Write an open letter of clarification to an artist of your choosing.

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  • mike_lmike_l Frets: 5700

    Dear breakstuff

    If you moved out that shithole that is Grimsby, and to a bigger location, say London, Manchester, or Birmingham, we would happily come and play at your home town

     

    Yours

    B. Dickinson and S. Harris

    Ringleader of the Cambridge cartel, pedal champ and king of the dirt boxes (down to 21) 

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  • breakstuffbreakstuff Frets: 10228
    /\ now that did make me chuckle :D
    Laugh, love, live, learn. 
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  • Dear Mr A Ha

    I watched Corrie on the telly earlier and it was raining. Just saying.

    Kindest regards
    Fish the Michaels
    Please note my communication is not very good, so please be patient with me
    soundcloud.com/thecolourbox-1
    youtube.com/@TheColourboxMusic
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  • Dear Mr Ra Mones

    Actually, I'm like not an actual punk though, I'm like proto emo punk core now you know, so yeah

    love and hate

    Sheena
    Please note my communication is not very good, so please be patient with me
    soundcloud.com/thecolourbox-1
    youtube.com/@TheColourboxMusic
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  • Dear Mr Sting,

    I'm glad to hear you're aware of your land of origin, especially while you're in 'The Big Apple'.

    Hope they don't try to force coffee down you or do that irritating 'both sides' thing with your toast.

    Kind regards....

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  • davewwdaveww Frets: 165
    Dear Commitments,

    Why must you hang Sally? :(

    Dave
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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280

    Dear Keith Harris

    Sincere apologies. When we invited Orville for dinner we assumed you'd know he was the main course.


    Delia Smith

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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280

    Dear U2

    Thanks for your amazing song Sunday bloody Sunday. I can so relate to that as Sundays really piss me off as well.


    Axisus

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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280

    Dear mr Mark Bolan

    We can only assume that your crash diet is working as you don't seem to have ordered any food in some weeks


    ASDA

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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280

    Dear Rose Royce

    You claim that Love don't live here any more, but inland revenue has evidence to the contrary


    HM Revenue and Customs

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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280

    Dear Michael Jackson

    We are not surprised that you have gone bad, your expiry date was June 25th 2009


    Fresh vegetable association

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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280

    Dear Philip Oakey

    I'm sorry to have to inform you that you have been relegated


    Axisus

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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280

    Dear mr Blackmore

    Thank you for your submission to the Masterchef cookbook. Unfortunately we cannot accept 'Child in Thyme' due to current laws on cannibalism


    Masterchef team

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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280

    Dear Marti Pellow

    It may amuse you to tell everyone that love is all around, but next time please try and catch it in a tissue as that stuff stains you know


    Love mum

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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280

     Dear Radiohead

    I'm sorry you got such a bad reception at your recent gig with us. As a suggestion next time, stick an arial in your head and twiddle your ears a bit


    Head of events

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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280

    Dear Pete Townsend

    I am very disappointed with Pinball Wizard. It keeps freezing Windows.


    Bill Gates

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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280

    Dear Sex pistols

    The bad news is that HRH Queen Elizabeth II has died. The good news is that Julian Clary has made an unbelievably miraculous recovery. God says next time could you be a bit more specific.


    Archbishop of Canterbury

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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280

    Dear mr Hammett

    the unfortunate rash has been caused by sand under your foreskin. Enter sandman was never meant to be taken literally


    The practice

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  • xSkarloeyxSkarloey Frets: 2962
    To The Stranglers,

    On second thoughts, perhaps you weren't extolling the virtues of unrefined sugar, perfectly toasted bread or a nice pie crust after all... :|

    Delia Smith.
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  • Dear Cheryl Fernando Torres,

    Re: "Crazy Stupid Love"

    If the relationship you describe is "like a rollercoaster but [you're] only going up", wouldn't that make it a bit shit?

    Sincerely,

    Everyone.

     

    p.s. When are you going to cover Shellac's "My Black Ass"? Would be tres apropos, non?

    Don't talk politics and don't throw stones. Your royal highnesses.

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