Irritating song lyrics

Neill

underdog said:

Katie Melua "there are 9 million bicycles in Beijing, that's a fact" no it's not, it's a guesstimate at best FFS.

Numbers in pop songs are a source of constant irritation.

I looked forward to hearing about Willie Dixon's "29 ways" to make it to his baby's door but he barely managed to think of ten.

Not as bad as the charlatan Paul Simon who claimed there must be "50 ways to leave your lover" - ok so how about letting on about the other 43?


BTW thanks @hywelg that's another song I can't listen to ever again. 

EricTheWeary

hywelg said:

"Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak
Somewhere in this town"

Hmm Sherlock, whereabouts in the town I wonder??

I know this comes up a lot but I gather it was written quite knowingly ( the bit about old Beaujolais wine from Parisienne     Walkways being the other classic example of Phil taking the piss). 

As it’s seasonal can I bring up ( again) 2000 Miles by The Pretenders. Great, great band but OMFG 

He's gone two thousand miles
It's very far. 

RandallFlagg

Dominic said:

what....as in a fart ?

Not really sure, but It's preceded by:

“And think you can handle this badonkadonk-donk”

she then goes on to invite you to “cut the lights off....” 

i think she's batshit betty

strtdv

Another Thin Lizzy one, the line from dancin' in the moonlight; "oh but it's a habit worth forming, if it means to justify the end"

The phrase is "if the end justifies the means". Ruins the song for me.

RandallFlagg

This charming little verse from Lil' B:

“Bitches suck my dick because I look like JK Rowling
Harry Pot my bitch, I fuck my ho, her brain is awesome”

I hate to break it to him, but he really doesn't look like JK Rowling.

underdog

Legionreturns said:

We could discuss the lyrics to Yellow Ledbetter... If only we could understand a single fucking one of them!

It's pure slurred beauty of whatever the hell you want it to be

sticker

One that drives me mad every year “when the Snowman brings the snow”.... really ? How can the fucker exist if he brings the snow ?

There has to be snow before the snowman can be made .

Unless he’s a snow delivery man in the manner of a milk man or coal man ....but that doesn’t make sense either.

Who the fuck orders snow? 

Legionreturns

sticker said:

One that drives m mad every year “when the Snowman brings the snow”.... really ? How can the fucker exist if he brings the snow ?

There has to be snow before the snowman can be made . Unless he’s a snow delivery man in the manner of a milk man or coal man ....but that doesn’t make sense either.

Who the fuck orders snow? 

I was discussing that one the other day. I'm afraid my brain extrapolated it further. Yes, it's a chicken and egg type situation, but what if he's a regular flesh man? When the flesh man brings the flesh? Essentially he's a sick bastard, carrying around the carrion of his fallen fellow snowmen. 

Neill

The soldiers waited at the gate for weeks
(Five, four, three, two, one)
In a wooden horse, to the city they sneaked
(Five, four, three, two, one)
Who let them in,  was it the Greeks?
(Five, four, three, two, one)
Uh-huh, it was the Manfreds

No it wasn't the Manfreds, or the Greeks, it was the 'kin TROJANS.  I though Paul Jones had a degree? 

sticker

And another annual Christmas illogical pearl in the shape of “Rockin’ around the Christmas tree “ ... “In the new , old fashioned way “ ... 

How exactly does that work then ? 

RandallFlagg

Don't forget Seal, what on earth is he banging on about here:

“But did you know that when it snows
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen?”

buggered if I know.

fandango

Proclaimers "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" single from 30-ish years ago

"But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door"

Walking 500 miles is daft enough, but to do it twice? And for who?

Bridgehouse

RandallFlagg said:

Don't forget Seal, what on earth is he banging on about here:

“But did you know that when it snows
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen?”

buggered if I know.

Drivel.

RandallFlagg

Lighthouse Family have had the word ramdomiser out again:

“Say it's true, pink and blue 
I can share your situation
Been holding our, emotions back
Will only make us cry
If you go, I know, but you know
It ain't so serious anyway
When that cloud arrives we'll live on...”

Legionreturns

"Uh huh, uh huh

Yeah, Rihanna
Uh huh, uh huh 
Good girl gone bad
Uh huh, uh huh 
Take three, action
Uh huh, uh huh, ho

No clouds in my stones
Let it rain; I hydroplane into fame
Comin' down at the Dow Jones
When the clouds come, we gone
We Rocafella
We fly higher than weather
In G5's or better
You know me
In anticipation for precipitation stack chips for the rainy day
Rain man is back with little Ms. Sunshine
Rihanna, where you at?" 

Is it Chaucer? No... It's really not

ICBM

Neill said:

The soldiers waited at the gate for weeks
(Five, four, three, two, one)
In a wooden horse, to the city they sneaked
(Five, four, three, two, one)
Pulled out and then was it the Greeks?
(Five, four, three, two, one)
Uh-huh, it was the Manfreds

No it wasn't the Manfreds, or the Greeks, it was the 'kin TROJANS.  I though Paul Jones had a degree? 

No, to be fair the soldiers inside the horse were actually the Greeks. Odysseus and some others, I forget exactly who.

It’s still drivel though...

richardhomer

ICBM said:
It’s still drivel though...

Everyone’s getting in on the act @RandallFlagg ;

Schnozz

Pretty much everything Ronnie James Dio wrote outside of Rainbow was awful apart from a couple of Black Sabbath songs. The one that comes to mind is...

KISS (C'mon and Love Me)

I'm a man, I'm no baby
And you're lookin' every inch a lady
You're good lookin' and you're lookin' like you should be good

Shite.

LesbianWithAGun

I love Metallica, don't get me wrong, but; Exit light, enter night
really? They sang that and we/the public bought it.

RandallFlagg

richardhomer said:

ICBM said:
It’s still drivel though...

Everyone’s getting in on the act @RandallFlagg ;

Careful, the serious heads will be along soon to chastise you for using the word drivel to mock the art of these lyrics...

“post lyrics you have written etc...bet you prefer tiddlywinks and ITV to listening to music etc.”