The Difficulties of Making a Band...

FarleyUK

Dear Fretboarders,

I've been trying to create a second band due to the guys in my first band not being bothered about helping get gigs and various other things.

I advertised on FB and Joinmyband, and find a singer - made it clear I wanted a rock / blues based covers band and she was cool with it. Rehearsed and she sounds brilliant. Found a drummer, he's into the rockier stuff and is great, so all good. Then found a bassist and he's also great.

So, issues have started to arise when choosing songs and trying to arrange regular rehearsals; the singer can only do monday or Tuesdays and refuses to work around anyone else. Drummer can't do Tuesdays, so, Monday it is - which I can't do. However, I've bitten the bullet and cancelled what I did on Mondays for the sake of the band.

Online calendar - singer refuses to fill it in as she doesn't 'do' online stuff. Everyone else is OK with it.

Song choices - quite a few rock numbers, but also some bizarre lounge / cruise ship versions of songs.

Keys player - drummer is wanting another guitarist as we can't get a keys player, but the whole point was to find a keys player as that really opens up song choices. So I've said no to another guitarist (yes, partly down to ego as well).

I'm essence - I'm not sure what to do here. They're great musicians, but if things are this tricky at the beginning (when everyone is meant to be on best behaviour!), I wonder what the future holds....

Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated

Confused in High Wycombe.

guitarfishbay

Why don’t you look to join a near complete lineup? Ideally one that’s got a proven functional lineup and just lost a guitarist. Starting bands from the ground up can be hard.

Anyone that doesn’t do internet and wants to be in a band is automatically making everyone else’s lives harder. I know someone will cite an exception, but honestly unless they’re truly irreplaceable they’re just making everything more awkward from step 1

FarleyUK

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking to be honest.

Trouble is finding the bands looking for a guitarist though... I'm on some Facebook groups and a couple of websites, so hopefully something pops up.

thomasross20

I'm going it alone. Acoustic rock. 
Just can't face the band stuff right now!

EricTheWeary

Sounds like a variation of every part time band ever, eventually it will all come together or all fall apart. Good luck  

PolarityMan

Sounds like none of them can djent anyways

sweepy

Another reason I haven’t bothered playing in bands over the years, people are just too bloody awkward and work commitments unfortunately take priority. Son lives in High Wycombe and went to Uni there, seems a LOT livelier than sleepy Banbury .

pmbomb

thomasross20 said:

I'm going it alone. Acoustic rock. 
Just can't face the band stuff right now!

this bloke's actually pretty good and bands should want him.

CarpeDiem

Getting bands together and continuing to keep them going can be hard work, and it often relies on one person organising/keeping it on track. If it were me, I wouldn't worry about the singer not wanting to use technology. I would ask the drummer why he/she wants another guitarist. If there's a good musical reason, then try to find one or a keyboard player. As for choosing songs, there has to be some compromise but it's important that everybody gets a say, which is not always easy if you're dealing with strong personalities/egos. Having said all that, despite the effort, it can be great fun so it's worth persevering.

DLM

FarleyUK said:

I advertised on FB and Joinmyband, and find a singer

Online calendar - singer refuses to fill it in as she doesn't 'do' online stuff.

Evidently. :eyeroll:

The answer is one you won't want to hear, and in most bands' infancy it is the same:

Your carrot isn't big enough.

You know, the one you are dangling in front of the others as their leader? As a covers outfit, this carrot will be the prospect of paying gigs. Watch their calendars clear up when they smell loot! Want better behaviour? Book gigs.

Caffeine_Vampire

Switch to bass or drums. You’ll always get a gig and no-one expects you to talk. 

Musicwolf

So this is a second band born out of the frustration that your first band can't be bothered.

I deduce that you are either more committed to music, else have less going on in your life, than your fellow band mates.  This being the case you are either going to have to accept that it is you that will be doing all the organising and the one making compromises / putting yourself out or you need to find one band with like minded soles.  If people can't put in the time or don't have the single minded dedication then that is fine, but they will only reach a certain standard.  If this is frustrating you then move on.

I spent more than one year trying to get a band off the ground struggling to get everyone together at the same time.  We also had the usual differences about song choice, getting a keyboard player in,............etc, etc.

In the end I found a new band, with slightly less talented guys, all of whom were prepared to make it work.  We were out gigging very quickly and we improve week by week.

thomasross20

Thanks @pmbomb - I forget if you're in a band?

pmbomb

thomasross20 said:

Thanks @pmbomb - I forget if you're in a band?

yes. got lucky really, chatted to @cols here, he was up for it, drummer is someone I met through cycling, bass player (who turned out to be booker for local festival) I just accosted in the pub after seeing him play and he was up for it too.

we have a good time. pub covers. no delusions of grandeur. no money involved. we all get along and just have fun. long may it last, if it doesn't, que sera sera.

carlos

I feel your pain. You need people that match your skill level, your commitment and your musical tastes. I think it's harder than finding a romantic partner... And you need to find more than one to form a band. 

thomasross20

Nice one @pmbomb ! Just keep it fun 8)

FarleyUK

Update - told the rest of the band I won't be proceeding. Feel relieved, which tells me I made the right choice.

Now just to find a decent band needing a lead guitarist....!

TTBZ

Bands are a nightmare but I keep going back to it. My current originals one has had its first gig which is further than I've ever got with originals. Went really well but now we've hit a roadblock (hopefully just a speed bump but we'll see) with one of the members, which is a bit annoying as it's the wrong time to lose momentum.

In the past I've had to be the band leader which is hard for an introvert but nobody else seemed to be as committed. Now we're all pretty well committed I can take a bit of a back seat and hopefully let it run itself as it should if this one fails I don't think I'll do originals again for a while. It's just too much of a pain in the arse only to do gigs to a handful of people and promote music that nobody other than ourselves cares about.

viz

Having a core team of two who make all the decisions might help.

It’s lonely being the sole leader, but if you have a right-hand person who you can go to the pub with and decide on songs, and can help get gigs, and help organise stuff, and that you know is like-minded and will always discuss stuff with you first, might make all the difference. 

Musicwolf

Teams need leadership.  Whether it's a band, a sports team, a business or a group of friends going away on holiday together.   A band leader doesn't have to be the front man and they don't need to do everything themselves.  In fact, it doesn't need to be the same person all of the time.  What you do need is that somebody steps up and brings the team together, motivates them, gives them focus and maintains momentum.

You say that your band has hit a speed bump.  If you have a natural leader then everybody will be turning toward them looking for direction.  If that person doesn't already exist then now is the time for one of you to grow a pair at step up - otherwise it's curtains.

TTBZ

Luckily our other guitarist is good at that stuff. I have to be a parent at home, I don't want to deal with that shit at band practice too