Awful songs that somehow made it.

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  • blobbblobb Frets: 1634
    ooo oo black betty
    Feelin' Reelin' & Squeelin'
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  • jonnyburgojonnyburgo Frets: 8898
    That Keith Harris and Orville song, just horribly mawkish, aural vomit.
    "OUR TOSSPOT"
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  • RandallFlaggRandallFlagg Frets: 12258
    edited February 21
    Chemical Bros - Block Rockin' Beats. A few samples thrown together that runs out of creativity at 20 seconds. It makes my teeth itch.


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  • mrkbmrkb Frets: 2203
    Bohemian Rhapsody- in fact queen did a load of cheesy songs, so most of their back catalogue!
    Karma......
    Ebay mark7777_1
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  • JohnS37JohnS37 Frets: 218
    The Final Countdown.
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  • ICBMICBM Frets: 55198
    JohnS37 said:
    The Final Countdown.
    That's so cheesy I actually like it now. The guitar solo is brilliant, total Blackmore pastiche.


    One I heard on late-night TV the other day having mercifully forgotten about for decades - Lily The Pink, by Scaffold. The band name should have been carried out...

    "Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone." - Walt Kowalski

    "Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand." - Homer Simpson

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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 11689
    ICBM said:

    One I heard on late-night TV the other day having mercifully forgotten about for decades - Lily The Pink, by Scaffold. The band name should have been carried out...
    With Jack Bruce on bass! 

    The novelty song/ single is a thing that has pretty much gone from modern popular music yet was a pretty successful genre for many years. Bands like the Scaffold, Barron Knights, the Wurzels had decent careers. I saw The Wurzels live about three years ago and very enjoyable it was too. 
    Inhale away Jackson Jeffrey Jackson. 
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  • Done two gigs with Wurzells as support. Most lost in showbiz arrogant assholes ever. Typical bloody jock with an attitude. 
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  • PhilW1PhilW1 Frets: 666
    Do they know it’s Christmas.
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  • scrumhalfscrumhalf Frets: 8050
    I caught this festering turd on Now70s the other day:

    I've Never Been To Me.

    With crap songs like that it's a miracle if anyone else has been to you, either.
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  • NeillNeill Frets: 858
    Neill said:

    Long Haired Lover from Liverpool by Jimmy Osmond

    Unchained Melody by Robson and Jerome

    Mull of Kintyre

    Yellow Submarine

    Two Little Boys by Rolf Harris 

    Ernie (the fastest milkman in the west) by Benny Hill

    Mouldy old Dough by Lieutenant Pidgeon

    Annie's Song by John Denver 

    Save Your Love by Renee and Renato

    Mistletoe and Wine by Cliff Richard


    If you haven't heard any of the above then sink to your knees and thank whatever God you believe in.
    I think you have to exempt xmas songs from this list as they are almost by definition awful. 

    I don’t mind Mouldy Old Dough but you do wonder how the hell it ever became a hit. Which teenagers in 1972 were spending their pocket money on that and listening to it over and over on their dansettes. 

    My sister had the James Galway version of Annie’s Song on a single, that’s a real test of grit and determination to listen to all of that. 
    Well I was 16 when Mouldy Old Dough was number one and I certainly didn't buy it...  

    But it wasn't just a novelty record they were a novelty band with Rob Woodward's 58 year old mum playing the piano - the press made a big thing of this and I remember it was the one and only time my grandma watched TOTP, so maybe she bought it...  
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  • This is what I’m banking on, however awful these songs were, and some seriously were, there are still people out there who like them and ain’t heard them for ages.  B)
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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 11689
    scrumhalf said:
    I caught this festering turd on Now70s the other day:

    I've Never Been To Me.

    With crap songs like that it's a miracle if anyone else has been to you, either.
    That was on the one hit wonders show on BBC4 the other night, I’m surprised it wasn’t banned by the BBC at the time due to some of the lyrics ( I’ve been undressed by kings...the subtle whoring...). 


    Neill said:
    Neill said:

    Long Haired Lover from Liverpool by Jimmy Osmond

    Unchained Melody by Robson and Jerome

    Mull of Kintyre

    Yellow Submarine

    Two Little Boys by Rolf Harris 

    Ernie (the fastest milkman in the west) by Benny Hill

    Mouldy old Dough by Lieutenant Pidgeon

    Annie's Song by John Denver 

    Save Your Love by Renee and Renato

    Mistletoe and Wine by Cliff Richard


    If you haven't heard any of the above then sink to your knees and thank whatever God you believe in.
    I think you have to exempt xmas songs from this list as they are almost by definition awful. 

    I don’t mind Mouldy Old Dough but you do wonder how the hell it ever became a hit. Which teenagers in 1972 were spending their pocket money on that and listening to it over and over on their dansettes. 

    My sister had the James Galway version of Annie’s Song on a single, that’s a real test of grit and determination to listen to all of that. 
    Well I was 16 when Mouldy Old Dough was number one and I certainly didn't buy it...  

    But it wasn't just a novelty record they were a novelty band with Rob Woodward's 58 year old mum playing the piano - the press made a big thing of this and I remember it was the one and only time my grandma watched TOTP, so maybe she bought it...  
    I think the actual piano used is ( or was anyway) in the Coventry Music Museum.* Useful to know if you want to pay homage to it/ smash it with an axe. 



    * they do have some good stuff such as Delia Derbyshire’s synths. 
    Inhale away Jackson Jeffrey Jackson. 
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  • NeillNeill Frets: 858
    This is what I’m banking on, however awful these songs were, and some seriously were, there are still people out there who like them and ain’t heard them for ages.  B)
    I suppose it's a bit like inspecting the contents of you handkerchief after you've blown your nose...

    But in all seriousness I think you are onto something, I can remember many a drunken chorus of the Smurfs Song back in my drinking days, "Do you vair yur caps in bed..."  so I reckon that would go down very well with the right audience. 

    Mind you, I'd like to see how you're going to do "Amazing Grace" by the band of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards.
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  • NeillNeill Frets: 858
    edited February 21
    scrumhalf said:
    I caught this festering turd on Now70s the other day:

    I've Never Been To Me.

    With crap songs like that it's a miracle if anyone else has been to you, either.
    That was on the one hit wonders show on BBC4 the other night, I’m surprised it wasn’t banned by the BBC at the time due to some of the lyrics ( I’ve been undressed by kings...the subtle whoring...). 


    My God..!  Until now whenever I heard that song I presumed I misheard the lyrics, but it really is "Subtle Whoring".   

    I have to admit, like Ann Murray's "Snowbird" the song is one of my guilty pleasures.   Sort of in the same category as riding a moped or going to bed with a really fat girl - great fun but you wouldn't want your mates to catch you doing it.



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  • CHRISB50CHRISB50 Frets: 2571
    I think I’d probably label the whole genre of Europop as shite. 

    Party Bus - Vengaboys
    Barbie Girl - Can’t remember who it’s by and can’t be arsed to look. 

    Although, Better Off Alone by Alice Deejay is a guilty pleasure. 

    I can't help about the shape I'm in, I can't sing I ain't pretty and my legs are thin

    But don't ask me what I think of you, I might not give the answer that you want me to

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  • phil_b said:
    Physical ONJ

    Wired for sound fron Cliff
    I liked wired for sound, bought album on cassette
    I’m devout 80s rocker , but I really like these two , I think it’s a mix of nostalgia , 1981 was a great year for me and they were constantly on the radio .
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  • ICBM said:
    JohnS37 said:
    The Final Countdown.
    That's so cheesy I actually like it now. The guitar solo is brilliant, total Blackmore pastiche.


    One I heard on late-night TV the other day having mercifully forgotten about for decades - Lily The Pink, by Scaffold. The band name should have been carried out...
    Jack Bruce ,graham Nash and some others appear on that too, can’t remember if mc cart yes on it 
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  • prowlaprowla Frets: 3674
    Lady In Red
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  • prowlaprowla Frets: 3674
    ICBM said:
    JohnS37 said:
    The Final Countdown.
    That's so cheesy I actually like it now. The guitar solo is brilliant, total Blackmore pastiche.


    One I heard on late-night TV the other day having mercifully forgotten about for decades - Lily The Pink, by Scaffold. The band name should have been carried out...
    Jack Bruce ,graham Nash and some others appear on that too, can’t remember if mc cart yes on it 

    I saw Europe supporting Deep Purple a couple of years ago - they were really good.

    The Scaffold - featuring John Gorman (of Tiswas fame!).
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  • Ok first show lineup. Those of a certain age may wanna hide your eyes in case of flashbacks! 
    Snoopy Vs Red Dragon The Royal Guardsmen 
    Billy Don’t be a hero Paper Lace 
    save your Love Renee and Renato 
    save your kisses for me. Brotherhood of man
    Simon Says 1910 Fruitgum factory.
    Mr Custer Charlie Drake
    Making your mind up Fucks Bizz
    The Streak Ray Stevens
    Convoy CW McCall
    In the Summertime Mungo Jerry
    mmmbop Hanson
    Tiptoe thru’the Tulips Tiny Tim
    Cinderella Rockefeller  Ester and Abi Ofarim
    theres no one quite like Grandma St Winifreds school choir
    Yellow Submarine The Beatles.
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  • 2nd Show 
    Goody Goody Gumdrops 1910 Fruitgum Company 
    Itsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini Timmy Mallett
    Little Arrows Leapy Lee
    running bear Johnny Preston
    Beach Baby beach First class
    My boomerang won’t come back Charlie Drake
    Lily the Pink The Scaffold 
    Telephone man Meri Wilson
    Ernie Fastest Milkman Benny Hill 
    Hello Muddah Hello Faddah Alan Sherman 
    mouldy old dough Lieutenant Pigeon 
    Is this the way to Amarillo Tony Christie
    Can Can Bad Manners 
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  • Probably will do one a week for a month to see how it goes.
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  • LastMantraLastMantra Frets: 1674
    edited February 21
    There's been an advert running lately with a tune that reminded me of something and I just figured out it's the "that's not my name" song that was everywhere for a bit. Can't remember who did it.
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  • NeillNeill Frets: 858
    There's been an advert running lately with a tune that reminded me of something and I just figured out it's the "that's not my name" song that was everywhere for a bit. Can't remember who did it.
    The Ting Tings song you mean?
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  • merlinmerlin Frets: 4027
    Total Eclipse of the Heart. 
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  • LastMantraLastMantra Frets: 1674
    Neill said:
    There's been an advert running lately with a tune that reminded me of something and I just figured out it's the "that's not my name" song that was everywhere for a bit. Can't remember who did it.
    The Ting Tings song you mean?

    Ah yeah think that's it.
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  • BellycasterBellycaster Frets: 4619
    What's wrong with you lot? These are all Classics!

     :s 
    But Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man, that he didn't already have!
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  • 545454545454 Frets: 138
    Ooh, more TOTP inspired crap:
     
    Tonight by New Kids on the Block

    I saw this on TOTP the other day and though "this has to be the shittest song of all time". I had to watch it again on YouTube in case I was missing something, but no, shittest song of all time.
    I can understand stuff like Joe Dolce, Birdy Song etc, because even if they're shit, there is the novelty of it, and it's not like anyone takes it too seriously. But the New Kids thing was just awful from start to finish, a whole load of incongruous parts that go from bad to worse.
    Just in case there is any doubt, I didn't like it. But on YouTube it has 51m views, so maybe I'm wrong - that's about 51m views more than I've got. Dreadful song. 
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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 11689
    545454 said:
    Ooh, more TOTP inspired crap:
     
    Tonight by New Kids on the Block

    I saw this on TOTP the other day and though "this has to be the shittest song of all time". I had to watch it again on YouTube in case I was missing something, but no, shittest song of all time.
    I can understand stuff like Joe Dolce, Birdy Song etc, because even if they're shit, there is the novelty of it, and it's not like anyone takes it too seriously. But the New Kids thing was just awful from start to finish, a whole load of incongruous parts that go from bad to worse.
    Just in case there is any doubt, I didn't like it. But on YouTube it has 51m views, so maybe I'm wrong - that's about 51m views more than I've got. Dreadful song. 
    I didn’t remember it but when it came on I thought okay boy band it’ll be a three minute jaunty pop song. But no, as well the stupid lyrics it has this show tune type mixed tempo thing going on plus this vague Beatlesesque arrangement. It’s a truly horrible thing. 
    Most of the comments on YouTube seem to be in Spanish so maybe it’s better if you don’t understand it. 
    Inhale away Jackson Jeffrey Jackson. 
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