Here I am again...

Si_

Drummer bailed on us this morning. I think it' all over 1 gig we did a few weeks ago. He's been complaining and moaning about it ever since. We played in his local and it wasn't our best gig (a lot can be contributed to him on the night) and I think he got a bit of bad feedback from his friends about various things which has sent him into a spiral of emails, nit picking, and over criticism which ended as expected with him quitting. 

Very Pi$$ed off with him, and to be honest the rest of the band so i'm assuming it's now a dead horse. Plenty of gigs booked but going to have to cancel them due to being drummer less. We've been through a lot of lineup changes over the last 12 months and I really can't be bothered to go through it all again. I've done everything for this band while others sat back and did nothing, I got ALL of the gig bookings, did ALL of the promotion, organised EVERYTHING while the others did feck all. Even now with it all falling apart it's ME who's going to have to phone around and cancel all the gigs as none of them will do it.

/breath.....

I think i need to take a bit of a break from bands. I'm making  a big move soon hopefully, so was wanting to hold it together until then but maybe the timing works.

Time to sell 90% of my gear and just keep a few things.

monquixote

Wow it seems to be drummer quitting season. 

I feel for you. Just had a "What the feck do we do now our drummers quit" meeting with remaining band mates last night.

Si_

I don't think I'm going to bother with that meeting.. I think his leaving is my queue to rap it up. 

Hope yours turns out well.

monquixote

The others seem to be still on board and I have a couple of possible replacements in mind so hopefully it will be OK, but I felt very much like knocking it on the head when I got the email.

axisus

Sometimes I read about band hassles and I feel glad I never got into gigging. Must be great when it all goes well I guess.

monquixote

The only reason it sucks when it goes wrong is that when it goes right it's ace. 

Si_

It's when the wrongs override the rights that it becomes a PITA!

EricTheWeary

Here I go again on my own, walking down the only road I've ever known. Like a drifter I was born to walk alone, but I've made up my mind, I ain't wastin' no more time...

Sorry, where was I ?

Yeh in my relatively limited experience bands are a pain-pleasure balance so once you realise you are stuck in the red if you aren't doing it for a living then it is probably time to walk. 

Roland

We invest so much time and energy into making a band work that a set back can hit hard.  This might be the moment to give it up, or it might be the wrong decision which is hard to reverse.  A band is a team, and many of the most successful bands owe their success not to musical ability, but to staying together and working through the problems.

I would do two things.  First, sleep on it for 48 hours to let the emotional response subside.  Secondly, have the hard conversation with the remaining band members about whether they want to continue, and whether they want to take on more of the effort. 

digitalscream

monquixote said:

The others seem to be still on board and I have a couple of possible replacements in mind so hopefully it will be OK, but I felt very much like knocking it on the head when I got the email.

This is precisely why, when anything remotely contentious happens on the band email, I switch it off and go watch TV with the wife for a couple of hours. It's far too easy to react without thinking when you've got so much invested in it.

Ossyrocks

I've played in bands for 30 years now and seen this happen over and over.

What I've done is put together a set that I like (and hopefully the punters too) and then just have a roster of drummers and bass players who are good and who I can call on. There is one drummer and one bass player who I use probably more than the others, but if they can't make it/don't want to do it/have another gig, I just call someone else. 

The trick is not to be too fussy about structure, if you all know the basic tune and the players are of a good enough standard, then it's great fun. I've just added a keyboard player too, he's been over to my house a couple of times to run through stuff with me, just acoustic guitar and acoustic piano. Then last Thursday he played his first gig on which he met the drummer for the very first time. It was a great gig. 

Give it a try.

Rob.

ESBlonde

Si, If you have gigs it will be much easier to attract a drummer so don't bail yet. Good drummers will go where the work is and you personally have the work. If you want to weed one or two others out along the way so be it. But hang in their friend the results will be yours to enjoy.

supes

What went wrong at the last gig then, what's he annoyed about?

leerocker

easy get a dep in! show must go on!

johnnyurq

Holy moly is someone going around putting summat in drummers beers at the moment?

What a bummer mate but nil desperandum and see if it can be salvaged with a dep or new drummer. Of course if you aren't feeling it then maybe park it for now and come back to it at a later date.

Wait a while before doing any drastic selling up until you are sure. Good luck anyway dude.

ChrisMusic

Sit back and let it settle, emotions run high all round at times like this, and it's harder to retract a position after the fact.

Remember the same is true of others too.

An old true-ism   "ACTION  ~  NOT   REACTION"

Take a week out before you make any sort of decision, get yourself distracted and chilled and approach the future with a refreshed mind.  It works well for judging so many things in life.

Don't cancel any gigs,

Don't sell any gear,

Don't give up, you have invested too much of yourself to make a snap decision.

And like ossyrocks says, get a roster, then you can relax and enjoy the gigs.

Good luck...

Si_

I've got a 2nd band just starting off so I have options (a BritPop thing). Had to cancel 2 gigs as there is no time to get someone in for them. 

John_P

leerocker said:

easy get a dep in! show must go on!

Good plan for all bands is to have a list of people that could fill in a dep for any member - less that ideal if it's the singer but lifestuff happens and once in a while people can't do gigs. 
Most regularly gigging muso's have a network of similar good musicians they can call on.... I've done a ton of gigs at very short notice and had a great laugh and once in a while it turns into a regular gig.

Si_

Well, band meeting was tonight, we discussed things and we're calling it a day.. I personally think that's th right option, I think the band has ran it's course and it's time to put it to bed.

so, I'm officially now a bedroom player (at least until my Britpop bands gets going).

JAYJO

Si_ said:

Well, band meeting was tonight, we discussed things and we're calling it a day.. I personally think that's th right option, I think the band has ran it's course and it's time to put it to bed.

so, I'm officially now a bedroom player (at least until my Britpop bands gets going).

 Im afraid its not that simple. You can apply to be a bedroom player but its not a done deal!

        1. Have you slippers

        2  Full length mirror

        3  A Dream of stardom

        4  Headphones to disguise how shit you really are

        5  No room to swing a cat

        6  A pedal board you cant lift.

        7 Hard Rock cafe mug (similar will do)

        8 50ft Guitar lead (2 spares)

        9 100 picks (hidden never to be found)

       10 Air freshener.

digitalscream

johnnyurq said:

Holy moly is someone going around putting summat in drummers beers at the moment?

Indeed. Our drummer has only just got out of hospital - he went in with suspected glandular fever, turned out it was "...one of the worst cases of tonsilitis we've ever seen".

That's in additional to carpal tunnel and a bunch of other stuff...he's a damn good drummer despite all that, though, and he writes the half of the songs that I don't. He doesn't seem to understand that we actually need him alive....