BOOOOOOOM!

octatonic

frankus said:

I'm jut spit balling here... but if the two of you agreed to have clones made you could each go your seperate way and stay together... if of course there's a complication with the clone of her and it's not going to arrive till after she's left she'll never know you in fact cloned Morena Baccarin instead of her.

Also would the situation be different if her parents were immortal.

If I were you, I'd think outside the box.... I did and the name that first popped into my head instead of Morena Baccarin was Monika Daneman - that might be significant.

Morena Baccarin would need to grow her hair back.

Her head hair, not her back hair.

octatonic

Myranda said:

Start looking for work there now, so that should you move you'll be set already?

Doesn't really work like that for me- I'm a musician and producer/engineer- I need to get in there and start building networks.

it is all about relationships.

What does count in my favour is I've got a bit of an international track record now- Australians like that & it counts in my favour.

Also- I'm in the middle of a degree (guitar building) that I need to finish first.

octatonic

Myranda said:

Well ok... I admit the tunnel idea needs work - you'd need a material that could withstand the heat and pressure of the whole earth pressing on it... and pressurised capsule of some sort - with perhaps some form of net at the far end to catch you before you start falling back to the middle. But don't dismiss it out of hand - anything is possible.

What about becoming a sex worker in Australia? Then she'll get jealous and demand you both move back to the UK? Win Win Win

I like the creative (but useless) thinking that is going on in this thread.

Myranda

If she's happy to wait till you finish your course, fail a year then you get a whole extra year to think about it

octatonic

ESBlonde said:

Playing devils advocate, if there are two brothers and extended family on location then is it safe to assume they are taking care of family needs on a daily basis? If not, why is it incumbent upon the only sister around the world to do so? If daily needs are all in hand could you and the wife arrange for her/both to visit home for 3 weeks a year and stay in the UK a bit poorer?

But daughters have a different take on their parents to us mere men and the attachment and emotional needs are greater/different. Whilst men can be logical and practical, don't expect the pretty half of the relationship to have the same outlook. 

So cold hard logical, can you let the property here and return to Aus for 5 years living in a small condo and return here (possibly) after the alleged need (and don't assume it's not something unsaid or deeper that's driving this).

I'm sure as the next few weeks go by you will each explore many options and I wish you well on that voyage of discovery.

Peace.

In a lot of situations I would agree with you but up until this point the brothers have been looking after them.

My wife has been in the northern hemisphere for 16 years now and has been missing her family more as time goes by.

It isn't just going back to look after them- they don't need THAT much looking after really- at least not yet.

What is driving it is she wants to be closer to them to see them, to spend holidays and weekends with them- not just a 3 week visit every year or two.

I totally respect that- she loves her family and she wants to be close to them.

Also, she has nieces and nephews that she hasn't seen much of either- and friends.

Doing 5 years in Oz wouldn't necessarily work- her parents might live 20 more years (they'd be jolly old though)- I think this is a case of wanting to move back having done the overseas thing.

Again, something I can respect- and it isn't really anything 'unspoken'- she has been pretty clear about what her reasons are.

I'm not ready for it myself and possibly may never be.

I don't know- the weather sure is nice but I like my life here.

octatonic

Myranda said:

If she's happy to wait till you finish your course, fail a year then you get a whole extra year to think about it

Pride won't let me do that.

Also, I saw some of the work of the students that managed a bare pass- I'm not sure it is technically possible to fail this degree if you actually turn up.

Sheldon ( @Antique_Guitars ) will confirm this, I'm sure.

Myranda

What if you do a project to make a guitar and "accidentally" make an oboe - surely a fail, but you could still make a kick-ass oboe to be proud of

octatonic

Myranda said:

What if you do a project to make a guitar and "accidentally" make an oboe - surely a fail, but you could still make a kick-ass oboe to be proud of

Actually they used to do woodwind but it closed down due to lack of interest.

We can do it as part of an eventing class though.

I'm not sure it would get you a fail.

Maybe if I built a guitar that killed anyone that tried playing it?

johnnyurq

@octatonic

That is one hell of a dilemma dude and you have my sympathies.

Both opinions have merit to to each other and founded in a desire for change, not an easy one for sure.

It sounds as if your damned if you do damned if you don't and as @Emp_Fab said these are the things that break folks up without some compromise and someone maybe giving ground. Even then it can still end in the worst case scenario of moving and all the friction ending things in any case.

I have witnessed this first hand with a few friends and that was only moves within the UK so Aus is a big move.

Wishing you both well and here's hoping that you get a god result for you both.

In more silly thinking get on and enlist Sporky to help you build a Trans Mat and or Star trek stylee transporter system. Failng that some kind of super robot monkey cross might work too.


Only messing dude and the best of luck.

jaygtr

Could you suggest an extended time there each year, say 2 months each year. My neighbour does it every winter to see his family. ( although is suspect its to escape the cold really)

Myranda

Don't they have summer during our winter? What about 6 months here, 6 months there? Chase the summer... ok ok, so 3 months here 9 months there, chase the summer...

frankus

octatonic said:

Also- I'm in the middle of a degree (guitar building) that I need to finish first.

either change it to a BTEC diploma in guitar building or convert it into a Degree in Ukulele building.

To my mind family is something you only miss, I know of noone who actually enjoys spending time with their family... who isn't elbow deep in denial - it's an emotional debt, the best thing to do is stop caring.

I mean we've got Skype and XBox live why would you want to be in the same room as them?

octatonic

Myranda said:

Don't they have summer during our winter? What about 6 months here, 6 months there? Chase the summer... ok ok, so 3 months here 9 months there, chase the summer...

What you are suggesting is 11 1/2 months in Sydney and a 2 week holiday in London, every second year.

Seriously- I called my Dad in the middle of a UK summer and it was 2 degrees hotter there than it was here.

"UK summer" is a tautology- I didn't come her for the weather though.

frankus

you came here to take the piss out of our weather... you sir, are an Australian get the hence.

octatonic

frankus said:

you came here to take the piss out of our weather... you sir, are an Australian get the hence.

I quite like UK weather actually- unrelenting heat is good on a holiday.

It sucks when you are a suit, on the way to the office & on public transport.

Not that I wear suits these days though.

Another tick in the minus column for Oz is I get absolutely awful hay fever- I'm allergic to a lot of native Australian plants.

I don't get it here.

3 months a year of being a weepy snot-monster gets tiring.

frankus

I've got the solution, befriend some old people... they'll remind you both why you were okay leaving your parents behind...

guitarfishbay

Myranda said:

Don't they have summer during our winter? What about 6 months here, 6 months there? Chase the summer... ok ok, so 3 months here 9 months there, chase the summer...

I actually know a couple who've been doing this for a few years.  They're from NZ.  However they have professions that make the moving easier.  They don't stick to strict 6 month shifts but they do live in each location for months at a time.  He's an engineer and she is some kind of school/university teacher IIRC.  I don't think it would work the same way for a musician though, unless you're able to get work at high pay (he is) regularly enough to not starve between jobs.

Myranda

It seems to me that: 

You are rigid in not wanting to go.

She is rigis in not wanting to stay.

Now were this moving 50 miles down the road you could maybe get away with a half-way compromise of moving somewhere in between and just have a little drive... 

But Australia, being 12000 ish miles away, moving half-way between wouldn't help. You couldn't continue your course or job by doing a bit here and a bit there, and she'd not likely feel she was spending the quality time with her family that she's after by doing the time share options.

Here family is there, your (and presumably hers too) life and work are here.

I think someone should raise the very real topic that in either scenario of you moving there or her staying here you'll likely resent each other for needing to make a decision you didn't want to make. 

Worst case scenario is that you tell all your clients you're moving - move, get pissed off and leave her to come back only to find the work has gone to others in your extended absence.

I'll also point out that I know another aussie male who really doesn't want to move back - he'd left his life there and made one here, and the thought of leaving it again in the hopes of picking up the old one where it left off just isn't appealing enough. He likes his life - and his life is here.

Has she considered fully the life she'll be leaving behind (presuming she has a life, not everyone does)?

frankus

I don't

Myranda

frankus said:

I don't

Have a life? I'm currently thinking that I don't have enough of a life... but I'm sort of enjoying not having one...

I get to practise guitar more

I get to read more

I get to watch the film I want to when I want to

I can spend the time I need on learning geeky stuff for future jobs without the worry that I'm not paying enough attention to significant others

I can play games on the computer or xbox and not worry about seeming like a sad loser

I think having a life is over-rated sometimes... not sure I'd like it if this goes on too long... but that's besides the point.

Also I never need to have long winded debates about where I'm going to live in the next few years...