BOOOOOOOM!

Myranda

Also - I druny a Monster Ripper Sensible has left the building

frankus

Myranda said:

frankus said:

I don't

Have a life? I'm currently thinking that I don't have enough of a life... but I'm sort of enjoying not having one...

I get to practise guitar more

I get to read more

I get to watch the film I want to when I want to

I can spend the time I need on learning geeky stuff for future jobs without the worry that I'm not paying enough attention to significant others

I can play games on the computer or xbox and not worry about seeming like a sad loser

I think having a life is over-rated sometimes... not sure I'd like it if this goes on too long... but that's besides the point.

Also I never need to have long winded debates about where I'm going to live in the next few years... 

that is a life you druny muppet!

octatonic

Myranda said:

It seems to me that: 

You are rigid in not wanting to go.

She is rigis in not wanting to stay.

Now were this moving 50 miles down the road you could maybe get away with a half-way compromise of moving somewhere in between and just have a little drive... 

But Australia, being 12000 ish miles away, moving half-way between wouldn't help. You couldn't continue your course or job by doing a bit here and a bit there, and she'd not likely feel she was spending the quality time with her family that she's after by doing the time share options.

Here family is there, your (and presumably hers too) life and work are here.

I think someone should raise the very real topic that in either scenario of you moving there or her staying here you'll likely resent each other for needing to make a decision you didn't want to make. 

Worst case scenario is that you tell all your clients you're moving - move, get pissed off and leave her to come back only to find the work has gone to others in your extended absence.

I'll also point out that I know another aussie male who really doesn't want to move back - he'd left his life there and made one here, and the thought of leaving it again in the hopes of picking up the old one where it left off just isn't appealing enough. He likes his life - and his life is here.

Has she considered fully the life she'll be leaving behind (presuming she has a life, not everyone does)?

She needs to go- I'm not sure rigid is the word, but she will be unhappy if she stays.

I'm probably bendier (although not literally).

If I do go back, I won't allow resentment to fester- no-one is making me go back, if that is what I do.

I won't make the decision lightly though.

I'm really glad you posed these questions though Myranda- if anything you've shown me that I'm probably more prepared to compromise in order to make Mrs Oct happy than I first thought I would be.

My mind isn't made up though.

We spoke at lunch- She is feeling a bit guilty for putting me in this position, which I don't want her to feel (although if it means I get a cheeky blow-job tonight I'm not going to argue).

Poor thing- it has obviously been on her mind for a while now.

If we do go back the plan is that either we'd go back once I'm finished my degree OR perhaps she'd find the right job now & go.

I'd move into one of the rental flats (we have one right beside the university, as it happens) until my degree finishes.

fretmeister

Clearly the answer is living in Hong Kong or Singapore or even Korea.

This post has been bought to you by Useless Ideas Inc.

octatonic

fretmeister said:

Clearly the answer is living in Hong Kong or Singapore or even Korea.

This post has been bought to you by Useless Ideas Inc.

Singapore is a very real possibility- her regional head office is there and there is also a role for her.

However- it is Singapore- the Milton Keynes of Asia.

frankus

fretmeister said:

Clearly the answer is living in Hong Kong or Singapore or even Korea.

This post has been bought to you by Useless Ideas Inc.

Not to be mistaken for the Corporation of Useless Ideas... splitter!

Myranda

octatonic said:

fretmeister said:

Clearly the answer is living in Hong Kong or Singapore or even Korea.

This post has been bought to you by Useless Ideas Inc.

Singapore is a very real possibility- her regional head office is there and there is also a role for her.

However- it is Singapore- the Milton Keynes of Asia.

It's 50% roundabouts? 25% concret 5% Milton Keynes Bowl (the only reason people go there surely?) 20% town.

frankus said:

Myranda said:

frankus said:

I don't

Have a life? I'm currently thinking that I don't have enough of a life... but I'm sort of enjoying not having one...

I get to practise guitar more

I get to read more

I get to watch the film I want to when I want to

I can spend the time I need on learning geeky stuff for future jobs without the worry that I'm not paying enough attention to significant others

I can play games on the computer or xbox and not worry about seeming like a sad loser

I think having a life is over-rated sometimes... not sure I'd like it if this goes on too long... but that's besides the point.

Also I never need to have long winded debates about where I'm going to live in the next few years... 

that is a life you druny muppet!

If TV has told me anything then people who spend time indoors are unhappy and in need of a montage of learning social skills before going to 24/7 dinner parties with 9 other people who only seem interested in gossip about people not at the dinner!  Unless one is bungee jumping and getting married, and dating 78 women a week then you're not having a life... TV tells me so.

octatonic said:

Myranda said:

Stuff

She needs to go- I'm not rigid is the word, but she will be unhappy if she stays.

I'm probably bendier (although not literally).

If I do go back, I won't allow resentment to fester- no-one is making me go back, if that is what I do.

I won't make the decision lightly though.

I'm really glad you posed these questions though Myranda- if anything you've shown me that I'm probably more prepared to compromise in order to make Mrs Oct happy than I first thought I would be.

My mind isn't made up though.

We spoke at lunch- She is feeling a bit guilty for putting me in this position, which I don't want her to feel (although if it means I get a cheeky blow-job tonight I'm not going to argue).

Poor thing- it has obviously been on her mind for a while now.

If we do go back the plan is that either we'd go back once I'm finished my degree OR perhaps she'd find the right job now & go.

I'd move into one of the rental flats (we have one right beside the university, as it happens) until my degree finishes.

Seems as the thread goes on you seem more and more okay with going - if it hits a dozen pages then perhaps you'll be the one arguing with her about going home...

Of course there is the possibility that 12000 miles has made her family seem a lot more interesting and appealing... and 12000 fewer miles might make her think "blood hell mate, I've remembered why I was 12000 miles from these crazy ****ers now, lets swagger on to a plane and see if we can find a watering hole in the UK again" Neighbors taught me how Aussies speak... Though annoyingly my Aussie Sifu doesn't speak that way so I keep on wondering if he's secretly a New Zealander impersonating an Aussie

Axe_meister

What about some sort of part time agreement, where she goes over for longer periods of time, say 6 months a year.

octatonic

Axe_meister said:

What about some sort of part time agreement, where she goes over for longer periods of time, say 6 months a year.

Unfortunately not practicable or possible. She has a career, there is no way that at her level she could change jobs every 6 months.

viz

You got two years. Carry on talking to each other, you're a team, and the team will make the best compromise. It's not the case that she has to go at all costs, and it's not the case that you have to stay at all costs. If you love one another, the right answer will reveal itself. I met my wife in South Africa and there was NO WAY I wasn't coming home, take it or leave it.

chillidoggy

I heard they have Internet in Australia. But you can't believe everything you hear.

Handsome_Chris

octatonic said:

Myranda said:

What if you do a project to make a guitar and "accidentally" make an oboe - surely a fail, but you could still make a kick-ass oboe to be proud of

Actually they used to do woodwind but it closed down due to lack of interest.

We can do it as part of an eventing class though.

I'm not sure it would get you a fail.

Maybe if I built a guitar that killed anyone that tried playing it?

I think that's Gibson's next high tech concept guitar.  A Flying V variant, I believe.

Axe_meister

Funny thought, the primary reason my wife does not want to go back to Oz is family? My daughter would also suffer badly with her allergies and eczema.

[Deleted User]

I gave up a career (not in music) for family reasons. I now do a job which I detest, which does not stretch me in any way. I occasionally feel resentful but in truth, I did the only thing I could in the circumstances. Sometimes in life it really is about choosing the lesser of two evils and making it work for you.

I have learned a lot about myself (and what really matters to me) in the last few years. You may find the same....

I wish you good luck with what I appreciate is a dilemma.....

frankus

chillidoggy said:

I heard they have Internet in Australia. But you can't believe everything you hear.

I'm sure they'll burninate it as soon as they discover it spews forth the devils sperm.

octatonic

Internet is Oz is dreadful.

Forget anything approaching what I have now- which is 120meg.

More likely 10-20 tops- and it is expensive.

So is food, accommodation, mobile phones, electronics in general and especially audio gear.

Also, my entire iTunes library will become useless as soon as I buy a show on the Australian iTunes store.

You can't have shows or music in both countries on one device, except a computer- which I hardly use for iTunes anymore now that iCloud is so good.

It is a stupid rule of Apple's but there is sod all you can do about it.

I moved internationally 3 times now- all of the iTunes purchases I have from the US and Switzerland are pretty much useless in terms of using iCloud, which I use a lot.

Also, no Netflix or anything approaching it in Oz- as the internet infrastructure is so shit.

These are not important enough reasons in themselves not to go- but it certainly doesn't help the decision.

Myranda

Can't you use an online proxy server to stay in the UK internet-wise? I know such shennaigans work with Netflix - I'm in america most of the time for them, and only pop back if there's something my mother spotted on the xbox Netflix that isn't on the US one.

Country based services on the interweb are far from infallible 

octatonic

Myranda said:

Can't you use an online proxy server to stay in the UK internet-wise? I know such shennaigans work with Netflix - I'm in america most of the time for them, and only pop back if there's something my mother spotted on the xbox Netflix that isn't on the US one.

Country based services on the interweb are far from infallible 

I guess so- how do you pay for US Netflix? I though they required a US credit card.

Myranda

Netflix (and several other sites) have a single membership system globally... as long as you have access you have access where ever you are. So by spoofing your IP with proxies or using browser pluggins you're just logging in from somewhere else.

While I have never felt the need to use iTunes I'd imagine the same will prove true of it if using proxy services.

ICBM

octatonic said:

Also, my entire iTunes library will become useless as soon as I buy a show on the Australian iTunes store.

You can't have shows or music in both countries on one device, except a computer- which I hardly use for iTunes anymore now that iCloud is so good.

It is a stupid rule of Apple's but there is sod all you can do about it.

I moved internationally 3 times now- all of the iTunes purchases I have from the US and Switzerland are pretty much useless in terms of using iCloud, which I use a lot.

I didn't know that, but I did instinctively know there was a good reason to keep all my music on CD and as mp3s (not Apple format) on my computer...