Things that put you off a guitar listing

BigPaulie

When I see a guitar advert on eBay, Facebook, Reverb, etc. etc. etc. there are certain words and phrases that piss me off to the point where I probably won't even click on it. Things like:

Detailing the length of the guitar - How is that even relevant?
The word "lawsuit"
Saying it needs new strings - Duh!
Saying it needs tuned - Duh!
Telling me it's beautiful - I'll be the judge of that, thank you very much!
If it's signed by a band/artist - who gives a f#@£?
"Plays like butter" - Yuck!

What turns you off guitar adverts?

sixstringsupplies

"She"

Funkfingers

Lashings of technical jargon, used with complete abandon, revealing that the seller has no idea what the expressions mean.

e.g. "High gain pickups".
No pickup possesses gain. Even in active pickups, any gain occurs in the built-in pre-amp circuitry.

"My luthier." 

The seller retains the services of somebody who can build instruments from scratch just to tweak Superstrats? I think not.

BigPaulie

sixstringsupplies said:

"She"

Or "he". Or any other attempt to humanise an inanimate object, such as 'little fella" etc. I've blocked people for less...

Tannin

Funkfingers said:

e.g. "High gain pickups".
No pickup possesses gain. Even in active pickups, any gain occurs in the built-in pre-amp circuitry.

The entire instrument is always H£GH GA£N in the case of a certain twat from E$$EX.

BillDL

Apart from an amateurish "home made" relic job, the main thing that will usually make me close the browser tab and look at the next guitar is when I see that all the electrics, the pickups, the nut, and bridge/tailpiece have been "upgraded".  It's quite often impossible to know from photos how well executed these changes have been.  It is especially offputting when the pickups have been swapped for middle of the road ones, because often that is an indication that there has been tinkering for the sake of tinkering by somebody with little or only moderate experience.  Even the presence of replacement high end parts isn't always an indicator of the skill and experience of the person that fitted them.  I would far rather buy a guitar than may or may not need parts changed and to do it all properly if anything really needs to be upgraded.

I once missed the chance to buy an old substantially built sandstone "schoolhouse", i.e. the teacher's house that used to serve as a rural school for about 20 pupils.  An elderly couple had lived in it for many years and when the husband died the wife put it up for sale.  It was in need of "modernisation" and the price was really low for the size of the house and within my scope, but other circumstances meant I couldn't pursue the purchase.  It needed a full wiring upgrade, new plumbing and heating, and some external stone renovations, but I liked the fact that it had not been tinkered with by DIY enthusiasts over the years.  In comparison, the 20 year old Wimpy house that I went on to buy a year later had been previously occupied by 6 owners during that time and each one must have worked from the same B&Q "how-to" book and done work that was beyond their skill levels.  Every time you try to make changes properly in a house like that you uncover horrors like mains cables twisted together and taped, wrong rating of cable, spurs from spurs from spurs, dodgy attempts at installing lighting in a loft, and other amateurish makeshift work.

Just like the good old solidly built and untouched house would have provided a blank canvas, a structurally sound and well built guitar that has not been tinkered with is more appealing to me than one that has had an extensive makeover by an overzealous owner too keen to upgrade without much prior experience at doing upgrades.  

CavemanGrogg

Don't think you would be disappointed, amazed it's not sold yet.

This statement raises a bunch of red flags for me:

Firstly the price, secondly the condition of the guitar, thirdly whether or not everything works as it is suppossed to, and lastly the parts are they stock or after market and how well or badly have they been installed.

Tannin

"If you know you know."  This is code for "Odd-ball or little-known model with poor resale value. I don't want to take a bath on it so I'm hoping that you will foolishly pay near-new price because you actually don't know."

LordOxygen

The price.

SlopeSoarer

Quite often it is something in the photo like the guitar being leant against a radiator or the guitar being leaned at 45 degrees only being supported by the headstock and bottom of the body.

scrumhalf

"As good as a..." then goes on to describe a guitar costing twice as much.

"easily fixed" which means it's in bits and the seller can't repair it. 

tone1

It’s so good I’ve got 2 of them…..but the 1 I’m keeping is better.

Lodious

“Les Paul Killer”. It’s a ridiculous analogy, but if the fight ever took place, the resale value of the guitar your trying to sell took a hell of a lot of damage in the battle. 

Roland

Any advert which starts “Up for grabs ...”

Toms_Dad

“It’s an easy fix.”
If that is so, then do it before you sell it.
Also people who call you “bud” or “mate” when responding.
I’ve never met you. You are not my friend.

Rowby1

Y’see, I’m going to have to bookmark this thread to make sure my last FS thread didn’t offend anyone. 

So far so good……apart from pickup changes and I’m not apologising to anyone for that

sev112

BigPaulie said:

When I see a guitar advert on eBay, Facebook, Reverb, etc. etc. etc. there are certain words and phrases that piss me off to the point where I probably won't even click on it. Things like:

Detailing the length of the guitar - How is that even relevant?

So you can work out whether youve got a case for it

i bought a jumbo acoustic few years back, took me ages to find a soft or hard case for it because the headstock is too long, in the end I needed an acoustic bass case 

usedtobe

So many of the above, for me.. Some of mine:
 Lawsuit is always a favourite. Rare. Super rare..
 Anything really, really overpriced for what it is.. She. If you’re here, you know what you’re looking at.. Obvious lies and bullshit.. Barn/attic find/house clearance.. Easy fix.. Keyword spam (often seen on eBay).. Sellers who come across as cocky and act like they’re doing you a favour..

Grumpyrocker

Poor gramma, bad spelling, and low quality images. If you can't be bothered to put some effort into writing a literate listing, proof-read it, and provide some useful images then really I'm not interested.  

tone1

Roland said:

Any advert which starts “Up for grabs ...”

Ah, that’s me busted....Guilty 

Cols

Roland said:

Any advert which starts “Up for grabs ...”

Also “Here we have…”

You’re flogging something on eBay, not auctioning it at Sotheby’s.