I am having an off-day, work-wise.

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SporkySporky Frets: 27569
I mean, obviously, an off-day for me is still better than an on-day for most people, but I just don't feel that into it.

I've made some big improvements to our quote template, so that's nice. Finished a few quotes and sent them off to customers. Fielded some telephone calls from cow-orkers who could have just read the web page for the thing they're asking about. Had elevenses (a piece of marmalade fruit cake) and then lunch (broccoli and Shropshire Blue quiche).

I have a tender I should be working on but it's silly. What they've said they want can't be done cheaply, but they've skewed the scoring matrix towards low cost solutions. I know the people we're up against won't understand the full implications of the specification so will come in much cheaper, so I've got to work out how to slag off their design without making it obvious I overheard their conversations at the site walkaround.

And my new Freesat box only has one working tuner, so that needs packing up to return tomorrow.

Bit bored really.

As you were. :)
"[Sporky] brings a certain vibe and dignity to the forum."
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Comments

  • CarpeDiemCarpeDiem Frets: 274
    Perhaps you could emphasize the specification/feature differences in your tender to highlight their gaps/shortfalls? Hopefully, this will help brighten up your afternoon. If not, spend more time on here!
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  • SporkySporky Frets: 27569
    To be fair I do quite often get this about tenders. They're just not my happy place.

    I'll go and get the schematics drawn - that's always a good start.

    "[Sporky] brings a certain vibe and dignity to the forum."
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  • How does one Ork a Cow?
    Please note my communication is not very good, so please be patient with me
    soundcloud.com/thecolourbox-1
    youtube.com/@TheColourboxMusic
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  • SporkySporky Frets: 27569
    Slowly and painfully for all concerned.
    "[Sporky] brings a certain vibe and dignity to the forum."
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  • BridgehouseBridgehouse Frets: 24578
    I write a lot of tenders for public sector bodies - I am now pleased that my work is causing consternation. 

    ;)
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  • JezWyndJezWynd Frets: 6021
    It's Friday, shouldn't you be planning an early escape finish?
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  • SporkySporky Frets: 27569
    I write a lot of tenders for public sector bodies - I am now pleased that my work is causing consternation. 

    ;)
    I trust you put extra effort into making sure that any written specification, bill of quantities and drawings are inconsistent with both each other and several important laws of physics.

    JezWynd said:
    It's Friday, shouldn't you be planning an early escape finish?
    I'm working from home. Every moment is an early escape. :)
    "[Sporky] brings a certain vibe and dignity to the forum."
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  • BridgehouseBridgehouse Frets: 24578
    Sporky said:
    I write a lot of tenders for public sector bodies - I am now pleased that my work is causing consternation. 

    ;)
    I trust you put extra effort into making sure that any written specification, bill of quantities and drawings are inconsistent with both each other and several important laws of physics.

    Too damn right! If there aren't massive inconsistencies then nobody asks clarification questions and I don't get paid for answering them ;)
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  • SporkySporky Frets: 27569
    Sporky said:
    I write a lot of tenders for public sector bodies - I am now pleased that my work is causing consternation. 

    ;)
    I trust you put extra effort into making sure that any written specification, bill of quantities and drawings are inconsistent with both each other and several important laws of physics.

    Too damn right! If there aren't massive inconsistencies then nobody asks clarification questions and I don't get paid for answering them ;)
    Or, from my point of view as a sneaky git, if there aren't massive inconsistencies then it's harder to manipulate the scoring matrix...
    "[Sporky] brings a certain vibe and dignity to the forum."
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  • BridgehouseBridgehouse Frets: 24578
    Sporky said:
    Sporky said:
    I write a lot of tenders for public sector bodies - I am now pleased that my work is causing consternation. 

    ;)
    I trust you put extra effort into making sure that any written specification, bill of quantities and drawings are inconsistent with both each other and several important laws of physics.

    Too damn right! If there aren't massive inconsistencies then nobody asks clarification questions and I don't get paid for answering them ;)
    Or, from my point of view as a sneaky git, if there aren't massive inconsistencies then it's harder to manipulate the scoring matrix...
    :D 
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  • SporkySporky Frets: 27569
    I remember a public sector tender which should have resulted in bids around £150,000. I spotted that we could win it with a single £15 digital photo frame from Argos, but our MD wouldn't let me submit that. Shame - I reckon I'd have had no trouble getting the rest of the money out of them with a massive variation request...

    For reference, don't ever have a scoring matrix which says "Price: 100%" and has no penalty clauses for the bidders not complying with the specification.
    "[Sporky] brings a certain vibe and dignity to the forum."
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  • BridgehouseBridgehouse Frets: 24578
    Sporky said:
    I remember a public sector tender which should have resulted in bids around £150,000. I spotted that we could win it with a single £15 digital photo frame from Argos, but our MD wouldn't let me submit that. Shame - I reckon I'd have had no trouble getting the rest of the money out of them with a massive variation request...

    For reference, don't ever have a scoring matrix which says "Price: 100%" and has no penalty clauses for the bidders not complying with the specification.
    I've just written a framework SOR which has price:100% in it. 

    However, it's for energy per unit.. you have to be a registered supplier and you have to follow the government tariff guidelines.. :)
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  • RMJRMJ Frets: 1274
    I'm a bid manager...tenders are my life!
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  • I'd rather have a day off than an off day
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • DannyPDannyP Frets: 1667
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  • Sounds like you had a damn good lunch, though! :) 
    Got to be careful not to take too big a lunch and get the post-lunch snooze! :)
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  • PolarityManPolarityMan Frets: 7273
    Sporky said:

    I trust you put extra effort into making sure that any written specification, bill of quantities and drawings are inconsistent with both each other and several important laws of physics.


    I cant believe that you guys can make a scrap of paper that has "the moon on a stick" scribbled on it so complicated.
    ဈǝᴉʇsɐoʇǝsǝǝɥɔဪቌ
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  • LuttiSLuttiS Frets: 2243
    As of last Tuesday I'm off for 12 days..

    No Tenders,
    No phones,
    No colleagues,
    No work :)

    Took daughter for her first swim this morning, then went to bird sanctuary this afternoon. 

    Don't mind me, as your were chaps ;)
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  • SporkySporky Frets: 27569
    Sounds like you had a damn good lunch, though! :) 
    Lunch is definitely one of the six most important meals of the day. 
    "[Sporky] brings a certain vibe and dignity to the forum."
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