Why did Bono fall off the stage?

Panama_Jack666

Because he was too close to The Edge.

I've been waiting to make that joke until we got rid of face palms!

C'mon then, what's the best 'music' joke you have?

viz

Mods, can you put facepalms back just for one day please?

dindude

What has 3 legs and a cvnt?

 

 

A drum stool.

bertie

Bono

aiye'ankyoo

"know it,  I fuckin wrote it"     -   you all know the rest

Phil_aka_Pip

Panama_Jack666 said:

Because he was too close to The Edge.

Yes, I heard it before. My tolerance is getting Fragile though.

Panama_Jack666

Out of all the gangs in all the world, the Triads are certainly my favourite. They just strike a chord with me.

not_the_dj

Phil_aka_Pip said:

Panama_Jack666 said:

Because he was too close to The Edge.

Yes, I heard it before. My tolerance is getting Fragile though.

Have a lol

octatonic

Panama_Jack666 said:

Because he was too close to The Edge.

I've been waiting to make that joke until we got rid of face palms!

C'mon then, what's the best 'music' joke you have?

http://files.abovetopsecret.com/files/img/eg4e9d9238.jpg

ROOG

Godzilla Facepalms, clearly the future.

I think it should read; "when Godzilla gives you a facepalm you don't get to make another mistake."

guitarfishbay

What's the difference between a drummer and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of 4.

(Ouch).

johnnyurq

Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?

A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.


Q: What's the last thing a drummer says before he gets kicked out of a band?

A: "When do we get to play MY songs?"


Q: Why is it a good thing that drummers are a little smarter than horses?

A: So that they don't disgrace themselves in parades.


Q: What's the difference between a live drummer and a drum machine?

A: With the drum machine you only have to punch the information in once.



Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a terrorist?

A: Terrorists have sympathisers.


Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a guitar players arm?

A: A tattoo.


Q: What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?

A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.


Q: How do you reduce wind-drag on a bass players car?

A: Take the "Domino's Pizza" sign off the roof.


Q: How do you get a bass player off of your porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.


Q: How do you get a guitarist to play softer?

A: Give him music to read.


Q: How many electric guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Five. One to actually do it, and the other 4 to reminisce about how
much better the old tubes were.

mike_l

What do you need to re-unite the beatles?

A gun and 2 bullets.........

 

How do you get 2 drummers to play in time?

Shoot one........

DiscoStu

Why did KT Tunstall crash her car off the road in winter?

Cos it was suddenly icy.

Lewy

Why is there no jazz in Star Trek?

Because it's set in the future.

Bellycaster

What do you call a Guitarist without a Girlfriend?

 

 

 

Homeless.

Phil_aka_Pip

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it.

I thought, "That's Aboriginal."

------------------ 

Batman came up to me and he hit me over the head with a vase and he went 

T'PAU!

I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?"

He said "No, I've got china in my hand."

Phil_aka_Pip

C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says:
"Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and the C
and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the
fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries
to augment the situation, but is not sharp
enough.

D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying,
"Excuse me, I'll just be a second." Then an A comes into the bar,
but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a
minor.

Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and
exclaims, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this
bar tonight."

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next
night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender
(who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized)
says, "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a
major development."




This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and
everything else, and stands there au natural.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under
a rest.
The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the
diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without
Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C
is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all
accusations to the contrary are bassless.

Phil_aka_Pip

what does the trombone player say at his gig?

- do you want fries with that?

................................................................

what does a guitarist use as a contraceptive?

- his personality

ESBlonde

What do you throw to a drowning guitarist


His amplifier.

ICBM

How do you know when there's a drummer at your door?

The knocking keeps speeding up.


How do you know when there's a singer at your door?

He can't find the right key, and even when you tell him which it is, he comes in at the wrong place.


What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you throw an accordion into a skip without it touching the sides.

Panama_Jack666

ICBM said:

How do you know when there's a drummer at your door?

The knocking keeps speeding up.


How do you know when there's a singer at your door?

He can't find the right key, and even when you tell him which it is, he comes in at the wrong place.


What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you throw an accordion into a skip without it touching the sides.

Ha, have a LOL.