What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?

PC_Dave

Man who sleep with itchy bum wake up with smelly finger.

-Confucius 

Skipped

This is cheating....but at work I used to frustrate people in Safety Meetings by saying:
"The Odometer is more dangerous then the Speedometer"

It was a plea to limit the endless meetings 200 miles away and to make use of the superb Video Conferencing that was available.

Nitefly

Some days you're the statue, some days you're the pigeon.

DarnWeight

No one lies on their deathbed wishing they'd spent more time at the office.

bluechargeboy

Golden rules of engineering as told to me by my Dad:

1) When you replace a component with a new one, don't assume the new component works just because it is new.
2) If it suddenly broke down after you were working on it, it's probably something you cocked up.

They seem obvious but are easily forgotten in the heat of battle.

amarok1971

If you wouldn't put it in your mouth then don t put it in your fanny 

Dominic

If it flies, floats or Fucks .......rent it !

munckee

My very posh boss said to me on my first day in a new job "If someone says you are a c#nt ignore it.  If everyone says you are a c#nt, chances are you are a c#nt."

Dodge

Hire for attitude, train for skill.

Bellycaster

If it's got Tits or Tyres, it's gonna cost you.

Bridgehouse

The easiest way to make a million quid is to start with a million quid...

hywelg

If the answer might be inconvenient, don't ask the question.

TheMarlin

Never eat yellow snow

steveb

Dont lend people tools!! They wont look after them!! 

Sassafras

steveb said:

Dont lend people tools!! They wont look after them!! 

Don't lend people anything. You'll never get it back.

Blueingreen

Life is like a shit sandwich.

The more bread you have the less shit you gotta eat.

munckee

Blueingreen said:

Life is like a shit sandwich.

The more bread you have the less shit you gotta eat.

Pedant alert, surely the more bread you have the bigger the sandwich and the lower the ratio between shit and bread but still the same amount of shit?

stonevibe

Don't put your dick in crazy, no matter how good it might look.

Stavros

“There’s no pockets in a shroud”.

I always use that one when I need/ want something I probably shouldn’t buy.

Kebabkid

You can't polish a turd but you can roll it in glitter.

I always liked my late Dad's advice to me:
Do whatever makes you happy, Son as long as you're not hurting anyone or breaking the law.