Irritating song lyrics

fandango

Legionreturns said:

"Uh huh, uh huh

Yeah, Rihanna
Uh huh, uh huh 
Good girl gone bad
Uh huh, uh huh 
Take three, action
Uh huh, uh huh, ho

No clouds in my stones
Let it rain; I hydroplane into fame
Comin' down at the Dow Jones
When the clouds come, we gone
We Rocafella
We fly higher than weather
In G5's or better
You know me
In anticipation for precipitation stack chips for the rainy day
Rain man is back with little Ms. Sunshine
Rihanna, where you at?" 

Is it Chaucer? No... It's really not

For those who really want to know what drivel is. ^^^^ this is drivel. Well identified by @Legionreturns .


@RandallFlagg ; et al take note.

Emp_Fab

“Regrets? - I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention”. 

So - did you or did you not just fucking mention them ?

Sassafras

Purple Haze.
"Scuse me while I kiss this guy"
Jimi never specifies which guy he'll be kissing. If it's just any guy, he's condoning promiscuity.

BRISTOL86

sticker said:

And another annual Christmas illogical pearl in the shape of “Rockin’ around the Christmas tree “ ... “In the new , old fashioned way “ ... 

How exactly does that work then ? 

I’ve always interpreted that as being something that had fallen out of fashion and then hit a new wave of popularity. 

Like vinyl and beards. 

Neill

ICBM said:

Neill said:

The soldiers waited at the gate for weeks
(Five, four, three, two, one)
In a wooden horse, to the city they sneaked
(Five, four, three, two, one)
Pulled out and then was it the Greeks?
(Five, four, three, two, one)
Uh-huh, it was the Manfreds

No it wasn't the Manfreds, or the Greeks, it was the 'kin TROJANS.  I though Paul Jones had a degree? 

No, to be fair the soldiers inside the horse were actually the Greeks. Odysseus and some others, I forget exactly who.

It’s still drivel though...

Those lyrics are actually wrong, I cut and pasted them without checking (ok I had a few drinks) the actual lyrics are "who let them in was it the Greeks". (1.14 on the vid) There's obviously some sort of historical auto correct function on these song lyrics sites..

Pigknows

Hot Love by T Rex.

Apart from the 'adult theme', the lyrics might have been written by a three year old.

I just made up one of these lines. Can you guess which? 

Well she's my woman of gold
And she's not very old - a ha ha

Well she ain't no witch and I love the way she twitch - a ha ha

Well she's faster than most and she lives on the coast - a ha ha

Well she's my woman of bronze and she looks like The Fonz- a ha ha

RandallFlagg

Emp_Fab said:

“Regrets? - I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention”. 

So - did you or did you not just fucking mention them ?

and of course Sid Vicious takes My Way off piste into some artful improvisation with "you cunt I'm not a queer"

Neill

Pigknows said:

Hot Love by T Rex.

Apart from the 'adult theme', the lyrics might have been written by a three year old.

I just made up one of these lines. Can you guess which? 

Well she's my woman of gold
And she's not very old - a ha ha

Well she ain't no witch and I love the way she twitch - a ha ha

Well she's faster than most and she lives on the coast - a ha ha

Well she's my woman of bronze and she looks like The Fonz- a ha ha

I remember Joe Jackson ("Is she really going out with him" "it's different for Girls" "Steppin out" etc.) relating how when he was struggling to earn a living as a pianist in a lounge bar band, they used to invent lyrics just to see if anyone was paying attention. 

Two that spring to mind are

 "Raindrops keep falling on me bonce, but that doesn't mean that I am singing like a ponce, maybe just the once..."  

"You can have me on a Monday, a Tuesday, a Wednesday, or any day you like. But you can't have me on a Sunday, a Sunday, 'cos Sunday's the day I fix me bike" 

RandallFlagg

One of the bands I was was in, back in the late 80s, used to rehearse using my old Marshall 50 watt combo for the vocal "pa", that's all we had. So, we could't hear our singers lyrics, just this nasally, distorted mid-rangey noise in the background.

When we went to the local 8 track studio to record some demos we were treated to the following profound lyrical absurdity:

"8 men in a rowing boat, heading for a foreign shore"

"like a small dog with a white bone"

We were rolling about pissing ourselves at the playback, he had a lyrics notebook full of this shite. There were even some made up words.

His nickname was "POD" from Punks nOt deaD but we ended up calling him Rodney for some reason, he was like a character from Viz

the_jaffa

My favourite is by a rapper called Common. In his tune "Making a Name for Ourselves" he comes out with this:

"I'm your worst nightmare squared,
That's double for niggas who aren't mathematically aware"

Hmm, dubious maths there Mr Mathematically Aware

Saying that, it doesn't really irritate me. Mostly just amuses me

EricTheWeary

Emp_Fab said:

“Regrets? - I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention”. 

So - did you or did you not just fucking mention them ?

If we’re doing Sinatra then Something Stupid. 

Then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like if you eat a raw onion every day it will stop you getting a cold.  

The songwriters could have really gone for it but we just get ‘ I love you.’ 

Guitar_Slinger

"Weather-wise it's such a groovy day"

Another Sinatra gem, from lyricist Sammy Cahn.

thecolourbox

the_jaffa said:

My favourite is by a rapper called Common. In his tune "Making a Name for Ourselves" he comes out with this:

"I'm your worst nightmare squared,
That's double for niggas who aren't mathematically aware"

Hmm, dubious maths there Mr Mathematically Aware

Saying that, it doesn't really irritate me. Mostly just amuses me

The one that I love quoting in my fairly-well-spoken-for-a-black-country-mon normal speaking voice is "Whipping Excursion" by Giggs. It contains such gems as:

Whippin' that wurzel. You know me, I've got the littlest circle

Grab it and swerve it, turn it, grab it and burn it. Banging that Kermit, you gotta grab it and firm it. Banging that German whip, slanging that Sherman

chillidoggy

"Agadoo, doo, doo, push pineapple, shake the tree,

Agadoo, doo, doo, push pineapple, grind coffee."

Black Lace not only pushing pineapples, but the edge of the envelope of lyrical advancement.

prowla

Schnozz said:

Pretty much everything Ronnie James Dio wrote outside of Rainbow was awful apart from a couple of Black Sabbath songs. The one that comes to mind is...

KISS (C'mon and Love Me)

I'm a man, I'm no baby
And you're lookin' every inch a lady
You're good lookin' and you're lookin' like you should be good

Shite.

One of the funny things I recall is Sacha Distel singing "Love Is All (at the Butterfly Ball)" and doing Dio's ad-libs at the end: "When your back's to the wall, when you're starting to fall, ..." in his smoochy French accent.

Dio used that line a few times.

He also used to like rhyming "night" with "alright" and once used "pretty" to rhyme with "city", which is a bit of a cringe.

For me, the thing about him was that his words painted a picture.

But I like him!

prowla

We know a song that'll get on your nerves...

zepp76

Des'ree - Life,

I don't want to see a ghost,
it's a sight that I fear most,
I'd rather have a piece of toast.

friggin atrocious!

Sassafras

"These boots were made for walking"
Funnily enough so were mine.

Clashman

Got to write a classic
Got to write it in an attic
Baby, I'm an addict now
An addict for your love...
SIMPLY AWFUL LOL

Neill

When it comes to awful lyrics I think Bernie Taupin takes some beating. eg:  

 So goodbye yellow brick road

Where the dogs of society howl
You can't plant me in your penthouse
I'm going back to my plough

Back to the howling old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny back toad
Oh I've finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road

Howling owls?  Hunting "horny back toads"? (whatever they are) And with a plough??  

And, "Saturday night's all right for fighting" is one of the most crass songs ever written. If any record should have been banned by the BBC that was it.  The organisation, incidentally that once blacklisted "Give Peace a Chance".