Advice on going cold-turkey (Social Media & News)

Grunfeld

danishbacon said:

I've been battling some ghosts of my own and wanted to (once again) try to leave social media completely to see if it helps....

I work on a computer though and often find myself inadvertently browsing to a number of different outlets, more out of compulsion than anything else. I can't think of a single positive thing to come of it, rather anxiety, worry and existential dread.

You've nailed it:  compulsion.  Compulsive behaviours are often driven by negative reinforcement:  by doing more of x, you avoid the unpleasant experience y. 

E.g.  By doing more alcohol behaviour you reduce or avoid contact with your core experience of say, existential boredom and failure.

E.g.  By doing more hand washing rituals you reduce or avoid your feelings of self-loathing and disgust.  

And so on.

I don't know (obviously) what's driving your compulsion and, for what it's worth, I don't think one has to know.  

What I've found from the clients I've seen is that compulsion is common -- and I think that's because negative reinforcement is such an incredibly efficient form of behavioural conditioning. 

I go along with a theoretical stance which says we don't actually "unlearn" behaviours.  Rather, change happens by learning new, more useful behaviours.  It is possible to live without actively seeking out social media and news.  (As it happens this is my choice) but even so you pick it up passively. 

And know your own preference.  Mine is for abstinence.  I know where I am with "zero" -- there's no wiggle room and it's clear behaviour.  This is not always possible, e.g. I can struggle with eating behaviour, and for me it too is driven by negative reinforcement.  But your preference might be for sensible moderation of your behaviour.  In which case you have to learn how to do it!  But essentially you're not ditching an old behaviour (because you're already good at compulsive news checking and like riding a bike or playing a guitar you'll always know how to do it); instead, you're learning a new one.

monquixote

UnclePsychosis said:

Can totally understand wanting to step away from social media.

But cutting yourself off entirely from the news and global affairs strikes me as socially irresponsible. 

The news gives you a distorted view of the world so it's of practically no value.

JDE

Facebook is the real killer, in my experience. I left there last year, and within 6 weeks, I’d sacked off Twitter too, which was piss easy to do in comparison. I still go on/use Instagram but it’s predominantly pics of my kids and my cats, and I predominantly look at Japanese art and (if I’m honest) cats. I follow enough bands I like to keep vaguely up to date with what’s going on with gigs and releases but since unplugging myself from Facebook and daily music feeds, I realised how little it meant to me and I no longer give a fuck, tbh. Much, much, *much* happier without it all. This forum is about as online social as I get and I find myself having to take breaks as much as possible. 

Change your Facebook password to something gibberish you’ll never remember and log out. 

WiresDreamDisasters

monquixote said:

UnclePsychosis said:

Can totally understand wanting to step away from social media.

But cutting yourself off entirely from the news and global affairs strikes me as socially irresponsible. 

The news gives you a distorted view of the world so it's of practically no value.

Worse than that when you deliberately read biased sources and hold them up as virtuous.

thecolourbox

UnclePsychosis said:

Can totally understand wanting to step away from social media.

But cutting yourself off entirely from the news and global affairs strikes me as socially irresponsible. 

I know kind of what you're getting at, in that I absolutely hate the quality of our news coverage but I feel like I should still read it. They know what they are doing feeding you bad news and scare stories yes but those that control it may also benefit from an apathetic public so it's a tough one.

Definitely do it on the social media though. I only still have it for family photos and following a few music and politics related groups which it is good at

gringopig

.

brucegill

Do it! Best thing I’ve done for ages is delete Facebook account and app. Though now no burger knows it’s my birthday! And yes, everyone gets the hump as they think you’ve unfriended them ffs. Crazy how quickly that took over our life’s! 

I deleted the news app, that helped. But then subscribed to the Guardian for a year. Just finished that and have deleted the app after reading this post, so thank you for that. 

Tried deleting Instagram and that seems impossible. Deleted the app so that solved that. If your a photographer there’s far better places to look than there anyway. 

Good luck!

DrCornelius

I think that there was a time that probably ended at some point in the 90s where you needed to read a quality paper or watch the news to be informed enough to vote when the time comes. I feel now that virtually every story through every outlet is spun in one way or another that you never get to the bottom of the truth.

 Brexit to me is the most obvious example - I've given up caring about it and voting in general atm and as the son of a trade union leader I'm really sad to say it but it's a lot better for my wellbeing than actually caring about it and forever analysing every tidbit of news to ascertain how much truth there is in it

UnclePsychosis

monquixote said:

UnclePsychosis said:

Can totally understand wanting to step away from social media.

But cutting yourself off entirely from the news and global affairs strikes me as socially irresponsible. 

The news gives you a distorted view of the world so it's of practically no value.

Only if you're incapable of critical and/or analytical thought. 

I actually feel sorry for anyone who thinks  "Tune out, turn off, drop out" is a sensible world view. 

monquixote

UnclePsychosis said:

monquixote said:

UnclePsychosis said:

Can totally understand wanting to step away from social media.

But cutting yourself off entirely from the news and global affairs strikes me as socially irresponsible. 

The news gives you a distorted view of the world so it's of practically no value.

Only if you're incapable of critical and/or analytical thought. 

I actually feel sorry for anyone who thinks  "Tune out, turn off, drop out" is a sensible world view. 

Nope

Turns out journalists know less about the world than the average person.

The more news you read the news  the dumber you are.

Just because you ignore rolling / fast news doesn't mean you are ill informed or have dropped out.

I seriously suggest reading factfulness

https://www.gapminder.org/factfulness-book/

Bill Gates is apparently a big fan.

gringopig

.

LastMantra

I've never watched the news (regularly). Since I was a kid, always thought it was boring. 

Grunfeld

UnclePsychosis said:

monquixote said:

The news gives you a distorted view of the world so it's of practically no value.

Only if you're incapable of critical and/or analytical thought. 

I actually feel sorry for anyone who thinks  "Tune out, turn off, drop out" is a sensible world view. 

How about the possibility that you can be capable of critical and analytical thought yet be totally disinterested by the majority of items which typically make up the news agenda? 

I have just looked at the BBC website for news:  Trump/Iran; a Tory politician and EU; LGBT item; human interest story about a doctor who helped someone; a milkshake thrown at someone; lots about EU elections; a Chinese phone problem; and a reality TV star talking about herself. 

Honestly, none of that interests me whatsoever.  None of it. 

Where is the value from spending time on critical or analytical thought about any of those issues?

If I spend time on "news" (no interest) then I'm not spending time thinking about the stuff which does interest me.

And I like fluffy stuff too.  Like this!

EDIT:  Also, just remembered that when the mainstream news does a subject I'm interested in they invariably bollocks it up good and proper, time after time:  the standard and reliability of mainstream scientific journalism is quite frankly, shit.

Nitefly

Caffeine_Vampire said:

<snip>

Tune out, turn off, drop out. 

Timothy Leary really is dead.  

danishbacon

Wow, thank you all for such helpful contributions, a bit taken aback. It's good (or bad) to hear that some have struggled with similar things.

beed84

olafgarten said:

Bad things are going to happen whether you know about them or not and it's best to know what is happening. 

How so? I don’t actively read papers or watch the news and I can’t say I feel worse off for it. Moreover, there are so many things that are happening in the world that a person’s knowledge of a situation doesn’t change anything; you simply know. To add to @Grunfeld's point above, the majority of news that is made available is of no interest and makes no difference to me. I'd much rather be focusing on my own limited life than chasing relatively meaningless news stories.

In terms of the OP, and for anyone who uses Facebook specifically, I recommend Roger McNamee’s Zucked: Waking Up to the Facebook Catastrophe. It's an illuminating if not terrifying read, highlighting the ruthless nature of the site–and indeed the founder–describing how it keeps users' attention by various means, such as "brain hacking" "filter bubbles" and "social validation loops". The site is choc-a-block of disinformation that there is no wonder a user feels anxious. Seriously though, who wants to be part of a site where your brain is being hacked?

DrCornelius said:

I've binned the smartphone and started using an old school Nokia. Its made a massive difference to me - I take a book on the train now or listen to the radio via the phone and I don't have the continual temptation to check work emails, social media shite or (gulp) guitars and amps I don't really need on here.

Admirable. I've been mentally working up to this myself. Although I don't use my smartphone nowhere near as much as some users, there are, however, some apps that are incredibly useful to me. I know I could get by without it if I really wanted to, but it does provide some beneficial functionality. I imagine it must be liberating not to feel tethered, mind you....

ToneControl

uninstall facebook etc from your phone
unfollow everyone on facebook, maybe leave a fe family members, best mates 
install FBP to get rid of the ads on your PC

Snap

I think, for me, the answer to this is discipline. Most of it, as has been said is either habit or compulsion. We have been conditioned over generations to feel the need to read the news. Whilst I see the benefit of understanding how the world works, there is a balance between what you can actually effect (by knowing about it), and what just sparks a frustrated emotive response. I find myself reading less and less news. So much of it is partisan, so much of it is depressingly grim. Why fill my mind with negativity.

Social media - don't need it, mostly. I use a couple of forums, of stuff I am interested in. I have a small Twitter feed, of which about 50% is interesting (music etc), the rest gets infiltrated with people's opinions, in which I have little interest, so ignore. Hard to extract the good stuff from the chaff, but I can live tiwh that.

Facebook - hated it, and I think it's utter rubbish. Bragbook more like. Instagram - I follow a couple of people, again, music, tech etc. This is much better as it's not easily over run by crap and its a lot easier to control what gets through.

Work - I have separate personal and work email, separate apps. I only use the work email in working hours. Otherwise work will encroach in your personal mental space which affects your relaxation. When I am on holiday, I change my voicemail and only answer the phone if it's friends or family. You can easily allocate ring tones to family and friends. I also make it clear to everyone related with work, that when I am off, I am off and not contactable. I'm not so important that work can't cope without me. I'll also make sure that as much as possible is sorted out before I go on hols.

Phones - I consciously make an effort not to keep checking it. And it is a conscious effort. I won't take it out of my pocket if I'm out in the evening, or having a meal. When out with my wife, one of us will leave a phone at home, keep one in case the kids call us.

It's a challenge, but I do try to keep in mind that there is more to life than the (mostly) inane crap that comes through your smart phone.