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I used to torture myself by expecting to play at a certain standard and then berating my self when I couldn't play as well in front of a room full of strangers as I could at home.
I'd be constantly comparing myself to others. I'm better than him/her and then feeling pressurised to live up to it when it was my turn to play. To show people how good I was.
On the other side of the coin was I'm not as good as that person, and then feeling intimidated.
I've not been to a blues jam for many years but lately have been thinking about it again. If I do then I'm going with the attitude of having fun and probably learning something in the process.
I'll be as good, or as bad, as I am on the night and I'm not going to judge myself on that.
Then, if the jam session is made up of people who don't judge me either then I can just relax and have fun, which is after all w why most of us play guitar in the first place. If it's one of those jams where people do bring their egos and it becomes a judgemental environment then it's not a place I want to be.
My immediate strategy will be, just go along without a guitar and watch what happens and try to get a feel for the people there.
I hope you find one you enjoy as it can be a very rich experience.
Don't get me wrong I like having a widdle as much as the next man, but theres a time and place for it. Most blues jams seem to think that the only way to make a song sound good is to have a 20 minute guitar workout every 2nd chorus.
I have to agree with you there even though for me middle age is a very distant memory. It wouldn't be quite as bad if any of these people were remotely talented but they all seem to as useless as me or worse (a lot of them can only widdle in minor pentatonic) and I'm definitely NOT a lead guitarist.
If it's literally a 'Blues Jam', most of the songs will just have the One, Four and Five chords, but not all (see later)
The following applies to the jam I go to, but I guess it might be different at other jams.
The guy organising the jam lets you know when to get up and play. At the jam I go to, generally each person gets up for three songs, then there's a change over until you're called up again.
Whoever is singing, will name the song, the key and whether it's major or minor. Usually, they give you the nod to take a solo.
Not always, but they may also say things like 'early four' if it goes to the four chord in the second bar, before going back to the one chord. I've even encountered 'early five' being said, when we played Key To The Highway. If it's a song I'm completely unfamilar with, I might play sparsely and listen out for when it goes to the four, and whether it goes to the five chord (or not) at the end of the sequence, until I've got the structure.
If it's not an obvious chord sequence, they'll generally ask if you know the song and, if not, tell you the chords. If someone else is leading the song, I'm not afraid to stop playing or play very sparsely until I've sussed what's going on.
I try to find something that slots in with, and compliments, what others are playing. I also look at and listen to the bass and drums a lot. When someone else is taking a solo, I may reduce my volume a lot or stop playing completely to leave them space, especially if there are two or three guitarists and keyboards.
There are three 'curve ball' blues songs that might crop up, that don't follow the obvious chord sequence. So it might be worth familiarising yourself with them. The good news is they're almost invariably played in the same key every time.
The Thrill Is Gone (BB King) - B minor
Need Your Love So Bad (Fleetwood Mac) - A
Stormy Monday (Allman Brothers) - G.
Watch out for Stormy Monday, because it's more like a standard 12 bar, if the T Bone Walker version is played.
I recorded the first few jams I went to on my phone, so I could practice at home and be better prepared. I don't do that anymore, but I record any song that crops up that doesn't have an obvious chord sequence, unless I'm up playing and having to 'wing it'
It's good to get to know the regulars, and it makes it more of a social evening. I make a note of names on my phone, plus something to remember them by, as I've got a terrible memory.
I've given each of them a listen. Man, I really don't love Blues. I appreciate it as the basis of rock music and I admire the expressiveness of some players, but it all sounds the same (ish). I'm going to try this jam session out tonight not because I like the music but because it'll be a good way for me to improve my playing.
I'm not an authentic blues player either, but still find blues jams fun.