Irritating song lyrics

Neill

On another thread that "Combine Harvester" song by the Wurzels came up.

Ever since I first heard that song it has annoyed me, not because it's a crap song but because of the lyric "I got twenty acres and you got forty three".  Well that's not a farm it's more like a smallholding and certainly wouldn't justify the purchase of a combine harvester costing well into six figures.  It's an insult to the intelligence.

There are others in similar vein.  The David Gates son "If" (a picture paints a thousand words etc) contains the line "If a man could be two places at one time, I'd be with you tomorrow and today"  Well that's not two places at one time it's two times at one place, i can't believe he's got away with this for so many years.

The worse one of all is of course "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight".  Every schoolboy knows lions don't live in the jungle and even if they did, like all cats they sleep in the day. 

"There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas" is making some dodgy assumptions as well.

Finally, tomorrow night some folk will insist on singing "For the sake of auld lang syne" completely ruining the evening.

(Actually there are quite a few more but I think I'd better leave it there.)

 

hywelg

"Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak
Somewhere in this town"

Hmm Sherlock, whereabouts in the town I wonder??

richardhomer

Pseudo-intellectual Roger Waters’s ‘We don’t need no education’ has always grated with me....

Legionreturns

"Isn't it ironic" 

No. It's not. 

thecolourbox

Neill said:

The worse one of all is of course "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight".  Every schoolboy knows lions don't live in the jungle and even if they did, like all cats they sleep in the day. 

Technically, it's only our distortion of the meaning of the word jungle that leads you to think that, it's originally a Hindi weird I think which means something like inhospitable or uninhabitable place, which the hot Serengeti is, hence the lion often being called the king of the jungle.

The pedants are revolting, sorry about that.

I'll nominate the last line of the Carol " While Shepherds Watched ", begin and never cease, whereafter one stops and ceases.

The "no snow in Africa" one does bother me as week though I'll give you that

underdog

Katie Melua "there are 9 million bicycles in Beijing, that's a fact" no it's not, it's a guesstimate at best FFS.

Sassafras

Anything by Justin Bieber.

guitars4you

Isn't it ironic and 'like rain on your wedding day'
No  that isn't ironic. It's just bad luck
Might be ironic if you got married 2 or 3 times and it rained 

guitars4you

guitars4you said:

Isn't it ironic and 'like rain on your wedding day'
No  that isn't ironic. It's just bad luck
Might be ironic if you got married 2 or 3 times and it rained 

Sorry I stole your blog @Legionreturns ;

RandallFlagg

“Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away”

Silly old Bill Withers with his double negative, so there was sunshine but it was chilly?

ICBM

underdog said:

Katie Melua "there are 9 million bicycles in Beijing, that's a fact" no it's not, it's a guesstimate at best FFS.

Katie Melua's album was called 'Call Off The Search'. Hopefully it was her who was missing.

guitars4you said:

Isn't it ironic and 'like rain on your wedding day'
No  that isn't ironic. It's just bad luck
Might be ironic if you got married 2 or 3 times and it rained 

But it is bordering on genius to write a song called Ironic which apparently demonstrates a lack of understanding of its meaning.

I'll nominate one my favourite songwriters, Neil Young, for the utter drivel that is Cortez The Killer, portraying the Aztecs as some kind of peace-loving hippies.

RandallFlagg

Johnny Borrell with this spellbinding couplet, grammatically correct but hardly Dylan:

“I met a girl. She asked me my name. I told her what it was.”

Funkfingers

"Was it a millionaire who said, imagine no possessions?" 

RandallFlagg

And who can forget Missy Elliot's lyrical savvy:

“Take my thong off and my ass go boom!”

Dominic

what....as in a fart ?

thecolourbox

RandallFlagg said:

Johnny Borrell with this spellbinding couplet, grammatically correct but hardly Dylan:

“I met a girl. She asked me my name. I told her what it was.”

I believe he also composed the short story esque line of "When I go out and I come home again"

RandallFlagg

Funkfingers said:

"Was it a millionaire who said, imagine no possessions?" 

I think John was ahead of his time:

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And believe the world will be as flat as one

Bygone_Tones

ICBM said:

Katie Melua's album was called 'Call Off The Search'. Hopefully it was her who was missing.

She also had a song called "this is the closest thing to crazy I have ever been". Hopefully she has now been sectioned.

Legionreturns

We could discuss the lyrics to Yellow Ledbetter... If only we could understand a single fucking one of them!

AlexC

“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends” shouted those 1990’s feminist icons The Spice Girls.
”Get with” how? Is it a five for one deal? 

frank1985

“Slowly walking down the hall 

Faster than a cannonball”