Cringeworthy Lyrics.

octatonic

Dream Theater: "Lie"

Mother Mary quite contrary
Kiss the boys and make them wary
Things are getting just a little bit scary
It's a wonder I can still breath
Never been much of a doubting thomas
But nothing breaks like a broken promise
You tell me 'bout your two more coming
But once is just enough for me

Frankly, this should warrant a death penalty.

Rich

Good lord, that is scarily awful. Rhyming Thomas with promise? It's like orange and lozenge, or something equally as bad...

I don't agree with death penalties under any circumstance, but a heavy sack beating wouldn't go amiss here.

Bellycaster

bigjon said:

ZZ Top, 'Sheik' - never let geography get in the way of an obvious rhyme:-

I met a sheik

in Mozambique

A Sheik with terrible navigational skills :-D

PolarityMan

Just in case there was any doubt remainined that Metallica had passed their peak:

Invisible kid

Never see what he did

Got stuck where he hid

Fallen through the grid

Invisible kid

Got a place of his own

Where he'll never be known

Inward he's grown

Invisible kid

Locked away in his brain

From the shame and the pain

World down the drain

Invisible kid

Suspicious of your touch

Don't want no crutch

But it's all too much

I hide inside

I hurt inside

I hide inside, bull I'll show you...

I'm OK, just go away

Into distance let me fade

I'm OK, just go away

I'm OK, but please don't stray too far

Open your heart

I'm beating right here

Open your mind

I'm beating right here

Open your heart

I'm beating right here

Open your mind

I'm beating right here

Ooh, what a good boy you are

Out of the way and you're kept to yourself

Ooh, can't you see that he's not here

He doesn't want the attention you give

Ooh, unplugging from it all

Invisible kid floats alone in his room

Ooh, what a quiet boy you are

He looks so calm floating 'round and around himself

I copied the lot cos I couldnt decide what the shittest bit was

octatonic

Rich said:

but a heavy sack beating wouldn't go amiss here.

I know just the dominatrix for that!

Rich

octatonic said:

Rich said:

but a heavy sack beating wouldn't go amiss here.

I know just the dominatrix for that!

Eep!

Shark_Eyes

I always found The Police - Don't stand so close to me to have a particularly bad verse:

"He starts to shake and cough / 

Just like the old man in / 

That book by Nabokov."

I think it's just a little too clever for its own good.

Grumpyrocker

octatonic said:

Dream Theater: "Lie"

Mother Mary quite contrary
Kiss the boys and make them wary
Things are getting just a little bit scary
It's a wonder I can still breath
Never been much of a doubting thomas
But nothing breaks like a broken promise
You tell me 'bout your two more coming
But once is just enough for me

Frankly, this should warrant a death penalty.

Yes. Much as I like that album - that particular stanza is like the kind of dreadful poetry I used to write when I was 14. Really awful stuff.

Col_Decker

Its when song writters use obvious .... er don't know the word ... 'opposites' in their songs. That Black Stone Cherry song for example ...

 

"Have you seen the blindman ..."

have you seen him, he's blind. He can't see you, yet you can see him. Geddit? Fuck me its 6th form poetry of the worst kind.

WYNIR0

All good suggestions, but nothing next to Pink by Aerosmith utter, utter toss.

Pink it's my new obsession 

Pink it's not even a question, 

Pink on the lips of your lover, 'cause 

Pink is the love you discover 

Pink as the bing on your cherry 

Pink 'cause you are so very 

Pink it's the color of passion 

'Cause today it just goes with the fashion 

Pink it was love at first sight 

Pink when I turn out the light, and 

Pink gets me high as a kite 

And I think everything is going to be all right 

No matter what we do tonight 

You could be my flamingo 

'Coz pink is the new kinda lingo 

Pink like a deco umbrella 

It's kink - but you don't ever tell her 

Pink it was love at first sight, and 

Pink when I turn out the light 

Pink gets me high as a kite 

And I think everything is going to be all right 

No matter what we do tonight 

I want to be your lover 

I wanna wrap you in rubber 

As pink as the sheets that we lay on 

Pink it's my favorite crayon, yeah 

Pink it was love at first sight 

Pink when I turn out the light 

Pink it's like red but not quite 

And I think everything is going to be all right 

No matter what we do tonight

[Deleted User]

"I think it's just a little too clever for its own good"
Ah, good old Sting! 'Pretentious' more than clever.... He has rhymed 'seam' with 'carbon fourteen' and 'alabaster' with 'master' at various points in his career....

EricTheWeary

Shark_Eyes;45473" said:

I always found The Police - Don't stand so close to me to have a particularly bad verse:

"He starts to shake and cough / Just like the old man in / That book by Nabokov."

I think it's just a little too clever for its own good.

it has been a long time since I read Lolita but I don't remember coughing as a big thing on it. I'd have been more impressed if Sting had come up with a rhyme for Humbert Humbert.

Handsome_Chris

Ladies and gentleman of the jury, I'd like to submit Mr David Coverdales version of ZZ Top's Tush.

I believe that guitarist Adrian Vandenberg had to receive intensive medical treatment shortly after this tour: He was dieing of shame.

ICBM

Is that genuine?

It's possibly the worst piece of live music I've ever seen.

dogload

I tried to find something to say about that Whitesnake thing. 

I can't. Not even bad things express the bile I feel rising.

HAL9000

Not really cringeworthy as such as it's supposed to be tongue-in-cheek but Little Does She Know by The Kursaal Flyers does have some some rhymes to make you groan...

I was outside the one stop
When I saw her in the coin-opAnd I didn't like what I see. Little does she know that I know that she knows that I know she's two timing me.

 

She was sharing her spin dryWith a guy in a tie-dyeWhen she saw my reflection in the chrome. I knew that she'd seen me'cos she dropped her bikiniThe one that I got her in Rome.

 

When she finished her laundryShe was all in a quandaryAnd made for the street like a hare.Her escape was so urgentShe forgot her detergentAnd dropped all her clean underwear

Righto, just off to write a lyric now where I hope to rhyme romance with underpants!

dogload

See- I think that Kursaal Flyers one is mostly good.

"Righto, just off to write a lyric now where I hope to rhyme romance with underpants!"

Shouldn't be too hard. Oh! There's a line for you as well!

Handsome_Chris

ICBM said:

Is that genuine?

Very much so.

ICBM said:

It's possibly the worst piece of live music I've ever seen.

The "best' bit for me is where , about 1:55, he say just wants some Buffalo Tits.  Are these like buffalo wings, or the tits of an actual buffalo, which I believe is a protected species?!