Ever had what you consider to be a life changing experience?

Musicman20

Nothing as serious as some of the brave people above, but hitting a brick wall with stress and anxiety from working in law and moving house twice (and jobs three times) in about 6-7 months. Finished me off in terms of coping. This all happened around 2 years back now.

I've always been a bit of a worrier and music and socialising stop me from doing it so much.

When it did hit, I had physical manifestations of anxiety (and these had been going on and building for about a year before) including intense dizziness. Cue worrying about health, GP appointments, thinking I had serious ilnesses, etc. Health anxiety hit me from nowhere. Had ear tests, MRI, etc. AWFUL time. Even after the tests were ok, I still worried. Then I managed to get on a good medication, very low dose (after trying all sorts) and that was it...despite the low mood I started to turn around. Within 6 months I was happy in my new job (still here now) and loved my new place in Manchester (still in the same house).

That was a very testing a difficult time. Sometimes I look back at the panic, anxiety and stress and see how it controlled me and think 'never again'.

I'm probably happier now than I've been in years. I'm much more confident. I'm providing advice (and enjoying it) to friends who are struggling with anxiety. I'm also doing more of what I want. Especially with holidays and live gigs.

zepp76

Musicman20 said:

Nothing as serious as some of the brave people above, but hitting a brick wall with stress and anxiety from working in law and moving house twice (and jobs three times) in about 6-7 months. Finished me off in terms of coping.

I've always been a bit of a worrier and music and socialising stop me from doing it so much.

When it did hit, I had physical manifestations of anxiety (and these had been going on and building for about a year before) including intense dizziness. Cue worrying about health, GP appointments, thinking I had serious ilnesses, etc. Health anxiety hit me from nowhere. Had ear tests, MRI, etc. AWFUL time. Even after the tests were ok, I still worried. Then I managed to get on a good medication, very low dose (after trying all sorts) and that was it...despite the low mood I started to turn around. Within 6 months I was happy in my new job (still here now) and loved my new place in Manchester (still in the same house).

That was a very testing a difficult time. Sometimes I look back at the panic, anxiety and stress and see how it controlled me and think 'never again'.

I'm probably happier now than I've been in years. I'm much more confident. I'm providing advice (and enjoying it) to friends who are struggling with anxiety. I'm also doing more of what I want. Especially with holidays and live gigs.

Anxiety is a horrible thing to go through, as a side effect of my illness I suffer from anxiety and depression too. All I can say is don't be afraid to talk it out either with family or a doctor. This time of year doesn't help, if I can help in any way with anyone on this forum who is suffering from mental illness I will make my phone number available by pm to anyone who wants a friendly ear over the Christmas period. It's not much help but if you are lonely, stressed and can't cope I'm there to try and help.

Sassafras

zepp76 said:

Slipping into madness and being diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic was life changing for me, thankfully after trialling different drugs I'm finally on medication that has brought some form of sanity. I still have episodes but nowhere near as severe as they used to be.

On a lighter note and as cliched as it sounds being introduced to the music of Led Zeppelin changed my life too. My mate got me stoned and said listen to this, he played No quarter and it blew me away, something inside me changed that day.

As a fellow sufferer, I wouldn't advise getting stoned. Especially not on the stronger types of weed that are around these days. They can trigger intensely unpleasant psychotic episodes.

Bucket

Probably going to sound a bit weepy, but bear with me - I suppose being bullied at secondary school did it. One or two incidents which I remember the most, I suppose would count as life-changing.

As a younger child, I remember I was confident and outgoing and never really had any problems with anyone. Almost as soon as I began secondary school, it all changed and I fell to pieces. It only took a couple of weeks for the bullying to start, and while I look back on some of it as overreaction on my part, I did have to put up with plenty of really horrible shit. As a result I became cripplingly insecure and neurotic, and I'd fly off the handle at people, even friends, for the smallest of perceived slights. My inability to deal healthily with these issues meant that I probably pushed a lot of people away, and I developed a bit of a reputation among my classmates for being grumpy and angry, as well as having a self-destructively low opinion of my own worth. I imagine a lot of people could imagine me going postal. Thankfully I am not given to mental illness or self-harm etc otherwise it could have been a lot worse, but it's safe to say the whole thing totally ruined my self-confidence, and it only started improving again once I was well away from the school - probably when I was about 19 or 20. I still struggle now and then, but thankfully it's on an upward trajectory at last.

The particular incident I remember the most was when one of the biggest bullies in the year was walking past me with a couple of his mates in tow, in a quiet corridor, and proceeded to get me in a headlock and pull my hair up out of my face so his mates could have a good old chuckle about the severe acne on my forehead. I still remember that as being the most worthless I've ever felt.

zepp76

Sassafras said:

zepp76 said:

Slipping into madness and being diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic was life changing for me, thankfully after trialling different drugs I'm finally on medication that has brought some form of sanity. I still have episodes but nowhere near as severe as they used to be.

On a lighter note and as cliched as it sounds being introduced to the music of Led Zeppelin changed my life too. My mate got me stoned and said listen to this, he played No quarter and it blew me away, something inside me changed that day.

As a fellow sufferer, I wouldn't advise getting stoned. Especially not on the stronger types of weed that are around these days. They can trigger intensely unpleasant psychotic episodes.

I don't toke anymore, it's been a long time and I don't think I'd handle the strong stuff like you say. Sorry to hear you suffer too.

rlw

Being the victim of a paedophile for several years at junior school did not change my life for the better.  Still trying to break out of all the negative feelings fifty five years later.

quarky

The birth of my first child without a doubt. There really isn't much that can prepare you for how big a change being a parent is. My daughter is now 13, so some days it doesn't seem like such a big thing, but when I think back to what life was like before, it is an enormous change.

axisus

Wow, some pretty tough stuff people have had to deal with here. My thing doesn't seem so bad in perspective.

CountryDave

Finding out my Dad had oesophagal cancer and the 3 years that followed. 

Everyone else was understandably losing it so I went into autopilot for a couple of years.  Took some control (as much as possible), going to the appointments with Mum & Dad as after the first couple they seemed not to be taking in everything that was said.  After each visit essentially had a family debrief and collated a full version from all the bits we individually picked up. Editing and sharing info with the rest of the family and fending off the questions that followed.  Drove him & Mum to the hospital for his operation, kept Mum occupied all day and made sure we were with him when he came round.

Watching it return and how quickly it took him.

It's a massive turn around to become the carer of someone who brought you up.  Also a strong realization that we come this way but once.

fnpt

Finding out that my soon has scoliosis
My wife spontaneous abortion of what would be my second son when we even didn't know she was pregnant
My mother being diagnosed with Alzheimer's
My wife being diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and dying 10 months later in November last year at age 43 leaving a 8 year old son
All in the space of 2 years.

rlw

Bucket said:

As a younger child, I remember I was confident and outgoing and never really had any problems with anyone. Almost as soon as I began secondary school, it all changed and I fell to pieces. It only took a couple of weeks for the bullying to start, and while I look back on some of it as overreaction on my part, I did have to put up with plenty of really horrible shit. As a result I became cripplingly insecure and neurotic, and I'd fly off the handle at people, even friends, for the smallest of perceived slights. My inability to deal healthily with these issues meant that I probably pushed a lot of people away, and I developed a bit of a reputation among my classmates for being grumpy and angry, as well as having a self-destructively low opinion of my own worth. I imagine a lot of people could imagine me going postal. Thankfully I am not given to mental illness or self-harm etc otherwise it could have been a lot worse, but it's safe to say the whole thing totally ruined my self-confidence, and it only started improving again once I was well away from the school - probably when I was about 19 or 20. I still struggle now and then, but thankfully it's on an upward trajectory at last.

I could have posted that. Funny thing, life........................

thomasross20

Lots more than my years would suggest but obviously Sheena passing away is the worst. Although out doing things with the girls and friends, I'm the opposite of "live life to the full" after being left without her. I want to crawl into a corner and die.

Teetonetal

The day I applied for my current job. Thanks to that, my life is more or less awesome

Neill

There's some heavy stuff on this thread and gosh just when you think you've had more than your fair share of life kicking you in the nuts someone comes along and makes you realise how lucky you are. 

Just to lighten the mood a little... my life was changed the first time a girl kissed me - properly.  Like many teenagers, until then I had always assumed girls regarded me with a sense of disgust. 

Of course the fact that I had to wait another 20 years for the next kiss is irrelevant.

 



   

EricTheWeary

I'm a bit sceptical of Eureka moments - tend to be sound bytes in interviews rather than how we live, adopt and change ( and very few things people have said on here are really tiny moments). Y'know the I saw Elvis on the telly and knew I'd be a rock star type of stuff.

But for a 'small moment but had it not happened my life might have been different' can I have two?

First, reading Virginia Ironside's agony aunt page in Woman magazine circa 1982. There was a letter from a lonely teenage boy ( not me but sounded like me) wanting to meet more people, etc. Part of the response was the idea of doing voluntary work and some contact addresses. Certainly not an idea I'd ever had and it lead, reasonably directly, to a lot of amazing experiences, meeting a lot of new people, wanting to qualify as a social worker and so on and so on.

Second, a blazing row ( about what? No idea) with my girlfriend circa 1992. We split up and she walked out and I thought I'd never see her again. Five minutes later she came back, we made up and she ( eventually) became MrsTheWeary with our two kids, mortgage, etc,etc. Notable also for being the last time she said  I wasn't solely to blame for something...

keithf

A couple, Nearly drowned at the age of 7,totally put me off swimming.

Broke a hip at 17during a motorcycle crash,resulted in me learning to play guitar

Being diagnosed at 47 with retinitis pigmentosa and being told I'm very likely to go completely blind, That did the trick,

I'm 60% nightblind and about 50% dayblind at the moment but it changes monthly.

The result being I live everyday looking at as many things as poss,hence all the changing of colourful guitars.

sounds like a moan but its not, you just play the cards you've been dealt. 

the biggest change was meeting my wife of 30 years,Some of the members here have met her and know what I'm talking about. ,easily the most fantastic human I've met. Without that chance happening I have no doubt that death would have come calling long ago due to my "lifestyle" at the time.

rlw

To my gloomy moment, I could add that changing my job and taking a big risk on doing something I knew nothing about and had no experience of, and having to learn on the job, on a self employed basis, was rash but life changing.   Took me into a whole new world where mortgages and Porsches and holidays in France were the norm.  Thank God I did it.

And meeting mrsrlw, wife of some 35 years, was significant too.

And writing off the car last year in a head on with a milk tanker, and walking away with only an airbag burn, has made me see things slightly differently too.

ourmaninthenorth

This thread is a timely reminder of the fact that one has no idea what the next person is living with or through. 

Thanks for your candour Gentleman, it's humbling. 

My own, for what it's worth - sobering up in 1996 - I've just celebrated 21 years of continuous recovery as a member of AA. 

I wasn't always this pleasant you know... hee hee.....

Paul_C

Accidentally becoming a Dad was definitely life-changing - after a few months of dealing with things poorly (in regard to my treatment of her mother) I endeavoured to make amends and we subsequently married and had another daughter.

18 months after that she left me for someone else (taking the children), came back for a week and then left again (leaving the children with me). I chose at that point to do what I thought was best for them, and became a single parent on benefits (no local support available to allow me to work (and no free childcare in those days) as both sets of grandparents lived too far away) for the next 8 years (before funds from a relative's will allowed me to start arrowheadguitars).

Having survived that I took a chance a few years ago to have a second go at having a family, and now have a four-year old daughter to add to my 25 and 28 year old versions. Sadly, despite my best efforts things went weird before she reached her first birthday and my now ex-partner carried on living here for two years without saying a word to me unless she had to, and then moved 40 mins away a year and a half ago. I see my daughter on weekends and we have a huge amount of fun, but pretty much every hour of every day is tinged with sadness, at best.

I'm slowly working down from a ridiculous amount of anti-depressants with the aim of coping without them sometime next year, but I'm absolutely certain that my life is not going to bounce all the way back from this.

darthed1981

ICBM said:

Had kids.

That really does change things!

Yeah, this one for me as well.