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How do you cope with pre-gig nerves?

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  • DiscoStuDiscoStu Frets: 5373
    edited January 2017
    You know what? I hadn't thought of Imodium! That may at least help with one of the effects nerves has on me. 
    @digitalscream we didn't over rehearse by any means, my friend asked me a couple of weeks ago if I'd learn a couple of songs for a party we were going to, so I said yes and learned them:
    Time After Time (Iron & Wine), Make It Holy (The Staves), and Barton Hollow (The Civil Wars).
    We only ran through them a couple of times before the gig itself and it all felt in place but as soon as I'm up there I get panicky and forget bits.
    It happens each time, and the next time (when there is one) I think about the last time and that doesn't help and I'm in a loop of fear!

    I should probably play more at home and have my own set of songs rather than learn stuff at short notice like I tend to do.
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  • In that case, it does sound like you might've had the opposite problem. As Jaden once said to me, "Amateurs practice until they've got it right, professionals practice until they can't get it wrong". For the record, I'm definitely not in the "pro" camp, and I know that no show will be totally error-free ;)

    There's a really fine line between being under-rehearsed and over-rehearsed, but for my part I tend to get over the "Shitshitshit I'm going to screw it up" by having an alternate plan; for every solo/chorus/verse I have a backup plan to use when I'm not having a good night. That goes a long way towards alleviating the nerves, because I always know that if it starts to go wrong then I've got something easier to play.

    Admittedly, there's a lot more work in it, but there's nothing better for keeping the show going than familiarity with the material.

    With that said...it does sound a bit like you've rarely had a good show, which won't be helping you. The solution? Gig more, with stuff that you know inside-out and can't possibly go wrong with.

    And, of course, relax. It's not the end of the world if it goes wrong. Seriously, watch this from about 2:20 onwards...



    Even the guys who've been touring solidly for years get it wrong sometimes.
    <space for hire>
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  • bluechargeboybluechargeboy Frets: 1894
    edited January 2017
    Gig is next week? No point getting nervous until the day before.
    Gig is tomorrow? No point getting nervous until the day itself.
    Gig is tonight? No point getting nervous until the hour before.
    Gig is in an hour? No point getting nervous until the minute before.

    You would be surprised but this self-deception can work! Oh and regarding that last minute, just imagine you are wearing a cape. Seriously.


    EDIT: Great vid @digitalscream!! I like how he seems unfazed and gets the audience in on the act, still entertaining even as the song goes to shit.


    I'm just a Maserati in a world of Kias.
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  • DiscoStuDiscoStu Frets: 5373
    That Nuno vid is brilliant. The drummer keeps it going and they totally get away with it! 

    That's my problem though, if I screw up there's usually nobody else to cover me so I then worry about screwing up...
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  • The solution? Gig more, with stuff that you know inside-out and can't possibly go wrong with.
    .
    This......

    If you were ok in a band it must be (the entirely understandable) pressure of carrying the gig yourself.

    Didn't you mention an open mic spot? I'd do it regularly and crucially, with a couple of songs you know well. That'll increase your confidence and give you experience of dealing with the inevitable mistakes.

    The ideal scenario - and my favourite gigs - are when I get really in the moment, almost forget about playing and just let it happen.

    Failing that I'd get some diazepam. Bosh. Problem solved.  
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  • GrunfeldGrunfeld Frets: 4027
    edited January 2017
    Gig nerves usually come down to a couple of things:
    1)  Performance inadequacy
    2)  Performance anxiety
    You can have one, or the other, or both.  The solutions for each are different.
    If the basic problem is that you can’t play the stuff adequately and you’re worried that that you’re going to stuff up then the solution is practice.  At least this one both feels and is totally under your control.  

    Performance anxiety is different.  It’s not confined to musicians.  You can have it in the exam room, or public speaking, on the golf course, in the second violins, or down the Dog & Duck.  Performance anxiety is a problem of thinking.  Even a proportion of insomniacs can't sleep because they essentially have performance anxiety for sleep.
    It’s seldom a specific fear, it’s more a generalised feeling of dread, and nervousness, with the entire committee in your head going off and paralysing your focus and enjoyment and ability to get on with the task. 
    The solution is to overcome that habitual thinking and, (I would say this wouldn’t I), hypnotherapy works and CBT works.  And hypnosis combined with CBT works a treat and that’s what I tend to use with clients unless I’ve got a really good hypnotic subject in which case I’ll do it all with hypnosis. 

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  • DiscoStuDiscoStu Frets: 5373
    edited January 2017
    Well put @Grunfeld, I would say it's definitely performance anxiety with me. I lack self confidence anyway so gigs like these are a challenge as I don't want to make a fool of myself or let other people down.
    The crowd loved us and we had several people tell us we should do more together. Even got offered a gig! But for some fucked up reason I don't think their compliments are justified.
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  • If you screw up then just simply do Nuno's solo from "Play with Me" and the audience will soon forget the screw-up. :D

    Seriously though, you have to cultivate a stage persona that doesn't care about cock-ups, and just does a self-deprecating smile or says "oops", laughs and carries on. You have to fake it until it becomes real.

    Nuno does not get away with it because of the drummer, but because he shows grace and calm under pressure, even if inside he is going "shit shit shit".

    At open mic nights especially, everyone is rooting for you because they have all been there! They are a great way to gain this confidence and stage-craft because you will get clapped just for showing up. There are plenty of people who wish they could do what you have done.
    I'm just a Maserati in a world of Kias.
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  • CabicularCabicular Frets: 2214
    I've played well over 1000 gigs, every time I get stressed on the way to the venue and very stressed before I go on.
    Routine is your friend . I don't really relax until I've turned my guitar up and did a @whacka whacka@ noise.
    Then I know the equipment works and I'll be fine. It also helps to have a bit of a persona to hide behind. You don't have to strut about like a dick (but there is nothing wrong with that.. it works for loads of people) It can be just a bigger version of your own personality.
    Regardless, you have to commit to it 100%. People will believe it if you believe it... if you wobble they will notice.
    Also worth remembering, the audience are nervous too. They want to relax and know they are in good hands so if you act like you know what you are doing and engage with them, then it will all generally be fine.
    I don't think you'll ever really get rid of the nerves, in fact I'll probably chuck it if I ever do. If I ever get so complacent that I amn't nervous then I'm probably too jaded for it.
    Routine routine routine
    I have a thing where I always start with the same song (when I played the Chilli's Tribute it was By the Way, in the Current Band it is "shook you all night long" Helps the whole band settle down quickly and then any variations in the set are after that.
     
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  • Nuno does not get away with it because of the drummer, but because he shows grace and calm under pressure, even if inside he is going "shit shit shit".
    He also gets away with because the crowd are on his side. That's an important thing to remember: the crowd, regardless of how you feel, are generally completely on your side. They want you to do your job (ie entertain them), sure, but they're also their to help you do your job.

    Admittedly, 99% of the guitarists in the crowd will be standing there watching for every mistake and telling their mates how they could do it better, but guitarists are assholes. We all know this.
    <space for hire>
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  • DiscoStuDiscoStu Frets: 5373
    He also gets away with because the crowd are on his side. That's an important thing to remember: the crowd, regardless of how you feel, are generally completely on your side. They want you to do your job (ie entertain them), sure, but they're also their to help you do your job.

    Admittedly, 99% of the guitarists in the crowd will be standing there watching for every mistake and telling their mates how they could do it better, but guitarists are assholes. We all know this.
    I only really get to play at these annual get-togethers which are full of other, better, musicians. Some are pro, some are famous, some are close friends, and it all gets to me. It was the first time my g/f had seen me perform yet surprisingly that didn't play on my mind.

    There's no real scene round here so unless you are a gigging musician with 2 hours of material there's nowhere to play. I would probably give open mics a go if there were any.
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  • CabicularCabicular Frets: 2214
    Where are you based?
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  • Seriously though, you have to cultivate a stage persona that doesn't care about cock-ups, and just does a self-deprecating smile or says "oops", laughs and carries on. You have to fake it until it becomes real.



    This is what I have done - although in my defence, it has never been a persona, I genuinely have never given a toss whether I get it wrong or not. One acoustic duo I was in built a whole career on making a joke of all the cock-ups (and there are still loads as we do the odd reunion without rehearsing).
    Most people are on your side, I've done hundreds of solo gigs, and, while I have never suffered from nerves myself, I understand the pressure you may feel. it is all in your head.
    :)
    (why can't I type outside the quote box?)
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  • DiscoStuDiscoStu Frets: 5373
    Cabicular said:
    Where are you based?
    I'm in Elgin, NE Scotland.

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  • DiscoStuDiscoStu Frets: 5373
    Here's one we did, Make It Holy by The Staves.
    I screwed up the harmonies and missed a cue but in this case the main vocal hid it.



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  • There is no substitute for experience, but really the best experience to learn from is that when you make a mistake it doesn't matter. The ground doesn't open up and suck you down to Hell, you don't get thrown out of the venue, bottles of urine do not rain down on you. People probably didn't even notice, and if they did they don't care. Be aware of your mistakes, learn from them, but do not let them define your performance. A fluffed note is not a fluffed song.

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  • CabicularCabicular Frets: 2214
    DiscoStu said:
    Cabicular said:
    Where are you based?
    I'm in Elgin, NE Scotland.

    I know Elgin, my mates mum and dad live there in one of the big sandstones. Yeah... not much going on outside the wedding and ceilidh scene
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  • DiscoStuDiscoStu Frets: 5373
    All wise words @RocknRollDave and all stuff I know, yet I still get worked up before playing.
    The recurring theme being mentioned is about playing regularly and that's something I don't do. I used to play every day when I was younger and now it's barely monthly. Wee gigs like this one are annual, if that.

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  • DiscoStuDiscoStu Frets: 5373
    Cabicular said:
    DiscoStu said:
    Cabicular said:
    Where are you based?
    I'm in Elgin, NE Scotland.

    I know Elgin, my mates mum and dad live there in one of the big sandstones. Yeah... not much going on outside the wedding and ceilidh scene
    What what? There's a ceilidh scene?? ;)

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  • FuengiFuengi Frets: 2849
    Notes above about raising your level is the best advice. 

    Ive found that for nerves the 'Inner Game' technique works really well.

    It's all a bit Zen, but, essentially assumes a level of competence in what you at doing, and basically asks you to simply observe yourself doing the given act. If you make a mistake, try again and focus on your actions without trying to consciously change anything. 

    It removes you from a nervous performer to a critical observer. Or at least that's the idea. 
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