ok so I'm in a band, it's going pretty well, about 4 months in and with one thing and another only 5 rehearsals with full line up, and we have a few original songs coming together, it's a slow process cos we are writing as we go.
Trouble is, we all drive to pracco and the rest of the guys split a 4 pack, I don't drink a drop when I drive so I abstain.
But now the other 3 have started smoking weed during the 'fag' break.
I used to go and hang out with them before, chatting and generally chill, but now they are smoking weed I stayed in the room and just fiddled with my rig (phnar phnar)
FYI
I got beaten up in my mid 20's by a gang of guys after one of my mates tried to by weed off one of them, they jumped us one night playing footie and I got knocked out and one guy kicked me in the face while I was out on the floor
Hospital, Stitches etc....
im pretty anti drugs now.
Do I walk away??
I like the guys tho and I'm really enjoying the music, it's my only social interaction, and I feel like too much time has passed ( even tho not many rehearsals) for me to turn around and say " nah not for me"
thoughts??
" Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
Comments
To let someone's personal choice which should not effect you, being a deciding factor to continue the band, sounds like something you may regret on the long run.
I don't smoke, but I used to smoke weed at the age of 18/19 but never since, is it not a bit sad in your 30's/40's??
if I leave I'll miss it very much, but I'm not sure I really have much choice.
I personally tend to have a rule - no weed while on band business. If they're so hooked that they can't possibly abstain for a couple of hours a week, then it's inevitably going to cause problems further down the line anyway (eg when it starts to cost the whole band money at studio time when they can't get their shit together).
Also, the smell makes me nauseous.
Doubt you're at any real risk because they smoke. If you have a real hard principaled objection to weed (and it's totally fine if you do), or the social aspect is getting you down, then fair enough. Otherwise, I'd just get on with it. If you like the music, their company, then weed aint the worst of it.
If them being pot heads starts to manifest in other ways (not responding to texts, missing practices, being moaney), then they'll be just like every other bandmate ever lol.
I'd agree they drink and drugs is up to them but not during band time. If it's just a laugh and laid back then fine. If you want to get anything done then no.
I was in a band with a guy who insisted on getting blind drunk after every gig. He became a liability. Band went down the tubes pretty much because of it.
Have you talked to them about it?
They are all employed family guys so it's not like I'm having to turf them out of bed at 2pm or confiscate the Xbox.
I guess maybe thats another issue in it's self.
They can do what they want in their spare time but if you're not happy with them drinking and smoking weed at rehearsals then maybe you don't fit in. Long term how personalities mix is a big thing, if it's going to bug you now it'll still bug you in another 6 months
In regards to your issue with it, you went throigj something bloody awful, but it's a hugely rare occurrence, when I smoked I chose my dealer wisely, if they dealt anything else I would have nothing to do with them, but if it's just weed then you usually find they're sound,... This is just from experience by the way,
2 separate shift work patterns to work around.
4 separate family lifes to work around.
Adding that to the weed and the bevvy at rehearsal and i'd say that the band will struggle to break free from the practice room. That's OK though - nowt wrong with writing and rehearsing for fun. Just as long as everyone's expectations are set at a similar level.
Personally, I don't like drinking at rehearsals, nor weed, because no matter what the imbibee thinks it does have an effect on their performance ability during the rehearsal. IME often times the 'point' of the rehearsal becomes the weed and the beer and the craic rather than the music.
They don't realise it makes them play worse and affects their judgement
My argument is why should I have to carry them if we are both getting paid the said but they are doing it with diminished capacity
Usually the argument is "it doesn't affect my playing" but they are kidding themselves. It absolutely does
Am
Pm
Nights
Im on call once a month but mainly work 6-6 week days.
We rehearse sunday eves which are traditionally quiet on the call out front.
I can appreciate that most folk don't find the smell as offensive to their nostrils as I do, mind