I wish someone would invent...

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Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 14066
This is a thread for you to say what gadget it is that you wish someone would invent.  Try to resist the temptation to put "hilarious" adolescent answers like "A robotic supermodel that can suck the chrome off a bumper" etc, or extreme answers like "Clean nuclear power" - just objects, tools, day-to-day items that would make your life easier.

Mine:  I wish someone would invent a device that could synchronise MIDI devices to a live drummer.  Something that can recognise the position in the song and exactly follow the tempo the drummer is producing.

   
Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
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  • LodiousLodious Frets: 851
    A device that makes cables stay when you pass them up behind a desk for just long enough to get from under the desk and grab them. 
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  • BRISTOL86BRISTOL86 Frets: 1583
    A machine to get me out of bed and ready for work in the morning like the Jetsons had!
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  • beed84beed84 Frets: 1322
    A cold pillow during the summer.
    "We are all just actors trying to control and manage our public image, we act based on how others might see us" – Erving Goffman
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  • mgawmgaw Frets: 2685
    edited January 12
    something that stops @Emp_Fab creating click bait nonsense threads ALL the time...I know how about a job:)
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  • gringopiggringopig Frets: 954
    A machine which would change the duvet sheet and get all the corners snug and filled so you don't pull up a flappy bit of duvet cover to your face when getting comfy.
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  • ICBMICBM Frets: 34726
    Emp_Fab said:

    Mine:  I wish someone would invent a device that could synchronise MIDI devices to a live drummer.  Something that can recognise the position in the song and exactly follow the tempo the drummer is producing.
    This exists - or at least something close to it - it's called a Kahler Human Clock. Made in the 1980s by the same company that did the locking vibrato units, surprisingly!

    It now appears to be very rare, and the concept apparently never caught on - so either it didn't work properly, or it was superceded by some other hardware or software solution...


    Mine would be a hardware multi-FX unit which doesn't come with any actual effects, but instead allows you to buy them online and download into the unit via wi-fi or Bluetooth, like a universal version of TC Toneprint crossed with the App Store, accessed from a phone or tablet. Each module should have a number of physical knobs to control the main parameters in use, and further tweakability from the remote device. Independent developers would have access to the store to sell their own creations.

    I may be overlooking something like this that already exists, but if it does I haven't come across it.
    "Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone."
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 14066
    Wis for that.  Flappy duvet face is most irritating !
    Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
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  • ICBM said:
    Emp_Fab said:

    Mine:  I wish someone would invent a device that could synchronise MIDI devices to a live drummer.  Something that can recognise the position in the song and exactly follow the tempo the drummer is producing.
    This exists - or at least something close to it - it's called a Kahler Human Clock. Made in the 1980s by the same company that did the locking vibrato units, surprisingly!

    It now appears to be very rare, and the concept apparently never caught on - so either it didn't work properly, or it was superceded by some other hardware or software solution...
    https://www.ableton.com/en/packs/beatseeker/

    My Channel: Wires Dream Disasters --- My Band: Tacoma Narrows Bridge Disaster --- My Studio: Orogenic Productions (website coming)
    Disclosure: I'm an audio engineer, product owner, and content developer working for FXpansion Audio UK Ltd.
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  • ICBMICBM Frets: 34726
    ICBM said:
    Emp_Fab said:

    Mine:  I wish someone would invent a device that could synchronise MIDI devices to a live drummer.  Something that can recognise the position in the song and exactly follow the tempo the drummer is producing.
    This exists - or at least something close to it - it's called a Kahler Human Clock. Made in the 1980s by the same company that did the locking vibrato units, surprisingly!

    It now appears to be very rare, and the concept apparently never caught on - so either it didn't work properly, or it was superceded by some other hardware or software solution...
    https://www.ableton.com/en/packs/beatseeker/

    Thanks!

    Actually, you might be the very man to answer the other bit too. Do you know of anything like that, and if there isn't, do you know anyone who knows enough about all that sort of tech to put the concept together? I assume it would need the backing of a fairly big company because there's a lot to get off the ground all at one go, but I really have no idea...
    "Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone."
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  • vizviz Frets: 5150
    Like a microwave that can chill instead of heat up. So many times as young parents we over-warmed a bottle and needed to cool it quickly. 
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  • WazmeisterWazmeister Frets: 4246
    edited January 12
    A 747 that anyone could fly... :)
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  • ICBM said:
    ICBM said:
    Emp_Fab said:

    Mine:  I wish someone would invent a device that could synchronise MIDI devices to a live drummer.  Something that can recognise the position in the song and exactly follow the tempo the drummer is producing.
    This exists - or at least something close to it - it's called a Kahler Human Clock. Made in the 1980s by the same company that did the locking vibrato units, surprisingly!

    It now appears to be very rare, and the concept apparently never caught on - so either it didn't work properly, or it was superceded by some other hardware or software solution...
    https://www.ableton.com/en/packs/beatseeker/

    Thanks!

    Actually, you might be the very man to answer the other bit too. Do you know of anything like that, and if there isn't, do you know anyone who knows enough about all that sort of tech to put the concept together? I assume it would need the backing of a fairly big company because there's a lot to get off the ground all at one go, but I really have no idea...
    I'm afraid I don't. Many people have tried something along those lines, the Muse Receptor being the most successful I'd say.

    It's actually a huge technical challenge, and I don't think it's possible personally. Too many different specifications to bring together.
    My Channel: Wires Dream Disasters --- My Band: Tacoma Narrows Bridge Disaster --- My Studio: Orogenic Productions (website coming)
    Disclosure: I'm an audio engineer, product owner, and content developer working for FXpansion Audio UK Ltd.
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  • BellycasterBellycaster Frets: 2676
    gringopig said:
    A machine which would change the duvet sheet and get all the corners snug and filled so you don't pull up a flappy bit of duvet cover to your face when getting comfy.
    You don't need one, just do this @gringopig ;

    Watch from 1:12



    I bet you watch it more than once as well ;)
    Conformity is the new Rebellion.
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  • mgawmgaw Frets: 2685
    /\ that is the single most useful bit of advice I have got from the Fretboard :)
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  • BellycasterBellycaster Frets: 2676
    I wish someone would invent a buyer for my Classifieds Stuff  B)
    Conformity is the new Rebellion.
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  • thumpingrugthumpingrug Frets: 1379
    gringopig said:
    A machine which would change the duvet sheet and get all the corners snug and filled so you don't pull up a flappy bit of duvet cover to your face when getting comfy.
    You don't need one, just do this @gringopig ;

    Watch from 1:12



    I bet you watch it more than once as well ;)
    Isn't that what everyone does?

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  • How about a self tuning guitar? You tell it what tuning you want, it whirrs and clicks and a second or two later, there it is, perfectly in tune. 

    A bit like the one Gibson / Tronical do, only working and reliable. ;) 

    My Trading Feedback    |    You Bring The Band

    Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you
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  • Winny_PoohWinny_Pooh Frets: 3261
    Anti-salt, like when you fuckup and over salt during cooking and want to save the meal.


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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 14066
    Now THAT is a good idea !
    Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
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  • fandangofandango Frets: 1233
    gringopig said:
    A machine which would change the duvet sheet and get all the corners snug and filled so you don't pull up a flappy bit of duvet cover to your face when getting comfy.
    You don't need one, just do this @gringopig ;

    Watch from 1:12



    I bet you watch it more than once as well ;)
    Well, pickle my feathers, that’s going to be some timesaver!

    Didn't need to watch it again, she’s coming round soon.  ;)
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  • HattigolHattigol Frets: 1891
    A cable which doesn't have an innate ability to tie a range of knots in itself whilst hiding in a gigbag.
    "Anybody can play. The note is only 20%. The attitude of the motherf*cker who plays it is  80%" - Miles Davis
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  • Phil_aka_PipPhil_aka_Pip Frets: 9473
    @gringopig my ex gf showed me how to do that (before she was ex). probably the most useful thing she ever showed me
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • gringopiggringopig Frets: 954
    gringopig said:
    A machine which would change the duvet sheet and get all the corners snug and filled so you don't pull up a flappy bit of duvet cover to your face when getting comfy.
    You don't need one, just do this @gringopig ;

    Watch from 1:12



    I bet you watch it more than once as well ;)
    Well. There you go lol. I spent hours of my life stuffing the duvet into the cover. I did watch it more than once haha
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  • vizviz Frets: 5150
    It’s a south african / australian method, they all do it that way over there. 
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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 7488


    Mine would be a hardware multi-FX unit which doesn't come with any actual effects, but instead allows you to buy them online and download into the unit via wi-fi or Bluetooth, like a universal version of TC Toneprint crossed with the App Store, accessed from a phone or tablet. Each module should have a number of physical knobs to control the main parameters in use, and further tweakability from the remote device. Independent developers would have access to the store to sell their own creations.

    I may be overlooking something like this that already exists, but if it does I haven't come across it.
    There are things a bit like that but no one has ever really run with the concept. The idea of a Tabla Rasa multi FX has long seemed good to me.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Anyway back to the inventions,  I was reminiscing earlier about some gigs I played in buildings with high ceilings, hard surfaces,etc, and thought that someone should invent an anti reverb pedal. 

    I'd also like an expandable car. Small car but you can enlarge sections to carry more luggage turning it into a big car if need be. One vehicle that does tiny city car stuff and can accommodate a family and luggage on holiday. But not a roof rack or a trailer. 
    Dum dum dum, dum dum de dum, dum dum dum, dum dummmm.
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  • richardhomerrichardhomer Frets: 19487
    An ‘anti-addiction’ programme - one that could stop you over-eating, drinking too much and wasting your life on the Fretboard....
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  • Phil_aka_PipPhil_aka_Pip Frets: 9473
    @EricTheWeary a legal telescopic cut&shut?
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 7488
    @EricTheWeary a legal telescopic cut&shut?
    Yeh, pretty much.

    You can buy a motorhome with hydraulic sides, so they expand out and the vehicle is wider when you are parked up so that kind of idea but lengthwise. And in a car. 
    Dum dum dum, dum dum de dum, dum dum dum, dum dummmm.
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  • Phil_aka_PipPhil_aka_Pip Frets: 9473
    @EricTheWeary a legal telescopic cut&shut?
    Yeh, pretty much.

    You can buy a motorhome with hydraulic sides, so they expand out and the vehicle is wider when you are parked up so that kind of idea but lengthwise. And in a car. 
    Yep I think I'd like one of those :)
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • Phil_aka_PipPhil_aka_Pip Frets: 9473
    Whatever chemicals they put in cat food to make it smell nice to a cat, I'd like a tin of double-strength dose of it for when Roobi decides not to eat something that she's hitherto been eating without complaint.
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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