Worst Job(s)

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Inspired by the First Jobs thread.

Mine was as a p/t office dogsbody for an engineering company in Ipswich. Deffo the worst I ever had. Held responsible ofr everything that did or didn't happen but with no power or authority to make things happen or stop them happening. The most put-on and the lowest paid in the company and the lowest in the pecking order, but I was meant to pay the bills, invoice the customers, do the payroll and have all the credit card receipts organised with the credit card statements for when the company's accountant came round (horribly bossy woman) when the directors would throw their credit card receipts on the floor of their car and then tread on them with muddy boots and it was my fault if the were not presented in pristine condition. The nicest thing those zeebs ever did was to sack me.
"Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • I suppose that, objectively, the worst job I had was in the processing warehouse of a wool factory - when the shit-covered wool would have to be taken off the trucks, sorted by hand, then processed etc. Not only was it a crappy (heh) job, but it was also during the summer when the warehouse would pretty much get to 43 degrees C as soon as the sun came up and stay there until it was time to go home.

    It's also where I picked up the shoulder injury that's basically ruined my enjoyment of sports and gigging for the rest of my life.

    However, the one that sticks in mind is when I worked as 3rd line application support for an animal food distributor (distributing to farms). It wasn't the ancient technology (DEC Alphas running VMS), and it wasn't the luddite customers (they were actually surprisingly nice). It was my boss, his boss and the general asshattery of the entire management team. I almost came to blows with my boss on three separate occasions, and he absolutely hated me (the feeling was mutual).

    I'll never forget the day I handed in my notice, though. It was supposed to be my crowning glory - I called my boss and his manager into the server room for a bit of privacy, and handed them the letter. "Oh, I guess this is your request for a raise..." says my boss and his manager gave a smug smirk. I just stayed silent and they read it. Both of them looked like they were going to cry, which totally threw me for a loop. I was all braced for a massive row, possibly a small amount of violence, and most likely an attempt by them to physically march me off the premises.

    What I got was an extended begging session.

    It was weird.
    <space for hire>
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  • Winny_PoohWinny_Pooh Frets: 7732
    edited January 2019
    Debt Collection (wasn't cut out for it, just desperately needed a job)
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  • OctafishOctafish Frets: 1937
    The worst job I ever had was pulling lobsters out of Jayne Mansfield's arsehole....
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  • teradaterada Frets: 5113
    Octafish said:
    The worst job I ever had was pulling lobsters out of Jayne Mansfield's arsehole....
    What about winston's bogey?
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  • I lasted 5 days in my only ever office job. I CANNOT sit at a desk & wear a shirt and tie every day. I took another job which paid half as much but was four times as much fun... I stayed there 5 years. 

    Sadly I suppose my current job warrants a mention in here too. It feels like I’m constantly battling unattainable targets with insufficient or inappropriate resources in inadequate timeframes. 
    I’d always thought “stress” was a myth or someone being too thin skinned or something...
    Not anymore, my sleep, mood, appetite and family relationships have been affected. It can’t go on like this for much longer. 
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  • mgawmgaw Frets: 5239
    worst job I ever had was putting lobsters into Jayne Mansfields Arsehole.....coincidence or what!!
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  • OctafishOctafish Frets: 1937
    terada said:
    Octafish said:
    The worst job I ever had was pulling lobsters out of Jayne Mansfield's arsehole....
    What about winston's bogey?
    People went to sea on that!
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  • jdgmjdgm Frets: 850
    Night shift at a Parcelforce depot (or whatever it was called back then) in the mid-90s.
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  • beed84beed84 Frets: 2403
    Working in a potato factory. Given that some people had worked there for years, I was surprised how I managed to get through one day peeling spuds before sacking it off.
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  • ionianionian Frets: 100
    I lasted 5 days in my only ever office job. I CANNOT sit at a desk & wear a shirt and tie every day. I took another job which paid half as much but was four times as much fun... I stayed there 5 years. 

    Sadly I suppose my current job warrants a mention in here too. It feels like I’m constantly battling unattainable targets with insufficient or inappropriate resources in inadequate timeframes. 
    I’d always thought “stress” was a myth or someone being too thin skinned or something...
    Not anymore, my sleep, mood, appetite and family relationships have been affected. It can’t go on like this for much longer. 
    As someone who has had a mental breakdown because of stress at work - get out now, don't let things become unmanageable. Even if you don't like the change, you can undo it. Sorry, its just really close to my heart having struggled on to the detriment of my health.

    So yeah - mine was a series of office jobs at an organisation that nearly ended me (although there was a lot going on in life generally) . And I say that as someone who used to make sausages for a living - picking out the pigs scrotums from the mix and throwing them at the old boy butcher was a daily routine, he used to respond by putting sheep's eyeballs down the back of my shirt. Simple pleasures. 
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  • FosterFoster Frets: 1100
    Octafish said:
    The worst job I ever had was pulling lobsters out of Jayne Mansfield's arsehole....
    My worst job was dressing up as a lobster for Jayne Mansfield. I refuse to talk about it.
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  • StevepageStevepage Frets: 3038
    I did a lot of agency work during the last recession, mostly warehouse stuff. 

    But one time I was given the job of cleaning hospital equipment (monitors etc) which didn't sound too bad. Until I got asked to help clean the soiled hospital mattresses. I couldn't clean the ones full of shit, I couldn't stop gagging. 

    Only did that job for 3 days luckily.

    Other than that, I worked with my uncle fitting refrigeration in supermarkets. 

    Long hours
    No sleep
    Poor diet
    No social life

    I earnt decent money (decent for an 18 year old at the time) but I lost out on a lot due to working there. Luckily I will never go back to that.

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  • Phil_aka_PipPhil_aka_Pip Frets: 9794
    edited January 2019
    Stevepage said:
    Luckily I will never go back to that.

    sometimes we have to do crap jobs to teach us what we DON'T want to end up doing, it makes us get our finger out and get qualified or otherwise prepared for doing what we like.

    EDIT I am now earning more than the MD of that dreadful engineering company was getting paid at the time. Can't say I enjoy the job I'm doing now as much as I'd like to but at least I'm getting paid for it.
    "Working" software has only unobserved bugs. (Parroty Error: Pieces of Nine! Pieces of Nine!)
    Seriously: If you value it, take/fetch it yourself
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  • Danny1969Danny1969 Frets: 10357
    edited January 2019
    Probably the worse was when I worked at Smiths Crisp and I was watcher on the chilli crisp production line. What that meant was I watched the crisp go by on a conveyor belt and if I saw one with black bits on it I had to pick it out. Hour after hour I stared at those fucking crisp !! whole place stunk of fat and place was so greasy everybody basically moonwalked around the factory. 
    Another shit job was industrial painter at Cyadimid in Fareham. Duties there included freezing your arse off dangling 30 foot in the air trying to spread rubberised paint over frozen pipes, climbing into tanks wearing breathing gear to needle gun off the rust and getting high painting the inside of lift doors with aforementioned rubberised stinking chemical paint  

    Oh and painting all the pillar boxes in London in the mid nineties .... over 600 of them, most on one way systems and places you couldn't park the van. Spec was rub down, prime bare metal parts, 2 pink undercoats and 2 coats of red gloss. Sod that I used to sweep the dirt off and gloss the bastards .... long as I kept ordering undercoat I got away with it. Trouble was eventually I had 68 cans of pink undercoat in my hallway and still had to order more.  I did undercoat one, it was in Wapping but I never went back and glossed it so for a while London had at least one pink pilla box ... I've often wondered if it ever got glossed. 
    www.2020studios.co.uk 
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  • @ionian thanks. It’s reassuring to hear that it’s not just me being soft etc. 

    Another example of this community being brilliant and supportive... in amongst the jokes about Jayne Mansfield and her lobsters. 


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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 24209
    DVLA.  The job itself was mind-numbingly tedious.  I did everything I could to get out of sitting at the terminal and typing in log book details, tax disc refunds, reading letters from angry people who'd received incorrect documents.  The best one was from a Mr Warner complaining that this was the third time he'd had to send his logbook in and that now we had also misspelled his name too.  I looked at the V5 - he was down as Mr Wanker !

    I volunteered for anything that would get me away from my desk.  I became a union rep, a live patient for the first-aid courses, I'd get stationery for everyone on the team (and take hours doing it), take urgent mail to other departments and take the long way round.  I even once deliberately trapped myself in a lift by fucking about with the doors.  After three years of that (and continually applying for other jobs), I landed the cushiest job ever - a clerical assistant to the union office.  I would turn up late more often than not, fiddle my hours, take 2h lunches every day in the bar, play computer games all day, have a nap on the bed in the unused medical room next door.  Nobody gave a shit and we were in an isolated part of the site so it was basically money (crap money though) for doing fuck-all all day every day.

    As great as that sounds, it soon becomes wearing.  The pointlessness of your 'working' day, the near zero achievement, the lack of any sense of accomplishment or worth quickly took its toll and I left for a proper job just four years later.

     :) 
    Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
    Also chips are "Plant-based" no matter how you cook them.
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  • robgilmorobgilmo Frets: 3359
    Being a mule for a Mexican Drug Cartel, had this van once, totally made out of pot, and...……..
    A Deuce , a Tele and a cup of tea.
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  • jonnyburgojonnyburgo Frets: 12258
    jdgm said:
    Night shift at a Parcelforce depot (or whatever it was called back then) in the mid-90s.
    Night shift at Lynx (now defunkt) courier depot in Eccles, was desperate as had been made redundant at the start of December. 

    I lasted one shift, I've never worked with such a bunch of thick bastards, sub normal grunts that were smashing parcels for fun that were obviously xmas presents.

    Silver lining was that at the end of the month I got a payslip for £849. Clearly the wages dep were a bunch of thick bastards too.

    "OUR TOSSPOT"
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  • JerkMoansJerkMoans Frets: 8775
    Coaching A Tribe Called Quest for the 5-a-Side tournament.
    Inactivist Lefty Lawyer
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  • Custom kitchen deliveries.

    Worst gig ever. I lost count of the number of microwave ovens I had to move. Not to mention the refrigerators. And don't even get me started on the colour TVs.

    I shoulda learned to play the gee-tar. I shoulda learned to play them drums...
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