Band Advice drugs.......

professorben

Bridgehouse said:

professorben said:

Yeah true.......

just been on JoinMyBand, so many opportunities, as long as I'm either:
1) A Drummer
2) Willing to play in a 60's covers band
3) Don't mind driving 3 hours to rehearsal and back. 
 

In our neck of the woods it's Leicester, Nottingham, Lincoln or do without and play in your bedroom...

Where are you?

most things seem to be Cambridge. 

Bridgehouse

professorben said:

Bridgehouse said:

professorben said:

Yeah true.......

just been on JoinMyBand, so many opportunities, as long as I'm either:
1) A Drummer
2) Willing to play in a 60's covers band
3) Don't mind driving 3 hours to rehearsal and back. 
 

In our neck of the woods it's Leicester, Nottingham, Lincoln or do without and play in your bedroom...

Where are you?

most things seem to be Cambridge. 

Just by Spalding. I forgot Cambridge - yeah there's opportunity down there too. It's even farther for me down that way though. Nottingham is prolly the easiest.

Thing is with joinmyband and the like, you don't know how much of a loony you are talking to.. and I suspect you have to kiss a lot of frogs..

digitalscream

professorben said:

Yeah true.......

just been on JoinMyBand, so many opportunities, as long as I'm either:
1) A Drummer
2) Willing to play in a 60's covers band
3) Don't mind driving 3 hours to rehearsal and back. 
 

You forgot...

4 - Wanting to be in a band with four 16yr olds, each of whom has "years of gigging experience" 

Teyeplayer

professorben said:

Teyeplayer said:

@professorben I think due to the trauma of the experience you describe you are confusing the dealer and the user simply by association. I've had a very similiar experience to yours at a similar age, so I understand why you feel as you do -the long term impact of such an experience can be horrendous.

However, it is clear from your responses that you now associate all cannabis use with one negative event. As such when anyone here suggests that maybe it's not a big deal you have clearly become defensive in your tone. Now that would be the same as never drinking a glass of wine due to a particular life changing event (drink-drive accident, alcoholic parent, etc). Not unheard of is it, you have probably met folk with this outlook? We wouldn't dream of questioning that persons choice (which is why you are mildly annoyed by what has been said), but equally if asked an opinion we might respectfully suggest that alcohol doesn't make every drinker a drink driver or alcoholic. The similarity is obvious and clearly thuggish wannabe gangster dealers (the sort who we have both encountered in some form) are not the same as an everyday smoker.

The reality is that cannabis use is not that dissimilar from drinking (hops and hemp being of same genus I believe) and the loop holes and legalities that have ended in one being socially acceptable and one legally prohibited are somewhat ridiculous and hypocritical. The law is an ass.

So, what to do about your situation? A) leave because you are not comfortable with their choices -this is fine, perhaps ask yourself first, do you enjoy playing with them and do you enjoy their company?
B ) suggest clear headed practices, one of my old bands instilled a drink free rehearsal rule as we didn't get anything done otherwise -you may find this helps.

I'm not confusing dealer and user. 
There is not one without the other. 

Weed and and beer may be related genetically but so are humans and dolphins if you go far enough, I've no wish to settle down and start a family with Flipper. 

Your later points are valid tho, I do enjoy their company, and I can't see any impairment if focus or ability, or if there is they must be pretty shit hot when stone cold sober. 

I'm just a bit upset cos I really wanted a band I could be mates with and make great music.

That made me chuckle. Clearly from the flippant (pun very much intended) linking of flipper and humans you need to re-read the opening part of my explanation @professorben. I mean no offence but it is exactly that mildly confrontational tone you adopt when presented with a counter-viewpoint that I was referring to. However, in that you have your answer for moving forward. Weed, rightly or wrongly, regardless of what anyone else thinks or suggests, is a deal-breaker for you. That is your bottom line and we all have them to one extent or another. You asked the forum in the hope that we'd tell you what you have already in your heart of hearts decided (unfortunately some of us disagreed, but in this case that is by the by). You need to find yourself a new band my friend.

guitarfishbay

Also consider bass if being in a band matters more to you than playing guitar in a band.

There tend to be less actually decent bassists than there are guitarists so you should have a better shot at getting into a better band

Bridgehouse

guitarfishbay said:

Also consider bass if being in a band matters more to you than playing guitar in a band.

There tend to be less actually decent bassists than there are guitarists so you should have a better shot at getting into a better band

This is true. The challenge is playing bass like a bass player, and not playing bass like a guitarist playing a bass

Gassage

 I'm not sure I want to be in a band with guys that smoke weed full stop, either in practice, at home or strapped over a whicker chair being flogged with a bag of wine gums. 

I am utterly astonished at this. I rarely come into contact with anyone with this level of prejudice against weed....considering how utterly harmless it is I just don't get it.

digitalscream

Gassage said:

 I'm not sure I want to be in a band with guys that smoke weed full stop, either in practice, at home or strapped over a whicker chair being flogged with a bag of wine gums. 

I am utterly astonished at this. I rarely come into contact with anyone with this level of prejudice against weed....considering how utterly harmless it is I just don't get it.

At the risk of making this discussion even worse...I'd hardly call it "utterly harmless". I know a couple of musicians who can't drive unmedicated any more because of weed-induced panic attacks. Sure, proponents will say it's not possible, but then...they're potheads and not medical professionals who actually understand this stuff

Aside from that, turning up smelling of weed loses bands gigs; totally unprofessional. Not all gigs, of course, but even being told to sod off from one gig when you're already there is a bit shit.

Besides...I'm not convinced I'd want to be in a band with the kind of person who's perfectly comfortable driving to rehearsal, getting stoned and then driving home in the same state.

Gassage

digitalscream said:

Gassage said:

 I'm not sure I want to be in a band with guys that smoke weed full stop, either in practice, at home or strapped over a whicker chair being flogged with a bag of wine gums. 

I am utterly astonished at this. I rarely come into contact with anyone with this level of prejudice against weed....considering how utterly harmless it is I just don't get it.

At the risk of making this discussion even worse...I'd hardly call it "utterly harmless". I know a couple of musicians who can't drive unmedicated any more because of weed-induced panic attacks. Sure, proponents will say it's not possible, but then...they're potheads and not medical professionals who actually understand this stuff

Aside from that, turning up smelling of weed loses bands gigs; totally unprofessional. Not all gigs, of course, but even being told to sod off from one gig when you're already there is a bit shit.

Besides...I'm not convinced I'd want to be in a band with the kind of person who's perfectly comfortable driving to rehearsal, getting stoned and then driving home in the same state.

Not the point I am making.

It was the bit about people at home which is ridiculously judgmental.

I agree with most of your points above as it happens.

hotpickups

I can't play when I'm pissed so I don't know how they can play whilst stoned. Unless they're Keith Richard but he can't really play most of the time

Gassage

I can't play when stoned either- I lose all sense of pitch.

And I don't drink.

EricTheWeary

At the rehearsal rooms we go to there are often people smoking cannabis outside. Given how much the place then stinks, how easy it would for them to be nicked,etc, it suprises me but then going to a rehearsal room is some people's chance to be all rocknroll. Whereas we turn up in work clothes, drink tea and talk about our kids.  
If I was the OP I suspect their behaviour would start to annoy me and would be the beginning of the end. Things like shift work aren't very compatible with being in a band. I wonder if Ben and his band mates share the same expectations.
Certainly seems like a time for a review before carrying on. And as said it wouldn't be welcome behaviour in many venues.

RocknRollDave

OK, so having misunderstood earlier, am I right to think the issue is that you are against drugs because by definition they involve an (illegal) dealer and you do not wish to support or encourage criminality, especially as you have seen the worst side of it first hand?

Roland

Call me awkward, but I have difficulty with things that impede a musical performance. Whether it's not preparing, wasting rehearsal time, or screwing up performance by being drunk. I know that music has a relationship with mind altering drugs that probably predates Homo sapiens. They have their place. In this instance I suspect that weed is already detracting from rehearsals, and will eventually impede performance. If you agree then you're into a "I'm not comfortable with this" conversation. Which I expect will lead into a parting of company because this sounds to me as though its veering towards a jam session that isn't going anywhere.

professorben

RocknRollDave said:

OK, so having misunderstood earlier, am I right to think the issue is that you are against drugs because by definition they involve an (illegal) dealer and you do not wish to support or encourage criminality, especially as you have seen the worst side of it first hand?

Yeah, that's it exactly, and by association being criminal myself. 

I know I get a tad defensive, I'm not great at seeing other people's point, but in my defence it is usually because they are wrong 

professorben

Gassage said:

 I'm not sure I want to be in a band with guys that smoke weed full stop, either in practice, at home or strapped over a whicker chair being flogged with a bag of wine gums. 

I am utterly astonished at this. I rarely come into contact with anyone with this level of prejudice against weed....considering how utterly harmless it is I just don't get it.

I have next to no issue with the plant itself, I'm even pretty ambivalent about the THC, the problem I have is with criminal element inherent in obtaining weed. 

And lets be honest, I've not met many people who smoke weed, who haven't tried Charlie or Speed or E or........ etc 

Gassage

professorben said:

Gassage said:

 I'm not sure I want to be in a band with guys that smoke weed full stop, either in practice, at home or strapped over a whicker chair being flogged with a bag of wine gums. 

I am utterly astonished at this. I rarely come into contact with anyone with this level of prejudice against weed....considering how utterly harmless it is I just don't get it.

I have next to no issue with the plant itself, I'm even pretty ambivalent about the THC, the problem I have is with criminal element inherent in obtaining weed. 

And lets be honest, I've not met many people who smoke weed, who haven't tried Charlie or Speed or E or........ etc 

Surely 75% of people have tried these?

professorben

Teyeplayer said:

professorben said:

Teyeplayer said:

@professorben I think due to the trauma of the experience you describe you are confusing the dealer and the user simply by association. I've had a very similiar experience to yours at a similar age, so I understand why you feel as you do -the long term impact of such an experience can be horrendous.

However, it is clear from your responses that you now associate all cannabis use with one negative event. As such when anyone here suggests that maybe it's not a big deal you have clearly become defensive in your tone. Now that would be the same as never drinking a glass of wine due to a particular life changing event (drink-drive accident, alcoholic parent, etc). Not unheard of is it, you have probably met folk with this outlook? We wouldn't dream of questioning that persons choice (which is why you are mildly annoyed by what has been said), but equally if asked an opinion we might respectfully suggest that alcohol doesn't make every drinker a drink driver or alcoholic. The similarity is obvious and clearly thuggish wannabe gangster dealers (the sort who we have both encountered in some form) are not the same as an everyday smoker.

The reality is that cannabis use is not that dissimilar from drinking (hops and hemp being of same genus I believe) and the loop holes and legalities that have ended in one being socially acceptable and one legally prohibited are somewhat ridiculous and hypocritical. The law is an ass.

So, what to do about your situation? A) leave because you are not comfortable with their choices -this is fine, perhaps ask yourself first, do you enjoy playing with them and do you enjoy their company?
B ) suggest clear headed practices, one of my old bands instilled a drink free rehearsal rule as we didn't get anything done otherwise -you may find this helps.

I'm not confusing dealer and user. 
There is not one without the other. 

Weed and and beer may be related genetically but so are humans and dolphins if you go far enough, I've no wish to settle down and start a family with Flipper. 

Your later points are valid tho, I do enjoy their company, and I can't see any impairment if focus or ability, or if there is they must be pretty shit hot when stone cold sober. 

I'm just a bit upset cos I really wanted a band I could be mates with and make great music.

That made me chuckle. Clearly from the flippant (pun very much intended) linking of flipper and humans you need to re-read the opening part of my explanation @professorben. I mean no offence but it is exactly that mildly confrontational tone you adopt when presented with a counter-viewpoint that I was referring to. However, in that you have your answer for moving forward. Weed, rightly or wrongly, regardless of what anyone else thinks or suggests, is a deal-breaker for you. That is your bottom line and we all have them to one extent or another. You asked the forum in the hope that we'd tell you what you have already in your heart of hearts decided (unfortunately some of us disagreed, but in this case that is by the by). You need to find yourself a new band my friend.

Yep I think you are right, I guess by opening up to the forum I have realised how much of a deal it is to me. 

professorben

Gassage said:

professorben said:

Gassage said:

 I'm not sure I want to be in a band with guys that smoke weed full stop, either in practice, at home or strapped over a whicker chair being flogged with a bag of wine gums. 

I am utterly astonished at this. I rarely come into contact with anyone with this level of prejudice against weed....considering how utterly harmless it is I just don't get it.

I have next to no issue with the plant itself, I'm even pretty ambivalent about the THC, the problem I have is with criminal element inherent in obtaining weed. 

And lets be honest, I've not met many people who smoke weed, who haven't tried Charlie or Speed or E or........ etc 

Surely 75% of people have tried these?

Call me Mr 25% then. 

professorben

Gassage said:

professorben said:

Gassage said:

 I'm not sure I want to be in a band with guys that smoke weed full stop, either in practice, at home or strapped over a whicker chair being flogged with a bag of wine gums. 

I am utterly astonished at this. I rarely come into contact with anyone with this level of prejudice against weed....considering how utterly harmless it is I just don't get it.

I have next to no issue with the plant itself, I'm even pretty ambivalent about the THC, the problem I have is with criminal element inherent in obtaining weed. 

And lets be honest, I've not met many people who smoke weed, who haven't tried Charlie or Speed or E or........ etc 

Surely 75% of people have tried these?

I'm certainly no Angel, I once ordered a Malibu and Coke in a public bar.....
I was young and impressionable, I was experimenting colour a lot at that point.