Cringeworthy Lyrics.

Bellycaster

Don't know if we've done this yet?

There must be loads of lyrical pearlers out there. Which songs do you know that contain the most Cringeworthy lyrics?

I'll give you these 2 beauties to start.

1. ABC -  That Was Then But This Is Now.

Lyrics contain:

Can't complain, musn't grumble. Help yourself to another piece of Apple Crumble.

2. Shakira - Whenever, Wherever

Lyrics contain:

Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains.

Were they pissed?

 

PS: This is just a bit of fun, in case the more artistically sensitive among you disapprove

Lixarto

Razorlight - shite in every way possible.

"Somewhere Else" contains this: "And I met a girl / she asked me my name / I told her what it was".

Jesus wept.

ICBM

I'm a big fan of Shakira, she's quite brilliant . I'm not offended by you thinking she was pissed though!

I actually think that song is very clever as well as funny - as is a lot of her material - but her songwriting looks even more impressive when you realise English isn't her first language and that she often writes versions of the same song in more than one language. She does admit to keeping a thesaurus to hand, but there's a lot of very unusual wordplay in her songs that frankly is far more literate than most songwriters whose first language is English...

Laundry Service is one of my favourite albums ever, and a couple of the others aren't far behind.

And I really liked ABC back in the day too... Lexicon Of Love is one of the definitive albums of the 80s.


I'm totally with Lixarto on Razorlight though!

ftumch

The two that spring to mind as always making me shake my head in disbelief are, 'the world is just a great big onion' and I forget the other one. I'll get back to you

Bellycaster

@ICBM

Quite right, praise where it's due for someone writing in a foreign tongue.

I should have actually added that I too like both artists.

One thing I wasn't sure of was who actually wrote the songs in question. A lot of "Pop" artists(for want of a better word) have a lot of songs written for them. 

There's probably loads of howlers by other bands I consider my favourites too.

 

 

B-)

RocknRollDave

The whole of SYMM by the Manics. The subject matter* deserved far, far better.

*Hillsborough, more specifically South Yorksire Police's response to it.

Bellycaster

RocknRollDave said:

The whole of SYMM by the Manics. The subject matter* deserved far, far better.

*Hillsborough, more specifically South Yorksire Police's response to it.

Yeah, not groundbreaking lyricwise, but credit to them for saying something at least.

I'm only 2 miles from Hillsborough as well. I've heard a lot of things said about that day. I don't have anything good to say about how it was handled by S.Y.P.

I'll just leave it there.

 

ICBM

Bellycaster said:

One thing I wasn't sure of was who actually wrote the songs in question.

I'm sure it's Shakira. She claims to, and from the way they're written and the type of lyrical content I don't doubt it. I do agree some of them come across a little 'mangled' by the language barrier though .

My favourite on Laundry Service is actually Poem To A Horse... which has some bits which also sound like they might be cringeworthy until you hear where it goes and how she delivers it. And do you know another song which contains the word 'hydroponic'?

The ABC one is definitely by Martin Fry too.

Bellycaster said:

There's probably loads of howlers by other bands I consider my favourites too.

For sure. Quite a lot by some of mine too... one of the worst is Heather Nova's 'Paint The World', and she's one of my favourite ever artists.

"This is so stupid

This is so lame

This is so stupid

Playing these games

Everything is out of focus

Everything's in pain

This is so stupid"

Er... yes.

Bellycaster

@ICBM

Yes, I could safely say I have never heard the use of "Hydroponic" as a lyric. But I dare say she most likely made it work ;-) 

Damn, there is another Unique Lyric on the tip of my tongue that is in a popular song, it's not coming to me ~X(.

It's probably in a Beatles song.

 

 

sinbaadi

After trying again today to like Random Access Memories, lyrics that I cringe at are:
1. If you do it riiiight
Let it go all niggght
Shadows on you brreaak
Out in to the liiiight.

Right, night, light. Creative. I think I just hate that track though, although it promises much more with the robot backing voice intro.

2. I just keep playing back,
These fragments of time,
Everywhere I go,
These moments will shine.

"These moments will shine"? Seriously?
And that one ends with what feels almost like the TV Burp end of show song thing too, which makes it infinitely worse.

dogload

Culture Club with 'War Song':

'War. War is stupid,

And people are stupid

And I heard them banging 

On hearts and fingers'

So there.

bertie

surely these are just "silly" lyrics, not cringeworthy ?

cringeworthy is Toto's attempt at trying to get "Serengeti"  to fit the melody

DulcetJones

Good thing there doesn't seem to be many country fans here, lots of material there.  Like George Strait, "The Fireman"  -  

They call me the fireman 
That's my name 
Makin' my rounds all over town 

Puttin' out old flames  

Rich

Agreed on the country thing, but that's part of the charm! Was just listening to Teenage Queen by Lonnie Baron this morning. Great song, but the first two lines are:

Teenage Queen, now eighteen

A year ago was seventeen.

OK.

If you listen to those old country and rockabilly compilations, lots of the lyrics there are absolutely terrible. And yet great, in another way...

fatherjack

Tumbling Down by Cockney Rebel:

Hail! to the monkey; we're having a funky reunion
Wasted and sunk, he can only have Sunday communion
He's got nicotine stains in his eyes
He's got nothing to protect but his pride
Oh! smother the kiss or be drownded in blissful confusion

monquixote

Life by Des'ree

End of thread. 

snakemanStoo

Thanks to Bill Bryson I heard the wonderful 'Dropkick me Jesus'

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goal posts of life
End over end, neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them, righteous up rights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goal posts of life

Bidley

Katy Perry

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag"

ICBM

monquixote said:

Life by Des'ree

End of thread. 

Not quite... she has a lot more songs that that.

bigjon

monquixote said:

Life by Des'ree

End of thread. 

That was the one I first thought of. The 'toast' line especially

bigjon

ZZ Top, 'Sheik' - never let geography get in the way of an obvious rhyme:-

I met a sheik

in Mozambique