What is the absolute worst car YOUR DAD ever owned ?

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My dad when he was alive ( R.I.P dad ) had some crummy cars, in the early 90s he owned an immaculate and well cared for 2.1 Volvo 240 and without warning one day my brother who was 16 at the time opened his bedroom blinds and sitting in our driveway was a red 1.2 Lada Riva.

My bro let out such a yell. I nearly corpsed from laughing. To say that car was a pile of shit is an understatement. My mum used the cig lighter and the electrics blew, to overtake you needed 1 mile of no traffic coming the other way, the gearstick came off in dads hand, bro,'s mate when in the car wore a shopping bag on his head etc etc and the list goes on and on...

What was the biggest pile of shit your dad drove and tell us about that car.
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  • JezWyndJezWynd Frets: 2115
    edited January 13
    A blue mini estate. My Dad lived under the bonnet of that car trying to get the carburetter to work. He used to pick me up from school in it and I regularly had an extra hour at school. Funny thing is, it always worked in the mornings to get me there on time. Strange...

    We had a very cool old Morris with a tailgate and canvas hood. Sitting in the passenger seat you could see the road rushing by underneath through the huge rust holes in the cabin floor.

    Here they are

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  • VimFuegoVimFuego Frets: 5968
    in the 70's my dad had a VW estate (can't recall the name) with a rear mounted engine. It had vinyl seats which got skin searing hot in the summer, and it wallowed around so bad I had permanent car sickness. Oh, and no rear seat windows, so in summer I also got boiling hot. 

    I'm not locked in here with you, you are locked in here with me.

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  • Phil_aka_PipPhil_aka_Pip Frets: 8439
    edited January 13
    Reliant 3-wheeler pre-1964 (no year letter). Grey, rounded corners. Wasn't desperately unreliable, but there was only about 1" of foam padding in the seats, it was slower than a milk float, and dad had to take corners very carefully.

    EDIT I think the most difficult to get started on a cold morning must have been the dull green Morris series Z van
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • CHRISB50CHRISB50 Frets: 1732
    Ford Sierra Sapphire 2000E. 

    It went wrong. A lot. 

    I can't help about the shape I'm in, I can't sing I ain't pretty and my legs are thin

    But don't ask me what I think of you, I might not give the answer that you want me to

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  • JalapenoJalapeno Frets: 3274
    edited January 13
    A DAF 33, you'll recall they morphed into East German Trabants

    Imagine something sharp and witty here ......

    Feedback
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  • ICBMICBM Frets: 30905
    From some of the stories he's told me, one of the 1930s/40s deathtraps that were considered just throwaway cheap cars in the 60s, bought for next to nothing and run into the ground - no MOT or anything in those days - but would now be fully restored as 'vintage classics', probably...

    Of the cars I remember as a kid, the 1970s British Leyland Triumph 2500 estates he had three of in succession as company cars were fairly shit - he worked for a BL subcontractor so there was no choice, and it was pretty much the only estate model available - they were great when they went well, but all had fairly major faults and were unreliable. The most hilarious was the second one - the fuel injection was quite primitive in those days, and on this particular one if he pressed down slightly too hard on the accelerator it would take off like you'd engaged afterburners, and then the tailgate would pop open because the bodyshell didn't fit properly :).
    "Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone."
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  • dhjdhj Frets: 19
    No, these are all luxury cars. My dad had a Wartburg 2 stroke car. I remember clouds of smoke as he drove off each afternoon for his overtime stint as a postman. He later upgraded a few years later to a Lada. Ah happy, cold, days.
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  • KilgoreKilgore Frets: 816
    Two contenders:

    1 Austin Maxi. Death trap, big holes in the floor. Put kids in something like that these days and Social Services would get involved.

    2 Triumph Stag. A fine example of 70's British engineering. It broke down everytime we went anywhere in it. It lasted about six weeks.
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  • VimFuegoVimFuego Frets: 5968
    JezWynd said:
    A blue mini estate. My Dad lived under the bonnet of that car trying to get the carburetter to work. He used to pick me up from school in it and I regularly had an extra hour at school. Funny thing is, it always worked in the mornings to get me there on time. Strange...

    We had a very cool old Morris with a tailgate and canvas hood. Sitting in the passenger seat you could see the road rushing by underneath through the huge rust holes in the cabin floor.

    Here they are

    now that morris is something I want. Mrs f is more keen on a morris traveler though.

    I'm not locked in here with you, you are locked in here with me.

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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 6811
    My paternal grandfather died when I was about ten. He certainly wasn't a rich man but somehow he'd scraped together the money for a new Cortina  MK3 ( green, vinyl roof) but then got ill and died . So we had quite a decent car for a while, despite the tinge of sadness. I think the worst of it's successors was an Austin Ambassador. 

    My first car was a MK1 Viva that my sister couldn't sell so she gave to me. I had it for a bit then,IIRC, got £50 in scrap value. My mate Pete had a Triumph Dolomite that was so rusty the passenger foot well had basically gone. You had to sit cross legged and could see the road underneath. The 80s wasn't all shoulder pads and anti poll tax rallies. 
    I feel the warm, healing, liquid presence of God’s genuine cold-filtered grace. 
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  • rlwrlw Frets: 1504
    VimFuego said:
    in the 70's my dad had a VW estate (can't recall the name) with a rear mounted engine. It had vinyl seats which got skin searing hot in the summer, and it wallowed around so bad I had permanent car sickness. Oh, and no rear seat windows, so in summer I also got boiling hot. 
    Type 3 - great fun to drive in wet weather.
    Save a cow.  Eat a vegetarian.
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  • webrthomsonwebrthomson Frets: 356
    Austin Princess in brown FFS - I mean I know it was the 70's but seriously:



    He also had some totally crap Fiat - I don’t remember the model but it didn’t like the cold and would break down if it got below a certain temperature - we lived at the top of hill in Scotland - so that went well!

    Oh and of course the Saab 99 - no rear seatbelts since it was the 70's and the back doors randomly opened when cornering, eventually one of the front wheels came off while he was driving this portable death trap. Looking back it’s a bloody miracle I made it to adulthood :)



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  • JezWyndJezWynd Frets: 2115
    edited January 13
    ICBM said:
    From some of the stories he's told me, one of the 1930s/40s deathtraps that were considered just throwaway cheap cars in the 60s, bought for next to nothing and run into the ground - no MOT or anything in those days - but would now be fully restored as 'vintage classics', probably...
    We had an old Crossley which fitted that description. Beautiful car, although we treated it as a beater, runaround rather than a classic car. It got traded for the Morris pickup as house building was happening and a tailgate was v useful. It had that lovely old leather interior smell. It was like this one only in green drab.. I must have a few pics somewhere as we used to take it to car rallies in wet fields on weekends.

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  • rlwrlw Frets: 1504
    Take your pick

    My dad's first to last cars - 1959-1977

    Standard 8
    Vauxhall Victor Mk1
    Triumph Herald 12/50
    Triumph Herald 13/60

    Image result for standard 8



    Save a cow.  Eat a vegetarian.
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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 6811
    That sounds like every Fiat ever made. My mate Chris had a Strada ( the one in the famous built by robots ad, lampooned as Leyland built by Roberts by Not the Nine o'clock News) and that's in the running for biggest piece of crap with four wheels. 
    I feel the warm, healing, liquid presence of God’s genuine cold-filtered grace. 
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  • TelejesterTelejester Frets: 642
    i remember my dad in floods of tears from laughing. He had been reading the sunday paper in a deck chair that sunny morning out in the front garden His neighbours were loading up their car to take their baby daughter to the beach. 30 mins later they were all set to go.

    Whilst dad sat with the paper up covering his face,  He heard from the car as the key was turned..A rum rum rum rum rum......A rum rum rum rum......A rum rum rum rum rum rum......A rum rum rum rum rum rum rum rum rum rumrum...skreeeeeech.....dpppfffffftttdd.

    As dad sat in convulsions behind the paper, he heard loud swearing from inside the car, the thud of a car door slamming shut that sent a shockwave around the globe and the sound of a family going back indoors before their front door whammed shut behind them.

    Dad could harcly speak as he was telling me about it, wish i had been there to see it happen..
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  • MajorscaleMajorscale Frets: 599
    Probably my dads old Citroen BX... so bad I tried to kill it by putting it into a ditch. 
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  • FunkfingersFunkfingers Frets: 2788
    Toss up between two Renaults, methinks.
    1. A rust bucket 16TS hatchback. The death knell sounded after the rear silencer blew a big hole in itself about forty five minutes into a five hour journey to visit relatives.
    2. An 18GTL saloon. Electric windows are only a luxury feature if they close properly. When paying at the Severn Bridge tolls, it was preferable to open the door to hand over the money. The alternative was two hours or so of wind noise through the crack between the door frame and the ill-seated curved glass. (Proper closure required one hand on the button and the other pressing against exactly the right spot on the glass. A shoulder would not do. I never fancied steering with my knees.)
    I fear the Geeks, even when they bear GIFs.
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  • guitars4youguitars4you Frets: 3914
    I hear stories of me as a kid in 1959/1960 sat on my mums knee, in the front seat, with her legs wide open as the floor had a hole in it

     just about recall my dad having an Anglia

    When we took over the family business in 1974 (music shop) my dad purchased a Fiat 900T van (think that is the model) - about as powerful as a lawn mover - I called it a hamster wagon as it was just about larger enough to get a hamster in it - But for deliveries in the early stages of the business it did its job - he went from that to a used 4.2 Jag - chalk n cheese
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  • BucketBucket Frets: 7597
    edited January 13
    Well, it was shared between my mum and dad as the family car, but the Chrysler PT Cruiser we had between 2000 and 2007 must be a low point. Was replaced by a 2007 Mercedes A-class which was a significant improvement. They still have it.

    My dad also had a Porsche 911 for a while - a 996, which was a rather careworn high-mile example. It was riddled with faults and spent more time off the road being fixed than on it. It was awesome when it worked though. His current "fun" second car is a Mercedes SL350 which, again, is a significant improvement - if not in performance, then certainly in reliability :lol:
    - "I'm going to write a very stiff letter. A VERY stiff letter. On cardboard."
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  • A brown Morris Ital saloon with tan coloured seats. As well as looking awful, the clock made a horrible noise and I frequently vomited in the back seat. 
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  • DominicDominic Frets: 3344
    my uncle had an Austin Princess in Hearing - Aid beige with caramel velour seats 
    my mum had a Ford Zodiac
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  • VimFuegoVimFuego Frets: 5968
    I recall the 1st family in our street (small hampshire commuter village all occupied by middle manager types, so this was important) to get a Princess. They were the envy of the street, they were clearly on the road to "making it". How little we knew back then.

    I'm not locked in here with you, you are locked in here with me.

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  • FuengiFuengi Frets: 510
    edited January 13
    My Dad bought a wreck of a house on The Medoc in the 80's and became a bit of a Francophile. 

    He then went through a series of Citroen's, by far the worst of which was a burgundy Ami 8.

    He stuck my sister, mum and me in it and filled a trailer up with building materials and set of for the ferry. Driving all night we got a few hours across France before the Ami gave up the ghost and we trundled down through a French village. Dad turned the car off the main road and it came to a stop outside a large set of wooden doors.

    We went to sleep in the car, only to be woken at 8am by the large wooden doors opening to reveal.... the village garage! 

    The sight of the head mechanic opening the passenger door and wondering where the steering wheel and pedals were will never leave me. 
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  • KKJaleKKJale Frets: 555
    A Morris Oxford, in brown... with an auto box. The throttle communicated with the engine by second-class post. The acceleration was glacial. There were species of bamboo capable of passing it by simply growing. 
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  • chillidoggychillidoggy Frets: 12082
    edited January 13
    Oh, woe is me. Where do I start?

     Arguably the absolute worst was a secondhand BMW Isetta bubble car with 3 wheels, that he bought on HP. The whole front was the only door, and when you opened it to reveal the less than luxurious interior, the steering wheel remained attached. Either there was no reverse gear, or it was broken, because I can remember him shoving it backwards into parking spaces. On the day he bought it, the HP company went tits-up, and he never paid a penny for it. Sadly, instead of punting it into touch, mum and I had to suffer the hateful thing for some time until the next pile of junk arrived. A journey of any length was akin to having been over Niagara Falls in a barrel. As for reliability, well let’s just say that for every hour’s driving, he probably spent another hour or so fixing it.

    But a very, very, close second, due to even more shocking reliability than the bubble-car, was a 1960’s Renault R8, the engine of which would die on an intermittent basis, usually at the most inopportune moment. On one occasion it did so in the pissing rain when he and mum were on their way to a posh dinner-dance (they never made it, dad ruined his dinner-jacket laying underneath it trying to fix it, and he still had to pay for the tickets). I also remember it breaking down at set of traffic lights somewhere on the A20.

    As dad was too tight to pay for AA membership, we spent a lot of time pushing it off the road so dad could tinker with the thing. He was quite stubborn, but he eventually admitted defeat, sold it, and bought an A55 ex-butcher’s van. It was at this point that my mother decided she’d had enough of old bangers, and I reckon the old man was either going to get booted out, or buy a decent motor, which he did when he arrived with a Morris 1100.


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  • Phil_aka_PipPhil_aka_Pip Frets: 8439
    CHRISB50 said:
    Ford Sierra Sapphire 2000E. 

    It went wrong. A lot. 
    I once had the misfortune to be given one of those as a company hire car for a business trip. Gutless wreck, no grunt at all. Sloppy suspension, wallowed round corners
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • mudslide73mudslide73 Frets: 1601
    My dad worked in the motor trade so we never had anything he knew would be unreliable. Loads of Cortinas and Sierras came and went without any problems other than the dreaded rust. He was a Ford guy basically (still is).

    I think the worst was a Citroen Palas with the pneumatic suspension which was all flashy lights and gizmos. It was quite cool but very temperamental generally. We didn't have it long from what I can remember. 
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  • RaymondLinRaymondLin Frets: 3519
    Vauxhall Astra.
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  • not_the_djnot_the_dj Frets: 5441
    Morris Marina followed by a Morris Ital. 
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