I wish someone would invent...

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Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 15349
This is a thread for you to say what gadget it is that you wish someone would invent.  Try to resist the temptation to put "hilarious" adolescent answers like "A robotic supermodel that can suck the chrome off a bumper" etc, or extreme answers like "Clean nuclear power" - just objects, tools, day-to-day items that would make your life easier.

Mine:  I wish someone would invent a device that could synchronise MIDI devices to a live drummer.  Something that can recognise the position in the song and exactly follow the tempo the drummer is producing.

   
Trump: A narcissistic luminous orange ball bag and Rome burning in man form.
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  • LodiousLodious Frets: 934
    A device that makes cables stay when you pass them up behind a desk for just long enough to get from under the desk and grab them. 
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  • BRISTOL86BRISTOL86 Frets: 1682
    A machine to get me out of bed and ready for work in the morning like the Jetsons had!
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  • beed84beed84 Frets: 1414
    A cold pillow during the summer.
    "It's not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it" – Seneca
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  • mgawmgaw Frets: 3194
    edited January 12
    something that stops @Emp_Fab creating click bait nonsense threads ALL the time...I know how about a job:)
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  • gringopiggringopig Frets: 1301
    A machine which would change the duvet sheet and get all the corners snug and filled so you don't pull up a flappy bit of duvet cover to your face when getting comfy.
    I am fully sated now with amps and guitars. God help me.
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  • ICBMICBM Frets: 38186
    Emp_Fab said:

    Mine:  I wish someone would invent a device that could synchronise MIDI devices to a live drummer.  Something that can recognise the position in the song and exactly follow the tempo the drummer is producing.
    This exists - or at least something close to it - it's called a Kahler Human Clock. Made in the 1980s by the same company that did the locking vibrato units, surprisingly!

    It now appears to be very rare, and the concept apparently never caught on - so either it didn't work properly, or it was superceded by some other hardware or software solution...


    Mine would be a hardware multi-FX unit which doesn't come with any actual effects, but instead allows you to buy them online and download into the unit via wi-fi or Bluetooth, like a universal version of TC Toneprint crossed with the App Store, accessed from a phone or tablet. Each module should have a number of physical knobs to control the main parameters in use, and further tweakability from the remote device. Independent developers would have access to the store to sell their own creations.

    I may be overlooking something like this that already exists, but if it does I haven't come across it.
    "Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone." - Walt Kowalski

    "Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand." - Homer Simpson
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 15349
    Wis for that.  Flappy duvet face is most irritating !
    Trump: A narcissistic luminous orange ball bag and Rome burning in man form.
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  • ICBM said:
    Emp_Fab said:

    Mine:  I wish someone would invent a device that could synchronise MIDI devices to a live drummer.  Something that can recognise the position in the song and exactly follow the tempo the drummer is producing.
    This exists - or at least something close to it - it's called a Kahler Human Clock. Made in the 1980s by the same company that did the locking vibrato units, surprisingly!

    It now appears to be very rare, and the concept apparently never caught on - so either it didn't work properly, or it was superceded by some other hardware or software solution...
    https://www.ableton.com/en/packs/beatseeker/

    TACOMA NARROWS BRIDGE DISASTER
    Verified Internet Hate-Agent.
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  • ICBMICBM Frets: 38186
    ICBM said:
    Emp_Fab said:

    Mine:  I wish someone would invent a device that could synchronise MIDI devices to a live drummer.  Something that can recognise the position in the song and exactly follow the tempo the drummer is producing.
    This exists - or at least something close to it - it's called a Kahler Human Clock. Made in the 1980s by the same company that did the locking vibrato units, surprisingly!

    It now appears to be very rare, and the concept apparently never caught on - so either it didn't work properly, or it was superceded by some other hardware or software solution...
    https://www.ableton.com/en/packs/beatseeker/

    Thanks!

    Actually, you might be the very man to answer the other bit too. Do you know of anything like that, and if there isn't, do you know anyone who knows enough about all that sort of tech to put the concept together? I assume it would need the backing of a fairly big company because there's a lot to get off the ground all at one go, but I really have no idea...
    "Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone." - Walt Kowalski

    "Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand." - Homer Simpson
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  • vizviz Frets: 5435
    Like a microwave that can chill instead of heat up. So many times as young parents we over-warmed a bottle and needed to cool it quickly. 
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  • WazmeisterWazmeister Frets: 4791
    edited January 12
    A 747 that anyone could fly... :)
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  • ICBM said:
    ICBM said:
    Emp_Fab said:

    Mine:  I wish someone would invent a device that could synchronise MIDI devices to a live drummer.  Something that can recognise the position in the song and exactly follow the tempo the drummer is producing.
    This exists - or at least something close to it - it's called a Kahler Human Clock. Made in the 1980s by the same company that did the locking vibrato units, surprisingly!

    It now appears to be very rare, and the concept apparently never caught on - so either it didn't work properly, or it was superceded by some other hardware or software solution...
    https://www.ableton.com/en/packs/beatseeker/

    Thanks!

    Actually, you might be the very man to answer the other bit too. Do you know of anything like that, and if there isn't, do you know anyone who knows enough about all that sort of tech to put the concept together? I assume it would need the backing of a fairly big company because there's a lot to get off the ground all at one go, but I really have no idea...
    I'm afraid I don't. Many people have tried something along those lines, the Muse Receptor being the most successful I'd say.

    It's actually a huge technical challenge, and I don't think it's possible personally. Too many different specifications to bring together.
    TACOMA NARROWS BRIDGE DISASTER
    Verified Internet Hate-Agent.
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  • BellycasterBellycaster Frets: 3134
    gringopig said:
    A machine which would change the duvet sheet and get all the corners snug and filled so you don't pull up a flappy bit of duvet cover to your face when getting comfy.
    You don't need one, just do this @gringopig ;

    Watch from 1:12



    I bet you watch it more than once as well ;)
    What can be done against the Lunatic that is more intelligent than yourself?
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  • mgawmgaw Frets: 3194
    /\ that is the single most useful bit of advice I have got from the Fretboard :)
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  • BellycasterBellycaster Frets: 3134
    I wish someone would invent a buyer for my Classifieds Stuff  B)
    What can be done against the Lunatic that is more intelligent than yourself?
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  • thumpingrugthumpingrug Frets: 1531
    gringopig said:
    A machine which would change the duvet sheet and get all the corners snug and filled so you don't pull up a flappy bit of duvet cover to your face when getting comfy.
    You don't need one, just do this @gringopig ;

    Watch from 1:12



    I bet you watch it more than once as well ;)
    Isn't that what everyone does?

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  • How about a self tuning guitar? You tell it what tuning you want, it whirrs and clicks and a second or two later, there it is, perfectly in tune. 

    A bit like the one Gibson / Tronical do, only working and reliable. ;) 

    My Trading Feedback    |    You Bring The Band

    Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you
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  • Winny_PoohWinny_Pooh Frets: 3619
    Anti-salt, like when you fuckup and over salt during cooking and want to save the meal.


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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 15349
    Now THAT is a good idea !
    Trump: A narcissistic luminous orange ball bag and Rome burning in man form.
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  • fandangofandango Frets: 1375
    gringopig said:
    A machine which would change the duvet sheet and get all the corners snug and filled so you don't pull up a flappy bit of duvet cover to your face when getting comfy.
    You don't need one, just do this @gringopig ;

    Watch from 1:12



    I bet you watch it more than once as well ;)
    Well, pickle my feathers, that’s going to be some timesaver!

    Didn't need to watch it again, she’s coming round soon.  ;)
    We choose to go to the Moon! We choose to go to the Moon...We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organise and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win, and the others, too." JF Kennedy 1963.

    For Sale: Apple MacBook Pro (http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/133742/fs-apple-macbook-pro-15-retina-995?new=1)
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  • HattigolHattigol Frets: 2039
    A cable which doesn't have an innate ability to tie a range of knots in itself whilst hiding in a gigbag.
    "Anybody can play. The note is only 20%. The attitude of the motherf*cker who plays it is  80%" - Miles Davis
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  • Phil_aka_PipPhil_aka_Pip Frets: 9763
    @gringopig my ex gf showed me how to do that (before she was ex). probably the most useful thing she ever showed me
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • gringopiggringopig Frets: 1301
    gringopig said:
    A machine which would change the duvet sheet and get all the corners snug and filled so you don't pull up a flappy bit of duvet cover to your face when getting comfy.
    You don't need one, just do this @gringopig ;

    Watch from 1:12



    I bet you watch it more than once as well ;)
    Well. There you go lol. I spent hours of my life stuffing the duvet into the cover. I did watch it more than once haha
    I am fully sated now with amps and guitars. God help me.
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  • vizviz Frets: 5435
    It’s a south african / australian method, they all do it that way over there. 
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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 8023


    Mine would be a hardware multi-FX unit which doesn't come with any actual effects, but instead allows you to buy them online and download into the unit via wi-fi or Bluetooth, like a universal version of TC Toneprint crossed with the App Store, accessed from a phone or tablet. Each module should have a number of physical knobs to control the main parameters in use, and further tweakability from the remote device. Independent developers would have access to the store to sell their own creations.

    I may be overlooking something like this that already exists, but if it does I haven't come across it.
    There are things a bit like that but no one has ever really run with the concept. The idea of a Tabla Rasa multi FX has long seemed good to me.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Anyway back to the inventions,  I was reminiscing earlier about some gigs I played in buildings with high ceilings, hard surfaces,etc, and thought that someone should invent an anti reverb pedal. 

    I'd also like an expandable car. Small car but you can enlarge sections to carry more luggage turning it into a big car if need be. One vehicle that does tiny city car stuff and can accommodate a family and luggage on holiday. But not a roof rack or a trailer. 
    Let us realize the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.
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  • richardhomerrichardhomer Frets: 19975
    An ‘anti-addiction’ programme - one that could stop you over-eating, drinking too much and wasting your life on the Fretboard....
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  • Phil_aka_PipPhil_aka_Pip Frets: 9763
    @EricTheWeary a legal telescopic cut&shut?
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 8023
    @EricTheWeary a legal telescopic cut&shut?
    Yeh, pretty much.

    You can buy a motorhome with hydraulic sides, so they expand out and the vehicle is wider when you are parked up so that kind of idea but lengthwise. And in a car. 
    Let us realize the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.
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  • Phil_aka_PipPhil_aka_Pip Frets: 9763
    @EricTheWeary a legal telescopic cut&shut?
    Yeh, pretty much.

    You can buy a motorhome with hydraulic sides, so they expand out and the vehicle is wider when you are parked up so that kind of idea but lengthwise. And in a car. 
    Yep I think I'd like one of those :)
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • Phil_aka_PipPhil_aka_Pip Frets: 9763
    Whatever chemicals they put in cat food to make it smell nice to a cat, I'd like a tin of double-strength dose of it for when Roobi decides not to eat something that she's hitherto been eating without complaint.
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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