Write an open letter of clarification to an artist of your choosing.

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  • Dear Michael Jackson,


    How's that life-preserving oxygen chamber working out for you, then...?



    Dave

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  • mike_lmike_l Frets: 5700

    Dear Simon Cowell

    Please fuck off.

    Thanks

    Mike

    Ringleader of the Cambridge cartel, pedal champ and king of the dirt boxes (down to 21) 

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  • Dear Madonna,


    Why didn't I want to f*ck you...?

    Because you are a gap-toothed hag and I am a professional music producer not some desperate white guy in need of a dirty shag.

    Yours,

    N. Rodgers.

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  • Dear Stranglers,



    Yeah...um....I ate the last one, sorry! I DID warn you not to get the tub of chocolates in too soon before Christmas, though..you know what I'm like...


    Dave

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  • Dear Mr M Jackson,

    I have to write as I feel I have been unfairly accused by you, those Jackson boys...and Big Fun.

    It was not me, I have had to carry the blame for many years, and I've had enough!

    Yours angrily,

    The Boogie.
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  • Dear Mr M Jackson,

    I have to write as I feel I have been unfairly accused by you, those Jackson boys...and Big Fun.

    It was not me, I have had to carry the blame for many years, and I've had enough!

    Yours angrily,

    The Boogie.
    Oh , I don't know...you made a mesa everything...

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  • Dear Boogie,

    It's alight, you can blame it on me.

    Regards,
    George Ezra

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  • joeyowenjoeyowen Frets: 4025
    Dear Ms Jackson,

    I'm sorry, oooooo

    I am for real.

    Sincerely,
    Andre 3000
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  • joeyowenjoeyowen Frets: 4025
    Dear Meatloaf

    Why not?


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  • beed84beed84 Frets: 2403

    Dear Cheryl Fernando Torres,

    Re: "Crazy Stupid Love"

    If the relationship you describe is "like a rollercoaster but [you're] only going up", wouldn't that make it a bit shit?

    Sincerely,

    Everyone.

    That is a good point.  Perhaps she'd have been better using an elevator in T.K Maxx as her likening.
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  • siremoonsiremoon Frets: 1524
    Dear Messrs Parfitt and Rossi

    For the last time please leave me alone.  I've told you enough times I'm not interested and if this persists I shall be forced to lodge a harassment complaint

    Yours etc

    Caroline
    “He is like a man with a fork in a world of soup.” - Noel Gallagher
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  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 9552
    edited November 2014
    Dear Mr Hucknall,

    Judging by your voice it's probably actually your y-fronts that are too tight to mention.

    Yours etc.
    I play guitar because I enjoy it rather than because I’m any good at it
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  • mike_lmike_l Frets: 5700

    Dear Mr A Rose

    Do you have to sit on a beer bottle to hit the high notes?

    Yours

    Mike

    Ringleader of the Cambridge cartel, pedal champ and king of the dirt boxes (down to 21) 

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  • joeyowenjoeyowen Frets: 4025
    Dear P!NK

    nanana naa na naa naaa no thankyou
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  • BlueingreenBlueingreen Frets: 2582
    edited November 2014
    Dear Mr Lennon/McCartney(*) 

    In the late 60s you were one of the two most prominent members of arguably the most popular and successful rock/pop band of all time. You were routinely praised by musicians of the pedigree of Leonard Bernstein and Aaron Copeland. 

    One side effect of this is that you were popular with the ladies on a scale that very few men in history could match. Women with intelligence, talent, winning personalities and world class beauty were yours for the asking. 

     So - Yoko/Linda (*) - wtf? 

     Yours, 

     Baffled men everywhere. 

     (*) delete as appropriate
    “To a man with a hammer every problem looks like a nail.”
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  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 9552
    @blueingreen. Layout is indeed an iPad issue. Press the edit button three times (not sure why three but seems to do the trick). Then press the button that looks like <> and you should be able to format your post properly. Hope this helps.
    I play guitar because I enjoy it rather than because I’m any good at it
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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280
    Dear Mr Lennon/McCartney(*) In the late 60s you were one of the two most prominent members of arguably the most popular and successful rock/pop band of all time. You were routinely praised by musicians of the pedigree of Leonard Bernstein and Aaron Copeland. One side effect of this is that you were popular with the ladies on a scale that very few men in history could match. Women with intelligence, talent, winning personalities and world class beauty were yours for the asking. So - Yoko/Linda (*) - wtf? Yours, Baffled men everywhere. (*) delete as appropriate Sorry for layout - seems to be an iPad issue
    Just Let it be, they've had a hard day's night you know.
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  • imaloneimalone Frets: 748
    HAL9000 said:
    @blueingreen. Layout is indeed an iPad issue. Press the edit button three times (not sure why three but seems to do the trick). Then press the button that looks like <> and you should be able to format your post properly. Hope this helps.
    What song is this? Is it something by U2?
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  • Thanks for the suggestions - I've edited on Mac.  One good thing about this forum - some forums you can't edit stuff if you log out and in again, or on another machine.
    “To a man with a hammer every problem looks like a nail.”
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  • joeyowenjoeyowen Frets: 4025
    Thanks for the suggestions - I've edited on Mac.  One good thing about this forum - some forums you can't edit stuff if you log out and in again, or on another machine.
    I actually thought that was an open letter of clarification, I was trying to wonder who too....
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