Time to face reality - I'm no longer a guitarist

Haych

In recent years the opportunity to indulge in the thing I have obsessed over for more than 35 years has dropped off a cliff.

Even listening to music has become something of a luxury when even a few years ago it was a lifeline to get me through daily life.

Even when I do have the opportunity to play, I rarely feel the desire.  I don't know if anyone else feels the same, but playing guitar and making music isn't something I can pick up and put down like reading the newspaper.  It consumes me totally and unless I can be completely absorbed in playing and creating I just don't want to do it.  I don't have that mindset and if I do get absorbed in playing I feel depressed and irritated when I'm interrupted.

Family life sadly has impacted my passion to the extent that I hardly ever pick up a guitar in the way I used to any longer.

I still have the gear, the amps, the guitars, the effects and other associated paraphernalia, but it all sits redundant.

I always thought I would be sad and feel dejected even at the thought this day would come, at the mere suggestion that I would stop playing in the way I once did.

Oddly, I feel very little.  I don't even really feel the desire to play or make music any more.  I have relatively recently obtained even more gear in a desperate attempt to kickstart my playing again and reignite the desire, but it just isn't there.  Even on the odd occasion when I do pick up the guitar I noodle for a bit and then put it back down again.  I never thought I would feel this indifferent towards the instrument, or music in general.

The best analogy I can think of is Lego.  As a kid I used to build all sorts of wonderfully creative stuff with Lego.  If I'm given a box of random Lego bricks now I don't think I'd know what to do with it, nor would I care very much.

That alone is a bit of a shock to me.  Maybe it's a temporary state of affairs, but I really don't feel the same about guitar that I once did.  It just feels..... odd.

So I find myself surrounded with stuff I no longer use and don't really need.  I am on the cusp of selling almost everything, no doubt at a massive loss and will have to entertain absolute chancers with lowball offers for really good stuff.

I might keep a couple of guitars, certainly the guitar dad made for me will stay with me for life, plus one or maybe two that have high sentimental value, plus I'll keep the J45 as that's the one I am most likely to pick up if I do want to play.

But everything else just feels like clutter and having stuff for the sake of having stuff, hanging onto a version of myself that probably who probably no longer exists.  I feel like a bit of a fraud for even being here.

Don't get me wrong, and don't read this as fishing for pity, it really isn't.  It's just really strange to me that I once lived, breathed, slept and metaphorically ate everything to do with guitars and music and now I feel oddly different about it.

So if anyone wants my stuff...........

fretmeister

I'll only charge you £50 to dispose of your stuff if you like?

DrCornelius

I hope you aren't selling your gear to pay for comfy shoes Haych ?

Seriously though, it ebbs and flows with me too  - keep some gear and you never know when your passion will reignite 

drpbier

Not strange at all. I had a similiar experience with photography which on obsession for many years and then following various events I lost all interest and sold my gear. Life happens. I did feel better for selling all my kit though, it marked the end of that chapter.

topdog91

It's part of life. I had a phase in my 20s for many years when I sold my guitars and didn't play or think about playing, mainly because my friends tended to drop their hobbies as well for whatever reasons (mainly because they had families I think). Also because my beloved original band split up. And a shallow relationship that cost me a lot of dosh. Then I moved to Tel Aviv where there was an incredible nightime jam scene and people with families kept their hobbies going, got completely reinvigorated and have stayed that way since.

Same with listening, I've had a lot of things to deal with the last few years and my old habit of almost always having music playing has disappeared, but that is easy to fix with my media centre PC (Kodi / Navidrome) being back in commission. I have barely bought any CDs in years (yes I still do) and that is also easy to fix. I think playing in cover bands put me in something of a comfort zone, I really love learning and playing new (to me) songs but still don't want to forget my own musical development.

Same with football, for most of my life I was a rabid Arsenal fan (still am technically), going home and away, 60 games a season no problem. But now I could barely name any players, barely know who won trophies etc. I think this is partly due to being away for so long but also because as football has become more dominated by money, the players and the clubs have become more disconnected from the fans.

Can't force it, no need to force it, it's all good.

Also this guy:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002fwqy

suspiciousminds

I can empathise with how you feel tbh.
Having had guitars since the ‘80’s (not that i’m a very good player though) there’s been times when i’ve had to get rid of most of my stuff to pay a bill or fund xmas or whatever.
But back in 2004 my mom died of cancer and for about 4 years i just lost interest in guitars and most things in general,i just couldnt see the point, i couldnt allow myself to to enjoy things.
Move on 20 years and now my mrs has dementia as a hobby the guitars help take my mind off worrying, even if its just restringing, polishing or a 10min play on a guitar when i get chance.

OilCityPickups

I had pretty much the same ... running a music based business helps burn the enthusiasm out of a person I can tell you!
My guitars sat idle - just used for work related testing. 

Then the double bass arrived. Bought one on a whim, and within a month I was trying out for a band with it - then I picked up the guitar again to lay down rhythms to practise double bass against. That lead me to join another band on guitar ... 

What I'm saying is not take up double bass ... that was just my insane step ... but maybe try keyboard, or any one of a dozen other instruments ... I promise it works wonders. 

BluesLover

Thank you for sharing about this, as I have been going through something similar recently. What I did was pack everything safely away, so I didn't keep seeing it. I'm hoping that one day soon I'll want to restart.
Have you space to pack it all away?

Haych

OilCityPickups said:

I had pretty much the same ... running a music based business helps burn the enthusiasm out of a person I can tell you!
My guitars sat idle - just used for work related testing. 

Then the double bass arrived. Bought one on a whim, and within a month I was trying out for a band with it - then I picked up the guitar again to lay down rhythms to practise double bass against. That lead me to join another band on guitar ... 

What I'm saying is not take up double bass ... that was just my insane step ... but maybe try keyboard, or any one of a dozen other instruments ... I promise it works wonders. 

Funny you should say that, I've had the urge to take up drums for some reason.  Sadly no space in the house to set up a kit otherwise I would probably have done it already.

BluesLover said:

Thank you for sharing about this, as I have been going through something similar recently. What I did was pack everything safely away, so I didn't keep seeing it. I'm hoping that one day soon I'll want to restart.
Have you space to pack it all away?

Sadly not very much.  Mrs Haych would dearly love me to pack it all away safely.

Th4fonz

Damn that sucks I have never felt like this.  Guitar for life

Noise

Been in a very similar spot. It comes back. Keep a few choice pieces, forget about it, and one day... It might be a new song you hear somewhere, or an old favourite inexplicably gets stuck in your head, something will eventually trigger 'it'. At least, that's what happened to me. There's a great Neil Young quote regarding the subject;

Sometimes you've got to leave the field grow fallow for a while. 

Or something to that effect. Seems apt.

topdog91

Haych said:

Sadly not very much.  Mrs Haych would dearly love me to pack it all away safely.

I don't want to open a can of worms, but is it not healthy to encourage each others' hobbies? Perhaps lack of enthusiasm from the other half contributed to this fug?

FelineGuitars

I truly understand 

I get frustrated that I get no time to play . 

My evenings become a endless flow of phone-calls that eat up most of the time between 6pm and midnight -  I have joked that I feel like a telephone exchange (although it's not really meant as a joke). 

Some calls I want and need like my girlfriend or mum, some I value, but go on way too long - usually with the same friend, and some I would try to avoid where I can (like an ex from 25 years ago who wants to pour out all their life drama seeking comfort and consoling).

But it gives me precious little time to play guitar, go to the gym, read a book, cook a meal that takes any preparation.

I even bought a pomodoro timer(kitchen timer type thing) with the intention of telling people that I am limiting the call time  so I can have any balance at all

soma1975

I've taken 6 months off without touching a guitar a few times over the years. I don't think it's a bad thing at all when you're not feeling it to take a break. 

You could even sell some shit so you have all the fun of buying new toys when you're back feeling inspired to play!

joeW

Closing a chapter is exciting as another opens and it’s great you don’t have negative feelings towards the lack of interest.  It’s meant to be fun and if it isn’t find something else.  You may well come back to it in time but there no need to force it.  

I had 18 years away from guitar when I was super busy working 80 hour weeks.  Now I spend several hours a day playing and love learning harmony and playing generally.  You may do the same - just follow what makes you happy 

Jetsam1

This is interesting to me as I have not picked up any guitar for maybe 3 months or so? Not rally had the feeling for it. Partly the hayfever this year which has been ridiculous and just a meh feeling about the world. Cameras are still going strong so it is not so much hobby death, but I don't know.

Haych

Jetsam1 said:

This is interesting to me as I have not picked up any guitar for maybe 3 months or so? Not rally had the feeling for it. Partly the hayfever this year which has been ridiculous and just a meh feeling about the world. Cameras are still going strong so it is not so much hobby death, but I don't know.

Photography has taken over a bit for me as well.  It seems more of a conducive pastime with the whole home situation than guitar is.

And guess what?  I'm equally bad at taking photos as I am at playing guitar

maharg101

Get yourself over to the Making Music section and submit a riff / solo of the month, or a composition !

Switch625

Interesting thread and I'm in a very similar boat. Got my first guitar about 30 years ago as a teenager but never really got that good or well enough to play with others. Over the years I bought more equipment to try and re-ignite my passion but as I got older I think I reached a point where I felt that unless I was going to be good at something, I wouldn't bother with it. Still got most of the guitars and amps that I bought and only sold a couple that I knew I wouldn't miss. 

I still listen to music all the time thanks to Spotify and often think to myself "Oh I should learn that" but never do. 

I also went down the route of trying other instruments to get back into wanting to play music... bass, piano and now drums in the form of a simple electronic kit. Whilst initially I had enthusiasm for each of those, I'm now in the same position of not really bothering with them even though I've got the time to invest in it.

For me I think that as I've gotten older I don't bother putting the effort into things unless there's some kind of payoff? When I was young I would do things just for the fun of it even if it didn't lead anywhere. Now I'm kinda like, what's the point? 

gjonesy

been there, didnt play for 2 years - I attribute it to a relationship I was in at the time. The hunger to play came back and fortunately I hadnt sold off my gear, otherwise I think that wouldve been a bigger hurdle. It even gave me the urge to try and build one from scratch (loads of planning expense and time), I'd not even built a partscaster before diving in. 
Dont worry about it, dont beat yourself up, it happens, it may or may not come back.
As long as you have your health and are generally happy, roll with it, no one is judging you. Everything else is noise.

Fishboy7

I've definitely been through this.  You'll get your mojo back though.  Maybe seek out some new music to get inspired again?