New bandmate dilemma...opinions sought

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  • AvalonAndyAvalonAndy Frets: 326
    edited February 2019
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  • richardhomerrichardhomer Frets: 24793
    I have no wife to worry about - so happy to volunteer.... :)
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  • John_PJohn_P Frets: 2744
    I'm probably being a bit harsh here but I'd let her worry about how to get to and from gigs.     Does anyone sort your transport?  Some people are very good at getting everyone around them doing the running around - if you applied to be in a band or any other job, I'm pretty sure you would think about getting there as well as sorting your equipment and learning the songs.  
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  • GrunfeldGrunfeld Frets: 4027
    If it were me I'd just ask her what she wants.  It's super simple.
    If I wanted some evidence that all is kosher; see above.
    If the singer needs a lift, and I can't see any problem with that, and she can split the cost of the petrol/diesel.
    Pretty much what the bass player and I do in the band we're in.

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  • p90foolp90fool Frets: 31367
    Roland said:
    I'd be more worried about how long she is going to remain with the band. Students can have busy social lives, long vacations, exam pressures, and then the course ends.
    That is  a consideration. We had a couple of decent singers in the  auditions so we're keeping their details for  dpe gigs.
    Very wise. At her age she's quite likely to move on, and anyway you'll need a Plan B in case she gets murdered on the way home.
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  • AvalonAndyAvalonAndy Frets: 326
    edited February 2019
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  • VoxmanVoxman Frets: 4718
    edited January 2017
    I have two daughters (19 & 27) and I wouldn't want either having to find their own way late at night so of course you should drive her home.  Just think how would you feel if God forbid anything happened to her.  You wife is spot on.
    I started out with nothing..... but I've still got most of it left (Seasick Steve)
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  • mike257mike257 Frets: 374
    This thread is bananas. Drop your bandmate home after the gig. It's totally normal. 
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  • mike257 said:
    This thread is bananas. Drop your bandmate home after the gig. It's totally normal. 
    Concur. 

    What will happen if there is no public transport option?

    I find this one of those strange wife reactions that I never understand.

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  • mike_lmike_l Frets: 5700
    Grunfeld said:
     

    Anyway, dash cams are great.  What was the question? :)
    Do you want a pint? was the original question........

    Ringleader of the Cambridge cartel, pedal champ and king of the dirt boxes (down to 21) 

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  • Voxman said:
    I have two daughters (19 & 27) and I wouldn't want either having to find their own way late at night so of course you should drive her home.  Just think how would you feel if God forbid anything happened to her.  You wife is spot on.
    I thought his wife was saying he *shouldn't* give her a lift?  For reasons unspecified.
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  • DanchiDanchi Frets: 25
    Get her to sit in the back.
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  • steersteer Frets: 1159
    Show her this thread, and all your problems will be solved - she will immediately quit the band.  Then you can get a grown up in to replace her. 

    No need to thank me for my awesome advice. :)


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  • VoxmanVoxman Frets: 4718
    edited February 2017
    Voxman said:
    I have two daughters (19 & 27) and I wouldn't want either having to find their own way late at night so of course you should drive her home.  Just think how would you feel if God forbid anything happened to her.  You wife is spot on.
    I thought his wife was saying he *shouldn't* give her a lift?  For reasons unspecified.
    I read the bit where his wife said he could give her a lift but missed the qualified bit where he said she'd rather he didn't..slightly confusing but doesn't change my view.  ;)
    I started out with nothing..... but I've still got most of it left (Seasick Steve)
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  • All sorted, anyway. We're out gigging tonight (now in fact!) and I picked her up and will be dropping her off.
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  • notanonnotanon Frets: 604
    Roland said:
    I'd be more worried about how long she is going to remain with the band. Students can have busy social lives, long vacations, exam pressures, and then the course endsRoland said

    How long full stop - Open discussion needed just to check expectations. Doesn't have to end badly i.e. 1 year can fill the gap for the band and also give her experience (CV) A win win.
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  • VoxmanVoxman Frets: 4718
    All sorted, anyway. We're out gigging tonight (now in fact!) and I picked her up and will be dropping her off.
    In the words of the immortal Bill & Ted "Excellent Dude!"  :)
    I started out with nothing..... but I've still got most of it left (Seasick Steve)
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  • rewolf48rewolf48 Frets: 7
    Uber is more convenient than random taxi and cheaper too in the bigger cities. The booking process is simpler, no cash changes hands and you can track them so you know when they are arriving and have their number plate in advance
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