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Is it time to stop?

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  • p90foolp90fool Frets: 31368
    I gigged fairly heavily with an ambition to be a rock star between the ages of 16 and 19, including a stint with a name artist, then 'retired' before I turned 20, partly through feeling jaded, and partly because I suddenly needed a mortgage or be homeless (again). 

    I didn't really start again until I was 33, landing a couple of 80 date European tours with a minor French celebrity, and picking up a few bits and pieces of session work for Sony (very low level stuff, sounds more glamorous than it was).  

    Since 1998 I've played in a succession of cover bands, some pro, some just friends and family making a bit of beer money like my current one. 

    Interspersed with all this is more studio sessions, a few paid projects in my home studio, and gigging with half a dozen or so original singer/songwriters. 

    The point of all this rambling is that if you're a musician, you'll always be one, you can dip in and out as you please, do it for fun, do it for money, use it to survive through divorce, redundancy and whatever else life throws at you. 

    The crossroads you've arrived at is the one where you realise you're not ever going to "make it big", but funnily enough all the higher level stuff I've done, including stadium gigs and biggish tours ALL came along years after I'd "retired". 

    So of course it's time to stop. 





    For a bit. ;) 
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  • Hey man, dont over think these things! Opportunities may arise long into your 90's, so don't make a decision that you have to go back on, just keep an eye open for the right opportunities!

    I always read these types of threads for a couple reasons. I've been working as a guitarist since I finished uni 3 years ago, did a few good tours and sessions, and had a band that I lived for. The band was super talented and made up of my best mates, but sadly the 5 of us together are maybe a bit too broken and hopeless to get our act together enough to turn it into a job. The session work carried on picking up, and as the band took a bit of a backseat due to a members family sickness. Right as I was entering a period of not much happening I got an offer to join a band full time with a label and good backing. It has pretty much been a life changer for me.

    It's not been without complications though, it took me a good few months to figure out my role in the band and get comfortable with the band members and the very involved record label, but now I'm in it and can't believe that it's happened really I just sort of walked into it without really thinking much about it. But as my involvement began, I had to be realistic with myself about my old band, and while I truly believe that the talent is there, knowing what I know now about bands who have made it through, there is a level of commitment and workmanship that just wasn't there with my previous band. It hurt alot to realise that, and think of myself touring with a different set of dudes. But I had to do what was best, and my older band decided that we are all busy doing other things, and that we would continue to write music and release it without the pressure of PR, gigs, tours, posters, facebook statuses, twitter - all of that bollocks. All that does really is eat up time and if you can't put in the proper shift for that stuff, it's pointless anyway. So I think now that in order to keep it fun you need to figure out what you need from it, whether its playing live, writing, recording, and streamline that and cut out any of the pointless stress that comes along with being in a band and having big ambitions.

    So we just decided to write and have fun with it while we all pursue our own things. Now I am lucky enough to be in a band that is my job, and on the side I write music with my best friends and who knows, maybe in 15 years we will have a serious body of work to look back on - and if anybody happens to like what we're doing along the way then great - but it isn't the be all and end all.

    Sorry for rambling and using 'I' alot, but all of this is something I've thought long and hard about over the last 6 months. What it is to be a musician and what I'm willing to tolerate in order to make music and have fun along the way. Luckily I'm willing to do pretty much anything to tour and do this full time, but many of my friends along the way were not, and thats something I can truly respect - they have found out how to extract the goodness they need from music and cut out any of the bullshit. And can pursue any other dreams on the side. Not being tunnel-vision prone and obsessive is the real talent! 

    Good luck to you man, if a covers band is a way for you to get your rocks off once a week, and earn a bit of beer money on the side..more power to you dude! This world of guitar is littered with super-hero guitar players who never left their home town and that is super cool to me!
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  • Cheers for the comments guys, I've looked around for other bands to maybe join but nothing has really taken my fancy. I don't think its the end for me as a performer but in what context it'll be who knows.

    The other option is to go and play as a live guitarist only, for say, singers who put bands together to gig/tour EP's and albums. Once the cycle is over they get new members. That way I don't have to commit long-term, and if there's any members I don't get on with I only have to do it temporarily til the next gig haha.

    As I've grown to find out over the years it takes a lot to really make an originals band work. Aside from playing your instrument well you have to have all the other characteristics to get together. Cos all my hopes and dreams were in one band I took it very seriously and small things like members turning up late to rehearsals and not learning parts would really irritate me.

    Every day I would be wondering if what I did was enough to propel me to a step closer to being signed, but in most of the bands I played in there would always be 1-2 members not pulling their weight, leaving me to do the lion's share of work. Eventually I grew sick of it though. But I felt pressure to "do something" as if nothing happened we wouldn't get anywhere.

    The band I'm involved in with now is super close-knit and all the guys are singing from the same hymn sheet. Unfortunately they already have 2 guitarists and we've toyed with the idea of using 3 live but the stages we play on aren't quite big enough to house 3 x 4x12 guitar cabs! But I'm enjoying the experience and the backseat role so I think I'll just continue for now. The guys have said they will not hold me back from joining another project or pursuing other interests, which is cool. But they appreciate me being around and helping out with stuff.

    Maybe cover bands is the next way forward as there's no pressure to stand out from other bands, to write the best songs, to pay for the best quality recordings, and spend money on merch, branding, etc etc. Its about having a laugh on a Saturday night playing some tunes and making drunk punters sing and dance. Best of all I get a few quid for it!
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  • richardhomerrichardhomer Frets: 24793
    edited February 2018
    I stopped gigging regularly about 30 years ago - and last played live in 1995. Work, mortgage, marriage and child, etc have all been factors - but so was a general lack of interest. The only reason to play is if you want to. Years of depression made me want to completely stop playing - I came close to selling off my gear a few years ago.

    In recent years, my interest has rekindled - and after playing in a band situation at tFB Northern Jam a couple of weeks ago, I think I may want to gig again.

    There’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ - you have to go with your gut....
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  • I often feel we all (and I certainly include myself) worry too much about all of this. Trust your feelings and don't worry about justifying it to anyone other than yourself - which includes not worrying about how other people will view your current circumstances and activities. Just be. 


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  • I first picked up a guitar in December '16 at the age of 41. 

    According to your OP I might as well be dead! 32!! You're barely past the sperm stage. I fully intend to play live stuff as soon as I'm ready. 


    My Trading Feedback    |    You Bring The Band

    Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you
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  • I'm a big fan of longevity, people like Keith Richards have been touring for decades. I know this isn't the complete end but I always feel some kind of regret none of the originals bands I was in worked harder, got further but its not good to think like that.

    I just think if I left it too long I'll lose that passion for playing live, its nearly been a year already, but I know some of you guys have been away from the stage for longer. When I lose that feeling of anticipation going on stage and the feeling of playing on it then I reckon there's something wrong. I still have that burning desire to play.
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  • I'm always curious about why people do things that don't make them happy. Including myself. I've got a very close friend who has doubts about what he's doing with his music, what he can play, worried he's not a proper musician when he's not in a band, worried when he IS in a band, etc.  

    Most of the worries were around how he appeared to other people. I once asked if he would be happy to make the best music he ever had, playing the best he ever had personally, if no-one else (apart from the rest of the band) ever heard it or knew about it. The answer was "No". It transpired that he needs other people to know what he is doing, and when, in order to feel validated as a proper musician. If no-one knew, he probably wouldn't play at all. 

    That made me sad, but I know he's not the only person who feels like that. 

    I know some people will say that's because music is meant to be heard (and they mean by other people than the person who creates it or plays it). I know that's not true. Music is inanimate. It has no feelings or purpose - it's humans that need it to fulfil a purpose, feel emotions in response and strive to give it meaning. 
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  • MistyMisty Frets: 135
    Well, I used to say I didn't think I'd be playing live beyond 30.....but I'm coming up to 65 and still getting a buzz from it. If you don't enjoy it, stop. You have plenty of time to take it up again if you miss it.

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  • I think I'll always enjoy playing live its just the environment that I was in made me unhappy about it. Now I've been bandless for about a year I'm kinda getting that itch to get back into it. I know I play as a dep sometimes for my mate's band but its not quite the same as being a full-time member. But its the whole slog o having to devote everything into it, and making sacrifices.
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  • Never say never. The thrill and adrenaline rush of playing live never leaves you. I was a latecomer to playing live, only starting in my late 20s, but I've come to realise that in my mid 40s I crave it more than ever. Keep your hand in, but keep it on your terms, even if it's doing jam nights or the odd dep gigs. 
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  • @Alnico just read yr feb 6 post ... all the best with it
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • AlnicoAlnico Frets: 4616
    Thanks Phil.

    Things could be worse. It's nice to reconnect with it all after a break so maybe a break is a good thing in that way?

    My Strat is going to see Jon at Feline soon to be set up again and tweaked and I'm learning songs, looking sideways at jam nights and I even talked to a girl the other day without anything going wrong...

    Thank **** for my guitar,
    That's all I can say right now.
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  • Never say never. The thrill and adrenaline rush of playing live never leaves you. I was a latecomer to playing live, only starting in my late 20s, but I've come to realise that in my mid 40s I crave it more than ever. Keep your hand in, but keep it on your terms, even if it's doing jam nights or the odd dep gigs. 
    Well the current way I'm getting gigs is playing as a dep for my mate's metalcore band, I did a show on Friday and it was pretty cool. I will be expecting to play more shows throughout the year and oddly it kinda suits me at the moment as I'm not required to give full commitment as opposed to a permanent band member.

    I just can't see myself at 50 getting up on stage and rocking out lol. 
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  • John_AJohn_A Frets: 3775
    Never say never. The thrill and adrenaline rush of playing live never leaves you. I was a latecomer to playing live, only starting in my late 20s, but I've come to realise that in my mid 40s I crave it more than ever. Keep your hand in, but keep it on your terms, even if it's doing jam nights or the odd dep gigs. 
    Well the current way I'm getting gigs is playing as a dep for my mate's metalcore band, I did a show on Friday and it was pretty cool. I will be expecting to play more shows throughout the year and oddly it kinda suits me at the moment as I'm not required to give full commitment as opposed to a permanent band member.

    I just can't see myself at 50 getting up on stage and rocking out lol. 
    That's exactly what I said, I'm now 50 and still rock out regularly.  On occasion that includes leathers and an Ibanez destroyer :)
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  • RolandRoland Frets: 8590
    @John_A  I thought you were much younger than that. 


    I just can't see myself at 50 getting up on stage and rocking out lol. 
    When I was 16 I couldn’t imagine being 21. I restarted gigging in my late 40s. Anyone who wants to see a 64 year old playing Teenage Kicks can come to our gig on Saturday.
    Tree recycler, and guitarist with  https://www.undercoversband.com/.
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  • There's a bit of a difference between 21 and 50 haha. Maybe I won't be playing metalcore and jumping around like a madman every week sort of thing.
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  • John_AJohn_A Frets: 3775
    edited February 2018
    Roland said:
    @John_A  I thought you were much younger than that. 


    I just can't see myself at 50 getting up on stage and rocking out lol. 
    When I was 16 I couldn’t imagine being 21. I restarted gigging in my late 40s. Anyone who wants to see a 64 year old playing Teenage Kicks can come to our gig on Saturday.
    Why thank-you   Must be the rock 'n' roll that keeps my youthful  looks (cough)

    I'll be donning leather and Les Paul in Loughborough on Saturday otherwise I may have come and checked you out
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  • p90foolp90fool Frets: 31368

    I just can't see myself at 50 getting up on stage and rocking out lol. 
    You may not want to, at least not all the time. My fondness for the music I was gigging in my teens is still there, but I prefer playing other genres live these days.

    It would've seemed weird to 16 year old me, but electric guitar is an old man's game these days. 
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  • JAYJOJAYJO Frets: 1526
    edited February 2018
    I would suggest gigging is an old mans game these days if your up for it.
    You already more than likely have your self settled, your more well off than you have ever been, your more mature in your relationship decisions.
    you can go to bed what time you like (if your Mrs is with you or if your lucky enough not to be owned by one).
    If you  have a stay behind lockin till sun up you can use your bus pass to get home.
    You dont have to perform for any groupies just send them the  shop for your paper before you leave, and your back to captain the Dominoes team on wednesday night.
     Make sure you only gig in pubs that have a cat. You will need to blame the smell of piss on something and it would be totally unprofessional to blame the audience.
    You could reinvent the punk era spit pit with The Piss Pit!. 

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