Band Advice drugs.......

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professorbenprofessorben Frets: 4101
ok so I'm in a band, it's going pretty well, about 4 months in and with one thing and another only 5 rehearsals with full line up, and we have a few original songs coming together, it's a slow process cos we are writing as we go. 

Trouble is, we all drive to pracco and the rest of the guys split a 4 pack, I don't drink a drop when I drive so I abstain. 

But now the other 3 have started smoking weed during the 'fag' break. 

I used to go and hang out with them before, chatting and generally chill, but now they are smoking weed I stayed in the room and just fiddled with my rig (phnar phnar) 


FYI
I got beaten up in my mid 20's by a gang of guys after one of my mates tried to by weed off one of them, they jumped us one night playing footie and I got knocked out and one guy kicked me in the face while I was out on the floor

Hospital, Stitches etc....

im pretty anti drugs now. 


Do I walk away??
I like the guys tho and I'm really enjoying the music, it's my only social interaction, and I feel like too much time has passed ( even tho not many rehearsals) for me to turn around and say " nah not for me"

thoughts??



" Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
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  • StrangefanStrangefan Frets: 1899
    To be honest, if that's what they want to do then let them, if they were smoking heroin or crack that would be a different matter zbut weed, I can't see an issue with. 
    To let someone's personal choice which should not effect you, being a deciding factor to continue the  band, sounds like something you may regret on the long run.
    www.deadhappyband.com
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  • professorbenprofessorben Frets: 4101
    To be honest, if that's what they want to do then let them, if they were smoking heroin or crack that would be a different matter zbut weed, I can't see an issue with. 
    To let someone's personal choice which should not effect you, being a deciding factor to continue the  band, sounds like something you may regret on the long run.
    I kinda see your point, but someone else's personal choice ended up putting me in hospital simply by association. 

    I don't smoke, but I used to smoke weed at the age of 18/19 but never since, is it not a bit sad in your 30's/40's??

    if I leave I'll miss it very much, but I'm not sure I really have much choice. 
    " Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
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  • digitalscreamdigitalscream Frets: 10406
    edited March 16
    To be honest, if that's what they want to do then let them, if they were smoking heroin or crack that would be a different matter zbut weed, I can't see an issue with. 
    To let someone's personal choice which should not effect you, being a deciding factor to continue the  band, sounds like something you may regret on the long run.
    That's all well and good, but when it comes to gigging venues tend to frown on bands who stink of weed.

    I personally tend to have a rule - no weed while on band business. If they're so hooked that they can't possibly abstain for a couple of hours a week, then it's inevitably going to cause problems further down the line anyway (eg when it starts to cost the whole band money at studio time when they can't get their shit together).

    Also, the smell makes me nauseous.
    "Mains is ouchy if you get it up you" - Sporky
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  • gusman2xgusman2x Frets: 491

    Doubt you're at any real risk because they smoke. If you have a real hard principaled objection to weed (and it's totally fine if you do), or the social aspect is getting you down, then fair enough. Otherwise, I'd just get on with it. If you like the music, their company, then weed aint the worst of it.

    If them being pot heads starts to manifest in other ways (not responding to texts, missing practices, being moaney), then they'll be just like every other bandmate ever lol.

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  • professorbenprofessorben Frets: 4101
    gusman2x said:

    Doubt you're at any real risk because they smoke. If you have a real hard principaled objection to weed (and it's totally fine if you do), or the social aspect is getting you down, then fair enough. Otherwise, I'd just get on with it. If you like the music, their company, then weed aint the worst of it.

    If them being pot heads starts to manifest in other ways (not responding to texts, missing practices, being moaney), then they'll be just like every other bandmate ever lol.

    Well, it cost me two teeth and a load of stitches last time I was mates with weed smokers. 
    " Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
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  • PolarityManPolarityMan Frets: 4013
    I think the bigger problem is that you've only just beaten one practice a month and it sounds like some of the practice time is spent drinking and smoking so you're losing what little time you do have. Without knowing what percentage of a practice you actually spend plying maybe what you need to evaluate is if it has an impact on the progress you are making or not.
    This is my rant thread, there are others like it, but this one is mine.
    Bet you're wondering if this is a flounce? Truth is I haven't decided yet.
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  • digitalscreamdigitalscream Frets: 10406
    gusman2x said:

    Doubt you're at any real risk because they smoke. If you have a real hard principaled objection to weed (and it's totally fine if you do), or the social aspect is getting you down, then fair enough. Otherwise, I'd just get on with it. If you like the music, their company, then weed aint the worst of it.

    If them being pot heads starts to manifest in other ways (not responding to texts, missing practices, being moaney), then they'll be just like every other bandmate ever lol.

    Well, it cost me two teeth and a load of stitches last time I was mates with weed smokers. 
    In fairness to the other side...that's not exactly a regular occurrence and probably more to do with those specific people than weed-smokers in general.
    "Mains is ouchy if you get it up you" - Sporky
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  • John_PJohn_P Frets: 1393
    I'd say the 5 rehearsals in 4 months is probably a reason to leave.   I can't see how a song writing band can work like that. 

    I'd agree they drink and drugs is up to them but not during band time.    If it's just a laugh and laid back then fine.  If you want to get anything done then no. 
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  • RocknRollDaveRocknRollDave Frets: 4196
    gusman2x said:

    Doubt you're at any real risk because they smoke. If you have a real hard principaled objection to weed (and it's totally fine if you do), or the social aspect is getting you down, then fair enough. Otherwise, I'd just get on with it. If you like the music, their company, then weed aint the worst of it.

    If them being pot heads starts to manifest in other ways (not responding to texts, missing practices, being moaney), then they'll be just like every other bandmate ever lol.

    Well, it cost me two teeth and a load of stitches last time I was mates with weed smokers. 
    If you'd been beaten up by a drunk, would you refuse to work with people who drink alcohol?

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  • BridgehouseBridgehouse Frets: 8745
    If it bothers you now, it will probably continue to bother you. 

    I was in a band with a guy who insisted on getting blind drunk after every gig. He became a liability. Band went down the tubes pretty much because of it.

    Have you talked to them about it?
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  • digitalscreamdigitalscream Frets: 10406
    John_P said:
    I'd say the 5 rehearsals in 4 months is probably a reason to leave.   I can't see how a song writing band can work like that. 
    I'd be inclined to agree with this. Is the reason for the lack of get-togethers a (very) slow ramp-up, or is it "I'm too busy, maaaan"? ;)
    "Mains is ouchy if you get it up you" - Sporky
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  • professorbenprofessorben Frets: 4101
    I think the bigger problem is that you've only just beaten one practice a month and it sounds like some of the practice time is spent drinking and smoking so you're losing what little time you do have. Without knowing what percentage of a practice you actually spend plying maybe what you need to evaluate is if it has an impact on the progress you are making or not.
    Tbf we get a shit load done each rehearsal and everyone is focussed, it's hard because we only found the new drummer in Jan and two of the guys work continental shift patterns, at different firms, so it doesn't always match up. 

    They are all employed family guys so it's not like I'm having to turf them out of bed at 2pm or confiscate the Xbox.

    I guess maybe thats another issue in it's self. 
    " Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
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  • guitarfishbayguitarfishbay Frets: 6050
    I'd walk. It's all of them against you so you can chat to them about it but you're outnumbered so would lose a vote on it.

     They can do what they want in their spare time but if you're not happy with them drinking and smoking weed at rehearsals then maybe you don't fit in. Long term how personalities mix is a big thing, if it's going to bug you now it'll still bug you in another 6 months 


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  • professorbenprofessorben Frets: 4101
    gusman2x said:

    Doubt you're at any real risk because they smoke. If you have a real hard principaled objection to weed (and it's totally fine if you do), or the social aspect is getting you down, then fair enough. Otherwise, I'd just get on with it. If you like the music, their company, then weed aint the worst of it.

    If them being pot heads starts to manifest in other ways (not responding to texts, missing practices, being moaney), then they'll be just like every other bandmate ever lol.

    Well, it cost me two teeth and a load of stitches last time I was mates with weed smokers. 
    If you'd been beaten up by a drunk, would you refuse to work with people who drink alcohol?
    I'd refuse to work with someone who buys alcohol illegally after getting beaten up by a black-market booze seller they tried to buy it from, if that's what you mean then yes. 
    " Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
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  • StrangefanStrangefan Frets: 1899
    See for me, as the good professor said they work hard at practice, and to be fair smoking a bit of weed doesn't define you, if the music's good and its not getting in the way then  it should be fine, 
    In regards to your issue with it, you went throigj something bloody awful, but it's a hugely rare occurrence, when I smoked I chose my dealer wisely, if they dealt anything else I would have nothing to do with them, but if it's just weed then you usually find they're sound,... This is just from experience by the way, 
    www.deadhappyband.com
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  • Moe_ZambeekMoe_Zambeek Frets: 1893
    5 practices in 4 months.
    2 separate shift work patterns to work around.
    4 separate family lifes to work around.

    Adding that to the weed and the bevvy at rehearsal and i'd say that the band will struggle to break free from the practice room. That's OK though - nowt wrong with writing and rehearsing for fun. Just as long as everyone's expectations are set at a similar level.

    Personally, I don't like drinking at rehearsals, nor weed, because no matter what the imbibee thinks it does have an effect on their performance ability during the rehearsal. IME often times the 'point' of the rehearsal becomes the weed and the beer and the craic rather than the music.
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  • CabicularCabicular Frets: 2015
    I've played in wedding bands and a lot of the guys on that circuit are having a wee smoke in the break
    They don't realise it makes them play worse and affects their judgement
    My argument is why should I have to carry them if we are both getting paid the said but they are doing it with diminished capacity
    Usually the argument is "it doesn't affect my playing" but they are kidding themselves. It absolutely does
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  • professorbenprofessorben Frets: 4101
    John_P said:
    I'd say the 5 rehearsals in 4 months is probably a reason to leave.   I can't see how a song writing band can work like that. 
    I'd be inclined to agree with this. Is the reason for the lack of get-togethers a (very) slow ramp-up, or is it "I'm too busy, maaaan"? ;)
    The issue is 2/4 guys work alternating shifts. 
    Am
    Pm
    Nights


    Im on call once a month but mainly work 6-6 week days. 

    We rehearse sunday eves which are traditionally quiet on the call out front.   
    " Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
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  • RocknRollDaveRocknRollDave Frets: 4196
    Cabicular said:
    I've played in wedding bands and a lot of the guys on that circuit are having a wee smoke in the break

    WTF?! Not in my band they wouldn't!

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  • digitalscreamdigitalscream Frets: 10406
    @professorben - yeah, I saw that earlier. I personally wouldn't regard that as enough time to make the kind of progress I like to see, but each to their own. For my part, it'd drive me up the wall; if we only had roughly one practice a month and I had to put up with the smell of weed then I'd be out so fast there'd be a me-shaped hole in the wall.

    I can appreciate that most folk don't find the smell as offensive to their nostrils as I do, mind ;)
    "Mains is ouchy if you get it up you" - Sporky
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  • Danny1969Danny1969 Frets: 2955
    It's not the substance that tends to be the problem, whever that be gear or alcohol but it's the takers awareness and ability to function on it. I work with a lot of big drinkers on the circuit and it's not really a problem, they can still play fine. Same with the big dope heads, they smoke so much they function fine on it.  
    I tend to find the biggest problems performance wise are with people who don't normally drink or smoke deciding to have a drink or smoke and they simply aren't used to it and then their playing goes to pot 
    www.2020studios.co.uk 
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  • octatonicoctatonic Frets: 16243
    Danny1969 said:
    It's not the substance that tends to be the problem, whever that be gear or alcohol but it's the takers awareness and ability to function on it. I work with a lot of big drinkers on the circuit and it's not really a problem, they can still play fine. Same with the big dope heads, they smoke so much they function fine on it.  
    I tend to find the biggest problems performance wise are with people who don't normally drink or smoke deciding to have a drink or smoke and they simply aren't used to it and then their playing goes to pot 
    Agree 100%.

    I am the juice of four limes.
    Trading Feedback
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  • RocknRollDaveRocknRollDave Frets: 4196
    gusman2x said:

    Doubt you're at any real risk because they smoke. If you have a real hard principaled objection to weed (and it's totally fine if you do), or the social aspect is getting you down, then fair enough. Otherwise, I'd just get on with it. If you like the music, their company, then weed aint the worst of it.

    If them being pot heads starts to manifest in other ways (not responding to texts, missing practices, being moaney), then they'll be just like every other bandmate ever lol.

    Well, it cost me two teeth and a load of stitches last time I was mates with weed smokers. 
    If you'd been beaten up by a drunk, would you refuse to work with people who drink alcohol?
    I'd refuse to work with someone who buys alcohol illegally after getting beaten up by a black-market booze seller they tried to buy it from, if that's what you mean then yes. 
    Not really what I am saying - After all there is no legal market for recreational drug use in this country and no need for black market booze, so it is not a helpful comparison, IMO.
    My points were:
    (a) None of your band members are the person who attacked you.
    (b) Weed is not known to be a generally "violent" drug.
    and ergo (c) For all the other concerns about the drug use (reliabilty, productiveness, quality of their performances etc), it is unlikely to the point of negligibility that your band mates will attack you as a result of their drug use.

    That doesn't mean to say you should be OK with it, or that you shouldn't say anything or do anything about it, I just don't think it is fair to project your previous horrific experience onto your bandmates.

    Sounds cold when typed in black and white, but it isn't meant to be. I totally get why the idea of weed smoking would be a concern

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  • professorbenprofessorben Frets: 4101
    gusman2x said:

    Doubt you're at any real risk because they smoke. If you have a real hard principaled objection to weed (and it's totally fine if you do), or the social aspect is getting you down, then fair enough. Otherwise, I'd just get on with it. If you like the music, their company, then weed aint the worst of it.

    If them being pot heads starts to manifest in other ways (not responding to texts, missing practices, being moaney), then they'll be just like every other bandmate ever lol.

    Well, it cost me two teeth and a load of stitches last time I was mates with weed smokers. 
    If you'd been beaten up by a drunk, would you refuse to work with people who drink alcohol?
    I'd refuse to work with someone who buys alcohol illegally after getting beaten up by a black-market booze seller they tried to buy it from, if that's what you mean then yes. 
    Not really what I am saying - After all there is no legal market for recreational drug use in this country and no need for black market booze, so it is not a helpful comparison, IMO.
    My points were:
    (a) None of your band members are the person who attacked you.
    (b) Weed is not known to be a generally "violent" drug.
    and ergo (c) For all the other concerns about the drug use (reliabilty, productiveness, quality of their performances etc), it is unlikely to the point of negligibility that your band mates will attack you as a result of their drug use.

    That doesn't mean to say you should be OK with it, or that you shouldn't say anything or do anything about it, I just don't think it is fair to project your previous horrific experience onto your bandmates.

    Sounds cold when typed in black and white, but it isn't meant to be. I totally get why the idea of weed smoking would be a concern
    Yeah I get what you are saying, I felt youvare not understanding MY point. 

    My issue ultimately is not the substance, it could be oxo cubes for all I care, perhaps an illicit Bovril ring...

    the point im making is not the affect it has on the individual, but the types of people you have to deal with to obtain the stuff, i.e. Criminals. 

    People who who have no compunction beating the shit out of one of your mates over £20, then intimidating your family so you don't show up to court, leaving your mate to sit in the court while the criminals walk past him out the front door laughing. 

    Yeah that's what happened as direct result of weed. 
    " Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
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  • DesVegasDesVegas Frets: 3341
    I would definitely walk if i were you, you're not going to get over what happened in the past and they're not going to give up having a good time because of you
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  • CabicularCabicular Frets: 2015
    Danny1969 said:
    It's not the substance that tends to be the problem, whever that be gear or alcohol but it's the takers awareness and ability to function on it. I work with a lot of big drinkers on the circuit and it's not really a problem, they can still play fine. Same with the big dope heads, they smoke so much they function fine on it.  
    I tend to find the biggest problems performance wise are with people who don't normally drink or smoke deciding to have a drink or smoke and they simply aren't used to it and then their playing goes to pot 
    My problem is option C... they "think" they are fine. In fact they are convinced of it
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  • TeyeplayerTeyeplayer Frets: 379
    edited March 16
    @professorbenthink due to the trauma of the experience you describe you are confusing the dealer and the user simply by association. I've had a very similiar experience to yours at a similar age, so I understand why you feel as you do -the long term impact of such an experience can be horrendous.

    However, it is clear from your responses that you now associate all cannabis use with one negative event. As such when anyone here suggests that maybe it's not a big deal you have clearly become defensive in your tone. Now that would be the same as never drinking a glass of wine due to a particular life changing event (drink-drive accident, alcoholic parent, etc). Not unheard of is it, you have probably met folk with this outlook? We wouldn't dream of questioning that persons choice (which is why you are mildly annoyed by what has been said), but equally if asked an opinion we might respectfully suggest that alcohol doesn't make every drinker a drink driver or alcoholic. The similarity is obvious and clearly thuggish wannabe gangster dealers (the sort who we have both encountered in some form) are not the same as an everyday smoker.

    The reality is that cannabis use is not that dissimilar from drinking (hops and hemp being of same genus I believe) and the loop holes and legalities that have ended in one being socially acceptable and one legally prohibited are somewhat ridiculous and hypocritical. The law is an ass.

    So, what to do about your situation? A) leave because you are not comfortable with their choices -this is fine, perhaps ask yourself first, do you enjoy playing with them and do you enjoy their company?
    B ) suggest clear headed practices, one of my old bands instilled a drink free rehearsal rule as we didn't get anything done otherwise -you may find this helps.
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  • modellistamodellista Frets: 350
    @RocknRollDave 's reply was excellent, along exactly the same lines as I was thinking.  @professorben , your unfortunate experience was a direct result of coming into contact with professional criminals.  The weed itself didn't beat you up.  I'm sure we can all think of idiots we've known who were into drugs and/or alcohol, but if I come across someone new who happens to indulge, I don't automatically tar them with the same brush.  You may or may not be able to get over what happened to you and its association with cannabis, but it doesn't mean that your new band mates are a risk to you because they smoke.  Unless they happen to be professional criminals themselves which it sounds like they're not.  I my part of the world and many others personal cannabis possession and use is effectively decriminalised.  If there was no criminality involved, would you change your mind about their smoking?

    Regardless of that point, as many have said, the use of any recreational drug is going to affect their playing.  Cannabis is going to make it more difficult for them to think logically, may cause difficulty in keeping time, they may struggle with technology, they may retreat into their own heads rather than be fully engaged.  On the plus side, plenty of bands have made great music whilst under the influence, because it opens up parts of the mind that our sober, logical minds keep locked away.  Not so great for trying to play "Come On Eileen" at some provincial wedding, maybe very useful if you want to emulate The Grateful Dead, and go for drawn-out, thirty-minute, space jams.  Which kind of band is yours?
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  • GassageGassage Frets: 18582
    Checked with Keith Richards.

    He couldn't see the issue....

    Donald Trump has spoken movingly about 7-Eleven. It reminded him, he said, of the way Americans came together in 1941 after Pearl Necklace.

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  • TeetonetalTeetonetal Frets: 4637
    I would walk. But more because of the lack of rehearsals. The weed smoking would annoy me after a while though. I wouldn't want to go home to my kids stinking of weed on a regular basis and staying inside is bound to lead to a 3 vs 1 clique on any major decision. 
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