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  • BoromedicBoromedic Frets: 4700
    edited June 2018
    @mikeyrob73 ;I'm not surprised it was the worst Monday ever, worst day ever I think, it sounds like it was awful. Fair play to you for moving on and finding your feet and a great partner. Go easy on yourself with the other though mate, it's never anyone's fault, if someone is determined there is very little anyone could ever do to prevent it.

    My head said brake, but my heart cried never.


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  • 57Deluxe57Deluxe Frets: 7329
    My neighbour attempts to take his own life publically monthly when he tries to assert his 20 odd stone, lilly pinked carcus around behind a lawn mower...
    <Vintage BOSS Upgrades>
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  • goldtopgoldtop Frets: 6101
    About 8 years ago, I found my neighbour hanging from a tree one morning. I saw him as I opened the curtains and knew straightaway, but it was a bit surreal, and I tried to convince myself he was fine and just looking up into the tree at birds/squirrels. Then I called the police.

    I'd only recently moved into the house and he'd been one of the few people to pop round and introduce himself. Nice chap, seemed positive in his early years of retirement, but - it's thought - he couldn't deal with the stresses of his wife's long-term post-stroke condition. I rushed around thinking it might have been a murder-suicide, but she was fine and oblivious to what had happened. It was the first time I'd met her.

    As you say, the feeling that I could/should have done something lingers. In my case, I'm 99% sure that during the night I heard the clatter of the stepladder as he would have kicked it away. I sometimes think how alone he must have been feeling. Despite quite some wealth and grown-up kids, he just couldn't have a conversation about not coping or arranging live-in care for his wife. He just took this way out. No cry for help, just fatal determination.
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  • robwrightrobwright Frets: 736
    You saved the guys life - incredible and clearly life-changing. That’s the bit to focus on. I am sure there was nothing you could have done to stop it happening but you were there when needed. You are clearly a very good person and you and your family now need some time to process what has happened. 



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  • soma1975soma1975 Frets: 6627
    My next door neighbour took his life 12 months ago. Spent the morning playing acoustic guitar and at a predetermined time (anniversary of his child's death 20 years prior) hanged himself. 

    He'd reached out a few times and was having counselling for his depression but was just so desperately unhappy. I spoke to him a couple of times - Had only lived there a 18 months - but to be honest I selfishly felt I already had an overloaded boat of people I emotionally try to keep afloat at the time, plus a newborn baby. I often wonder if I could have been there for him and if I could have made a difference but in all reality at best I could maybe have delayed what he was always going to do. 

    I'm not positive that intense and justified sadness lasting 20 years is the same as having a mental illness. He tried everything and felt it was the only avenue open to him to stop the pain. 

    Poor fucker. 
    My Trade Feedback Thread is here

    Been uploading old tracks I recorded ages ago and hopefully some new noodles here.
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  • GoldenEraGuitarsGoldenEraGuitars Frets: 8820
    tFB Trader
    57Deluxe said:
    My neighbour attempts to take his own life publically monthly when he tries to assert his 20 odd stone, lilly pinked carcus around behind a lawn mower...
    Poor, really poor...
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  • ChalkyChalky Frets: 6807
    Increasing awareness of suicide signs is a good thing, but suicide is a very complex area, and there is a danger of over-simplifying it, trying to get it down to ''if someone does this and that then may be suicidal'.

    But sometimes there are no usable signs.  Sometimes, a person has maintained an image for so long that no one could have sensibly foretold their actions.


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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 16254
    When I was a student we had a guest lecturer on deviance, one of the few things I remember from my studies. He talked about suicide and para suicide although the division isn’t that clear.  I mentioned on here a while ago about MrsTheWeary finding a chap on our local park who was in the process of taking an overdose and she helped him, called the ambulance,etc.  Was that a cry for help and if so he was taking a gamble that anyone would walk by/ intervene. Her friend found a chap who’d hung himself on their local park, might have been para suicide gone wrong. 

    So hard to see such potential dangers and issues - I heard a story this week of a single lonely old man that had died at home, in our town - No one knew - He went to the local Costa Coffee everyday before 12 noon - missed 2/3 days so a member of staff questioned this - Cut a long story short, staff + police went to the house and he was lying in the hall way dead - No one knew - Neighbours never saw or suspected anything

    Sterling work by yourself and your wife - Hope the kids come out of this okay with no fear factor or bad dreams

    Something on the radio this week about the increasing automisation of supermarkets. One of the arguments against it was that shop staff provide a back stop social service - that conversation with the woman on the till at Tesco might be their only conversation all day. Very sad but very true. I went into a Costa during the period I was being treated for depression and I obviously looked like shit and the young woman behind the counter there went out of her way to make sure I was okay. A genuine act of kindness. 

    [ FWIW during that same period I was posting on here about pedals n stuff and a regular member decided it was okay to have a bit of a rant at me over something and that upset me greatly. Whilst I am a grown man and a stranger on the internet having a rant over my grammar ( really) is a bunch of nonsense but on that day I took it badly. If you are going to be a shit to someone on the internet perhaps remember there is another person at the end of it. Having just read TTony’s Discussion about taking a break from the forum maybe it’s a timely thought ]

    And +1 on the last bit g4y. I hope all is as well as can be in the Lonestar household. 


    Tipton is a small fishing village in the borough of Sandwell. 
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  • BigMonkaBigMonka Frets: 1763
    @lonestar a week on how are you and your kids getting on?
    Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman, in which case always be Batman.
    My boss told me "dress for the job you want, not the job you have"... now I'm sat in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
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  • GoldenEraGuitarsGoldenEraGuitars Frets: 8820
    tFB Trader
    BigMonka said:
    @lonestar a week on how are you and your kids getting on?
    Hi mate, thank you for asking. I think we’re okay now. I’ve stopped reliving it in my head and I can walk past the front of the house without having the feeling that I’m about to vomit everywhere. I was as tight as a drum last Wednesday night. 

    The kids have stopped referencing it although it was actually our youngest who had the biggest problem with what happened.

    Thank you as well to those who commented, in sorry I haven’t had the time to reply to you all. I’m so busy from 5am every day that I just didn’t get the time to respond but I have read everything.
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  • BigMonkaBigMonka Frets: 1763
    Glad you're doing ok, the memory of traumas like these can rear their heads quite a while after the event so keep an eye on your wellbeing and that your kids are sleeping ok etc (as much as kids ever sleep!).
    It was an impressive thing you did in a difficult situation, much respect to you.
    Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman, in which case always be Batman.
    My boss told me "dress for the job you want, not the job you have"... now I'm sat in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
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  • darthed1981darthed1981 Frets: 11676
    Sorry I missed this before you did really good @lonestar.

    So sorry to hear of the trauma for you and your family, hope you are on the mend but don't feel bad if it doesn't come quickly.  People get legit PTSD from a lot less.
    We have to be so very careful, what we believe in...
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