Friday humour

Hootsmon

Hootsmon

Fretwired

Fretwired

So true ....

Maynehead

http://www.funnysigns.net/files/dog-does-a-poo.jpg

DesVegas

http://i.imgur.com/qLHArZw.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/ciwL4gN.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/CxRvwsA.jpg

merlin

A young Greek man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The one on the right." "That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?" The Greek mother replies "I don't like her."

merlin

An atheist is walking through a forest and comes to a small clearing. The peace and quiet is so wonderful that he sits and starts to contemplate how extraordinary is Nature. He begins to ponder the wonder of the amazing genetic machine, combined with the right heat from the Sun, the water etc that allowed Life to begin, develop and diversify in all it's complexity. 

Just then he hears a loud snap of wood and turns round to see an enormous black bear approaching him. He tries to remain still and quiet but the bear walks right up to him, rears up a full 8 feet on its rear legs and lets out a might growl as it raises it's giant claws to devour him. 

"Oh my God, please help me" yells out the man as his death seems upon him. 

At that point, the bear freezes and a wonderful light fills the clearing. This light seems to have no centre and is warm and relaxing. Then the man hears a voice, calming yet authoritative, powerful yet gentle. 

"My son, you are in grave danger and yet you have never believed in me, so why should I help you now?" Asked the voice that seemed to come from nowhere. "If I help you now, will you become a true Christian and follow me for the rest of your days?"

"Well", replied the man, "how can I be sure that you are real now and not an hallucination caused by my fear and adrenaline? I cannot promise to follow you, like you ask, so why don't you turn the bear into a Christian, right now?"

"Very well", replied the voice, "that I can do."

And suddenly, the light vanished to a non-existent point and the clearing was as before, only this time the bear was looking at him lovingly, with his head tilted slightly to the side. 

Then the bear raised his enormous brown eyes to the Heavens, put his paws together, sighed and said deeply and softly, 

"For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful".....

Fretwired

Fretwired

Sambostar

Hootsmon

Hootsmon

Hootsmon

hotpot

The pitfalls of calling your son Clint.

Hootsmon

Fretwired

Hootsmon

Hootsmon

Fretwired