Crap auditions

TheOtherDennis

Time to fess up.

Last night, after much failure to get anywhere with people on joinmyband (even when someone replied to me and we spoke and stuff, then nothing ever came of it) I finally got down to a rehearsal with a potential band.

And I stank the place out. In my defence, I'd never heard of three of the songs he'd asked me to look at, they were also playing their own arrangements of those songs so even if I'd known them I'd have been out of place, and I only had one day's notice of the chords for said songs.

In truth, ALL the songs contained a maximum of four chords, all of which I should have known (and, in fact, do know and have been playing for sodding years) but I had a major brain freeze. I couldn't even remember how to do an E5 power chord. Something I've played thousands - literally - of times. Even in front of people. I was hopeless.

Horribly embarrassing. So much so that at the end, when he said "I've got four other guys to see" I put us all out of our misery and said "Nah, if I can't get any of that right, don't worry about it guys, I'll pass."

THEY were perfectly patient and nice throughout, and had no expectations of me being a fiery shredder cos they only wanted a rhythm player anyway, but I still couldn't even do that. At one point I even forget how to work my amp.

Now that it's over, and I've licked my wounds overnight, I've decided that the best way to move on is to own up.

So I'm wondering does anyone else have any awful tales of embarrassing ineptitude they need to get off their chest that they've been too traumatised to admit before now? Come on, guys, get that monkey off your back. (You never know, the night terrors may actually stop.)

Please?

Even if it's only to make me feel, well, I was going to say better, but the truth is less bad.

mike_l

There's a strong pissabolity that I've played wrong chords and completely different songs to others at jam nights........

Col_Decker

And that children is how we invented Jazz

Col_Decker

But OP, forget about it and move all. It happens.

mike_l

Col_Decker said:

And that children is how we invented Jazz

Bad Decker using th J-word. Go to the J-step.

maltingsaudio

I'll admit to going for an audition with a deep purple tribute and forgetting/brain freeze the intro to smoke on the water!

jd0272

Forgotten how the track goes literally seconds before we're launching into it when gigging, started solo's at the wrong place/incompletely the wrong key. Crowds barely notice. I wouldn't sweat it, you're actively looking for a band, just keep going. We all have 'moments' of some description.

siremoon

I suspect most of us have done something similar at some time.

We went to a place which had an open mike night on and before we could say anything our singer volunteered us to play Caroline.  Half way through the intro I had a brain failure and couldn't for the life of me remember how the riff went and consequently went on to make a complete pig's breakfast of it each of the 4 times I was supposed to play it.  Our bass and rhythm players couldn't play for laughing and the singer had a face like thunder.    Not my finest hour

monquixote

Have you auditioned for bands in the past?

Do you think it's that you aren't as good as you thought you were, or that you blew it because of nerves?

I think you have to assume in these situations (live, rehearsal, recording studio) that you will only play at half the level of ability you can pull off at home in ideal circumstances, or at least that's how it is for me.

mike_l

jd0272 said:

We all have 'moments' of some description.

When I have them it's called getting the note/chord/timing correct........ >:D<

vasselmeyer

I did one once where they wanted me to play "Highway to Hell", "Since You've Been Gone" and "I Love Rock n Roll". While the intros are all distinctive there is a certain similarity in the timing of the riffs and I messed every one of them up by playing the wrong chords to the wrong rhythm.

I was offered the spot but didn't take it. If they were happy to have me with that performance then I didn't actually want to be in the band. A bit like when Groucho Marx said "I don't want to be in any club that would accept me as a member."

JayGee

Experiences like that are like masturbation. We've all either done it or lie about it :-)

So, the worst happened. The ground didn't open up and swallow you (much as you might have wished it might, or at least that's how I felt about it when it happened to me...), nobody died, nobody laughed at you at the time, you've posted it here and while a few of us are laughing with you about it nobody's laughing at you here either.

You now have the definitive answer to "what's the worst thing that could possibly happen", know that it's really not *that* bad and that if it happens again (and now that it's happened once I honestly believe it's considerably less likely to happen again) you can survive it. Keep trying, if there's a band for me there's a band for anyone :-)

Cirrus

JayGee said:

Experiences like that are like masturbation. We've all either done it or lie about it :-)

I'm doing it now, to your post.

@TheOtherDennis, I'm going to assume you didn't turn up stinking of booze, try to kiss each member on both cheeks, get lost and spend two hours frantically calling the band to work out where you were, or do a good audition then decide you actually don't want to be in a band at all so it was a waste of time. So it could have been worse! (those things happened to my band a few years ago while looking for a singer).

mike_l

Cirrus said:

JayGee said:

Experiences like that are like masturbation. We've all either done it or lie about it :-)

I'm doing it now, to your post.

But you're not lying......

jd0272

mike_l said:

jd0272 said:

We all have 'moments' of some description.

When I have them it's called getting the note/chord/timing correct........ >:D<

Aye, a frequent happening!

Cirrus

mike_l;134180" said:

But you're not lying......

Agreed. I just wanted you to know! >:)

TheOtherDennis

@ Col Decker - that was the point of posting. Get it down and move on.

@ jd0272 and siremoon - Done that, too, to "Boys Don't Cry" Don't think the audience even heard us, tbh.

@ Mike_l - I did get the note/chord/timing correct once. Unfortunately, it was the bit where I wasn't supposed to play anything, just let the singer do his acapella bit.

@ monquixote - No. Both. Fair point, I really must practice more, generally.

@ vasselmeyer - Ah, Groucho. "This is so simple a five year old could do it." "Then get me a five year old, I'm baffled."

@ Jaygee - True, true. I'm going to keep trying, but last night everything was so simple and I still messed it up. I mean, seriously, forgetting how to get a noise out a 50 watt amp??? :-S

@ Cirrus - No, fortunately, I wasn't quite that bad.

JayGee

TheOtherDennis said:

@ Jaygee - ....I mean, seriously, forgetting how to get a noise out a 50 watt amp??? :-S

Guess what happens if you have a "4-wire" pedal board setup, plug the "return" lead into the back of your amp, but leave the "send" lead dangling.

Now guess how I know.... :-)

mike_l

Cirrus said:

mike_l;134180" said:

But you're not lying......

Agreed. I just wanted you to know! >:)

Next time please don't do that in my office.

ChrisMusic

JayGee said:   Experiences like that are like masturbation. We've all either done it or lie about it :-)

I don't see the problem, after all it is just having sex with someone you love, and have committed to a lifetime relationship with.  

mike_l

ChrisMusic said:

JayGee said:   Experiences like that are like masturbation. We've all either done it or lie about it :-)

I don't see the problem, after all it is just having sex with someone you love, and have committed to a lifetime relationship with.  

No headaches either :-S