I don't understand your hobby

timbuk02

Having owned and sold a Boss AC3 this was rather apt.

Does your other half understand/sanction/tolerate your pedal addiction?

TheBigDipper

Tolerate? Yes. Understand? She thinks so, but she doesn't. Sanction? We've got a policy of shared money and "yours to do what you want with" money that is (audibly or visually, at least) not to be questioned when it gets spent - on tech, pedals, guitars, clothes, plants or shoes. 

Of course, we both know the other one is frittering it away on rubbish! And my lack of understanding on her stuff is just as great as her lack of understanding on mine.  

skunkwerx

I don't have any such problems! 

Nobody at home understands what any of my stuff does. 

Hobbys were often discouraged by my dad as a waste of time. 
I'd come home from work and have a jam, n he would come into my room and tell me to do the washing, change a light bulb, whatever. 

Id say, yeah later just playing guitar. 
He would often tell his then 16 year old son 'you spend too much time wasting your time mate, never gonna be Clapton are you?'. 

The idiocy of his own statement was lost on him. Because, well he is a fucking idiot. 

I suffered that type of shit from him since I wanted to play football with a team at about 7 or 8, then again doing archery at 14. He basically destroyed my confidence each time and I suffered and still do suffer a lot of mental blocks because of it, leading me to have to give up. 


Til I snapped at 25 that is and we squared off, him now half as wide and not as tall as me.. Now days, hes mellowed and changed retired and understanding. 

But my unwillingness to allow someone to control my hobby has remained. 
After the shared bills and any important or maintenance stuff has been paid, my money is mine!

octatonic

I don’t have these issues.
Mrs Oct is supremely enthusiastic for my life as a musician.
Even more than I am at times.

shaunm

My wife is happy with it. She can’t believe that I keep buying amps, guitars and pedals for £10 each. 

merlin

@skunkwerx I feel for you, I really do. And I deeply respect your determination to do what you gotta do. 

As some of you may know, I'm a clarinet/sax player by trade. I was taught piano and recorder from the age of four. When I got to seven, my parents asked if I wanted to play a "proper" instrument. Yes I know, in the right hands, a recorder really IS a proper instrument. 

So I asked if I could learn clarinet. They sought advice from the husband of an old friend of my mum's, who led the second violins in the Welsh National Opera Orchestra. Well the advice came back that I ought to learn flute, having small hands and immature teeth, and that I could graduate onto the clarinet when I was older. 

So I played the wimpy flute, got all my grades and then aged thirteen, got bored shitless of the classical flute repertoire, gave up, took up guitar and had the time of my life. When I reached 19 I decided that my single reed desires weren't met, so I begged, stole, borrowed and eventually acquired my own tenor sax. That's when my real life started as a musician. 

Played my ass of day and night, went to college, practised like a bastard and then when I got a gig playing sax and flute at the National Theatre in London, I was asked to stay on to the next show as MD. However, the composer wanted clarinet, not sax as the play was set in a sax free zone. I went out, bought a clarinet and practised every second of the day that I could, and by the end of the rehearsals I was leading the onstage band on clarinet. I felt like I'd come home. 

Music has saved my life in so many ways. And now back into guitar (which I play on about 1/5 of the gigs that I do, I feel settled and happy with where I am. Now, unlike guitars, I have my flute, clarinets and saxes and they are permanent in as much as they can be. One instrument in particular has been with me for 45 years. The next has been with me for 25. Go figure. 

My wife is also a musician, she's an amazing composer, singer and choir leader/teacher. She gets what having the right piano/instrument is about and she gets that I need occasionally(!) to change guitars and accepts that it's a journey. I play in a dup and trip with her on guitar and clarinet and she can tell when I'm with the right instrument for me. 

I'm one lucky so-and-so and always have gratitude to my parents (who pushed me slightly in the wrong direction at first) and to my amazing wife who gets this shit. 

thecolourbox

shaunm said:

My wife is happy with it. She can’t believe that I keep buying amps, guitars and pedals for £10 each. 

Oh what this old thing?!

My missus likes the idea of me doing music, but never gives me the chance to play anything and gets annoyed when I keep playing her stuff I've been recording

shaunm

thecolourbox said:

shaunm said:

My wife is happy with it. She can’t believe that I keep buying amps, guitars and pedals for £10 each. 

Oh what this old thing?!

My missus likes the idea of me doing music, but never gives me the chance to play anything and gets annoyed when I keep playing her stuff I've been recording

Haha! My wife got totally and utterly pissed off the other night at 11 o’clock on a night when I tried out my Bassman and JTM45 at the same time??? The playing must have been good as my 18 month old woke up to tell me too.

thecolourbox

skunkwerx said:

Id say, yeah later just playing guitar. 
He would often tell his then 16 year old son 'you spend too much time wasting your time mate, never gonna be Clapton are you?'. 

The idiocy of his own statement was lost on him. Because, well he is a fucking idiot. 

For what it's worth, the moment I start to sound like Clapton would be the moment I give up for good your dad was wrong and you were right

blowin

merlin said:

@skunkwerx I feel for you, I really do. And I deeply respect your determination to do what you gotta do. 

As some of you may know, I'm a clarinet/sax player by trade. I was taught piano and recorder from the age of four. When I got to seven, my parents asked if I wanted to play a "proper" instrument. Yes I know, in the right hands, a recorder really IS a proper instrument. 

So I asked if I could learn clarinet. They sought advice from the husband of an old friend of my mum's, who led the second violins in the Welsh National Opera Orchestra. Well the advice came back that I ought to learn flute, having small hands and immature teeth, and that I could graduate onto the clarinet when I was older. 

So I played the wimpy flute, got all my grades and then aged thirteen, got bored shitless of the classical flute repertoire, gave up, took up guitar and had the time of my life. When I reached 19 I decided that my single reed desires weren't met, so I begged, stole, borrowed and eventually acquired my own tenor sax. That's when my real life started as a musician. 

Played my ass of day and night, went to college, practised like a bastard and then when I got a gig playing sax and flute at the National Theatre in London, I was asked to stay on to the next show as MD. However, the composer wanted clarinet, not sax as the play was set in a sax free zone. I went out, bought a clarinet and practised every second of the day that I could, and by the end of the rehearsals I was leading the onstage band on clarinet. I felt like I'd come home. 

Music has saved my life in so many ways. And now back into guitar (which I play on about 1/5 of the gigs that I do, I feel settled and happy with where I am. Now, unlike guitars, I have my flute, clarinets and saxes and they are permanent in as much as they can be. One instrument in particular has been with me for 45 years. The next has been with me for 25. Go figure. 

My wife is also a musician, she's an amazing composer, singer and choir leader/teacher. She gets what having the right piano/instrument is about and she gets that I need occasionally(!) to change guitars and accepts that it's a journey. I play in a dup and trip with her on guitar and clarinet and she can tell when I'm with the right instrument for me. 

I'm one lucky so-and-so and always have gratitude to my parents (who pushed me slightly in the wrong direction at first) and to my amazing wife who gets this shit. 

Strange how sometimes the 'right' instrument doesn't come along at the start.

I bought my son an electric guitar, made him playlists, found him a teacher, tried to get him to play stuff with me - six months later he'd hardly progressed at all.

Against my 'better judgement' I then got him an alto sax and he joined a Saturday morning wind group at a local school. Three months later and I cannot believe how good he sounds.

Reading that back, it appears that I'm the problem. Although in my defence we're now jamming almost daily.

joetele

Usual story here - my wife understands how much I love playing guitar and I get to escape for band practice once a month and play a few evenings a week with headphones, but she doesn't understand why I need so many pedals or need more than one electric guitar. 

guitarfishbay

Yeah, and likewise me towards her interests.  We have some shared interests and some separate ones.  I couldn't be in a relationship where that wasn't normal.

thecolourbox

The trouble is, my better half's hobby is baking cakes, so it feels like the output of my hobby is feeble compared to actual cake, with icing or butter cream especially.

Legionreturns

Many evenings at Legion Towers are spent with us both using our free time for our hobbies, usually at opposite ends of the same sofa. 

Mrs R has no issue with me noodling, although she often draws the line at drums. 

She's pretty happy as long as it doesn't interfere with her favourite hobby: marking 30 sets of maths/ English work. Can't see the attraction myself. 

guitarfishbay

thecolourbox said:

The trouble is, my better half's hobby is baking cakes, so it feels like the output of my hobby is feeble compared to actual cake, with icing or butter cream especially.

It's not really about ranking hobby outcomes though, it's more about enjoyment.  And recognising it is important to the other person to have space to do things they are interested in.

However she has transitioned into full time freelancing in what is her hobby this year.  So she's often working long hours which gives me time to play music.

Dominic

My wife and children including the adult ones all think the electric guitar is a nasty screechy instrument and don't like the sound of it and keep telling me my acoustic guitar is so much nicer.
 

thecolourbox

Dominic said:

My wife and children including the adult ones all think the electric guitar is a nasty screechy instrument and don't like the sound of it and keep telling me my acoustic guitar is so much nicer.
 

They're wrong, they're wrong, don't believe them

guitarfishbay

If you had a bigger amp it'd have more low end and sound less screechy.  I think that's what they're trying to tell you anyway.

thecolourbox

guitarfishbay said:

If you had a bigger amp it'd have more low end and sound less screechy.  I think that's what they're trying to tell you anyway.

Either that or what you are playing is a lead guitar, therefore if you also bought a rhythm guitar you'd be sorted

Winny_Pooh

guitarfishbay said:

If you had a bigger amp it'd have more low end and sound less screechy.  I think that's what they're trying to tell you anyway.

Yep, you won't be able to hear them anyway if you buy that Tonemaster in the classifieds.

Grumpyrocker

After my first wife died I didn't play guitar for a while. 

It was my second wife who got me back into playing. She encouraged me, bought me some gear. And she got me involved in a wedding band and we played a great gig. A couple of years later she bought me a Les Paul.

I don't have to explain my love of music and guitar gear to my wife. She gets it completely. And she plays piano and sings herself.