Witty put-downs in song lyrics

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  • The new song by The Vaccines has a good un.

    Fuck you, Chris Whitty, you're Graphs are so Shitty!








    Oh, that's not what you meant is it  =)
    "Shut it! You Slaaaaaaag"
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  • DominicDominic Frets: 10848
    Take a look at my girlfriend
    She's the only one I got
    Not much of a girlfriend
    I never seem to get a lot ..................
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  • DominicDominic Frets: 10848
    Gordon is a Moron......yeah yeah
    I was never a Jilted John Fan but I do find John Shuttleworth very funny in a Northern Way
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  • All of Frankly Mr Shankly. 
    Idiots. 
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  • NeillNeill Frets: 937
    "Get your tongue out of my mouth 'cos I'm kissing you goodbye"

    Ray Stevens.
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  • “He’s the one who likes all our pretty songs and he likes to sing along and he likes to shoot his gun but he knows not what it means.”

    The beautiful self fulfilling irony lost on all the trendy kids singing along to Nirvana’s In Bloom completely unaware that they were the subject matter. Hard to think of a more witty put-down.
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  • The new song by The Vaccines has a good un.

    Fuck you, Chris Whitty, you're Graphs are so Shitty!








    Oh, that's not what you meant is it  =)
     
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  • SnapSnap Frets: 5158
    can't remember the line, but something in a Smiths song talking about corned beef legs - savagely funny
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  • JalapenoJalapeno Frets: 5681
    Not subtle, but Watford Gap from Roy Harper's Bullinamingvase album

    "Just about a mile from where the motorways all merge
    You can view the national edifice, a monumental splurge
    It's the lonesome traveller's rotgut or bacteria's revenge
    The great plastic spectacular descendant of Stonehenge
    And the people come to worship on their death-defying wheels
    Fancy-dressed as shovels for their death-defying meals
    It's the Watford Gap, Watford Gap
    A plate of grease and a load of crap"

    Imagine something sharp and witty here ......

    Feedback
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  • Marilyn Manson - Mutilation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery:

    ”Thinking they’re the shit when they can’t even step in it”

    And not so much a put-down, but makes me smile: “I’ve got mood poisoning; it must be something I hate”, from You and Me and the Devil Makes 3
    Too much gain... is just about enough \m/

    I'm probably only member of this forum mentioned by name in Whiskey in the Jar

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  • Eminem has loads. His first few albums are pretty much all put downs but surely one of the most cutting is

    When I was young I used to throw fits
    How are you going to breastfeed me mum? You ain't got no tits

    And the song Rats by Ghost is a great put down. It's not about rats or the plague; it's all a diss track against the former bandmates that tried to sue him
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  • mike257mike257 Frets: 327
    Eminem has loads. His first few albums are pretty much all put downs...
    Surprised there isn't more hip hop in here, it's full of great put downs!
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  • chotu495chotu495 Frets: 355
    edited January 2021
    Idles - “Never fight a man with a perm”

    A heathen from Eton
    On a bag of Michael Keaton
    A heathen from Eton
    On a bag of Michael Keaton
    He thinks he's suave
    You're not suave 'cause you watched Get Carter
    You are a catalogue, plastic Sinatra
    A tryhard, you should've tried harder.

    Me, oh me, oh my, Roy
    You look like a walking thyroid
    You're not a man, you're a gland
    You're one big neck with sausage hands
    You are a Topshop tyrant
    Even your haircut's violent
    You look like you're from Love Island
    He stood and the room went silent.
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  • ICBMICBM Frets: 59023
    edited February 2021
    This is the song that made me realise what a genius songwriter Shakira is - and yes, she does write the lyrics. (Bear in mind that English isn't her first language, and she writes in Spanish and Portuguese as well...) Bonus points for getting the word 'hydroponic' into a song!

    Poem To A Horse

    You're too far to bring you close
    And too high to see below
    Just hangin' on your daily dose
    I know you never needed anyone
    But the rolling papers for your grass
    How can you give what you don't have

    You keep on aiming for the top
    And quit before you sweat a drop
    Feed your empty brain with your hydroponic pot
    Start out playing with yourself
    You get more fun within your shell
    Nice to meet you but I gotta go my way

    I'll leave again 'cause I've been waiting in vain
    But you're so in love with yourself
    If I say my heart is sore
    Sounds like a cheap metaphor
    So I won't repeat it no more

    I'd rather eat my soup with a fork
    Or drive a cab in New York
    'Cause to talk to you is harder work
    So what's the point of wasting all my words
    If it's just the same or even worse
    Than reading poems to a horse

    You keep on aiming for the top
    And quit before you sweat a drop
    Feed your empty brain with your hydroponic pot
    I bet you'll find someone like you
    'Cause there's a foot for every shoe
    I wish you luck but I've other things to do

    I'll leave again 'cause I've been waiting in vain
    But you're so in love with yourself
    If I say my heart is sore
    Sounds like a cheap metaphor
    So I won't repeat it no more

    "Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone." - Walt Kowalski

    "Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand." - Homer Simpson

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