Write an open letter of clarification to an artist of your choosing.

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GassageGassage Frets: 30826
edited November 2014 in Off Topic
I will go first.

Dear Miss K Perry,

Further to your communication and answering the question as posed:-

No, I have never felt like a plastic bag.

Ever.

I hope this clears up any confusion in this matter.

Nevertheless, my regard remain,

Yours sincerely,

Gassage
c/o The Fretboard.

*An Official Foo-Approved guitarist since Sept 2023.

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Comments

  • martmart Frets: 5205
    Dear Mr Shelley,

    As it happens, yes, I have fallen in love with someone that I shouldn't have. But the affairs of my heart are no business of yours, and I wish no further songs to be written on the subject, no matter how catchy they may be.

    Sincerely yours, etc
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  • DrBobDrBob Frets: 2998
    edited November 2014
    Dear Mrs Morrisette,

    No, since you're asking I don't think the examples cited are for the most part ironic.
    Unfortunate, and in some instances tragic but not ironic

    Kind Regards

    DrBob
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  • martmart Frets: 5205
    DrBob said:
    Dear Mrs Morrisette,

    No, since you're asking I don't think the examples cited are for the most part ironic.
    Unfortunate, and in some instances tragic but not ironic

    Kind Regards

    DrBob
    Ah, but, you see, that was the meta-irony - writing a song about irony that showed she had no understanding of what irony was, all the while when she should probably have been getting on with the ironing instead. ;)
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  • IanSavageIanSavage Frets: 1319
    Dear Bono,

    It's probably down the back of the sofa, check there.

    Sincerely, etc etc etc,

    Ian
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  • SkippedSkipped Frets: 2371
    Dear Les Paul,
    On several occasions I have pointed out to posters on MyLesPaulForum that "Conversions" are not only OK.....they are amazing when done right. And.....to support my argument....I have pointed out that many of your own personal Gibson Les Pauls (probably most of your Gibson Les Pauls) were Heavily Modified in any way that you damn well chose. And that they can stick their expensive Fake/Counterfeit Single Cut guitars, and their opinions, up their arse.
    I hope you don't mind when I do this.

    Best Wishes
    Skipped

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  • breakstuffbreakstuff Frets: 10229
    Dear Mr Morrissey,

    No,I'm not the one for you.

    And stop calling me fatty.

    Regards breakstuff.
    Laugh, love, live, learn. 
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  • GassageGassage Frets: 30826
    Dear Jay Zed,

    Dealing with issues one by one is a key method to beating them.

    How many do you still have left and, as an aside, are you still with the same girlfriend?

    Yours etc....

    *An Official Foo-Approved guitarist since Sept 2023.

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  • xmrchixmrchi Frets: 2810
    Dear les Claypool,

    Please stop being so good, it does nothing for the self esteem of us normal people,.

    Ps I love you.

    Regards Mr Chewson
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  • GassageGassage Frets: 30826
    Dear Collective Members of ZZTop.

    It is Movember.

    Can you outline your charitable strategy for the month ahead?

    Thanking in advance,

    Gassage.

    *An Official Foo-Approved guitarist since Sept 2023.

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  • breakstuffbreakstuff Frets: 10229
    Dear Rihanna,

    As it happens I is big enough.

    And stop calling me Rude Boy.

    Thanks.
    Laugh, love, live, learn. 
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  • guitarfishbayguitarfishbay Frets: 7953
    edited November 2014
    Dear Bruce Dickinson,

    You gave the same time in the previous chorus, so I think your watch has stopped.

    Yours..
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  • Dear Mr Glitter

     

    Why did you visit my school ?

     

     


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  • SkippedSkipped Frets: 2371
    Gassage said:
    Dear Collective Members of ZZTop.

    It is Movember.

    Can you outline your charitable strategy for the month ahead?

    Thanking in advance,

    Gassage.
    That would be terrifying.
    Starting out a career in the Music Industry with a strategy of "Let's look really Old" was a stroke of genius that was certain to pay off later.
    As in......Now.

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  • Dear Mr Vedder,

    Someone resting their head on a piece of concrete does not make it a pillow.  It's could possibly be a 'pillar made of concrete' but was actually more likely a concrete block, paving stone or kerb etc.

    Further to this I would like some clarity about these thoughts that arrive like butterflies.  Does this simply mean that an idea can take between a couple of weeks to a year to emerge?  It's just then you appear to criticise him for chasing those ideas away but if the incubation period to solve any given problem really is as long as a butterfly then they are most probably irrelevant at this point and are just cluttering processing space in his already lethargic brain.

    Thank you for your time in advance.

    My muse is not a horse and art is not a race.
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  • GassageGassage Frets: 30826
    Dear Bruce Dickinson,

    You gave the same time in the previous chorus, so I think your watch has stopped.

    Yours..
    I always associate this song with Joe Bonamassa coming on stage now...

    *An Official Foo-Approved guitarist since Sept 2023.

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  • breakstuffbreakstuff Frets: 10229

    Dear Mr Glitter

     

    Why did you visit my school ?

     

     

    Dear Mr Bogwhoppit,

    I visited because Jimmy Saville was unavailable that day.

    Regards Gary Glitter.
    Laugh, love, live, learn. 
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  • Dear Ms Lang,

    I am somewhat confused as although unlikely I can only think that these constant cravings would usually be a sign of pregnancy.

    Regards

    RHC

    My muse is not a horse and art is not a race.
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  • VimFuegoVimFuego Frets: 15476

    Dear Mr Wagner,


    Any chance you could get it all down to 3.5 minutes?

    I'm not locked in here with you, you are locked in here with me.

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  • Dear Radiohead,

    I am writing in regards to everything that came after you;re very excellent OK Computer album.

    WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!


    ဈǝᴉʇsɐoʇǝsǝǝɥɔဪቌ
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  • Dear Beyoncé.

    Girls do not run the world.

    Chris.

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