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No but that reminds me...
4 - age a boy remembers stuff
11 - Pre-teen starts to become aware changes are on the way
13 - Changes are on their way
16 - Becomes aware that schooldays are over and making a living is the future
18 - legally an adult and starts to feel like an adult
21 - now at work and thinking about building a future with shelter and partner firmly on the agenda
28 - a realisation that schooldays are gone and whatever career you've been building is going to be it for the next 40 years. It's a time that men think about that person they've got in their life. Is this what life is all about until you die? Changes commonly occur around this age
40 - similar to age 28, but this time there's a realisation that you're getting older. The body isn't as fit, younger people at work are becoming your boss, kids are growing up, and you've still got 28 years left. Everyone seems to have more than you (don't panic. most of it is on credit!), everyone seems to have better lives than you. Some have emigrated, some have become millionaires, some have high-flying jobs.
55 - more settled, mortgage paid or nearly paid, kids left home, you've probably had some illness requiring a stint in hospital, 12 years left at work and counting down! If you have a wife, she's likely menopausal. If she's a lot younger, she will seem a lot younger and you will feel older. Parents may be reaching end of life. Worries that redundancy = scrapheap and never finding another job.
67 - Retirement. Now what are you going to do with your time?
75 - Grand kids, great grand kids maybe, the garden and general pottering at home is becoming more of a popular past ime. You start to think more about what you're leaving behind as your legacy and impact on the world
80 - 90 - ill health and death
This is generally how life 'maps out' for a man.
With the OP, there's a realisation that you haven't built enough and everyone else seems to be more settled, but truth is there's just as many women out there feeling the same. A woman tends to be thinking of her fertility in her thirties, so chances are in their mid twenties that they've put the picking and choosing of partners behind them and becoming less picky. Days of clubbing and dating are becoming boring.
So I say this, your new partner is probably happy to have you in her life, is looking for a long-term future and likely to dismiss any doubts she might have had about you earlier in her 20's. Whereas before she might've sought perfection a few years ago. she probably now realises it doesn't exist.
Just be yourself and let Mother Nature do her thing. She gets it right more often than not.
https://www.drinksupermarket.com/thunderbird-american-grape-wine-75cl/
Sometimes , if I was feeling flush I would sink two bottles of it but usually ended up dancing on tables and getting thrown out of the pub.
A hero dies but once, a coward dies a thousand times.
Now I'm not calling you a coward in any way. What I'm getting at, coming from someone who has a real problem with over analysing everything, is that I worry about things that are not even problems simply because they, in theory, could be problems. It takes a huge amount of mental and emotional effort for no gain whatsoever.
When I catch myself going down that rabbit hole I think about that quote. If the worst happens I'll deal with it and I'll deal with it once. Suffering the consequences of the worst possible predicted outcome time and time again when in reality there is no problem doesn't help anyone. In fact it can actually bring on the worst outcomes that you fear.
What you are doing may not be totally 'normal' but it's not as uncommon as you would think.
I've tried to re-word this several times to express what I mean in a helpful way without it sounding harsh. I'm not sure I've got the words right but hopefully you get my meaning.
certainly don’t analyse other people’s behaviour
and definitley don’t try and analyse other people’s intentions
all bring stress and worry. So stay away from them. Especially as you will almost always be wrong !
Do what you think is best and good for you and as many people as possible at all times.
Don’t rush things. Don’t pressure people, don’t presume people think the same way about things as you do. Don’t worry that they don’t.
Good luck hope it works out for you
Now 40, I go on dates quietly hoping the other party stands me up so I can go home and have an early night
And it didn’t happen. And later this month we’ll have been together 30 years!
Now I'm 43 I realise I know bugger all.
The last thing I wanted to do in my 20's was settle down, hell I closed my first business at the age of 28 a went travelling round Asia for a year with 3 friends.
At 31 I met my now wife, 3 years later in 2009 we got married, but even now I don't feel grown up enough to have a wife and two young children!
Worry about today tomorrow, and worry about tomorrow next week.
Also chips are "Plant-based" no matter how you cook them.