Getting older

Emp_Fab

So I’m on holiday in Spain and just come back to the hotel after a night out.  I strip off ready for bed and decide I need a piss.  I’m standing there, naked, having a piss and glance over to my right where the hotel has kindly chosen to put a full-length mirror.

 I’m horrified to see this pasty-white dollop of lard in profile.  I look like an amateur sculptor has carved me out of a giant block of Spam with a blunt machete.

I am not happy.

WiresDreamDisasters

Settle into it. S'wot I'm doin.

munckee

Don't worry your eyesight will go soon then you won't be able to seethe reflection. 

Danny1969

I'm lucky I suffer from body dysmorphia  ... I catch my reflection in the mirror and think I look amazing !

breakstuff

Yeah, you've looked better Emp. 

  https://imgur.com/a/Eewo3mh



 

GuyR

Wife is naked and looking in a full length mirror. Says to husband: "I'm looking old. My hair is grey, I'm fat, my boobs are sagging, my skin is wrinkled - make me feel better and pay me a compliment".
husband;"your eyesight's perfect"

rivercider

At least you still know you need the piss before you get into the bed. That may change.

Hootsmon

octatonic

Emp_Fab said:

So I’m on holiday in Spain and just come back to the hotel after a night out.  I strip off ready for bed and decide I need a piss.  I’m standing there, naked, having a piss and glance over to my right where the hotel has kindly chosen to put a full-length mirror.

 I’m horrified to see this pasty-white dollop of lard in profile.  I look like an amateur sculptor has carved me out of a giant block of Spam with a blunt machete.

I am not happy.

Make. Different. Choices.

JezWynd

It's not all bad, you're on holiday in Spain. Catch some rays and run about, you'll soon see an improvement.

Strat_a_tat_tat

JezWynd said:

Catch some rays and run about, you'll soon see an improvement.

... or the inside of an emergency ward.

bingefeller

Accept it, at least you can still piss standing up.   

menamestom

It’s not so much getting older as seeing the compound effect of bad choices over time.

Getting older is our inevitable friend.  Becoming a dollop of lard is self inflicted spamfoolery and neglect. 

Small choices, everyday, and next year you’ll be saying ‘how you doing?’ Into that mirror.

jonnyburgo

You've been moaning for years about being fat Emp, we've hear it all a thousand times, stop feeling sorry for yourself, it's time to shit or get off the pot.

menamestom

Perhaps put up  a similar mirror at home so you are reminded everyday and not just on your holiday?

Kilgore

You're just going through Gregg's withdrawal.
Get yourself a spray tan, you'll feel much better.

RobDavies

Kilgore said:

You're just going through Gregg's withdrawal.
Get yourself a spray tan, you'll feel much better.

This will actually help. 

Tanned fat looks better than insipid, white fat. 

Fuengi

How old are you @Emp_Fab ? 

57Deluxe

and you remembered where you were - that's a bonus too...

JAYJO

Emp_Fab said:

  I look like an amateur sculptor has carved me out of a giant block of Spam with a blunt machete.

I am not happy.

Did the wife need a knife to get you out of your undies?

Octafish

octatonic said:

Emp_Fab said:

So I’m on holiday in Spain and just come back to the hotel after a night out.  I strip off ready for bed and decide I need a piss.  I’m standing there, naked, having a piss and glance over to my right where the hotel has kindly chosen to put a full-length mirror.

 I’m horrified to see this pasty-white dollop of lard in profile.  I look like an amateur sculptor has carved me out of a giant block of Spam with a blunt machete.

I am not happy.

Make. Different. Choices.

Choosing not to look in the mirror is an easy one....