Band Advice drugs.......

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professorbenprofessorben Frets: 5105
ok so I'm in a band, it's going pretty well, about 4 months in and with one thing and another only 5 rehearsals with full line up, and we have a few original songs coming together, it's a slow process cos we are writing as we go. 

Trouble is, we all drive to pracco and the rest of the guys split a 4 pack, I don't drink a drop when I drive so I abstain. 

But now the other 3 have started smoking weed during the 'fag' break. 

I used to go and hang out with them before, chatting and generally chill, but now they are smoking weed I stayed in the room and just fiddled with my rig (phnar phnar) 


FYI
I got beaten up in my mid 20's by a gang of guys after one of my mates tried to by weed off one of them, they jumped us one night playing footie and I got knocked out and one guy kicked me in the face while I was out on the floor

Hospital, Stitches etc....

im pretty anti drugs now. 


Do I walk away??
I like the guys tho and I'm really enjoying the music, it's my only social interaction, and I feel like too much time has passed ( even tho not many rehearsals) for me to turn around and say " nah not for me"

thoughts??



" Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
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Comments

  • StrangefanStrangefan Frets: 5845
    To be honest, if that's what they want to do then let them, if they were smoking heroin or crack that would be a different matter zbut weed, I can't see an issue with. 
    To let someone's personal choice which should not effect you, being a deciding factor to continue the  band, sounds like something you may regret on the long run.
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  • professorbenprofessorben Frets: 5105
    To be honest, if that's what they want to do then let them, if they were smoking heroin or crack that would be a different matter zbut weed, I can't see an issue with. 
    To let someone's personal choice which should not effect you, being a deciding factor to continue the  band, sounds like something you may regret on the long run.
    I kinda see your point, but someone else's personal choice ended up putting me in hospital simply by association. 

    I don't smoke, but I used to smoke weed at the age of 18/19 but never since, is it not a bit sad in your 30's/40's??

    if I leave I'll miss it very much, but I'm not sure I really have much choice. 
    " Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
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  • digitalscreamdigitalscream Frets: 26451
    edited March 2017
    To be honest, if that's what they want to do then let them, if they were smoking heroin or crack that would be a different matter zbut weed, I can't see an issue with. 
    To let someone's personal choice which should not effect you, being a deciding factor to continue the  band, sounds like something you may regret on the long run.
    That's all well and good, but when it comes to gigging venues tend to frown on bands who stink of weed.

    I personally tend to have a rule - no weed while on band business. If they're so hooked that they can't possibly abstain for a couple of hours a week, then it's inevitably going to cause problems further down the line anyway (eg when it starts to cost the whole band money at studio time when they can't get their shit together).

    Also, the smell makes me nauseous.
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  • gusman2xgusman2x Frets: 919

    Doubt you're at any real risk because they smoke. If you have a real hard principaled objection to weed (and it's totally fine if you do), or the social aspect is getting you down, then fair enough. Otherwise, I'd just get on with it. If you like the music, their company, then weed aint the worst of it.

    If them being pot heads starts to manifest in other ways (not responding to texts, missing practices, being moaney), then they'll be just like every other bandmate ever lol.

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  • professorbenprofessorben Frets: 5105
    gusman2x said:

    Doubt you're at any real risk because they smoke. If you have a real hard principaled objection to weed (and it's totally fine if you do), or the social aspect is getting you down, then fair enough. Otherwise, I'd just get on with it. If you like the music, their company, then weed aint the worst of it.

    If them being pot heads starts to manifest in other ways (not responding to texts, missing practices, being moaney), then they'll be just like every other bandmate ever lol.

    Well, it cost me two teeth and a load of stitches last time I was mates with weed smokers. 
    " Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
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  • PolarityManPolarityMan Frets: 7273
    I think the bigger problem is that you've only just beaten one practice a month and it sounds like some of the practice time is spent drinking and smoking so you're losing what little time you do have. Without knowing what percentage of a practice you actually spend plying maybe what you need to evaluate is if it has an impact on the progress you are making or not.
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  • digitalscreamdigitalscream Frets: 26451
    gusman2x said:

    Doubt you're at any real risk because they smoke. If you have a real hard principaled objection to weed (and it's totally fine if you do), or the social aspect is getting you down, then fair enough. Otherwise, I'd just get on with it. If you like the music, their company, then weed aint the worst of it.

    If them being pot heads starts to manifest in other ways (not responding to texts, missing practices, being moaney), then they'll be just like every other bandmate ever lol.

    Well, it cost me two teeth and a load of stitches last time I was mates with weed smokers. 
    In fairness to the other side...that's not exactly a regular occurrence and probably more to do with those specific people than weed-smokers in general.
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  • John_PJohn_P Frets: 2744
    I'd say the 5 rehearsals in 4 months is probably a reason to leave.   I can't see how a song writing band can work like that. 

    I'd agree they drink and drugs is up to them but not during band time.    If it's just a laugh and laid back then fine.  If you want to get anything done then no. 
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  • gusman2x said:

    Doubt you're at any real risk because they smoke. If you have a real hard principaled objection to weed (and it's totally fine if you do), or the social aspect is getting you down, then fair enough. Otherwise, I'd just get on with it. If you like the music, their company, then weed aint the worst of it.

    If them being pot heads starts to manifest in other ways (not responding to texts, missing practices, being moaney), then they'll be just like every other bandmate ever lol.

    Well, it cost me two teeth and a load of stitches last time I was mates with weed smokers. 
    If you'd been beaten up by a drunk, would you refuse to work with people who drink alcohol?

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  • BridgehouseBridgehouse Frets: 24578
    If it bothers you now, it will probably continue to bother you. 

    I was in a band with a guy who insisted on getting blind drunk after every gig. He became a liability. Band went down the tubes pretty much because of it.

    Have you talked to them about it?
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  • digitalscreamdigitalscream Frets: 26451
    John_P said:
    I'd say the 5 rehearsals in 4 months is probably a reason to leave.   I can't see how a song writing band can work like that. 
    I'd be inclined to agree with this. Is the reason for the lack of get-togethers a (very) slow ramp-up, or is it "I'm too busy, maaaan"? ;)
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  • professorbenprofessorben Frets: 5105
    I think the bigger problem is that you've only just beaten one practice a month and it sounds like some of the practice time is spent drinking and smoking so you're losing what little time you do have. Without knowing what percentage of a practice you actually spend plying maybe what you need to evaluate is if it has an impact on the progress you are making or not.
    Tbf we get a shit load done each rehearsal and everyone is focussed, it's hard because we only found the new drummer in Jan and two of the guys work continental shift patterns, at different firms, so it doesn't always match up. 

    They are all employed family guys so it's not like I'm having to turf them out of bed at 2pm or confiscate the Xbox.

    I guess maybe thats another issue in it's self. 
    " Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
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  • I'd walk. It's all of them against you so you can chat to them about it but you're outnumbered so would lose a vote on it.

     They can do what they want in their spare time but if you're not happy with them drinking and smoking weed at rehearsals then maybe you don't fit in. Long term how personalities mix is a big thing, if it's going to bug you now it'll still bug you in another 6 months 


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  • professorbenprofessorben Frets: 5105
    gusman2x said:

    Doubt you're at any real risk because they smoke. If you have a real hard principaled objection to weed (and it's totally fine if you do), or the social aspect is getting you down, then fair enough. Otherwise, I'd just get on with it. If you like the music, their company, then weed aint the worst of it.

    If them being pot heads starts to manifest in other ways (not responding to texts, missing practices, being moaney), then they'll be just like every other bandmate ever lol.

    Well, it cost me two teeth and a load of stitches last time I was mates with weed smokers. 
    If you'd been beaten up by a drunk, would you refuse to work with people who drink alcohol?
    I'd refuse to work with someone who buys alcohol illegally after getting beaten up by a black-market booze seller they tried to buy it from, if that's what you mean then yes. 
    " Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
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  • StrangefanStrangefan Frets: 5845
    See for me, as the good professor said they work hard at practice, and to be fair smoking a bit of weed doesn't define you, if the music's good and its not getting in the way then  it should be fine, 
    In regards to your issue with it, you went throigj something bloody awful, but it's a hugely rare occurrence, when I smoked I chose my dealer wisely, if they dealt anything else I would have nothing to do with them, but if it's just weed then you usually find they're sound,... This is just from experience by the way, 
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  • Moe_ZambeekMoe_Zambeek Frets: 3419
    5 practices in 4 months.
    2 separate shift work patterns to work around.
    4 separate family lifes to work around.

    Adding that to the weed and the bevvy at rehearsal and i'd say that the band will struggle to break free from the practice room. That's OK though - nowt wrong with writing and rehearsing for fun. Just as long as everyone's expectations are set at a similar level.

    Personally, I don't like drinking at rehearsals, nor weed, because no matter what the imbibee thinks it does have an effect on their performance ability during the rehearsal. IME often times the 'point' of the rehearsal becomes the weed and the beer and the craic rather than the music.
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  • CabicularCabicular Frets: 2214
    I've played in wedding bands and a lot of the guys on that circuit are having a wee smoke in the break
    They don't realise it makes them play worse and affects their judgement
    My argument is why should I have to carry them if we are both getting paid the said but they are doing it with diminished capacity
    Usually the argument is "it doesn't affect my playing" but they are kidding themselves. It absolutely does
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  • professorbenprofessorben Frets: 5105
    John_P said:
    I'd say the 5 rehearsals in 4 months is probably a reason to leave.   I can't see how a song writing band can work like that. 
    I'd be inclined to agree with this. Is the reason for the lack of get-togethers a (very) slow ramp-up, or is it "I'm too busy, maaaan"? ;)
    The issue is 2/4 guys work alternating shifts. 
    Am
    Pm
    Nights


    Im on call once a month but mainly work 6-6 week days. 

    We rehearse sunday eves which are traditionally quiet on the call out front.   
    " Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
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  • Cabicular said:
    I've played in wedding bands and a lot of the guys on that circuit are having a wee smoke in the break

    WTF?! Not in my band they wouldn't!

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  • digitalscreamdigitalscream Frets: 26451
    @professorben - yeah, I saw that earlier. I personally wouldn't regard that as enough time to make the kind of progress I like to see, but each to their own. For my part, it'd drive me up the wall; if we only had roughly one practice a month and I had to put up with the smell of weed then I'd be out so fast there'd be a me-shaped hole in the wall.

    I can appreciate that most folk don't find the smell as offensive to their nostrils as I do, mind ;)
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