Being told to smile

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longshinslongshins Frets: 246
edited December 2017 in Live
Hi there, play in a pub/working men’s club band doing 60s-90s stuff. We dress up a bit and put on a show. I’m not miserable but I don’t beam like an idiot the whole gig either. How do I deal with geriatric assholes demanding I smile? This could be as I’m struggling to get past them with a bass bin at the end of the night or it could be during a tricky solo or whatever. I’m getting pissed off with it, I’m no more happy or sad than anyone else, I stick out as I’m 6’7 I guess... that’s another thing that people think it’s ok to have a dig about too... (your tall aren’t you? Weather ok up there Etc) 

So what’s the best response? I’m not going to smile because some git after having 5 pints of bitter demands it, nor am I going to shrink a foot because somebody has short man syndrome.

Merry Xmas btw! On a side note, might get a wireless system in the sales, any recommendations?
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Comments

  • bbill335bbill335 Frets: 1368
    Nobody told Keef to smile on tv in the 60s
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  • Just make it look like you're enjoying yourself. You may think you look like you are but to other people their perception will be different. I used to get criticised when I first started playing gigs cos I looked down too much and used to worry about my tone as well, always trying to tweak the settings and stuff. Some people nod their head, tap their foot, anything to make them engaged with the music. I haven't seen your band before but there's nothing worse than watching a band live and it looking like they're not enjoying themselves, cos then the crowd won't either.

    About 4 years ago I played an industry showcase thing which was in front of some panel. We did 2 songs and one of the responses where that the guitarists (me one of them) were not "animated enough". The very next day I bought a Line 6 G50 wireless and from then on had more freedom to run around stages and do something about that remark.
    So for the wireless system I would recommend the Line 6 Relay range, or Shure if you can afford it. It does pay to get a good one, the cheaper £99 ones don't tend to be very reliable.
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  • Tell them it's between your resting bitch face or your cum face when you solo. Their choice.
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  • Man up lofty. 
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  • RavenousRavenous Frets: 1484

    They want to look brave in front of their friends because you are tall, and they are feeble invalid cowards.

    You're the one on the stage, so ignore them.  They're probably completely unremarkable in every other aspect of their worthless lives too.

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  • Ravenous said:

    They want to look brave in front of their friends because you are tall, and they are feeble invalid cowards.

    You're the one on the stage, so ignore them.  They're probably completely unremarkable in every other aspect of their worthless lives too.

    Yup, agreed! Is there some kind of failsafe one liner I can retort with? I’m worried one day I’ll lose my temper.
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  • Man up lofty. 
    Weathers fine up here thanks!
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  • RavenousRavenous Frets: 1484
    longshins said:
    Is there some kind of failsafe one liner I can retort with? I’m worried one day I’ll lose my temper.
    "Oh I didn't see you down there" springs to mind. (I'm not even slightly tall, but if I were I'd use that one all the time.)
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  • I'm 6'6" so very familiar with the "Ooh you're tall aren't you?" line.

    I usually respond with either "Yeah. You're not" or "Ooh you're ugly... Oh I'm sorry, I thought were were just picking an easy observation" 

    My Trading Feedback    |    You Bring The Band

    Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you
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  • ICBMICBM Frets: 71956
    longshins said:

    So what’s the best response?
    "Pay us more and it might feel like I'm enjoying this."

    "Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone." - Walt Kowalski

    "Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand." - Homer Simpson

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  • Jimbro66Jimbro66 Frets: 2418
    Get yourself a The Joker mask?
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  • ESBlondeESBlonde Frets: 3576
    You don't have to grin like a cheshire cat, but try to remember to stare above thier heads into the darkness at the back and smile once in a while. It really takes little effort and the energy on stage really does drift into the audience. Us old farts that make it look easy had to learn the skill too, even just smiling between yourselves onstage when you slip in a dodgy lyric or pull off a bar of double time makes a huge impression on Joe Public. There is a reason orange, wig wearing, porcalain teethed goons are so common on TV stations, it's infectious to the audience. Now don't go that far, but at least recognise the phenomenon.

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  • RolandRoland Frets: 8590
    I'm 6'6" so very familiar with the "Ooh you're tall aren't you?" line.

    I usually respond with either "Yeah. You're not" or "Ooh you're ugly... Oh I'm sorry, I thought were were just picking an easy observation" 
    My brother in law is 6’2”. His girlfriend was 6’ 5” plus heels. Some irk in a bar asked “Do you mind me asking how tall your girlfriend is?” B-o-L looks down at him and says “Yes, I do!”
    Tree recycler, and guitarist with  https://www.undercoversband.com/.
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  • longshinslongshins Frets: 246
    edited December 2017
    Roland said:
    I'm 6'6" so very familiar with the "Ooh you're tall aren't you?" line.

    I usually respond with either "Yeah. You're not" or "Ooh you're ugly... Oh I'm sorry, I thought were were just picking an easy observation" 
    My brother in law is 6’2”. His girlfriend was 6’ 5” plus heels. Some irk in a bar asked “Do you mind me asking how tall your girlfriend is?” B-o-L looks down at him and says “Yes, I do!”
    It’s like asking someone how Chinese they are or how black they are. Seriously, just fuck off! Just for sake of equality said person could be of any creed or colour, gender, differently abled etc etc...
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  • VeganicVeganic Frets: 673
    longshins said:
    Roland said:
    It’s like asking someone how Chinese they are or how black they are. Seriously, just fuck off! Just for sake of equality said person could be of any creed or colour, gender, differently abled etc etc...
    I dunno if it is really, can you show me your working out? Ta.
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  • StrangefanStrangefan Frets: 5845
    edited December 2017
    Joking aside I know exactly how you feel,  I played bass in a band where the bass parts were all funk, and In the beginning gigs would  be me concentrating so hard I didn't put on a show, we wwre/are a mad strange band so we used stage outfits I suggested masks and I chose one word a huge grin which hid the fact I couldn't do anything other than guitar face, this is a live pic..
    https://i.imgur.com/TrKtOlp.jpg
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  • Our singer is 6'8" and we do a sweepstake on how long it'll be before someone mentions it. I often joke about setting up a mic stand for Chewbacca though :)
    "A city star won’t shine too far"


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  • longshinslongshins Frets: 246
    edited December 2017
    Veganic said:
    longshins said:
    Roland said:
    It’s like asking someone how Chinese they are or how black they are. Seriously, just fuck off! Just for sake of equality said person could be of any creed or colour, gender, differently abled etc etc...
    I dunno if it is really, can you show me your working out? Ta.
    I can’t help being tall, just like some people can’t help their ethnicity, gender etc to a certain extent. Maybe it’s not the same as other situations as I suppose it’s perceived as good to be tall in the same way it is good to be fit and not fat blah blah blah
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  • VeganicVeganic Frets: 673
    longshins said:
    Veganic said:
    longshins said:
    Roland said:
    It’s like asking someone how Chinese they are or how black they are. Seriously, just fuck off! Just for sake of equality said person could be of any creed or colour, gender, differently abled etc etc...
    I dunno if it is really, can you show me your working out? Ta.
    I can’t help being tall, just like some people can’t help their ethnicity, gender etc to a certain extent. Maybe it’s not the same as other situations as I suppose it’s perceived as good to be tall in the same way it is good to be fit and not fat blah blah blah
    All I can see is that joking about someone being tall is rude.  That in itself explains what is wrong with it to some of us. But that is not to say each case is the same.  There can be a joke between two people which can sometimes be a positive thing, there can be a case of someone using it to play to a audience with differing degrees of malice. 
     Bringing in comparisons to other cases makes things less clear especially as I find it difficult to see when anyone would ask those other questions.

    But I find it difficult to feel for the op (oh just noticed it is you) when people are described as being 'geriatric arseholes' and having 'short man syndrome.'  

    If you are expecting good manners from a drunken audience you are going to be disappointed 99% of the time but if it is only about not smiling then you are not doing too bad.  Be grateful and maybe smile about it, inwardly obviously.  

    Let me know if you think I am victim-blaming and I'll consider my opinion.

    Merry Xmas.

    *sorry for going on and on but you were good enough to reply so I felt it only polite.
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  • longshinslongshins Frets: 246
    edited December 2017
    Veganic said:
    longshins said:
    Veganic said:
    longshins said:
    Roland said:
    It’s like asking someone how Chinese they are or how black they are. Seriously, just fuck off! Just for sake of equality said person could be of any creed or colour, gender, differently abled etc etc...
    I dunno if it is really, can you show me your working out? Ta.
    I can’t help being tall, just like some people can’t help their ethnicity, gender etc to a certain extent. Maybe it’s not the same as other situations as I suppose it’s perceived as good to be tall in the same way it is good to be fit and not fat blah blah blah
    All I can see is that joking about someone being tall is rude.  That in itself explains what is wrong with it to some of us. But that is not to say each case is the same.  There can be a joke between two people which can sometimes be a positive thing, there can be a case of someone using it to play to a audience with differing degrees of malice. 
     Bringing in comparisons to other cases makes things less clear especially as I find it difficult to see when anyone would ask those other questions.

    But I find it difficult to feel for the op (oh just noticed it is you) when people are described as being 'geriatric arseholes' and having 'short man syndrome.'  

    If you are expecting good manners from a drunken audience you are going to be disappointed 99% of the time but if it is only about not smiling then you are not doing too bad.  Be grateful and maybe smile about it, inwardly obviously.  

    Let me know if you think I am victim-blaming and I'll consider my opinion.

    Merry Xmas.

    *sorry for going on and on but you were good enough to reply so I felt it only polite.
    Merry Xmas, I suppose my initial rant relates more to being a tall person than anything else and unless you are a tall person yourself then it’s a hard thing to empathise with, but it can turn you into a massively self conscious paranoid mess if you let it. Here’s a quick example from this week.

    My daughter had her first sing song carol thing nativity play at church. During the hymns we were asked to stand up from our chairs by the vicar, i was near the front and blocked the view of multiple parents behind me, they then made snarky remarks until I sat down feeling like a kicked puppy and spent a day or so hating life in general. 

    Reading that back sounds stupid and I know it’s nothing compared to what some people deal with but it conditions you after a while to feeling like you are always in the way. Going to standing concerts is a no no, being at the front of a photo is a no no, public transport not fun, any form of aggression towards a smaller individual is deemed unfair no matter how much of a knob they are being...

    You find it hard to feel sorry for me due to using the term geriatric asshole and short man syndrome, but can you see it from my point of view? Never in a million years would I think it’s ok to openly make a derogatory remark (unless it’s an internet rant) to someone knowing that they would be too embarrassed to do anything about it. I’m a kind, gentle, loving person who likes playing guitar, I shouldn’t be made to feel like shit by other people. Fair enough?

    Thanks to those that understood, made me feel a bit better about things. 
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