Leaving Bands

Teetonetal

Bah, Just left the band I've been playing with.

Such a shitty feeling, when you elect to leave when actually you enjoy, the atmosphere, everyone works hard and takes it seriously whilst still having fun.

But life is too short to be flogging a dead horse. Singers voice isn't strong enough to do what she wants to do and the drummer has the worst memory ever Telling is we are not being asked back to places to play.

Got offered a dep spot with a different band a while ago and they called up asking if I'd like to do it permanently, they are nice guys, the music is good and they seem committed, crucially ithe rehearsal space is much closer to where I live, so have taken the plunge. Time will tell if its a good choice.

any band leaving regrets out there? history suggests I don't always make agood calls in this area

DesVegas

Every band i have ever quit has been for a good reason and i never had any regrets .. 

Also, reunions do happen so it might not be over over.

Over.

slacker

I was kicked out of a band a couple of years ago.that wasn't Good but no regrets.

 I Iwalked straight into a club covers band. They were a little econmical with the truth. They billed it as a working band but it was a start up. I did a number of rehearsals and I just knew it would train wreck. I came up with a plausible excuse.I later heared that they did a warm up gig and it trainwrecked. No regrets.

6 months later I got into a classic rock covers start up. It wasn't great and I was using it as a place holder.4 months in the singer told ,e the drummer had left and they folded the band. I expressed sympathy. I even suspect it was a polite way to boot me out. Doesn't matter I wouldn't have stayed long term.

Imho any situation that isn't tied into earnings isn't worth  staying in if you are not happy.if it is an earner, get something else, then leave.

digitalscream

I quit my last band, and it folded. I wasn't enjoying it any more - I was drowning in all the work, and nobody else was pitching in.

Since then I've slept better than I ever have, but I've also been more bored and generally "meh". Can't face another band, but I'm also making exactly zero progress on my solo project due to the sheer volume of work that needs to be done to even get started.

Drew_TNBD

digitalscream said:

I quit my last band, and it folded. I wasn't enjoying it any more - I was drowning in all the work, and nobody else was pitching in.

Since then I've slept better than I ever have, but I've also been more bored and generally "meh". Can't face another band, but I'm also making exactly zero progress on my solo project due to the sheer volume of work that needs to be done to even get started.

Write some stuff, and I'll put my warblings to it.

Teetonetal

digitalscream said:

I quit my last band, and it folded. I wasn't enjoying it any more - I was drowning in all the work, and nobody else was pitching in.

Since then I've slept better than I ever have, but I've also been more bored and generally "meh". Can't face another band, but I'm also making exactly zero progress on my solo project due to the sheer volume of work that needs to be done to even get started.

I learn't that I'm rubbish with just solo projects to fulfill, life just gets in the way, it becomes long, drawn out and eventually peters off into nothing lots of admiration for those who can pull a solo project off.

I need the motivation that working in a band provides, I find I generally play more and enjoy music more. 

Saying that - if a band runs you down, then having a break and realising that you miss it, is no bad thing.

slacker

Ref some comments above re solo projects. I invited a mate in a similar situation to jam for a day. We played some covers, some originals, got my son to cover on drums for a bit, ate and drank some beer.

We didn't actually get much done but music was a lot more fun that day.

digitalscream

Well, not to distract from the topic, but my solo project is somewhat more complex - before I can even get started on the music, I have to write the overall story, write the script for the artwork portion of it and write the backstories for the main characters (which will become the basis for the musical part of the whole thing).

I may well have bitten off more than I can chew

slacker

Do that long term and try something else short term. I can't decide between resurrecting Slacker version something or a instrumental surf band. I may do both. or none.

hotpickups

If it's any consolation I even quitted my own band I started due to the wankers I recruited for it LOL. I learnt my lesson from that band and now I see the signs early on when forming subsequent bands since. Doesn't happen anymore but the wankers still carried on playing in the same band I started LOL

EricTheWeary

hotpickups said:

If it's any consolation I even quitted my own band I started due to the wankers I recruited for it LOL. I learnt my lesson from that band and now I see the signs early on when forming subsequent bands since. Doesn't happen anymore but the wankers still carried on playing in the same band I started LOL

I started a band about 12 years ago, me and the drummer took ages to put it together but in the end after 18 months or so I left in a bit of a strop. There is still a version of that band together including one of the people who was in it back then ( one of the other original members seems to do their posters for them). They played my local rugby club last weekend and I was very tempted to go along but not quite sure I wanted to go up and say anything ( other than possibly ' Oi, I'm charging you for copyright on the band name!').

viz

digitalscream said:

I quit my last band, and it folded. I wasn't enjoying it any more - I was drowning in all the work, and nobody else was pitching in.

Since then I've slept better than I ever have, but I've also been more bored and generally "meh". Can't face another band, but I'm also making exactly zero progress on my solo project due to the sheer volume of work that needs to be done to even get started.

Maybe if you have a network of musician friends to hand, try just calling together the odd project when you feel like it, just for a bit of fun? I consider myself as hardly ever having the time to play, but actually when I look back, in the last 9 months I've done a pub do with BigJon, one or two jam nights, 4 festivals, a musical production for a school, a couple of spontaneous parties where the instruments came out, a Christmas carols event, and I have a street party, a 50th birthday, possibly a work do, and a silly venture called Laugh Out Lounge lined up for the summer. I'm happy with that level of performing. Most of it's not serious or taxing or lucrative, it's just a laugh and suits my life fine. Maybe that approach would keep it interesting and varied for you without lots of heavy commitment? Same for Teetonal.

Teetonetal

viz said:

digitalscream said:

I quit my last band, and it folded. I wasn't enjoying it any more - I was drowning in all the work, and nobody else was pitching in.

Since then I've slept better than I ever have, but I've also been more bored and generally "meh". Can't face another band, but I'm also making exactly zero progress on my solo project due to the sheer volume of work that needs to be done to even get started.

Maybe if you have a network of musician friends to hand, try just calling together the odd project when you feel like it, just for a bit of fun? I consider myself as hardly ever having the time to play, but actually when I look back, in the last 9 months I've done a pub do with BigJon, one or two jam nights, 4 festivals, a musical production for a school, a couple of spontaneous parties where the instruments came out, a Christmas carols event, and I have a street party, a 50th birthday, possibly a work do, and a silly venture called Laugh Out Lounge lined up for the summer. I'm happy with that level of performing. Most of it's not serious or taxing or lucrative, it's just a laugh and suits my life fine. Maybe that approach would keep it interesting and varied for you without lots of heavy commitment? Same for Teetonal.

I really agree with that.

First and foremost music needs to be fun, and for me, money earning is irrelevant as it's a hobby. I mentioned on anothe thread that my first gig with the new band is tomorrow, I have to drive from Zurich to Frankfurt, there's no money in it all, but it's a fun festival, organized by a friend of the band, with 700 ish people going.

Had a cracking rehearsal last night and I really think this band is going to be a lot of fun. Plus the level of musicianaship is a couple of notches higher.

@Digitalscream wouldn't mind betting that sooner or later you start getting the band itch again, you strike me a someone who loves the playing and performing.

Danny1969

I think it gets easier as you get older. I'm gigging in 5 different bands now (dep'ing aside) and the last one finalized was sealed with  just a few texts, we booked a gig,  agreed on a set list, one rehearsal and we did the gig. Since then we have done another 5 gigs and had one more rehearsal. The other 4 bands generally run like clockwork, there might be the odd bit of illness that needs a dep to cover but other than that it's pretty plain sailing.

viz

^ good point re. getting older, I think.

p90fool

Danny1969;1096044" said:

I think it gets easier as you get older. I'm gigging in 5 different bands now (dep'ing aside) and the last one finalized was sealed with  just a few texts, we booked a gig,  agreed on a set list, one rehearsal and we did the gig. Since then we have done another 5 gigs and had one more rehearsal. The other 4 bands generally run like clockwork, there might be the odd bit of illness that needs a dep to cover but other than that it's pretty plain sailing.

I agree, but think it's only partly about getting older, it's also about the fact that you're already busy so timewasters just fall away.

I'm in a similar situation, nobody asks me to do stupid unpaid start-up fantasy stuff, I only get asked to play with real working bands.

It's a little like when someone is bored with their job and fancy a different one, that's a lot easier to accomplish than getting a decent job from being in the dole.

I sympathise with anyone trying to get gigging from scratch, I know if I moved to a different area it would take a long time to build a reputation as a reliable working musician again.

ESBlonde

/\ Much Wisdom. /\

Ben8010

I came close to leaving my band twice due to me getting a bit annoyed about the fact that no one else seems to sort anything out other than me and I was worried about the other's commitment. In the end I've always stuck with it because we still get along and I'm beggining to realise that, like a lot of things actually, there always needs to be one person to be a leader. I seem to see this scenario a lot - where one person leads the band and starts to get a bit annoyed about it, which leads me to believe that the grass may not be always greener.

I think that's the point I'm getting at - the grass isn't always greener - especially as it appears that commited & motivated musicians in my age group in my area seem hard to come by. I don't mind leading the band, but I question if I'm the right person to lead a band sometimes and I would be much happier if the others chipped in with some stuff, but I'd be terrified to leave in case I ended up bandless for too long or ended up in the same situation.

Sorry to bore you with my early "can't be bothered to actually start working" monday morning ramblings!

digitalscream

Ben8010 said:

I seem to see this scenario a lot - where one person leads the band and starts to get a bit annoyed about it, which leads me to believe that the grass may not be always greener.

The problem is that "leading the band" is not the same thing as "doing all the work for the band". Every band needs a leader, but every band also needs everyone to put the same effort in if they're going to be successful.

Obviously, I'm just talking about original bands here, because my experience of cover bands has expired from memory.

hotpickups

Well my scenario was exactly yours and I did fold the band because of all what you say and yes I then didn't gig for over a year trying to reform the band again with different band members. However, it had to be done because it was taking over my life with all the work the band members left me to do so it had to go. Now though I have got great band members who are keen and at this stage seem prepared to help promote and do a bit of work which is all I ever asked for.

So at the end of the day I'm saying just follow your gut. It's not always the easier route but personally I'm happier for it

Hope it helps

Ben8010;1108193" said:

I came close to leaving my band twice due to me getting a bit annoyed about the fact that no one else seems to sort anything out other than me and I was worried about the other's commitment. In the end I've always stuck with it because we still get along and I'm beggining to realise that, like a lot of things actually, there always needs to be one person to be a leader. I seem to see this scenario a lot - where one person leads the band and starts to get a bit annoyed about it, which leads me to believe that the grass may not be always greener.



I think that's the point I'm getting at - the grass isn't always greener - especially as it appears that commited & motivated musicians in my age group in my area seem hard to come by. I don't mind leading the band, but I question if I'm the right person to

lead a band sometimes and I would be much happier if the others chipped

in with some stuff, but I'd be terrified to leave in case I ended up bandless for too long or ended up in the same situation.



Sorry to bore you with my early "can't be bothered to actually start working" monday morning ramblings!

Ben8010

digitalscream said:

Ben8010 said:

I seem to see this scenario a lot - where one person leads the band and starts to get a bit annoyed about it, which leads me to believe that the grass may not be always greener.

The problem is that "leading the band" is not the same thing as "doing all the work for the band". Every band needs a leader, but every band also needs everyone to put the same effort in if they're going to be successful.

Obviously, I'm just talking about original bands here, because my experience of cover bands has expired from memory.

Yeah I used the term "leader" for the person "doing all the work for the band" in that context, should have been clearer there. I agree that everyone has to do work but I think in most cases there's always going to be some that put in more of a shift than others