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LegionreturnsLegionreturns Frets: 5109
edited June 13 in Off Topic
Some of you might remember this post I made about a particularly difficult student of mine back in November: 

http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/115808/why-i-do-what-i-do/p1

Well, this is by way of an update, and confirmation of my thoughts at the time on what he needed to get back on the straight and narrow. 

That episode wasn't the "fix", in fact, it was just the start. Since October he's moved back and forth between both parents' houses, grandma's and his uncle's. In fact he's moved no less than 6 times, each time because he was kicked out, in some cases violently and literally.

We had a pretty scary falling out after an episode where he brought weed to school in my car, but after several days of hard restorative work, we got past it. 

By January, we had a pretty solid relationship. He talked things through with me, confided in me about a number of issues and genuinely trusted me. He let me get him a social worker and asked me to come to meetings with her. 

Fast forward to now. He's just finished his GCSE exams, 1:1 with me invigilating, completed them all despite frustrations and kick offs, and done pretty well. He's walked out of nearly all of his exams in the past. His attendance is at 98%, higher than in any year since he was 8, and up 15% on last year. He's let me help him choose and apply (succesfully) to a college for next year, and after working with him on a plan, has taken it upon himself to keep his best mate away from trouble following early release on a tag in April. So far, he's done exactly that, and because of that, I've been given both of them to work with for the rest of the year. 

On the one hand, I'm immensely proud (both of him, and, if I'm honest, of the job I've done with him) but on the other hand, why did it take until his final year of school for someone to treat him like an adult and work out how to fix the mess that his parents made? 

I'm dreading him leaving at the end of June, but I have to trust that he's ready for adulthood and will continue to make positive decisions.

I'll cross my fingers, but with hope, not trepidation. 

Sorry...another one of those days when I needed to explode somewhere, and you guys have always been supportive! 

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  • Panama_Jack666Panama_Jack666 Frets: 2563
    edited June 13
    Wow! Incredible work on your behalf. Well done on your perseverance! You should be proud of yourself too. 
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  • ChalkyChalky Frets: 5653
    You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.

    Truly, well done. Both for taking on the hard task that most of us would shy away from, and for making such great progress.
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  • JezWyndJezWynd Frets: 2415
    Great work. It's the kind of intervention that has the possibility of cascading down generations. Fingers crossed it all works out.
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  • quarkyquarky Frets: 2280
    Well done, that is really something to be proud of. Not just doing your job well, but making a difference to someone's life.
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  • LegionreturnsLegionreturns Frets: 5109
    JezWynd said:
    Great work. It's the kind of intervention that has the possibility of cascading down generations. Fingers crossed it all works out.
    Breaking the cycle is pretty much my main goal. Here's hoping! 

    My Trading Feedback    |    You Bring The Band

    Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you
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  • blobbblobb Frets: 878
    Sounds like you've been the role model he was missing. Life is all about achievements, before you got involved he had none, now that's different. That will stay with him I'm sure. Good work.
    Feelin' Reelin' & Squeelin'
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  • breakstuffbreakstuff Frets: 5644
    edited June 13

    Well done Legion.It's really great to see kids,who have gone off the rails for whatever reasons,being given a chance.Too many aren't and end up on lifes scrapheap.

    You (and he) should be very proud of yourself.


    In my life,why do I give valuable time to people who I'd much rather kick in the eye.
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  • jonnyburgojonnyburgo Frets: 6093
    Well done mate,I also work with "bad" kids, what they need is strong role models, boundaries, consistency and commitment and it sounds like you've given all that and more. When people ask me how I can work with violent teenagers I always say the same thing - to survive in this job its down to 95% character and 5% physical strength. I've seen brick-shithouse 19 stone prop forwards jack it in after a week because they can't hack it.

    Well done mate you're a star.
    "OUR TOSSPOT"
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  • mr-macmr-mac Frets: 196
    And a lot of kids in similar boats never get that from school, seen as trouble at home and school and just moved from pillar to post.  And the next difficulty is say they go to collage or in a case they have ODD and get help to go to collage? And stop going or get cicked out??

    What happens then is nothing, nobody picks up with them and they get to go through to adult with no help and little qualifications.  They can't get or hold a good job so crime often follows.

    It's a bloody sin when sometimes they just need someone on their side and treated like an adult.

    i wasn't a bad pupil but had real behaviour difficulties in a few classes where teachers treated you like crap (i rebelled against it).  It earned me a behavioural teacher and a wee card to say I'd behaved each class.  The supposed behavioural teacher was a total cunt.  Always used to out the pupils down and say things to me like "what's the point you'll never amount to anything".  Even saw him out of school a few times as i had a job as hall porter in hotel and he'd start saying similar things "your nothing but a joke piece of crap". 

    He did it once after I'd left school when i was at a dinner dance, at hotel i had worked in while a school kid, for local sailing club, wee digs each time I passed (in front of a teacher who i got on with and actually saw me as a decent person).  eventually called me a useless cunt who'd never amount to anything and was just a little wanker.  Well dressed up nice for a dance or not i grabbed the cunt by the throat and lost it.  "This isn't school and you have zero place to talk to me like that.  So one more word directed in my direction and I will hand your ass back to you on a plate....  You were supposed to support, encourage and help pupils to improve and behave better but all you do is, slag, call names, belittle and make out like those your meant to help are like a spec if dirt on your shoe." Let go of him then and said "Shame on you for treating kids that way". Turned to teacher at that point who'd actually telt him twice to shut up and thought more of me and said sorry you had to see that.  He's supposed to help but made me feel like shite and sorry but i ain't taking it from him now i ain't in school.  He said don't be sorry your right. 

    Went to walk away and shite hole teacher couldn't resist but say your nothing but a useless, worthless wanker... Really nice teacher looked shocked and disgusted at him.  I laid the bastard out with one punch.  Proper knocked him up and back and landed him right out.  Other teacher looked at him, laughed turned and said "well done"he had it coming, was less than he deserved, you gave him more warning than he deserved and i'm sorry i hadn't realised how he talked to you in school".  He shook my hand and said don't listen to him i'm in no doubt you'll do great.

    Not directly related but shows you what some kids get from people who are meant to be doing same sort of thing as you.  Sime are great and will set kids on right path, some may fall off path later as support evaporated and others are maybe sent in wrong direction be people with some vindictive, twisted person who's supposed to help.

    Anyway, well done for your hard work, should defo be more like you.
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  • Phil_aka_PipPhil_aka_Pip Frets: 8991
    @mr-mac did you keep the job in the hotel?
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • bloodandtearsbloodandtears Frets: 475
    well done pal..
    My trading feedback

    is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?

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  • notanonnotanon Frets: 233
    Can only award 1 wow. Fair play to you!
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  • BoromedicBoromedic Frets: 991
    Great work @Legionreturns , you are right to be proud of yourself and what he has achieved with your support and guidance. My wife and my mum have worked in similar fields, and you have my utmost respect for the work you do. Having nothing but the odd fleeting experience with lads and ladies with similar issues in my line of work, I doff my cap in your direction. It takes a lot of dedication, patience and hard work and I'm so pleased it paid off in the end for him.

    .....and what to my wondering eyes should appear.....      nothing.......


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  • robwrightrobwright Frets: 595
    Brilliant work! I worked with similar young people at Kids Co before it’s sad demise and it was the most rewarding work i’ve ever done. Fully agree - why does it take schools/society so long to understand that different people need different kinds of support and motivation. But every success story like this shows that there is a way forward and that young people should never be written off! Politicians on the other hand .......



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