…

     

    He seemed annoyed at my interruption, even after explaining to him that it was now 10pm and we were due to start but none of his staff had permission to cut the house music.

     

    Instead, he told me that he’d like us to wait until the movie was over…at 11:30pm  I explained we were booked to start at 10pm, and his response was “if you want to get paid, you’ll start at 11:30pm”, before turning back to the TV.

     

    I went back to relay this to the band and as you can imagine we were all a bit ‘miffed’.

     

    I should add that it was now about 10:20pm and the only people in the building, were the bar staff, the band, the drummer’s wife and of course, Rab C Nesbitt out the back watching AvP… So much for this strong regular crowd.

     

    Anyway, at 11:30pm, there’s still no sign of Rab, so I go out back to find him dozing on the sofa. Managed to wake him up and we finally get the go-ahead to start playing, to our drummer’s wife and the bar staff.

     

    At the halfway mark, during our break, a troop of about 15 young ladies enter the building seemingly from out of nowhere, and start dancing to the rock music being pumped out of our PA – excellent, we thought - and just as we were getting ready to go back on with our set of rock! 

     

    However, for whatever reason, the club then decided to put on their own music (some sort of hard trance type stuff), drowning ours out – the bevy of rock chicks vanished in less than a minute…

     

    So we played the 2nd half to the drummer’s wife and the bar staff.

     

    When we had finished they had the gall to try and get out of paying us by saying we didn’t bring anyone along… Needless to say we told them exactly what we thought of that, and ended up getting what we were owed, plus a little extra on top – so whilst not a complete disaster, it came pretty close.

     

     

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  • ESBlondeESBlonde Frets: 2372
    There is/was a famous hotel In Ipswich called the Great White Horse and it had connections to Charles Dickens. Anyway it's the early 80s and we got booked to play a Divorced and Seperated club event. Well I was young and nieve shal we say. Anyway to access the 'function room' at the top of this old building we had to use the wet external cast iron fire escape up two floors, then trundle along narrow corridors with occasional steps up and down and odd corners to the room. In those days little combos were not the order of the day so we were knackerred before we started.
    The organisers had us playing from about 8pm to no one, then about 10:30 lots of people all turned up and the dancing ensued. 40 miniuts later they had all paired off and gone leaving us to play until midnight and then to reverse the load in, this time down a wet, unlit cast iron fire escape.
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  • pintspillerpintspiller Frets: 548
    Usually rehearsals are fine. But every song is fucked up in some way at every gig. Either nerves/excitement kick in and parts are missed, tempo is way off, played in wrong key, the set is changed on the fly, people don't listen to the original, a song is selected that we haven't rehearsed in ages.
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  • vizviz Frets: 4950
    Usually rehearsals are fine. But every song is fucked up in some way at every gig. Either nerves/excitement kick in and parts are missed, tempo is way off, played in wrong key, the set is changed on the fly, people don't listen to the original, a song is selected that we haven't rehearsed in ages.
    Lol that actually sounds like quite a fun band to be in!
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  • pintspillerpintspiller Frets: 548
    The band that kept me on my toes most was one where the vocalist/guitarist who changed the arrangement every night, but always claimed it was exactly the same as the record
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  • Placidcasual79Placidcasual79 Frets: 684
    Quality thread - my own contribution is small in comparison...

    I play in a 9 piece ska band - we do a lot of gigs for the mod/scooter crowd - for gigs we dress the part - in mod gear etc... 

    So when we were booked to play a 'rally' in a town I wont mention we assumed it'd be the usual scooter rally....

    We arrive at the gig - the car park, beer garden and venue are entirely mobbed by bikers in full leathers all bearing the name and logo of two specific biker gangs (known in the area for their involvement in 'colourful activities').....

    We get inside the venue thinking whats going on - and sure enough there is a rock/metal band setting up on stage. Fair enough - a mistake has been made - no harm done - some petrol money (please) and we'll be on our way - no says the organiser - your the band we want - the 'committee' met and decided we wanted a Ska band.... so the other band were sent on there way (and where very good about it - turns out they'd been canceled anyway).....

    So we reluctantly set up thinking we were in the wrong gig and about to be lynched for being the least rock n roll band in the world....

    Proves how wrong you can be and that you shouldn't judge a book! Turned out to be a brilliant night - brilliant crowd - well up for it - dancing all night and getting involved and made plenty of new mates!
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  • DefaultMDefaultM Frets: 1924
    We were booked to play a wedding in a tent in the middle of a field. It was requested that we get there in the morning to set up, drive home again, then go back at night to play. 

    Got there in the morning and it was pissing it down. We were warned that when coming back later we should drive quite far up the road before turning on to the field, as the first part would be like a swamp and the cars would get stuck.

    So I travelled back in the evening, drove off the road and on to the field exactly where I'd been told not to, and my car was sucked down about half way up the wheels.

    I had to boot the door and squeeze through to get out, just in time to see the rest of the band appear.
    They parked up (where told and without incident) and tried to help push it out but it wouldn't shift an inch.

    A few hours later a farmer appears. 

    "Do you want me to get you out?"
    "oh yes please!"

    He came back with a tractor and a rope.

    "you haven't got a tow bar"
    "oh right... No"
    "So I'm going to attach it to your bumper"
    "oh ok thanks"
    "and what are you going to do if it rips your car apart?"
    "oh... feel very silly?"
    "good lad, come on then"

    It worked fine and my 2001 Vauxhall Corsa Comfort was free.

    Went in to play the gig, first set was good and we're all laughing about earlier.

    Started the second set and by this point it's pitch black outside. A few songs in and the generator goes. We're on stage in total darkness, can't see a fucking thing but can hear 200 people in front of us squawking like headless chickens. We just had to stay completely still and wait what seemed like an age until someone figured out how to get the lights back on.

    A bit later and the groom wants to sing, so we do Mustang Sally and he's pretty good to be honest. He starts to leave the stage and we kick in to All Right Now which I've only just learned and I've really been looking forward to it. One of those songs where you glance at the set list and think "ah nice one, I get to play that soon".

    He hears me play that first chord and spins on the spot. He's over the fucking moon. The rest of the band kicks in and I can see he's back on stage, this time with the singer's guitar.

    I can't remember if he sang on that one, but he definitely nicked the solo and extended it by about 32 bars while I stood there trying to fake a smile as I slowly died inside.
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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 7193
    In The Damnbusters (6 piece ska band) we played a place in Walsall. We started the gig and about ten bikers occupied the front row, pulled up chairs, sat there with arms crossed. They didn’t move. I think I could describe it as off putting and I really wasn’t enjoying the gig.
    First set ends and the bikers walk the few feet towards us. Really enjoyed the band could we play their charity festival in August? We couldn’t make the date. 

    Quality thread - my own contribution is small in comparison...

    I play in a 9 piece ska band - we do a lot of gigs for the mod/scooter crowd - for gigs we dress the part - in mod gear etc... 

    So when we were booked to play a 'rally' in a town I wont mention we assumed it'd be the usual scooter rally....

    We arrive at the gig - the car park, beer garden and venue are entirely mobbed by bikers in full leathers all bearing the name and logo of two specific biker gangs (known in the area for their involvement in 'colourful activities').....

    We get inside the venue thinking whats going on - and sure enough there is a rock/metal band setting up on stage. Fair enough - a mistake has been made - no harm done - some petrol money (please) and we'll be on our way - no says the organiser - your the band we want - the 'committee' met and decided we wanted a Ska band.... so the other band were sent on there way (and where very good about it - turns out they'd been canceled anyway).....

    So we reluctantly set up thinking we were in the wrong gig and about to be lynched for being the least rock n roll band in the world....

    Proves how wrong you can be and that you shouldn't judge a book! Turned out to be a brilliant night - brilliant crowd - well up for it - dancing all night and getting involved and made plenty of new mates!

    Dum dum dum, dum dum de dum, dum dum dum, dum dummmm.
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  • bignormbignorm Frets: 155
    edited June 3
    I’ve been playing in bands for over 40 years now and have had more than my fair share of nightmare gigs. 
    Weddings are the worst followed by social clubs.
    The problem with weddings is you can’t please everyone coz there’s usually two or three generations there. 

    One of our recent worst gigs was when we had to set up in a rush with not enough time to sound check.
    We arrived at the venue on time but as always, the meal and speeches ran over by 2 hours so we had to sit around waiting for the room to cleared for the evening do.

    When we finally got in the room our hearts sank, it had a tiled floor, large glass windows and bifold doors, nice in the summer but it had been p!ssing down all day, so we had to play in a large airless shiny box.. as expected the front of house sound was dreadful.
    At least our IEMs wouldn’t be affected by the shite room acoustics.. Wrong the IEMs were playing up too. 
    No matter what we did the individual mix’s were terrible.
    The band has 5 individual mix’s which we control ourselves via our phones and iPads, but no matter what we did the levels were all over the place. 
    The soundman was tearing his hair out trying to figure out what the hell was going on, while wrestling with sorting the dreadful front of house sound too
    It took 5 songs to work out, the bass players DI xlr cable was knackered and one of the iem receivers was upside down so the left channel was right and right was left. 
    We soldiered on but everyone was on edge and mistakes started creeping in. I drop tune on a couple of songs and forgot to stomp on the pedal and started a song a semitone sharp.
    all in all I was glad when that one was over. 
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 13390
    edited June 3
    I used to play in a duo and we had a regular spot in the downstairs of a little cafe-bar type place.  I think the most we ever got was a dozen punters or so.  Anyway, the one night, it’s down to literally two or three people.  Halfway through the second half, a huge bloke who was playing pool upstairs comes down, cue in hand, and says “We can hear you upstairs.  Stop playing”.  The owner wasn’t there to intervene, so we thought it best to call it a night!

    In a seven piece, we were booked for a woman’s surprise 50th birthday party in a local community hall.  The place is pretty large and they’ve decked it out with bunting and banners etc.  One entire wall is filled with tables packed with a large buffet.  A couple of people drift in, we get set up and are ready to go when the birthday girl arrives,

    Shortly after, she comes in, blindfolded, and we are supposed to strike up with “Happy Birthday” as they take her blindfold off.

    Drum roll, blindfold is removed, we start Happy Birthday and she is presented with a nearly empty room.  A total of about six people had turned up!  Surprise Surprise!! - nobody likes you !  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

    We played the first half, ate all the grub in the interval, did two songs of the second half and fucked off as the inital six went down to about three!
    Birds are meant to fly free...  Open every cage you see.

    https://www.peta.org/about-peta/why-peta/caged-birds/
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