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fretmeisterfretmeister Frets: 10706
https://www.joinmyband.co.uk/classifieds/the-visionettes-a-4-piece-band-need-a-bass-playera-drummer-t1130635.html

"THE VISIONETTES IS MY PROJECT.IM A 48 YR OLD MUSICIAN/PRODUCER I CURRENTLY WORK AS A SOLO COMPOSER /PRODUCER FOR ELECTRONIC FILM SCORE I ALSO DJ AT VARIOUS LOCATIONS SOME VERY ETHERIAL OTHERS DANCEFLOOR BASED.THE VISIONETTES BEGAN LAST YEAR AS MY IDEA TO CREATE A BAND WITH GIRLS ALL OF WHICH WERE GREAT DANCERS BVUT HADNT EVER PLAYED AN INSTRUMENT OR BEEN IN A BAND BEFORE I WANTED TO TEACH THEM THAT THEY COULD USE THERE UNDERSTANDING OF RHYTHM WHICH THEY PORTRAY THROUGH DANCE TO PLAY VERY SIMPLIFIED GROOVE BASED RIFFS/LINES ON INSTRUMENTS,APPLYING A PUNK ETHIC TO CREATING ORIGINAL URBAN MUSIC OUR BRITISH VERSION OF R'n'B/DANCEHALL/GARAGE/TAMLA MOTOWN ANOTHER BAND IN CULT HISTORY IS E.S.G. LATE 70'S EARLY 80'S BRONX NYC BLACK FEMALE BAND PLAYING FUNK/DISCO WITH PUNK ATTITUDE.THE VISIONETTES HAD NO INTENTION OF WANTING TO SOUND LIKE ESG JUST APPLYING THE SAME ETHIC TODAY.SO IN A NUTSHELL I HAVE MATERIAL WRITTEN ALTHOUGH COLLABORATIVE IDEAS WILL MAKE THIS WORK BEST NOW IVE ARRIVED AT A POINT WHEREAS I WANT A BASS PLAYER THAT IS AMAZING YOU MUST PASS A TOUGH AUDITION PREFERABLY YOU SHOULD BE A DUB/REGGAE BASSIST YOU MUST UNDERSTAND RHYTHM UNITS IN GROUPS LIKE P.I.L.(1979) SLY+ROBBIE,THINK STUDIO 1 ROCKSTEADY,TAMLA MOTOWN,THE SLITS,THE UPSETTERS,LIQUID LIQUID,CAN,FAUST,ZAZOU BIKAYE,BURIAL,SKEPTA NO RESTRICTIONS IN AGE ETHNICITY,LOOKS COLUR ALL I REQUIRE IS THE RIGHT FEEL IF WE GET IT RIGHT IVE GOT THE CHANNELS IN PLACE FOR THE RELEASE OF RECORDS RADIO 1 XTRA LATE NIGHT AIRPLAY AND THIS BAND IS GOING TO BE AN EQUAL % SPLIT AS WRITERS PLAYERS PERFORMERS ETC WE HAVE PROF LAWYER TO GET ALL LEGAL PAPERWORK DONE.IM THE PRODUCER AND JACOB IS MY SOUND ENGINEER ALSO I HAVE REGULAR PAID JOBS COMING IN WHICH I ALWAYS NEED DRUMMER/PERCUSSIONISTS AND BASS PLAYERS ON A TOTALLY SEPERATE PROJECT WHICH I COMPOSE MUSIC FOR FILMS AND TV/DOCUMENTARY PROGRAMMES THIS WORK KEEPS THINGS TICKING OVER FINANCIALLY AND ENABLES THED VISIONETTES TO BE OUR FOCUS UNCOMPROMISED PROJECT.I AM A WHITE BRITISH WORKING CLASS BLOKE I BELIEVE IN HARD WORK FOCUSED DISCIPLINED AND ALSO WE CAN HAVE TIME OFF TO PARTY BUT WE DO NOT GET DRUNK/STONED/WASTED AT WORK IF THATS YOU?DONT APPLY THANKS I.C.G."


Strewth!

This space is for rent.

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Comments

  • FX_MunkeeFX_Munkee Frets: 2214
    My eyes hurt.
    Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame, you give love a bad name. Not to mention archery tuition.
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  • MusicwolfMusicwolf Frets: 235

    It's an age thing.  At 48 you forget how to turn the CapsLock off (says the 55 year old)

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  • sgosdensgosden Frets: 853
    "..I WANTED TO TEACH THEM THAT THEY COULD USE THERE UNDERSTANDING OF RHYTHM... "

    sounds more like a bespoke fetish role play advert...


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  • merlinmerlin Frets: 1921
    SOUNDS GREAT I'D LOVE TO GIVE IT A GO PERHAPS I'LL WRITE TO HIM AND LET YOU ALL KNOW HOW I GET ON
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  • Flanging_FredFlanging_Fred Frets: 1989
    I’m not sure I understand this correctly.

    A white middle aged bloke wants to employ a female dancer that has no experience of playing a musical instrument.  Said applicant should be an amazing bass player with deep knowledge of funk and Motown and pass a tough audition.

    And then presumably he will shout at them a lot. Maybe that’s why they need a lawyer.

    #confused
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  • Flanging_FredFlanging_Fred Frets: 1989
    Does anyone find this easier to read while wearing earplugs?
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 15345
    It's much better with an eye mask.
    Trump: A narcissistic luminous orange ball bag and Rome burning in man form.
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  • p90foolp90fool Frets: 11428
    I’m not sure I understand this correctly.
    You didn't. He has the dancing girls, he now needs a bass player of any age,ethnicity or looks. 
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  • guitartangoguitartango Frets: 217
    hE MAkeS SyD bArreTT sEeM nOrMaL
    Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
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  • DopesickDopesick Frets: 1133
    That's not a scooner it's a sail boat!
    FS: Source Audio Gemini Chorus - £75
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  • JAYJOJAYJO Frets: 1036
    https://www.joinmyband.co.uk/classifieds/the-visionettes-a-4-piece-band-need-a-bass-playera-drummer-t1130635.html

    "THE VISIONETTES IS MY PROJECT.IM A 48 YR OLD MUSICIAN/PRODUCER I CURRENTLY WORK AS A SOLO COMPOSER /PRODUCER FOR ELECTRONIC FILM SCORE I ALSO DJ AT VARIOUS LOCATIONS SOME VERY ETHERIAL OTHERS DANCEFLOOR BASED.THE VISIONETTES BEGAN LAST YEAR AS MY IDEA TO CREATE A BAND WITH GIRLS ALL OF WHICH WERE GREAT DANCERS BVUT HADNT EVER PLAYED AN INSTRUMENT OR BEEN IN A BAND BEFORE I WANTED TO TEACH THEM THAT THEY COULD USE THERE UNDERSTANDING OF RHYTHM WHICH THEY PORTRAY THROUGH DANCE TO PLAY VERY SIMPLIFIED GROOVE BASED RIFFS/LINES ON INSTRUMENTS,APPLYING A PUNK ETHIC TO CREATING ORIGINAL URBAN MUSIC OUR BRITISH VERSION OF R'n'B/DANCEHALL/GARAGE/TAMLA MOTOWN ANOTHER BAND IN CULT HISTORY IS E.S.G. LATE 70'S EARLY 80'S BRONX NYC BLACK FEMALE BAND PLAYING FUNK/DISCO WITH PUNK ATTITUDE.THE VISIONETTES HAD NO INTENTION OF WANTING TO SOUND LIKE ESG JUST APPLYING THE SAME ETHIC TODAY.SO IN A NUTSHELL I HAVE MATERIAL WRITTEN ALTHOUGH COLLABORATIVE IDEAS WILL MAKE THIS WORK BEST NOW IVE ARRIVED AT A POINT WHEREAS I WANT A BASS PLAYER THAT IS AMAZING YOU MUST PASS A TOUGH AUDITION PREFERABLY YOU SHOULD BE A DUB/REGGAE BASSIST YOU MUST UNDERSTAND RHYTHM UNITS IN GROUPS LIKE P.I.L.(1979) SLY+ROBBIE,THINK STUDIO 1 ROCKSTEADY,TAMLA MOTOWN,THE SLITS,THE UPSETTERS,LIQUID LIQUID,CAN,FAUST,ZAZOU BIKAYE,BURIAL,SKEPTA NO RESTRICTIONS IN AGE ETHNICITY,LOOKS COLUR ALL I REQUIRE IS THE RIGHT FEEL IF WE GET IT RIGHT IVE GOT THE CHANNELS IN PLACE FOR THE RELEASE OF RECORDS RADIO 1 XTRA LATE NIGHT AIRPLAY AND THIS BAND IS GOING TO BE AN EQUAL % SPLIT AS WRITERS PLAYERS PERFORMERS ETC WE HAVE PROF LAWYER TO GET ALL LEGAL PAPERWORK DONE.IM THE PRODUCER AND JACOB IS MY SOUND ENGINEER ALSO I HAVE REGULAR PAID JOBS COMING IN WHICH I ALWAYS NEED DRUMMER/PERCUSSIONISTS AND BASS PLAYERS ON A TOTALLY SEPERATE PROJECT WHICH I COMPOSE MUSIC FOR FILMS AND TV/DOCUMENTARY PROGRAMMES THIS WORK KEEPS THINGS TICKING OVER FINANCIALLY AND ENABLES THED VISIONETTES TO BE OUR FOCUS UNCOMPROMISED PROJECT.I AM A WHITE BRITISH WORKING CLASS BLOKE I BELIEVE IN HARD WORK FOCUSED DISCIPLINED AND ALSO WE CAN HAVE TIME OFF TO PARTY BUT WE DO NOT GET DRUNK/STONED/WASTED AT WORK IF THATS YOU?DONT APPLY THANKS I.C.G.           


    " WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE.......


    Strewth!

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  • MrBumpMrBump Frets: 698
    Reading that was a chore.

    I half expected something about transferring money to his Zimbabwe bank account at the bottom.
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  • ColsCols Frets: 654
    Dopesick said:
    That's not a scooner it's a sail boat!
    A schooner is a sailboat, stupidhead.
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  • Quite genuinely think that the musical outpuyt of that could be really interesting. However I suspect that the author will be far too difficult to work with to make it happen! 
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  • bingefellerbingefeller Frets: 5628
    Jacob will sort it.
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  • hootsmonhootsmon Frets: 10869
    He's white you know
    tae be or not tae be
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  • heavyrockerheavyrocker Frets: 802
    hootsmon said:
    He's white you know
    And working class! What does he want, a feckin’ prize?
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  • PC_DavePC_Dave Frets: 1778
    Can I have a copy of the advert in braille please? Might make more sense to me.
    This week's procrastination forum might be moved to sometime next week.
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  • merlinmerlin Frets: 1921
    hootsmon said:
    He's white you know
    And working class! What does he want, a feckin’ prize?
    AND MIDDLE AGED. 
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  • fastonebazfastonebaz Frets: 566
    I placed a similar advert once looking for inexperienced girls to come and dance for me in my private studio.  And the last thing i remember, your Honour, was the swat team crashing through the windows.
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  • fandangofandango Frets: 1375
    Jacob will sort it.
    For some reason, I read "Jim'll fix it"
    We choose to go to the Moon! We choose to go to the Moon...We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organise and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win, and the others, too." JF Kennedy 1963.

    For Sale: Apple MacBook Pro (http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/133742/fs-apple-macbook-pro-15-retina-995?new=1)
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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 12872
    Ouch! I'm not even going to pretend to read that humongous great wall of letters. What sort of twat types everything in caps.
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  • LuttiSLuttiS Frets: 1596
    axisus said:
    Ouch! I'm not even going to pretend to read that humongous great wall of letters. What sort of twat types everything in caps.
    JUSTAMIDDLEAGEDWHITEMANWHOHASAPOINTTOGETACROSS.THEMANHASCONNECTIONSTOTVDOCUMENTRYSANDAJACOB.JACOBWILLSORTIT.
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  • LegionreturnsLegionreturns Frets: 5994
    #jacobcan 

    My Trading Feedback    |    You Bring The Band

    Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you
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  • JAYJOJAYJO Frets: 1036
    axisus said:
    Ouch! I'm not even going to pretend to read that humongous great wall of letters. What sort of twat types everything in caps.
    peaky Blinder !
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  • 57Deluxe57Deluxe Frets: 6619

    <Vintage BOSS Upgrades>
    __________________________________
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  • sev112sev112 Frets: 577
    So he’s circa 76 years old - right on dude
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  • KebabkidKebabkid Frets: 1642
    Oh dear.

    This was a funny one from Craigslist about 6 years ago and it did the rounds:-

    POST:
    Bass player available for PAYING GIGS ONLY. I play G, C, D. If your songs are not in G, please transpose them into G. If your song has an Em or Bm or anything off The Wall I will probably sit out that chord. Or I could learn those notes for $30 each. If you want me to do fancy stuff like go back and forth between G and D while you hold a G chord, forget it because I'm a "pocket" player. Minimum $100 per gig within a 5 mile radius of 39202. $5 per mile travel charge for other areas out of town. Please make sure your gigs are on a JATRAN bus route, or you can pick me up at my place. Must be home by 11pm due to previous legal hassles. No gigs within 500 yards of schools, parks, or playgrounds.

     www.cairoeast.co.uk - Madness Tribute band (Bass Player) and guitarist elsewhere
    Feedback - http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/57885/
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