Buying glasses to fit and suit... Kill me now (2021 Redux!)

thecolourbox

Modellista said:

In the olden days there were people called Dispensing Opticians and they were trained to take a variety of head measurements to ensure they recommended appropriately-sized frames and adjusted them properly.

Now you're likely to get a 16-year-old with an iPad which tells them what to do.

I'd recommend seeking out a practice that actually has a properly accredited DO.  There's nothing immediately wrong with the specs in the picture -  as in, they suit you cosmetically and aren't laughably mis-sized - but it sounds like the drop part of the side has been incorrectly adjusted - either too short or with too steep an angle - and really needs to be adjusted by someone who knows what they're doing.

For the money you've paid you deserve a pair of specs that work properly - don't hesitate to go back and complain.

They've already refunded me don't worry. The type of arms just wasn't right for my head sadly, no adjusting would work. They did adjust them twice and both times they just gave me the same rubbing further across the ear, and a migraine to boot as they were then too loose

thecolourbox

Emp_Fab said:

You have a bit of the Johnny Depp about you !

You can come again

bingefeller

I feel your pain - one of my ears is slightly higher than the other, something which is quite common.  My other problem is that I broke my nose when I fell during an epileptic seizure and one the bridge of my nose is crooked so it's so hard to get glasses sitting straight on my face.  It's annoys me because when I get them adjusted they keep going back to their standard shape and I have to get them readjusted and the girls in Boots Optician know my first name and it's just embarrassing.  

Fretwired

A colleague had laser surgery five years ago and now doesn't need glasses .. he used to break them.

Your only other bet is bespoke .. mine are a special order width wise.

octatonic

I also have the same affliction.

Try the brands Starck or Gold and Wood.
 Neither are cheap (G&W are particularly expensive) but they do the right size frames for my bonce.

My main current frames are Starck Biozero and they are perfectly sized.

Shrews

I can't see why your opticians would say you'd get eye infections or your vision would only be 80% with contacts - millions of people wear them!

Just be careful to wash and ideally make sterile your fingers before putting them into place.

Other than that, if you've got a wide head, then you've got a wide head and it's as simple as that.  Just like some people have to wear specially made shoes or, well, any clothing accessory really, then you just have to accept that to find a pair of glasses you want then you might have to pay a lot more.

Once the money is spent you won't notice it was expensive but you will notice it if you love wearing thenm and they're great lenses that help you eyesight.

I think the next thing I'd do is try two more opticians and if all four are saying the same thing then you probably don't have an option and just have to accept it.

octatonic

Contacts aren’t for everyone.
I cannot wear them, my eyelids are not elastic enough to get them in.
I’ve tried on multiplie occasions. 

thecolourbox

bingefeller said:

I feel your pain - one of my ears is slightly higher than the other, something which is quite common.  My other problem is that I broke my nose when I fell during an epileptic seizure and one the bridge of my nose is crooked so it's so hard to get glasses sitting straight on my face.  It's annoys me because when I get them adjusted they keep going back to their standard shape and I have to get them readjusted and the girls in Boots Optician know my first name and it's just embarrassing.  

It is quite an uncomfortable experience in general isn't it - how do you tell the "trying to be helpful" staff that you do not like their style choice and to leave you alone to try stuff yourself because their help is not going to help? How many times do you have to explain I can't have this because of x, that doesn't work because of y, all while basically discussing your facial decoration choices with a stranger on minimum wage and cheekbones the size of the white cliffs of dover

Fretwired said:

A colleague had laser surgery five years ago and now doesn't need glasses .. he used to break them.

Your only other bet is bespoke .. mine are a special order width wise.

I'm not going to go bespoke I'm afraid, I'd be scared to wear them. Laser is an expensive option also for a less than -0.75 prescription it seems a bit OTT, plus the risks of it going tits up.

octatonic said:

I also have the same affliction.

Try the brands Starck or Gold and Wood.
 Neither are cheap (G&W are particularly expensive) but they do the right size frames for my bonce.

My main current frames are Starck Biozero and they are perfectly sized.

I'll look them up but they sound too spendy for me I'm afraid, I'm not very rich

thecolourbox

Shrews said:

I can't see why your opticians would say you'd get eye infections or your vision would only be 80% with contacts - millions of people wear them!

I have always had significant problems with dry eyes and spend all of my waking life in artificial light which makes you blink even less, even though you need to blink more. I've been to two separate proper opticians about it and they both said the same thing, unaware I'd asked the other

Shrews said:

Other than that, if you've got a wide head, then you've got a wide head and it's as simple as that.  Just like some people have to wear specially made shoes or, well, any clothing accessory really, then you just have to accept that to find a pair of glasses you want then you might have to pay a lot more.

On the contrary, I've bought some basic ones for £25 which I'll just take off as soon as I leave the office so nobody important will ever see me in them!

Fretwired

thecolourbox said:

I'm not going to go bespoke I'm afraid, I'd be scared to wear them. Laser is an expensive option also for a less than -0.75 prescription it seems a bit OTT, plus the risks of it going tits up.

Bespoke as in they make them wider for me not as in designer and very expensive. I use Boots Opticians and get two pairs. Not expensive.

thecolourbox

Fretwired said:

thecolourbox said:

I'm not going to go bespoke I'm afraid, I'd be scared to wear them. Laser is an expensive option also for a less than -0.75 prescription it seems a bit OTT, plus the risks of it going tits up.

Bespoke as in they make them wider for me not as in designer and very expensive. I use Boots Opticians and get two pairs. Not expensive.

Boots do bespoke glasses? That means they've kept me in there three separate times painfully going through every possible frame and not mentioned this?!

Fretwired

thecolourbox said:

Fretwired said:

thecolourbox said:

I'm not going to go bespoke I'm afraid, I'd be scared to wear them. Laser is an expensive option also for a less than -0.75 prescription it seems a bit OTT, plus the risks of it going tits up.

Bespoke as in they make them wider for me not as in designer and very expensive. I use Boots Opticians and get two pairs. Not expensive.

Boots do bespoke glasses? That means they've kept me in there three separate times painfully going through every possible frame and not mentioned this?!

My terminology. My branch is very good - in fact we have two branches. My sister who lives 200 miles away can't stand her local branch so I guess you take pot luck. I have a widish face and find many glasses too tight .. I was advised which glass ranges to choose and they ordered the right size and adjusted them to fit.

Edit: mine are designed for a large head width.

thecolourbox

Right yes gotcha now, see what you mean. They didn't have any that suited me anywhere near my size sadly, only rectangle ones which is what my £25 NHS ones are so may as well stick with that.

I'll never like wearing glasses, I hope only to tolerate them

barry2tone

thecolourbox said:

I'm ready to jump of a cliff. The problem is that I seemingly have a very wide head so hardly any of the glasses fit, and if they do they are a shape that does not suit me at all, seem to only be rectangular ones and they look terrible on me and age me a lot. I'm not fat just wide in the head at the wrong section seemingly.

The problem seems to be that I care what I look like and I want to look nice and a little bit hip. I am not very happy to give up on life and become somebody that just doesn't care what they look like, but apparently I have no choice.

I bought some at a whopping £280 from Vision Express which looked adequate and seemed to fit. However once I wore them for 14 hours a day for a couple of days they rubbed my right ear so much that it cut it. They were some kind of sporty skull grabbing things that I thought may have helped the fat head situation by circumventing a bit which they did, but for the ear problem they would have been adequate.

I've now had migraines for a month and a half because my existing two pairs don't fit - one are too small and have therefore stretched so slip down my nose all the time so the constant shifting focus gives me the frontal headaches, the other pair are just too narrow so squash my temples giving me the side headache in addition to the remnant of frontal headache.

They've tried to suggest those that bend outwards but they look awful and a bit like when a six year old does a 2d drawing of somebody in glasses, just emphasising the massive head further.

I've just had to buy the cheapest pair that fit inn order to try to stop the migraines, but even they take a bit of lead in time because the lenses have to be ordered in because they are wide (further fat head problems).

Can't get contacts as two separate opticians have said I'd get eye infections and would only have 80% vision anyway, which is basically the same as what I have if I take the glasses off.

Not sure what the point of me sharing this is but I just want to vent and scream and smash my headache causing existing goggles into the wall

Over and out

  
I've probably more direct experience of this than you could reasonably expect to find.
Had more than enough surgery as a kid, including an optic nerve tumour which leaves me monocular.

My suggestion is likely to seem way out of left field, but comes from one who had to shift paradigms (medical model trained as a NHS physiotherapist) in order to find something that works for me.

Find your local qualified craniosacral therapist.
They have a detailed understanding of how fibrous restrictions in the body can alter the subtle skull movements that necessarily accompany the pressure changes of breathing.  It's the right half of your skull that is tugging at the specs, so loosen the left nosepiece as first aid.

The web will tell more.
I type as I've found - through a long, frustrating and painful journey.
Happy to help out if you need more information.

Sidenote: Scotland is amongst the world's leading centres for CST.

P.S.  Specsavers definitely preferred to VE.

thecolourbox

Thanks @barry2tone and sorry to hear of your struggle, some perspective certainly gained, one of the most frustrating things is how het up I've got about what is effectively a vanity project facial decoration when clearly there are others with worse problems to face.

The ones I had though were plastic so had no adjustable nose piece. Also I've never experienced that issue before with any specs so logically I have to conclude it was just the design of the wrap around arms not working with my face when the weight of the glass was applied. However that every optician insists on using plastic in the trial pairs is very frustrating because not only do they look awful when you try them on, problems like there were with the ear cutters may have become apparent at that point instead.

Always gone to Spec savers in the past apart from to check for contacts, in fact my eye test this time was with them, however their frames were very underwhelming and their customer service approach while you're browsing is similar to the midges you get in the Scottish highlands. My cheap NHS pair are coming from there hence why I suspect they will fall apart! My existing pairs are from there and are just too small, but that's because they had nothing last time and I was bored of looking so just got whatever was there. Paying for that now

danishbacon

Not sure if could be a solution but check out a company called ace & tate .they might have some more varied sizes/styles and I think they offer in-home trial boxes. 

thecolourbox

danishbacon said:

Not sure if could be a solution but check out a company called ace & tate .they might have some more varied sizes/styles and I think they offer in-home trial boxes. 

Yeah they weren't big enough either, I tried a few and one looked nice enough but wasn't big enough sadly

stickyfiddle

Bear in mind you can do your own adjustment that most high-street opticians won't bother with. I'm another large-headed, largely-blind fecker, and I've learned that what I need isn't extreme arches over the ears, but for the arms to bend around my head so they pinch my skull behind my ears instead. 

This pair were quite uncomfortable when new, even though they didn't slip down my nose. I've adjusted them at home since and they're great now. I just sit one arm in a mug of warm but not scorching water for a minute or so, then bend them very carefully with my fingers. Trial and error, and obviously you want to do it very gently, but it's easy enough. I've done the same with several pairs now.

They might be above budget, but they're Moscots, who do lots of great looking glasses and most in multiple sizes. These were the middle-size option of the style, and I got the large ones as sunglasses at the same time.

bacchanalian

As @octatonic mentioned, I would second trying Starck.  I have had a pair as either my main or second pair for the last 20 years.
They are very comfortable because they have a hinge that moves in 360 degrees and adapts to the shape of your head.

The glasses in your picture look like you would only need a few more millimeters either side. 

How wide do you need them between the temples.  I have Starcks that are 140 mm wide and I have Cutler and Gross that are 146 mm.

You could also try something like Silhouette rimless

thecolourbox

I'll have a look stickyfiddle but I dustiest finding anywhere that lets me try them will be the difficulty but will see what I can find.

@bacchanalian they weren't too narrow they fit fine, they did adjust them too be wider which was worse as they then slipped down my face like my existing migraine glasses do so I had the pain further across my ear plus migraine. Rimless is not an option as I looked way too old but I will look at the other brands if anywhere local has them